“Hey, babe!” Clarke’s voice echoes through the studio apartment. “Are you home?”
No answer. Clarke could have sworn that Lexa said she would be back by now. It’s not like her to stay out too late, especially without Clarke.
Clarke sets the bags in her hands on the kitchen counter, not worrying about putting away the contents just yet, and heads over to the bathroom.
The med student opens the bathroom door and jumps at seeing her girlfriend, “Jesus, Lexa!” The blonde clutches at her shirt at the space over her heart, “You scared me!”
She takes a few deeps breaths to calm herself down. Lexa still hasn’t said anything; she’s just standing in front of the full length mirror in a t-shirt and boxers.
“What are you doing?” Clarke asks once she’s calmed down. She moves to stand behind the older girl and wrap her arms around Lexa, but the brunette winces causing Clarke to let go and give her some space.
“Lex, baby, what’s wrong?” Clarke moves to stand in front of Lexa who continues staring blankly at the mirror.
Once Clarke is in her view and the image of herself in the glass disappears she turns around and strides out of the bathroom.
“Lexa.” Clarke calls out again and follows the emerald-eyed girl.
Lexa plops herself down on the bed letting her legs hang over her side of the frame. Clarke kneels down in front of the girl, slowly sneaking her hand to intertwine their fingers together.
She hesitates to let the other girl pull back if she decides to. Instead, Lexa squeezes her hand and tugs her forward crashing her into a hug.
Instinctively, Clarke’s arms wrap around Lexa’s neck as the older woman wraps her arms around Clarke’s midsection, giving her no room to move.
“I don’t like it.” Lexa whispers after a few minutes of holding Clarke in her embrace.
Clarke places a gentle kiss to Lexa’s temple. Her hands finding their way into Lexa’s hair and playing with the shorter strands at the nape of her neck. The action comforts Lexa who lets out a long sigh.
“What don’t you like?” Clarke places her hands on Lexa’s shoulder to signal to the older girl to let go. Clarke backs up from the other woman’s embrace, but not before she finds her hands fitting perfectly into Lexa’s. They’re still close enough on the bed that Clarke is practically sitting on top of the brunette.
“Just…” Lexa loses the words in her mouth. She doesn’t know how to explain how a part of her feels like it just isn’t her. How is she supposed to explain to Clarke that the appendage between her legs doesn’t feel like it should be hers? That it doesn’t feel right?
“That.” Lexa looks at the bulge in her boxers. Clarke immediately understands what Lexa is referring to.
Clarke knows that Lexa struggles with her own body. They’ve talked about Lexa’s transition before, Clarke constantly tried to make sure that Lexa was happy with where she was at with her body.
This is the first time in a while that Lexa brought it up in a negative light.
“Talk to me.” Clarke tried urging Lexa to explain exactly what was going on in her head. She couldn’t help Lexa if she didn’t know what was going on.
“I just want to be a normal girl,” Lexa lets out a huff, “Normal girls don’t have a penis and they don’t have to take estrogen. They didn’t used to be a boy. Normal girls aren’t me.”
Clarke frowns at her girlfriend’s declaration, trying to figure out a way to help Lexa be more comfortable with herself.
“Lex, am I normal?” Clarke shifts off of Lexa and onto the bed beside her. The older girl turns to her and nods her head in response.
“But ‘normal’ girls are straight aren’t they?” Lexa gives Clarke a half shrug. “If I was normal would I be bisexual?”
Lexa doesn’t know how to respond. Sexuality isn’t just straight; they both know that. Clarke is normal because the new normal is a wide variety of sexualities, not just one.
“You’re normal because it’s normal now for girls and guys to be queer and whatnot.” Clarke leans forward and kisses Lexa’s forehead gently. She pulls away only to lean her own forehead against Lexa’s.
“So why can’t it be normal now for girls to have a penis and guys to have a vagina?” Clarke placed a kiss onto Lexa’s nose.
“You’re still a girl, Lexa.” The blonde placed a kiss on the older girls’ cheek. “Nothing can change that. I see you as a girl, the world sees you as a girl. What you have in your pants doesn’t dictate what you are.” She places a kiss to Lexa’s other cheek.
“It’s what’s in here that matters.” Clarke places her hand onto Lexa’s chest, feeling the beating of her heart against her palm.
“I love you.” Lexa let’s out before tugging Clarke by her collar and placing her own lips to the other woman’s.
“I love you too.” Clarke murmurs against Lexa’s mouth when they pull apart.
“I know I should feel fine but I just… I don’t know, I don’t.” Lexa’s head drops into her hands.
“Hey, it’s okay,” Clarke moves to grab Lexa’s hands into her own. Blue eyes pleading with Green, “It’s going to take time, babe. Everything takes time. This isn’t going to be instant. You’re not going to magically feel comfortable with yourself but you’ll get there. And I’ll be here until you do and after.”
Suddenly, Clarke gets up from the bed and heads over to the spare closet in the back of the studio. Lexa just watches as the blonde retrieves several paintbrushes and a handful of acrylic paints and bring them over to her side of the king bed that’s sitting in the corner of the open apartment.
Clarke motions Lexa to wait as she brings over an aisle and a few canvases bigger than she usually uses. Lexa has no idea what Clarke has in mind but she’s not about to stop her girlfriends frenzy.
“Come here.” Clarke beckons the brunette over to the other side of the bed. Lexa crawls over to Clarke’s desired spot and sits in the same position as before, with her legs hanging off the edge of the bed.
Clarke shakes her head and lets out a little chuckle as she extends her hand to her girlfriend. Lexa lets Clarke stand her up and away from the frame of the bed.
“May I?” Clarke tugs at the bottom of Lexa’s t-shirt, asking for permission to take it off of her girlfriend. Lexa’s bottom lip curls out into a small pout as she gives Clarke a confused nod.
“What are you up to?” Lexa raises her arms over her head as the younger girl pulls the material off of Lexa’s body, leaving her in boxers and a sports bra.
“I want to make you feel special.” Clarke nuzzled her nose against Lexa’s, silently asking for permission to kiss her.
(Which totally isn’t needed at this point but Clarke likes to be sure.)
Lexa’s heart jumps when Clarke connects their lips. It’s slow and soft like the first kiss they shared. It’s not full of hunger or lust instead it’s full of love, and Lexa can feel how much Clarke loves her by the way their lips move together.
When Clarke pulls back she has to give Lexa a minute to catch her breathe.
“Clarke…” Lexa trails off not knowing what to say. She has no idea how to express how much love she has for the girl in front of her.
“I’m just getting started, babe.”
Clarke leans over to her bedside table and connects her phone to the speaker system in the apartment.
Lexa isn’t really surprised when she hears Clarke’s ‘sex’ playlist start to fill the room
“Before you start, it’s not a sex playlist,” Clarke situates herself back in front of Lexa, “It’s slow and sensual. Not everything is about sex, babe.”
Lexa places a kiss on her lover’s cheek, “It’s always about sex with you.” A cheeky grin appears under emerald eyes as the blonde moves to set up her art equipment.
“I’m going to paint you, okay?” Clarke motions to all the paints and canvases she has out and prepares the colors on a palette.
“So, it really isn’t about sex?” Clarke shakes her head which makes Lexa laugh.
The blonde smiles at the sound coming out of the other girl’s mouth. It doesn’t matter how many times Lexa laughs it’s always made Clarke smile and that’s never going to change.
“Alright what do you want me to do?” Lexa moves to sit on the bed again but Clarke grabs her arm before she can sit down and stops her.
“Can I take this off too?” Lexa feels blue eyes veer down to her breasts as the blonde’s fingers with the clasp of her bra.
The brunette nods letting the other girl remove the cloth. Once the blonde does discard the material, Lexa’s hands find themselves crossed over her chest.
“Hey, you’re beautiful.” Clarke pulls Lexa into her swiftly, causing the older girl to release her arms and place them around the blonde’s waist.
“I thought you hated art that was based on the human body.” Lexa sways Clarke from side to side, not letting go of the blue eyed girl just yet.
Clarke has always hated attempting at drawing or painting the human body herself, she could never get things to look the way she wanted them to. It was a struggle for her but she really enjoyed seeing others work. She’s learned to appreciate the abilities of others over the years, especially the abilities that she hasn’t herself been able to master.
Clarke wanted to make Lexa feel special. She wanted the girl to feel the same way she felt when Lexa looked at her. She couldn’t deal with the brunette thinking of herself as anything less than the amazing person she was, Clarke loved her too much to let her go her whole life without seeing how great she is.
“Yeah, but I really want to do this.” Clarke toys with the hem of Lexa’s boxers. The older girl shivers and pulls back from the younger girl’s embrace, meeting their eyes in question.
“Are you sure?” Lexa meets Clarke’s hands and interlaces their fingers, their intertwined hands still on Lexa’s hips.
“Only if you are.” Lexa nods, letting go of Clarke’s hands as they slide into her boxers.
Clarke slowly pushed the fabric down Lexa’s legs. She gets down on her knees in front of the other girl to get the boxers all the way off Lexa, but she doesn’t choose to get up quite yet.
Clarke feels Lexa’s slight shaking underneath her trailing hands, Lexa’s eyes close almost instinctively at Clarke’s touch. “I’d be coming home,” Clarke hums along to the Mario’s ‘Let Me Love You’ playing from the speaker system, “Every night, doin you right.” The words fall softly from Clarke’s lips and meet Lexa’s ears.
The blonde’s lips meet long, smooth legs that drive Clarke absolutely nuts. She moves higher up letting her hands roam the other woman’s behind as she places a kiss to the head of Lexa’s dick.
Lexa shudders at the touch, her eyes shooting open, Clarke caught her off guard. Lexa meets one of Clarke’s hands and intertwines their fingers again, Clarke’s thumb rubbing soft circles on the back of her palm.
Clarke places another chaste kiss to Lexa’s now hard head but decides to continue moving up the brunette’s body instead of focusing on one region right now.
“Baby, you’re a star. I just want to show you, you are.” Clarke’s singing drifts off and her eyes land on Lexa’s toned stomach. Clarke traces each and every defining line, every muscle, every tattoo and every scar, she loves absolutely no place untouched and unloved.
Clarke places a few more small kisses to the bigger scars on Lexa’s stomach. The one from when they went surfing and Lexa somehow ended up managing to come out of the water with a cut on her hip. The one from when Lexa was little, before she met Clarke, when the neighbor’s dog jumped on top of her and she was so little that all she could do was fall backwards under the dog. The one from when she was at an all-time low in her life and nothing felt like it was ever going to get better. The one Clarke accidentally gave her on their second date when they were playing around in the park under the stars and Clarke unintentionally shoved Lexa into a bush full of thorns. Every single scar, every single inch of skin, Clarke made sure that Lexa knew that she loved it all.
You should let me love you
Let me be the one to
Give you everything you want and need
Lexa’s hand absentmindedly wanders down to in between her legs, she starts to stroke herself to the music, letting the feeling of Clarke’s delicacy overwhelm her but Clarke decides to stop her.
“We can do that later. I’m going to paint you now.” Clarke pushed Lexa back slightly so she’s back and sitting on the bed, just like before.
“Lay down.” Clarke instructs the older girl.
If this were anyone else Lexa would think they were crazy. Why would anyone want to draw Lexa nude, and hard, and laying on a plain white mattress in the middle of the afternoon?
Lexa might not understand this specific situation but it’s the same when it’s flipped. When Lexa writes her short stories and poems and somehow Clarke is always the center of them. Poems are always about the blue of her eyes, and the smile that appears on her lips when she’s genuinely happy. Or a character in a story strongly resembles Clarke that you’d wonder if Lexa knew about the other traits humans could have in the world.
Clarke moves Lexa around a little more so that the sun hits her just right and that her arm is exactly this angle, all things that Lexa would never see herself but still appreciates immensely.
“Your true beauty's description. Looks so good that it hurts. You're a dime plus ninety-nine and it's a shame don't even know what you're worth.” Clarke’s voice is louder this time around. Her eyes meet Lexa’s with so much love and affection that Lexa’s cheeks burn a crimson red and she has to look away from the blonde.
Clarke walks over to the aisle she brought and places a bigger canvas onto it. She grabs a few more colors, shades of blues, oranges, and cream, and plasters them onto the palette in her hand.
“Everywhere you go they stop and stare 'cause you're bad and it shows, from your head to your toes, out of control, baby you know.” Clarke belts out the lyrics, her face hidden from Lexa’s view behind the canvas, but Lexa can tell she’s already in her little world.
Clarke’s hands do not stop moving. Her eyes veer back and forth from a naked Lexa, to a canvas that’s slowly filling up with all sorts of shapes and colors. The cream of Lexa’s skin just slightly differentiating from the color of the evening sunrise hitting her body.
The white of the sheets turns a baby blue in contrast to the headband on Lexa’s head. Greenery appears on the walls all around the girl, every shade of green, from forest green trees to jade colored grass to spring green vegetation, but nothing standing out like Lexa’s emerald green eyes.
Clarke transforms Lexa. She paints her as a part of nature itself. Surrounded by the trees and the forests as if that’s where she belonged. Lexa has always had a fascination and longing for nature, and Clarke’s painting fits that theme wholeheartedly.
It feels like minutes for Lexa, watching Clarke focus on painting. Her fingers moving up and down the handle of the brush when she has to paint a different portion of the painting, mixing the colors with her tongue between her teeth as she focuses on getting the exact shade she wants, (cursing at herself when she doesn’t), Her feet tapping to the music as she continues moving her hand up and down the canvas.
Lexa is entranced by it all. What took several hours, for her feels like minutes. Her hard on is barely a semi by now. She feels a bit self-conscious just having her cock out on display but she’s too captivated by Clarke to really think about it.
Clarke puts her paintbrush down. Her hands are full of assorted colors and her jeans are covered in paint. Lexa takes that as her cue and she shifts on the bed into a sitting position, wrapping a blanket around herself in the process.
“Can I see it?” Clarke nods and moves to turn the aisle towards where Lexa is placed in the bed.
The artwork takes Lexa’s breath away. Lexa has always seen Clarke’s paintings as marvelous, no matter what subject they were based on, but the way Clarke painted this specific piece blows Lexa away.
Her throat feels dry and she has to tilt her chin up and take a deep breath to stop her eyes from tearing up.
“Clarke…” Lexa’s croaks out the other girl’s name just for the sake of saying it. She has no words for how she feels. Clarke painted her in a light so bright you could compare it to the Greeks worshipping their gods.
Clarke drew Lexa like she’s a goddess.
(To Clarke she really is)
Clarke sits down next to Lexa, letting her head fall onto the girl’s shoulder as they sit in silence across from the painting.
“It’s beautiful.” Lexa finally manages to get out more than one word.
“You’re beautiful.” Clarke counters easily. She lifts her head from the older girl’s shoulder and pulls her legs up onto the bed, facing the brunette.
“I love you.” Clarke swiftly pulls Lexa so she’s on top of herself. She places a kiss onto the girl’s shoulder, the right side where the blanket has shifted down Lexa’s side.
“And I love you.” Lexa turns in Clarke’s lap so she’s straddling the girl. She places a soft kiss into the girl’s nose teasingly before her lips meet Clarke’s.
Things quickly turn heated when Clarke stands up with Lexa in her arms, the latter placing her legs across Clarke’s waist, letting the blanket drop to the ground in the process.
Lexa’s back hits a wall and she feels Clarke’s cherry lips leave her mouth and find their way down to her neck, leaving marks that she’ll surely have to work on covering up the next day.
“Clarke.” Lexa involuntarily moans the girls name as she’s pushed further into the wall. Clarke’s hips pushing into her own doesn’t help her hardening dick.
Clarke’s too eager for Lexa for too much foreplay so she brings the other girl back to the bed and lays her down. Clarke takes her own top off along with her jeans before she places herself over Lexa on the bed.
The older girl’s hands immediately wandering to meet the new skin Clarke has exposed. Once Lexa’s hands have wandered to every inch of Clarke’s body, she pulls Clarke down and reconnects their lips for another longing kiss.
“Clarke, you don’t have to do this.” Lexa whispers as when the younger girl moves back down and attaches her lips to just under Lexa’s collarbones.
“I want to.” Clarke murmurs her answer in between gentle kisses. She takes her time moving down the older girl’s body, finally reaching her breasts.
She takes Lexa’s right nipple into her mouth and sucks gently getting a quiet whimper out of the brunette.
Clarke’s hands guide Lexa’s own to her back where the clasp to her bra is, giving Lexa permission to take the garment off of her. Once the piece of clothing comes off smoothly, Lexa’s hands travel down to Clarke’s breasts. She fondles them as Clarke moves herself to her Lexa’s side.
A moan, this time, escapes Lexa as Clarke bites down on her nipple. Her dick involuntarily twitches against Clarke’s thigh.
Clarke’s surprised demeanor at Lexa’s want for her makes her pause her actions and Lexa uses that to her advantage to flip them over.
Now with Clarke under her she shifts down the bed placing wet kisses down Clarke’s stomach until she hits the waistband of the briefs Clarke is wearing and completely skips over them, moving down to attach her mouth to Clarke’s thigh.
“Lexa, don’t play like that.” Clarke bucks her hips up, searching for contact, when Lexa places a kiss just above the center of her boxers.
“Tell me what you want.” Lexa stop her actions and lets her eyes wander to look at the girl under her.
“I want you.” Clarke whimpers out when Lexa’s hand slides under the waistline of her boxers and dips into her folds.
“You already have me.” Lexa plays dumb as she teases Clarke with another slow touch of her finger to where Clarke wants her most.
“Lexa, you know what I mean.” Clarke’s hips rise when Lexa tugs her boxers down her thighs, letting Clarke shimmy them all the way off.
“I’m not sure I do.” Lexa’s smirk is apparent on her face and when Clarke spots it she lets out a small whimper.
She can feel the pressure building up in her lower stomach and she knows she can’t last long.
“I want you to fuck me Lexa. Just-” Clarke’s words are cut short when Lexa slides her tongue through Clarke’s folds.
“Holy shit.” Clarke lets out a moan and bucks her hips up to meet Lexa’s mouth. The brunette has to use some strength to hold the blonde down on the bed.
Lexa’s pushes her tongue into Clarke. She massages Clarke’s walls with a few flicks of her tongue but she quickly replaces her mouth with her finger. She slowly pumps her finger in and out of Clarke, gaining more speed and thrust with every motion of her digit. She adds a second finger and attaches her mouth to Clarke’s clit, sucking lightly at the sensitive bud.
A long list of profanities sounds from Clarke as her hips move to find Lexa’s rhythm.
“Lexa.” Clarke moans out the girl’s name. Lexa’s fingers have picked up the pace and her mouth is still attached to Clarke’s clit, sucking and licking. Clarke feels like she’s in heaven, Lexa’s fingers are magic inside of her. The sensation on her clit is pushing her over the edge and she’s just itching to fall.
“Lexa, I’m close.” Clarke warns the girl. Lexa removes her mouth from Clarke’s sensitive bud and slowly eases out of the girl.
Clarke takes the opportunity to sit up slightly and pull Lexa back up so they’re even on the bed. Before Lexa even knows what’s happening, Clarke flips her so she’s lying face down on the bed, Clarke on top of her.
Lexa can feel the slickness of Clarke when the girl rubs herself slightly onto Lexa’s thigh.
“You’re so hard, babe.” Clarke palms Lexa’s sensitive head, rubbing at the pre cum leaking from the girl’s dick.
Lexa let’s out a groan when Clarke starts to slowly pump her dick. When Clarke’s tongue licks down Lexa’s dick, the older girl’s chin tilts back and her eyes shut tightly.
“Clarke.” She moans the girls name out as the blonde takes her dick into her mouth.
Lexa’s hand instinctively finds itself at the back of Clarke’s head, not pushing her further but following her along.
Clarke can tell that Lexa is close to her orgasm by the movement of her hips and the panting coming from above her. She eases off Lexa and places a chaste kiss onto the girl’s lips.
Both girls have been pushed to the edge of the cliff and are looking down at the fall, itching for that high.
“I got paint on you.” Clarke whispers as she traces over the paint she got on Lexa’s toned stomach.
“Well you did just paint me.” Lexa mocks back, a small smile hidden in her words.
“That’s different.” Clarke reaches over to grab some paint from her night stand beside them knowing they would pause their little encounter for this conversation.
“How so?” Lexa lays back, her hands folded behind her head, as she waits for Clarke to explain.
“Well, that was a painting of you. Now I’m painting on you. That’s two different things.”
Clarke pours a little bit of blue paint on top of Lexa’s chiseled figure.
“What are you painting now?” Lexa watches as Clarke does the same with some greens and some purples.
“Just wait and see.” Clarke leans down to place a kiss onto Lexa’s nose before she continues painting on Lexa.
After several good minutes Lexa figures out what Clarke is painting.
“It’s a galaxy. Why?”
Clarke could have done a million different things. She knew that Lexa always had a fascination with the stars but it was more than that. Lexa was the stars. She was the sun and the moon and everything in between. She was Clarke’s whole world and everything infinitely above it all. Lexa was Clarke’s galaxy, endless, bright, and all consuming.
“There’s galaxies in your eyes, Lex.” Somehow Lexa understood the capacity of those words. She understood what Clarke was trying to tell her in one simple sentence.
Lexa completely ignores the wet paint on her stomach and the paint on Clarke’s hands. All she wants is to show Clarke just how much she loves her.
She guides Clarke and situates herself in between the blonde’s legs so that her cock is placed at the girl’s entrance.
Slowly, Clarke slides down onto Lexa, the latter’s fingernails grip onto the formers sides, leaving marks that will be prominent for days.
Clarke picks up her pace as Lexa’s hips come up with each thrust to meet hers. Moans and profanities are leaving the blonde’s mouth like spit fire while Lexa on the other hand is staring up in silent awe as at the girl above her.
Lexa isn’t even thinking at this point. She’s just living.
She has no worries, no fears, nothing but love for the girl riding her and it’s the greatest thing she has ever experienced.
Even death cannot scare her now. Because death is only temporary and Clarke?
Well Clarke is her galaxy too, and that makes them infinite.
Lexa’s thrusts start to quicken each time her hips jerk up to meet Clarke’s own. Clarke leans forward and uses the wall the bed is up against to steady herself as her motions start to get sloppier.
The pounding in her ears is almost as loud as the beating of her heart in her chest, the one that beats for Lexa, so loud and strong, letting the girl know it’s there for her.
She can feel her stomach start to clench and she knows she’s close. Lexa’s dick twitches, once, twice, she’s right there with Clarke.
Lexa’s hand finds its way back to Clarke’s lower region and softly graves her clit.
“Together.” Lexa looks up, sweat is evident on the blonde’s forehead. Clarke nods at Lexa’s request and whimpers when Lexa applies more pressure to her clit.
Lexa can feel Clarke’s walls tightening around her erection and it’s enough to set her off. When Clarke feels Lexa give in and she watches as the girls face contorts from pure drive to complete ecstasy, she lets herself go too.
Lexa continues her movements at a slower pace to let Clarke ride out her orgasm. Clarke doesn’t seem to be getting off of Lexa any time soon and Lexa is just content with staying inside of Clarke.
Clarke lowers her hands from the wall and onto either side of Lexa on the bed, she places a kiss so sweet and gentle onto the other girl’s forehead that Lexa’s eyes close for a moment.
“I love you.” Lexa pulls Clarke on top of her so that Clarke’s head is resting on her chest and their feet are a tangled mess on the bed.
“And I love you.” Lexa replies back to the blonde, leaving a kiss on the top of her head before she feels her eyes slowly fall closed, wondering how lucky she was to have Clarke in her life.
Clarke joins her soon after, wondering the same things about Lexa.
They fall asleep with paint covering both their naked bodies in each other’s arms and dreaming about how big the world they live in is but thinking that their whole galaxy, their infinite being, is right here in each other’s arms.