Chapter 5
|| 23 months ago
Raven was in a coma for four days before she finally regained consciousness. When she opened her eyes, Finn sat at her bedside. She was so happy to see him but didn't miss the split-second it caught him off guard to see her awake. He swiftly jumped out the chair he was sitting on and was hovering over her within three seconds.
"Are you OK? Wait! Let me get a doctor in here."
And with that, he left her all alone, confused as hell as to where she is and why she would need a doctor.
But she wasn't alone. The moment Finn left, another familiar face popped up. It was Octavia who was seemingly sitting or lying on the floor in the corner of the room. The first thing Raven noticed was Octavia's smile. The second thing she noticed was how her stomach felt funny at the realization that Octavia smiled because of her.
"How are you feeling, Rae? You scared the shit out of me, you know?" Octavia's voice is uncharacteristically soft and low.
Raven frowned at her as she still wasn't sure what happened and how she ended up in what she thinks is a hospital room. Just as she was about to ask Octavia what was going on, Finn came back, dragging along someone in a white coat. It wasn't until that person stepped fully into her view that she recognized who it was.
"Doctor G! Why does my back hurt like hell?"
"Raven..." Abby's voice was gentle, way too gentle for Raven's liking.
The doctor ghosted her hand across Raven's arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake. She sat on the edge of the bed and took the patient's hand in hers. This was Abby in mom-mode and not as a doctor. The moment that Raven realized that was when Abby looked back at her with glassy eyes.
She had to avert her eyes and they landed on Finn who silently stood at the foot of her bed, listening with bated breath to what Dr. Griffin had to say. Raven noticed the bruises on his face and the bandage over his nose. Octavia was still standing at her bedside, not touching her but keeping her hand really close to her own.
Abby took a deep breath and told her that the bullet lodged into her spinal cord and that she sustained sepsis from the blood that the bullet gathered when it briefly resided in another man before it entered her body.
Raven only heard a few words such as 'bullet' and 'spinal cord' but it was enough for her to immediately move her limbs to see whether they still functioned. She had heard enough about the importance of the spinal cord when Clarke annoyed her with facts when studying for a pre-med exam.
"Doc… I can't feel my…" her voice cracked but she tried to continue, "Abby, why can't I feel my leg? Why can't I…" she couldn't finish her sentence as her breathing started to accelerate and became shallow.
Octavia took it as her cue to grab Raven's hand and draw reassuring circles with her thumb. "Breathe, Rae. Focus on me."
And she did; at least for a few seconds. Just for a few seconds, there was nothing except for Octavia's green eyes looking straight back at her. But what Raven saw was pity, was sorrow, was pain. It wasn't love that she saw in those eyes. No matter how much she wanted it to be, it wasn't.
So she snapped.
"Out. Everyone get the fuck out."
There were tears running down her cheeks and when Octavia moved closer to… To do what exactly? Raven didn't know. All she knew was that Octavia was moving closer to her and that it was out of pity.
"Now," she growled while closing her eyes.
She didn't need to see Octavia's reaction at her coldness.
Didn't need anyone telling her that everything was going to be fine.
Didn't need Finn standing there awkwardly like a sack of potatoes.
Didn't need Abby feeling sorry for her.
No. She didn't need all of that.
It seemed to take forever before she heard shuffling of people leaving the room. When she opened her eyes again, only Abby was still there.
They stared at each other wordlessly. Abby briefly closed her own eyes and cleared her throat. She knew that Raven wanted facts; needed facts and no emotions, so that's exactly what she as going to do now. Full-on doctor mode without attachments.
She moved toward Raven's leg, motioning to it. "May I?"
Raven nodded back, wiping away her tears.
Abby told her to close her eyes. She started to palpate her toes and worked her way up until Raven said she could feel the pressure on her leg. It was just barely an inch below her knee until she could. When Raven opened her eyes and saw where Abby's hand lay on top of her leg, the tears were back.
"This doesn't mean you will never regain use of your leg. Physical therapy goes a long way but Doctor Woods can fill you in on that much better than I can."
She waited a few seconds to let it sink in, before continuing.
"Now, I need you to focus for me, Raven. What do you remember about the accident?"
Raven was silent for a few seconds before whispering a quiet and broken 'I don't know.'
|| Present time
"Octavia, I did not expect you here," Lexa says calmly as she unbuttons her blazer and drapes it over a chair. She straightens out her button up and rolls up her right sleeve all the way to her elbow. "Clarke is still at the studio, I think. Is there anything I can do for you?"
Octavia had let herself in. After she broke in for the second time, Clarke and Lexa gave her a key figuring it was better than the prospect of having to bail the woman out after she inevitably got caught by someone other than them. At first, Clarke was dumbstruck when Lexa suggested giving Octavia a key but like always, Lexa looked at it logically. In the end, all that mattered was that Clarke trusted Octavia so by extension so did Lexa, she decided.
"Actually, I wanted to talk to you."
Lexa eyes Octavia carefully and can't help but snort at the way she's hanging upside down with her feet draped over the backside of the couch.
"Of course, what can I help you with, Octavia?" Lexa says like she assesses a case, while she untucks her blouse from her dress pants and moves to sit on the loveseat opposite of Octavia.
"Maybe, lose the lawyer act first? I know how you speak to Clarke. Maybe give me some of that actual human vibe, too?" It comes out in a light way and Lexa immediately drops the business-like tone of voice and sentence structure. She's thankful that Octavia speaks her mind and isn't afraid to confront her about anything. She thinks it's a really good personality trait.
"Sorry, O." Lexa jokes. She never calls her O and finds it strange that just one letter can be a nickname.
Octavia rolls her eyes. "Yeah, you're right. It does sound strange when you say that." She clears her throat as she takes a moment to collect her thoughts. Lexa patiently waits as she sees that Octavia has something serious on her mind. She knows that Octavia herself is unaware of it but one of the things she does is fidget with her watch if she's contemplating something.
When Octavia doesn't speak for over a minute, Lexa asks her if she would like something to drink. When she doesn't get a reply, she brings back a glass of water and catches Octavia's eye with a soft smile.
She doesn't know how to start, so she decides to just blurt it out. She sits up straight, against the couch instead of on it.
"Lincoln is Raven's new neighbor."
Lexa shoots her a confused look. If anything, she can only consider that a good thing. Her brother used to be Raven's doctor so if she's in any pain whatsoever, she could just bang on the wall really loud so to speak. "How is this a bad thing, again?"
"Lexaaa!! How much do you know about Raven and us falling out of touch, to put it lightly?" Octavia flings her arms into the space around her and drops it over her face in defeat.
"Not much, actually. Clarke never talks about it and I never asked."
"She never told you?" Octavia asks while peeking through her hands.
"No...?" Lexa answers hesitantly.
"You're useless, Commander." Octavia shakes her head.
Lexa rolls her eyes at the nickname. "I'm not-"
"Clearly not when it concerns Clarke." she sighs, adding, "Have Clarke call me when she gets home."
"Why don't you just call or text her yourself?"
"You're cute when you're clueless," Octavia teases lightly again and causes Lexa to freeze on the spot.
"Are you... Hitting on me, Octavia?"
This is too good for Octavia to pass up on. She gets up off the floor, walks up toward Lexa and stops barely a step away, definitely in Lexa's personal space.
"Maybe," she says while kissing Lexa on the cheek.
Lexa is left there standing wide-eyed and unable to move.
"Don't forget to tell Clarke to call me," Octavia yells out halfway through the door.
Text exchange 10 minutes later
|| Clarke: u need to stop this shit O. She was all hysterical thinking she cheated on me, u r lucky I know u this long.
|| Octavia: I <3 u both, srry.
|| Clarke: so what did u wanna talk abt?
|| Octavia: drinks at Dropship?
|| Clarke: be there in 20.
**
"Oh damn, this might be a problem."
"You think?!" Octavia exclaims with her arms flared out, acting like Clarke is confirming that the sky is indeed blue. "What am I supposed to do?"
Clarke can barely make out the last part as Octavia buries her head in her arms on the table. She remains silent as she hopes that Octavia will look at her again. When she doesn't, Clarke asks a question.
"Do you like him?"
Yes, but I think I love someone else.
"No.. Yes.. Maybe. I don't know. You know what happened at the hospital… I can't date him, especially not now that he's Raven's neighbor.
There's a crack in Octavia's voice when she said Raven's name and it's not the first time Clarke noticed the change in Octavia's whole demeanor at the mention of their friend. She decides to take a leap of fate which would either blow up in her face or they would finally make some kind of progress.
"Do you like her?"
Clarke eyes Octavia carefully and notices that she's holding her breath and that her hands are clutched into fists under the table. She knows she hit a spot but it's up to Octavia to either confirm or deny what Clarke now knows to be true anyway.
"Who?" Octavia asks, trying to feign ignorance as she stares Clarke dead in the eyes.
The blonde isn't gonna back down from this fight and stares right back. She raises one eyebrow at her but doesn't speak.
Octavia knocks her head onto the table again in defeat after a few seconds and mumbles out a faint 'yes.'
Clarke smiles warmly. "Like that?"
It's quiet for over a minute and Clarke is about to change the subject when Octavia speaks again.
"I have feelings yes, for a long time. That's why I broke it off with Derek, you know. He told me he loved me and I just couldn't return the sentiment with her on my mind as he was standing right in front of me."
There are tears in Octavia's eyes and the blonde scoots over to sit next to her and hugs her the best she can in the position they find themselves in. It doesn't take long for Octavia to melt into the touch and shift properly to hug back as she sniffs in Clarke's hair.