Pinch Me

When Dante Wallace had summoned Bellamy to inform him of his friends’ return, he had expected at least two of them. But when he found a filthy and fidgeting Finn Collins waiting for him, Bellamy couldn’t contain his grimace.

“Wells is okay.” Finn rushed, before any other type of greeting. “Murphy disappeared. Good riddance. He’s probably dead at the hands of a Grounder by now.”

Bellamy crossed his arms, glancing between Finn and the President. “So, Wells is okay, but he’s not here? What’s it like out there Finn?”

Finn ran a hand through his hair nervously. “The Grounders have invaded the drop site. They have the Ark completely surrounded. It split in half. The Grounders say that the other half is to the north of here, in hostile territory.”

“All of the outside is hostile territory for people like us.” Dante grunted. “The northerners are unusually aggressive to everyone. I’ve been trying to convince Cage to open a method of communication to their Queen, outside help is invaluable around here. Most of their hostility is directed at the people of this area. What about Clarke? Did you find her? I can’t afford to lose that asset.”

“Clarke is at the Ark. Nobody can really get in and out, Wells got caught while we were eavesdropping, I made a run for it back here.” Finn ran a hand through his hair. Bellamy was beginning to suspect he wasn’t telling the truth. “They have Raven and Octavia too.”

“Octavia? Was she hurt?”

“No, she seemed fine.”

“What about that bastard Grounder?”

“We didn’t see him.” Finn furrowed his brows, and Bellamy could tell this was the first bit of information he actually knew to be true. “I don’t know where he went, but she wasn’t happy about it.”

“Good, she’s better off without him.” Bellamy grumbled. “What do we do now?”

Both boys turned to look at Dante. “Well boys, we can’t very well attack them, now could we?”

Bellamy shifted uncomfortably. “We don’t have the numbers for that.”

“Or the weapons.” Dante sighed. “Unfortunately, I don’t think we’ll be able to save the rest of the Ark. The rest of you will have to do.”

“What do you mean the rest of us ‘will have to do’?” Bellamy snapped. “Those are our people out there! My sister is out there! Raven and Wells are out there! We can’t just leave them out there to die at the hands of the Grounders!”

Dante gave a sad smile to Bellamy, fixing him with a pitying stare. “Bellamy, son, I understand how angry you are-“

“You sure as hell don’t.” Bellamy growled. “My sister is my responsibility, and I won’t let her be taken hostage!”

“Bellamy, I think you need to calm down.” Finn spoke firmly, probably the first time Bellamy had ever seen him take anything seriously. “Let’s go sit down for a while, rest, think. We’ll regroup when we have some ideas. Sound good, Mr. President?”

Dante nodded once to Finn. “Thank you, Mr. Collins. You boys are excused.”

“Thank you, sir.” Finn stalked forward, shoving Bellamy forward towards the door. As soon as they were through the door and down the hall, he began to whisper. “Listen, Bell. Here’s what’s going on. The Ark hasn’t been invaded, the Grounders are helping us, feeding us. Clarke, Lexa, and the Council are planning an assault on Mount Weather to break us out of here. And get the Grounders they’re draining too. I have a radio in my pants right now, Raven threw one together. Clarke wants you to play the part, gather information and help them plan.”

Bellamy stared at Finn, where was this coming from?

“But here’s the deal, Wells has a different idea, and I don’t honestly know which one we should do.”

“What’s Wells’ idea?”

“He wants us to ally with Mount Weather. He says we’ll be safe inside the mountain, but we’d have to make a move last minute. The Grounders are surrounding the Ark, they could very easily turn on us if we prove a threat. Clarke just barely managed to avert a crisis a few days ago.”

“What do we do?”

“That’s up to you, man.” Finn shrugged. “I don’t see a side where people won’t die.”

Bellamy lead the way down the corridor silently for a few minutes. “If I ally with Mount Weather, we’re working with people who drain human beings for their blood, and I risk the extermination of our people. If I ally with the Grounders we could end up wiped out by a betrayal from the Grounders.”

Finn nodded. “It’s fucked man.”

“What do you think, Finn?”

Finn furrowed his brows. Bellamy had to admit he’d appreciate it if the kid would take a damn shower. He forgot how much better everything smelled once they had access to soap. “I’d trust Wells with my life.”

“But?”

“But the Commander… She’s like, really smart. She’s been dancing circles around the Council during negotiations, from what Raven and Wells say. She has ultimate control here, and she’s sent for back up from the other eleven clans. I was doing some math on my way here, and I think there could be anywhere from tens of thousands to hundreds of thousands of warriors on their way. Even if we sealed the doors here and used our missiles and automatic weapons, they’d kill hundreds of Arkers long before we could get them in here.” Finn hissed. “I think Wells is making the wrong call here.”

Bellamy nodded. “Okay, did they tell you the frequency to contact them at?”

“Yeah.”

“Is Octavia really okay?”

“Yeah, and her soulmate is nowhere to be found. I think he was captured by Mount Weather.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t like the guy but-“

“It’s fucked up, I know.”

“Clarke,” Lexa greeted her with a brief nod to the girl as she entered the tent. She glanced back to the maps scattered across her table.

“You wanted to talk to me?”

“I will be traveling to TonDC for a meeting with the top generals of the twelve clans to discuss battle strategy. I think it will be best that you accompany me to represent the Skaikru.” Lexa shrugged a single shoulder. “You understand best the limitations and strengths of your people.” Lexa paused. “It will also give Indra an opportunity to show the extent of the damage to TonDC your people will be responsible for.”

Clarke nodded. “And you want me? Not the Chancellor?”

Lexa placed her palms on the table before her, leaning slightly. She still avoided Clarke’s eyes. “My people recognize you as the leader of the Skaikru. When I organized peace talks with you before the Maunon attack, your leadership was legitimized. They are most likely to accept your presence within the war chambers rather than the Chancellor’s.”

Clarke stepped forward to glance over the maps Lexa tried to distract herself with. “Okay,”

“You will come with me then?”

“Yeah,” Clarke sunk into a chair near the table. “Sure. What’s the plan?”

Lexa glanced up to meet Clarke’s eyes. “Well, we have a few things that need to be done before we can even approach the Maunon. You said Bellamy hasn’t spoken through your device yet?”

Clarke bit back a smirk. “Yeah, he hasn’t radioed in yet. We expect him in the next few hours. Raven and Wells are taking turns monitoring the safe channels. We assumed there would be a delay, Bellamy has to find a safe place to talk where no one will overhear him, but it shouldn’t be too long.”

“Well, once we’re in contact with our inside man, we must develop as much of a map of the internal mechanisms of the Maunon hive as we can.” Lexa sat back. “After that we have to destroy the fog creator. Only once that happens can we get anywhere near the Maunon with any significant military force.”

“Okay, so after all of that, how do we go forward?”

Lexa shrugged a shoulder. “That’s the purpose of the meeting. I don’t know the full strength of the forces marching under the banner of the Coalition. How many warriors I have at my disposal for an attack so imminent depends on the time of year and the movements of the other clans in the south.”

“How so?”

Lexa gave a soft smile. “My city of Polis, where I live most of the year, acts as the Capitol of the Coalition. I have multiple interclan capitols scattered across several clans, but the main center is in Polis.” Clarke could see the giddiness in Lexa’s eyes as she explained her country. “Clans send gona to live and protect these interclan capitols, and especially Polis, so that their troops do not have to march such long distances in order to aid the clans of the Coalition. We are very far north in comparison to the Broadleaf clan, and the Blue Cliff clan must march along very difficult to traverse terrain. So, they send portions of their army to Polis, so that they may fulfill their martial duty to the Coalition. Of course, the gona have families and people to care for in their home clans, so these troops are periodically rotated between the clans and the capitols. Sometimes the number of gona within Polis varies. I will not be certain until the meeting in TonDC.”

“That sounds… fascinating.” Clarke blinked, all at once surprised at the complexity of the civilization and guilty for being surprised in the first place.

“It’s one of my best accomplishments, I think.” Lexa was clearly struggling to contain her excitement. “These gona, they bring with them the traditions and languages and food from their homes with them, and then, because they are not fighting with the other clans, they share them. Polis has tripled in size since I was a child, and it has become a hub for cultures and languages to be shared and explored. The gona go home to tell about their discoveries and friendships made with clans they would never have come into contact with without the Coalition. Right before our eyes, bonds are being forged that will last generations.” Lexa’s smile grew into a grin. “This sort of thing could never have happened while I was a child. We were too obsessed with war and destruction. We’re entering a new era, and the destruction of the Maunon will allow us to continue to grow and prosper.”

Clarke couldn’t suppress her fond smile as Lexa spoke excitedly. Lexa seemed to catch herself at seeing Clarke’s expression. She took a moment to look away and collect herself. “The point I meant to make, is that our society is much more complex, information changes rapidly. We can’t charge the Maunon with blades drawn and vicious war cries. Getting the clans to do anything together is… cumbersome.”

“I can imagine. I don’t think it’s easy to seamlessly incorporate twelve individual cultures, it’s kind of incredible how you’ve managed to do that.”

Lexa sighed, nodding to herself as she turned away to begin pacing. “Hopefully we can add a thirteenth. The fall of the Maunon will ensure your place among the clans, but it’s best that my people are used to seeing the Skaikru as an ally and organized power.”

Clarke nodded. “And they’ll see me as their leader?” She asked nervously.

“My people do not see young leaders as a negative the way your people do.” Lexa seemed to misread Clarke’s nervousness.

“It’s not that. I just, I’m not a leader.”

Lexa scoffed. “You don’t see the way your people look to you. Your people certainly seem to think of you as one.”

“They follow the Chancellor.”

“And who does the Chancellor follow?”

“No one!” Clarke rolled her eyes. “She only considers what I have to say because she’s my mother.”

Lexa gave her a skeptical look. “Are you sure? Marcus Kane seeks your advice as well. The other members of the council, they seem to appreciate your input. I think you underestimate the respect others have for you.”

Clarke shook her head. “I don’t think that’s true.”

Lexa shrugged. “You’ve kept your people alive for this long, and you’re working to secure an alliance that would keep them alive longer, is that not exactly what a leader does?”

Clarke crossed her arms. “Does it matter?”

Lexa grinned, and Clarke had to fight to keep the surprise from her face. Two genuine smiles in one conversation? Lexa was usually so stoic, Clarke was surprised she knew how. “To my people, it does. You should keep your insecurities about your place as your people’s leader to yourself.”

“Comforting.” Clarke commented dryly.

“I didn’t mean it to be.” Lexa raised an eyebrow. “My people are hounds, they can smell weakness. I have many allies, but even more enemies. In becoming my ally, you will face scrutiny. If they deem you to be weak, and by ‘you’ I mean all of Skaikru, they may decide to stamp out the weakness.”

“And somehow a young girl ‘insecure about her place’ is a weakness for all of my people?”

“Clarke, you’re not just a young girl.” Lexa rolled her eyes. “You can’t think like that; it will get you killed. I am only bringing you for a reason. You know that the Council is split, I wouldn’t be surprised if Kaplan formed his own faction in an attempt to seize the Chancellorship from your mother. Kane follows your mother, but he still questions her decisions, as any advisor should. But in front of a war party? Your people cannot be seen arguing. Your leader cannot be seen asking for permission from anyone. If you believe you don’t belong there, that you are not powerful, they believe that all of your people are weak. They have no leader, and a people without a leader is disorganized, and disorganization quickly becomes a threat.” Lexa explained. “Anya approaching your people before we were taken by the Maunon, that was just as much an invitation as a scouting mission. If no clear leader emerged from your people… I would have ordered the Trikru to attack.” She admitted, at least she had the decency to look embarrassed. “I’m glad it didn’t come to that.”

Clarke stared off in the distance. That could have been tragic, a story worthy of Shakespearean plays. Come to think of it, Romeo and Juliet had been frighteningly similar. What would have happened had she died before meeting Lexa? Clarke couldn’t imagine Lexa would handle unknowingly killing her soulmate well. Would she feel guilty over the death of someone she had never known?

That line of questions was useless. Clarke decided. It hadn’t happened, it didn’t matter. What mattered was the war meeting in TonDC. She had to gather the necessary information to report to Lexa and the other clan leaders from her mother. Not to mention she had to tell her mother that she wasn’t invited. She needed to make sure Raven and Wells knew what to do when Bellamy radioed in. She ought to check in on Octavia. They hadn’t spoken much since the Grounders met them at the dropship, but Clarke was curious about Lincoln. He’d been caught by the ripa, but Octavia said he was still alive, which indicated to Clarke that he hadn’t been eaten. If the ripa hadn’t eaten him, then what happened to Lincoln? Octavia had said they weren’t draining him of blood.

“What do you think the ripa are?” Clarke barely had the presence of mind to direct the question to Lexa, though she wasn’t particularly listening for an answer.

“You know what the ripa are.” Lexa furrowed her brows, setting down across from Clarke and leaning back in her chair, she crossed her legs and took to fidgeting with her knife in her hands. “You were there when we escaped. They were the people attacking us in the tunnels.”

“No, I mean what made them that way?”

Lexa shrugged. “There are theories among my people that the Maunon feed on the souls of our warriors. They suck them out and dispose of the shells. Sometimes the bodies don’t completely die- usually the best warriors- they escape and wreak havoc as soulless monsters. The skills and knowledge of the land still locked inside, but their sense of self gone. They say that the Maunon strikes deals with the ripa, that if they do their bidding for long enough, they may have their souls back.” Lexa shook her head. “Obviously that’s not what’s happening, but… my people don’t have the same insight into the motivations of the Maunon.”

Clarke moved to cross her legs, mirroring Lexa without realizing it. “Well, we know it’s not souls or whatever, the Maunon harvests blood, not spirits.” Clarke paused. “I’m going to ask Octavia to describe what she feels. If I’m right… I think the Maunon is turning Lincoln into a ripa. If we can get even the slightest understanding of that whole process, we could combat them more safely during the siege.”

Lexa nodded, frowning. “Clarke, we won’t be able to fix them. You know that right? There is no cure for what they do. When the time comes, all of the ripa must die.”

“No, I think there’s a chance. Whatever they’re doing. It’s gotta be drastic, but not irreversible. Call it a gut feeling.”

“We can’t save everybody, Clarke.” Lexa was tired, suddenly. The way her shoulders sagged, the sadness in her eyes as she looked back up to meet Clarke’s eyes. Her lips twitched at the obstinate glare she received. “Believe me when I say that I’ve tried. The dead are gone, the living are hungry.”

“Lincoln’s not dead.”

“But is he really still Lincoln?” Lexa countered. “He looks like Lincoln, but when we see him again, he won’t be Lincoln anymore. It will be better for him to put him down.”

“And what about Octavia?” Clarke snapped back, a tightness in her chest growing in sympathy for the younger girl. Clarke knew that Lexa was probably right, but she couldn’t just accept that Octavia would lose her soulmate at such a young age.

Lexa lowered her knife and brought her hand up to rub at the bridge of her nose. The aching in Clarke’s chest grew just slightly, Lexa’s pain serving to compound on her own. “The pain will be unbearable for a few days. No one person was meant to carry everything within themselves all alone. It will hurt. But she is strong, she must be to become Indra’s second. She will learn to bear it. It will be worse for her to continue allowing Lincoln to live and kill indiscriminately. I’d rather one young girl recover from that agony than to allow dozens of others to feel the same crushing pain because Lincoln was allowed to live.”

“You don’t think that’s callous?”

Lexa frowned, staring off to another world, another time. “These are the decisions leaders make, Clarke. One man and his soulmate’s burden or a dozen others? It is my responsibility to protect my people.”

There was silence for a few moments. Before she could stop herself, Clarke blurted out: “What about me?”

Lexa’s blank expression unnerved Clarke. “What about you?”

“If I were a ripa and there was a possibility you could heal me, would you try? Or would you just kill me and move on with your life?” Clarke asked bitterly. She’d admit she was baiting Lexa, trying to make her angry, but what was there to do? She couldn’t possibly be so heartless.

“If you were a ripa,” Lexa hesitated. “I’d kill you before you killed anyone else.”

Clarke scoffed. “You say that, but would you really be able to?”

That sparked a fire in Lexa’s eyes, and Clarke had the distinct feeling she had pushed too far. “I held the severed head of my houmon in my hands knowing she had suffered for weeks on end before she was mercifully killed and delivered to my bedside.” Lexa stood, her face darkening as the light shifted across her face. Clarke tried not to look outwardly fearful, even as the tightness in her chest seared. “If it comes to it, Klark, I think I can grit my teeth.”

Lexa swept from the tent, and Clarke had to work to calm her breathing.

Anya just wanted to sleep. Her head ached, her chest ached, and the bright, unnatural lights of the hospital burned her eyes. She would nap, but she couldn’t with the constant, rhythmic tapping of feet pacing before her bed. Reivon wouldn’t leave her alone during Wells’ radio monitoring shifts.

“Skaion, sit down and let me sleep.” Anya grunted, shifting slightly in the bed to a more comfortable position. “I have to put up with Heda’s pacing all the time. I need rest.”

Raven rolled her eyes. “Finn is in there.”

“Wasn’t that the boy who lied to you?”

“Yeah,” Raven frowned, pausing in her path across the floor. “He’s still family.”

“He’s a coward.” Anya grunted. She closed her eyes again to block out those awful lights. “Branwada.” She muttered.

“Branwada, does that mean coward?”

“No,”

Raven waited for Anya to elaborate. Anya held back her smirk, she liked messing with the skaion. And one thing that never failed to get under Raven’s skin was to pique her curiosity and then never give her answers.

“You do that shit on purpose!”

“Of course,” Anya didn’t bother to hide her smirk.

“But what does it really mean?”

“You’ll be mad. It wasn’t nice.” Anya baited further.

Raven groaned. “That doesn’t help! What does it mean?”

Anya considered it for a moment. “Guess.”

Raven finally took a seat next to Anya’s bed, and Anya considered it a victory. “So, you said it while we were talking about Finn. So, it has to describe him.”

“Sha,” Anya confirmed slowly, she refused to open her eyes. She had the distinct feeling that opening her eyes and looking at Raven’s face right that second would push her down a path she could never turn away from. That didn’t mean that Anya knew exactly what she looked like when she was trying to solve a puzzle, the furrow of her brows, head cocked to the side, eyes darting back and forth like she was reading every word she had ever seen over again in her head.

Anya didn’t need to look.

“Okay. So, it describes Finn… who else does it describe? Can it only describe people?”

Anya lost her own internal battle and turned to look at her. Sure enough, she had been completely correct, only confirmed by her quickened pulse. “It describes most of the Skaikru. There are only a couple of exceptions.”

“Who are the exceptions?”

“Now that would reveal too much.”

“That’s not fair!” Raven rolled her eyes. “You can’t mention exceptions and then refuse to elaborate, that’s not how the game works!”

“Aren’t you supposed to ask the questions? I’ll answer direct questions only, no vague ones.” Anya scoffed.

“And how is ‘what are the exceptions to the rule’ anything but direct and specific?” Raven argued, and much to Anya’s relief, the worry and anxiety melted away to reveal Raven’s amusement. She was getting good at this.

“Fine, I would say, Octavia is an exception. Clarke, on a good day. You, upon occasion.” Anya attempted nonchalance.

“Upon occasion, huh?” Raven fell silent. “So, it describes Finn, but also all of the Skaikru in general, except for the three of us. But it doesn’t necessarily apply all the time.”

Anya only grunted, watching Raven stare off again to work through it herself.

“You said it after calling Finn a coward, but it doesn’t mean coward. So, is it safe to assume it doesn’t mean anything good?”

Anya shrugged her good shoulder. “I suppose. It’s not a particularly kind thing to say, no.”

“Shocking.” Raven deadpanned, letting the slightest hint of a smile shine through as she glanced at Anya again. “Doesn’t mean a coward. Doesn’t describe Octavia, Clarke, or me. Doesn’t apply all the time. Are some people more of a branwada than others?”

“Most definitely.”

Raven leaned back in her seat, and Anya saw all of the pieces seem to click together. “Does it describe kindness?”

“No,”

“Okay, what about liar?”

“No,”

“Come on! Just one more hint, Anya! I’ve almost got it!” Raven begged.

“If you almost have it then you don’t need another hint.” Anya mocked, grinning.

“Whatever.” Raven crossed her arms. “I’ll ask someone else.”

“Ah, that’s okay. I guess you’re just not smart enough-“

“Fuck you!” Raven grumbled. “It describes Finn, in your opinion. And in your opinion, there are only a couple of exceptions out of the Skaikru, one of those being me. You said it was mean to say, which makes me think that the exceptions you named are just the people you like.”

“Who said I liked you?”

“It doesn’t have anything to do with kindness, honesty, or bravery. What else do I have that Finn doesn’t, in your opinion.” Raven glared at Anya. Anya glared back, maybe if she glared hard enough, that knowing look would go away. She felt like Raven could see everything going on in her head, and she wasn’t prepared for it.

So, Anya did what Anya did best. She got surly.

“You know, there were at least two other people on that list.”

Raven scoffed. “Please, I’m the only one that matters. Everyone knows that.”

“Right, whatever you say.”

Raven went back to the staring, and Anya wasn’t sure what to do. That is, until Raven’s expression morphed into utter glee. “Holy shit, Branwada means ‘idiot’ and you think I’m smart!”

“Are you sure? Because-“

“You think I’m brilliant!” Raven cackled in her seat, head thrown back. Anya couldn’t bring herself to be angry. “I knew you secretly liked me!”

Anya rolled her eyes, and if she pouted a little, she wouldn’t admit it. “I put up with you, that’s what this is.”

“Uh huh,” Raven grinned. “None of this was actually a ploy to distract me from worrying about Finn?”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because you like me!”