Praise be to love(1)
When mentioning Heaven and Hell, mortals' eyes immediately envision many sacred or bizarre artworks—the more pious type will have deeper understanding. But if you ask an angel what Heaven is, the holy light surrounding them might flicker faintly due to weariness. After all, no one would have a good impression of an office where they've clocked in for thousands of years.
New Testament
"What did the higher-ups say?" The blond demon pointed at the ceiling. "Did they approve it?"
"The processing cycle of heaven isn't fixed. For ordinary human wishes, they're either approved or rejected based on circumstances—most get rejected. A small portion might have their original wishes fulfilled after a certain period, ranging from 3 days to 3 decades."
The angel Alhaitham said this while drinking coffee.
"However, considering the special status of demonkind, your application will be intercepted at Heaven's entrance and destroyed as spam."
Sitting across from him was the demon Kaveh, once one of the Cherubim, now employed in Hell.
"Nonsense! You could easily bring my application form inside, then have any scrivener stamp it to get this done."
Alhaitham arched an eyebrow upon hearing this. "I forgot. I'll do that next time."
"You—!"
Old Testament
Kaveh, initially like Alhaitham and other angels, transmitted divine revelations and grace, guiding ignorant humans like shepherds.
Obviously Angel Kaveh's guidance proved too meticulous for celestial standards. He taught humans to use tools, believing since God granted them lumen rationalis, they ought to learn. But when he presented these achievements to the Seraphic Council, he was met with unanimous condemnation.
"You've stripped them of divinity. Their lumen rationalis exists solely to extol His glory."
In that era, both Heaven and the mortal realm revered harsh laws and strict punishments, if this matter were to happen today, those higher angels wouldn't even bat an eye. But at that time, Kaveh had truly committed a crime. The final verdict demanded he reclaim the knowledge imparted to humans, rectify his wrongs, and erase these memories according to the law.
Kaveh refused. By refusing to retract what he'd taught humanity, he at least preserved these memories from being erased. Subsequently, he was cast down from the pristine Heaven, plummeting into the sulfur-stench Hell while retaining all his angelic memories.
But Kaveh remained convinced of his righteousness. During his first minutes in Hell, although unwilling to face it, he'd admit his feathers had indeed darkened silently.
"Black's rather stylish, isn't it?" Kaveh mused.
True fear only struck when his angelic halo withered like dehydrated vines, shattering into jagged fragments. There was no returning now.
"I acknowledge my sins, but I shall never repent."
New Testament
The timeline snaps back to present. Heaven and Hell long ceased their millennial feud, with celestial bureaucrats no longer obsessed with wielding trivial regulations as divine mandates—particularly after realizing humanity's evolution had slipped their control. These lovely optimists now use a self created theory to explain these phenomena and avoid punishment. It must be admitted that humans have done a great job, and this theoretical system is even more rigorous than the attitude of angels in creating the universe.
As Kaveh's companion, Alhaitham still maintained contact with him after that. Truth be told, Kaveh's damnation barely affected their relationship.
Since Kaveh's departure from Heaven, Alhaitham has covertly assisted his knowledge dissemination numerous times—naturally, through methods leaving no trace of plume.
On a small Pacific island stands a manor designed and built by Kaveh himself—their favorite mortal residence on earth. Here, beautiful winged creatures can freely extend their wings. Through minor miracles, they've adjusted climates across the island, allowing fruit trees from worldwide to thrive. During relatively peaceful eras—usually when both Heaven and Hell stuff are idle—they two will tacitly return to this personal sanctuary, seeking a brief moment of tranquility.
Here, Kaveh would request Alhaitham to bring a Hell-specific miracle blocker from Heaven beforehand. It will not have any impact on the creation of heaven. Alhaitham has no complaints about this, but still asked for the reason.
"Only by blocking the connection with Hell can I truly feel free."
These periods usually become Kaveh's most relaxing hours.
At this moment, they are basking on the edge of the cliff on the south side of the island.
For millennia, they have always had endless topics to talk about. On most issues, their thinking is astonishingly unified, but sometimes, neither of them can convince the other.
"Haitham, have you ever imagined becoming human?"
"No." Alhaitham replied with closed eyes.
"Why not? I'm coming to understand why God favors humans. They possess infinite possibilities—their inspiration and wisdom spark like flames!"
"Because you refuse to acknowledge humanity's darkness. Their intellect ultimately serves only to kill each other and enslave their own kind."
Kaveh bolted upright.
"Look at this—I brought technological knowledge to God's favorite creations, yet now labor in Hell's shadows. You speak ill of humanity all day long, yet now you are sitting firmly in your position."
Alhaitham couldn't help wanting to sigh. "Just telling the truth." After witnessing thousands of years of human folly, he had long lost the benevolence and tolerance an angel should possess. Nevertheless, he still diligently fulfilled his duty.
"You understand nothing! It's precisely the existence of darkness in human nature that makes the goodness in their hearts shine so brilliantly!"
Alhaitham tilted his head to look at him. "We've debated this for millennia. I no longer see significance in determining its right or wrong."
Their conversation then turned to their respective work, earthly affairs and food.
Old Testament
As supernatural beings, they really don't need to eat anything. Alhaitham's first experience of consuming food with his human body was at Kaveh's enthusiastic invitation——that was a long time ago, when neither of them had fully adapted to corporeal forms.
It was a warm, sunny afternoon. At that time, Kaveh had not yet been expelled from Heaven, and Alhaitham was still an ordinary angel.
Under Kaveh's expectant gaze, Alhaitham finished the food in front of him and honestly admitted that he didn't feel any difference before and after eating——to make matters worse, it left some residue in his digestive system that required a miracle to clear. But Kaveh really likes to imitate human eating habits. He immersed his fingers in the fermented wheat liquid and placed it on his tongue. "Look, this is how to enjoy the taste of food."
Alhaitham's eyes were fixed on Kaveh's crimson tongue.
"You can simply describe their taste to me. And what I'm more curious about is——do we perceive tastes identically?"
Kaveh was a little taken aback—he had never considered this question. "I don't know..." Perhaps each angel's food preferences differed. Somehow he felt disheartened, as if life would lose much joy without sharing food with Alhaitham. "Well, you're truly pitiful, unable to taste these."
"While organizing archives for the archangel," Alhaitham tapped his spoon against the bowl's rim with a crystalline clink, "I read about human physiology. The different components in saliva can also lead to different tastes of the same food in different populations."
"So the substance appears in my mouth when chewing is saliva? That's really amazing... "Kavemurmured to himself, seemly recalling something. "...Or you could taste it directly from my tongue?"
Alhaitham agreed. He never knew he wanted to know what the damn fermented wheat juice tasted like. Anyway, he pressed his lips against Kaveh's, along with their tongues, and it was the first time they had felt the softness and warmth of each other's bodies so directly. After the small sip of wine was finally tasted, both angels couldn't help but feel confused in their hearts.
I feel a wave of joy in my heart, is it because you tasted the wine in my mouth? "Kaveh touched her slightly red lips with his fingers.
Alhaitham nodded. "Giving and sharing bring happiness to people."
He also had the same confusion——why did just the wine brewed by humans make his heart beat so violently.
In the end, either of them could recall the true flavor of this wine.
Old Testament
For a considerable period of time, Kaveh disappeared without a trace. Even the emotionally sluggish Alhaitham realized that Kaveh was avoiding him. After their reunion, the eyes that once clearly reflected his image now seemed to hide some secrets.
"You don't want to see me?"
Alhaitham was being overly blunt.
"I... We're both servants of the Lord, His creations. We should be as brothers..."
Alhaitham cut him off before Kaveh could finish reciting celestial platitudes. "There's no Lord here. Just us."
Kaveh doesn't want to lie. Lies and angels are incompatible. If an angel lies, every word he says will sting his soul like a flame.
As long as he didn't lie, it would be fine.
"I've been extremely busy these past thirty years." This was true—he had indeed been busy, though all the extra work was self-assigned. "Humankind needs us." That was also factually accurate.
What Kaveh didn't mention was that shortly after sharing wine with Alhaitham, he witnessed a pair of humans in Mesopotamia pressing their lips together in a similar manner.
They must have been sharing food as well.
He thought to himself.
The difference was, they stood close, embracing, eyes closed. Kaveh wanted to approach to see what cate they were sharing. However, he witnessed a scene that greatly impacted him——the humans removed each other's garments and, after their lips met, uncontrollably began mating.
Kaveh knew humans needed male-female union to procreate, something he'd heard about in many places but never actually seen. In his understanding, weddings symbolized the most intimate union between a man and a woman.
Kaveh stood frozen, observing the humans' expressions of both pleasure and pain. Throughout the process, they pressed their lips together several more times. By the time they finished and nestled in each other's arms, Kaveh had already spread his wings and fled like a startled fowl.
This reminded him of drinking with Alhaitham—they too had lightly licked each other's lips and tongues. In principle, angels lacked the concept of shame, as their actions were all God's will. They neither felt shame nor did anything that would cause it. But when Kaveh recalled the humans' movements, expressions, and sounds, he began to doubt himself.
To convince himself that it was an additional behavior unrelated to reproduction, Kaveh deliberately flew to various human settlements at night to observe their behaviors. By sunrise, Kaveh not only learned that the act was called a kiss but also discovered that humans who prayed devoutly during the day were entirely different at night, displaying such imagination in this matter.
He was willing to share food and wine with Alhaitham but dared not tell him what he had seen and thought. Yet those emotions piled up in his chest, making him feel so distressed that his wings seemed to be shedding feathers.
Finally, in despair, he channeled all these emotions into the most helpless anger. "Of course, it's all your fault!"
Alhaitham, uncharacteristically, paused briefly but quickly regained his composure. "You've been angry with me for thirty years?"
That's impossible—what could make kind-hearted Kaveh angry for three decades?
Kaveh painfully wrapped his wings around himself. "Shouldn't you ask why I'm angry?"
"I truly don't know the reason."
Kaveh strongly desired to smack Alhaitham's head with his wings, but then reconsidered—Alhaitham truly knew nothing. For him, Kaveh had vanished for thirty years only to reappear and lose his temper. At this thought, Kaveh deflated like a leaking pufferfish.
"...Alright, it's not entirely your fault. After all, you didn't see what I saw..."
Then, Kaveh told Alhaitham everything he had witnessed about human reproductive behavior and the accompanying kissing acts.
After listening, Alhaitham remained completely calm. "So, did you feel ashamed, or scared?"
To be honest, Kaveh wasn't sure what that emotion was. Perhaps it was more shock—he hadn't expected that mouth-to-mouth contact could carry such complex meaning.
"Um... I don't know, but something inside tells me it's wrong."
"Because humans also did that?"
Kaveh let out a helpless sigh. "Because every time I recall what we did back then..."
"Kissing."
"Stop saying that word! Every time I think about it, I fear I might do the same things with you as those humans did."
"It's a way humans express love," Alhaitham paused, then added, "Don't you want to express love to me?"
The naive Kaveh immediately explained eagerly that he did love him—he was an angel, after all. How could an angel claim not to love someone?
"Well, can we continue sharing food?"
Kaveh instinctively wanted to scream a refusal. "No! Alhaitham, can't you——"
"I brought my homemade wine."
“……”
“……”
Kaveh stared at the terracotta vessel in Alhaitham's hand, the ruffled feathers on his wings smoothing down visibly. "But I won't kiss you."
"Of course you don't have to kiss me. I only ever intended to share my homemade wine with you." Alhaitham performed a small miracle, evenly dividing the deep red wine into two cups. "In these thirty years, have you, a supposedly busy angel, been thinking about kissing me all along?"
Kaveh guiltily lowered his head and sipped the wine. "For the sake of sunlight and wind, please don't say anything more."
New Testament
When the lingering warmth of the sunset could no longer counter the cold sea breeze on the cliff, Kaveh finally steered the aimless conversation toward what truly concerned him.
"Are you busy lately?"
"I'm doing fine. Michael and Gabriel are preparing for the Armageddon, too busy to manage others."
Kaveh frowned. "Armageddon? But a colleague told me that's just Beelzebub's empty promise to lower-level demons."
"Not entirely. A million reimbursement forms for combat uniforms can tell the story.
Kaveh was once again shocked by the increasingly cumbersome bureaucratic procedures in heaven. What made him even angrier was that Heaven would rather handle one million personal uniform reimbursement forms than devote the extra energy to his reasonable demands.
"Doesn't anyone find this utterly absurd? All of it—major position transfer applications must be reported to Heaven, yet Heaven forbids anything related to Hell from appearing. These years of structural reforms have been a completely disaster."
Alhaitham lied. This angel deceived a demon from Hell. He had never forgotten Kaveh's words, nor was Heaven entirely prohibiting all things from Hell—special cases had dedicated channels. Yet he took it upon himself to withhold that application form.
Even though the evening wind, mixed with the dampness of the sea, had grown bitterly cold, Alhaitham still felt as if he were being burned by fire. The formation of lies was accompanied by a severe headache, and when he wanted to speak, the burning sensation traveled from his vocal cords to the tip of his tongue. Just as it had been at the café.
Yet outwardly, he appeared no different than usual. "It can't be helped. That's the process."
What made it even more frustrating was that Alhaitham knew his stubborn companion's personality all too well. What he was doing now was, at best, delaying the completion of this matter.
"I've already made plans. The most convenient career would be a pastor, though having a demon serve as a pastor sounds absurd. For the first ten years, I could adapt to human life in a church. I can't stay too long—not aging would surely raise suspicions. Plus, being a pastor means I can't keep this hairstyle. It would be a pity to cut it off... Oh, don't worry, church floors aren't hot anymore. Humans aren't as devout as they used to be, so anyone can enter a church now. For my second job, I'll work at a library. I know you've secretly collected many human books. I could even send you some later..."
“……”
"Human wisdom is stored in books. For my third job, I'll choose to be a teacher. I still have so many..."
"Kaveh."
The future pastor, librarian, and teacher stopped his reverie about the future, looking at Alhaitham with questioning eyes as to why he had interrupted.
"It's already dark."
But in truth, for creatures like them, day and night made no difference.
"It's not like eternal night is coming. You haven't even finished listening to my human career plans."
"I don't think you can adapt to human life."
"You know what, I'm great at communicating with people."
"True, but that's based on you being an angel or demon. You inherently have a status and abilities above humans, just like how humans treat domesticated animals."
"Enough, Alhaitham. What exactly are you trying to say?"
After a long silence, Alhaitham confessed to the small trick he had played with Kaveh's application form.
What followed was an argument, an unprecedented and fierce argument. In his anger, Kaveh jumped off the cliff, intending to plunge into the darkest corners of Hell to apply for some backlogged internal jobs that no one had wanted to do for thousands of years. He didn't want to see Alhaitham again for at least three hundred years.
But he had completely forgotten that he was still within the time limit of the miracle blocker and couldn't activate the Hell portal. By the time he remembered his predicament, his cheeks were already wet with the spray from waves crashing against the rocks. This time, it was too late to open his wings.
Unless the purest holy water in the world filled an entire bathtub and a demon was placed inside, such a creature, sharing its origin with angels, could not be killed. Even if the body suffered some catastrophic damage, one only needed to apply for a new body at Hell's administrative department. However, the pain and psychological torment could not be eliminated. Alhaitham spread his pure white wings, symbols of an angel, and scooped Kaveh up just before he hit the water. The chair's cushion still retained some residual warmth.
That night, neither of them spoke. Early the next morning, Alhaitham brought Kaveh the news that his application had been approved.
Kaveh successfully applied for a three-hundred-year assignment on Earth, where he could live as a human and do anything he wanted. Before this, what Alhaitham had done wasn't just stopping him—it was an insult to his ideals. Thinking of this, Kaveh's anger grew, mixed with a hint of resentment. With a flap of his wings, he stirred up a cloud of dust, leaving the angel far behind.
TBC……