I sat down next to her on the couch. It was time to start telling the truth. But I couldn't just dive into the heart of the matter, so I started with the little things.
I told her about her absence. How I looked everywhere for someone, something to throw myself into. How I eventually found Champ. Champ required enough of my time that I wouldn't think about being so alone so much. How he insisted that his time was more important. How I just let myself put up with it for years.
How getting a degree only slightly made me feel less useless. How, even with all of this knowledge, I still wasn't the Heir. I still couldn't do anything about the Revenants.
When I found my big sister straddling my boyfriend I was simultaneously heartbroken and relieved. I wasn't heartbroken cause I thought Champ was cheating, it wouldn't be the first time, and really, I realize now he was only there to bide time until someone who actually cared came along. I was heartbroken because my best friend finally showed back up and didn't even have the decency to look for me first. The relief stemmed from her being alive. So many years with minimal contact. So many years wondering if the next information I got about her would be her death certificate.
And then when I realized she was back for good I allowed myself to actually stop and look around. I found myself seeing how someone actually cares for someone they love. I didn't love Champ. Champ sure as hell didn't love me.
And then someone walked into Shorty's, all dimples, confidence, and red hair. They made me feel giddy. Giddy like a little girl with a crush. Giddy like someone who finally found the jackpot they were looking for. I had nerves and butterflies, hell, I still do, but they're finally not out of fear or anything bad, they're out of happiness and excitement and feeling something I didn't even know existed.
Nicole was there. From the first step into the bar until now. Even without having a clue what was going on, Nicole only wanted to help, to protect, to support. There was no pressure to make up my mind. She was patient, and good, and kind, and more than I could ever hope to find in this hell hole.
And I explained to my big sister, my best friend, my shoulder to lean on, how, even though I didn't need it, all I wanted right now was her support. I was falling hard and fast for the dimpled deputy and being able to share my happiness with Wynonna would be a gift.
Then she smacked me on the arm and smirked. "Well no shit I support you, sis. Haughtpants is great and she makes you happy and helps keep you safe. Honest to god, no matter what mistakes I've made, that's all I want for you, kid." Wynonna grinned as much as Wynonna grins and I couldn't resist doing the same. "And if you hadn't snatched her up, I would've considered batting for her team."