Burffdayy Girl!
**********
(chirp chirp) (chirp chirp)
"Mmm"
Moe let's out a tiny whine as she rolls over, her oversized blanket pulled up to her nose.
With her eyes still shut, she can hear birds chirping outside the tent. Becoming more aware of her morning surroundings, she opens her eyes surprised to wake up for the first time this summer without her friend's noggin compressed into her side.
Moe becomes even more surprised when she peers across the tent and sees Kelley on her hands and knees, straddling a sleeping Tobin.
"Kelley! What the heck are you doing?!" Moe frantically whispers.
Kelley slowly looks over her shoulder at a very wide eyed Morgan.
"I can't understand you with that thing in your mouth!" Kelley whispers back sprouting a very amused grin.
Moe quickly pulls out her retainer hiding it behind her back with one hand ,and pointing at their sleeping friend with the other.
Before Kelley can respond I wake up pinned underneath her.
"Dude! What the fuck are you doing!?"
Kelley whips her head back to stare right into my eyes. I have no time to react before she lets out a delighted squeal.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!"
I stare back at the most annoying person I've ever met hovering over my face, waiting for my reaction.
"Get off of me you loser!"
I twist and throw Kelley off me, trying my best but failing not to let out a laugh.
"Whyyyy?!!" Is all I can manage to get out.
"I want to be the very first memory you have of the best day of your life! Besides the day you met me of course!"
I just shake my head. You would think by now I would just stop asking why.
"Thanks for the help by the way"
I say to a very relieved looking Moe.
"I woke up like 20 seconds before you did!"
I roll my eyes.
"Uh huhh...and this is the best day of my life because...?"
"Tobs, turning 21 has to be like the greatest thing ever! You can buy all the booze you want from now on! And tonight you can flip off any bouncer you want while flashing them your 21 year old ID!...And then they'll let you in and give you all the free drinks you want!!!"
I look over at Moe, raising my eyebrows, before turning my head slowly back to Kelley.
"So because alcohol??"
"Yes alcohol"
"Kell I think you might be an 'alcoholic'" I say using air quotes.
"No, Tobin. I'm a 'college student'"
Kelley says, throwing my air quotes back at me.
I can't help but let a small smile escape. I mean it's my birthday. Plus I learned long ago that it's impossible to be mad at Kelley O'hara for very long.
"You'll see Tobin. Today is going to be Ahh-mazing! ...Not that you'll remember after 21 shots..."
The next few minutes are spent with me arguing my case to Kelley that 21 shots is an impossible task for someone my size. Knowing Kelley though I can't see myself getting out of this. I suspect my night will only end after shot 21 or I pass out. Most likely the ladder. I just hope someone carries me back to the campground.
**********
I couldn't imagine the rest of my birthday morning being anymore perfect than it ended up being.
It's early Sunday morning but I'm already receiving an endless amount of birthday wishes from texts and Facebook. A few friends wishing me happy birthday mention they'll see me tonight. They must think I stuck around campus for my birthday.
I get tagged in some very sweet and sentimental photos from my all 3 of my siblings. I was hoping my sister Perry would be here but she assured me she'd drop by for some free waterpark tickets sometime this summer.
Later, my phone rings and I couldn't have been happier when I saw it was my parents calling. It's been 2 months since Easter break, and even though I've become used to being away from home, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little homesick.
My parents tell me how much they love me and how proud they are of me. My mom warns me not to drink too much tonight while my dad just tells me I should have fun.
About a half hour before we have to leave for work, Emily, Lindsey, and Kling come over to wish me a happy birthday as well.
How could they forget after Kelley mentioned it to nearly everyone she talked to on our first day of work.
I'm in deep conversation with Lindsey, so much so that I don't notice Moe until she sits down across from me at the picnic table.
She pushes a chocolate hostess cupcake with an already lit candle in the middle towards me.
"Happy birthday Tobin... From everyone" she says with the friendliest smile.
I can't help but reciprocate that heart melting smile of hers. I'm truly blessed to have been roomed with this girl 2 years ago. It feels like we've been best friends for so much longer.
"Make a wish! But don't say it out loud!"
I look around trying to think. I'm so happy in this moment that I'm not sure what else I could possibly want. I blow out my candle without making a wish. Who knows? Maybe The birthday fairy (or whoever grants birthday wishes) will let redeem my wish sometime in the future.
**********
Not too long after I've eaten my birthday cupcake it's time to get ready for work.
I put on my super stylish teal polo, and slide into my equally stylish khaki shorts (thanks Noah's). I make sure I pop my collar. My collar,along with my yarn ankle bracelet, are the only things toning down the preppiness of this uniform. I throw my hair into a loose ponytail and I'm ready to go.
Moe, Kelley, and I pile into my car and head to Noah's. Opting to drive to work once again. The game plan (which I soon learn I have no say in) is that right after work we are going straight back to the campground to change and out to dinner.
**********
I park in the employee lot and we make the long trek into Noah's.
It's our second day of working the gift shop. We'll finally get to lifeguard and be out in the sun after the Memorial Day weekend is over.
The first day of work went pretty well.
Being opening day there was definitely a large crowd moving in and out of the shop but we managed to pull through.
I spent a majority of the day greeting customers, offering help, and restocking/organizing the merchandise.
I also get quite a bit of entertainment watching Kelley not so subtly try and flirt with any attractive girl near the swimsuit section.
This morning is going pretty smoothly as well. Hao and Mal wished me a happy birthday right away. Moe gave me a breather and switched spots with me, so I've been running the cash register for a little. By the time I know it, hours have passed by and I'm starving.
The gift shop is pretty dead at this hour. I think a lot of people at the park are probably eating right now. I'm about to ask Hao for my lunch break when I see Kelley and Moe hurriedly walking out of the store.
"Hey wait up guys! I'm starving!"
They pick up their pace even more once they hear me.
"Sorry tobs! We're going to go eat down the road!"
Kelley pivots while walking away and flashes my jingling keys in the air.
"Sorry Bud, we're borrowing your car! Happy birthday!"
I scoff in protest but it's too late. I've been ditched on my own birthday.
**********
What seems like forever into Moe and Kelleys' lunch break, Hao lets Mal and I go get food.
"I'm sure they'll be back soon if you two want to just grab some food and take your break behind the counter."
"Sounds good!"
Mal and I stay near the wave pool and head right next door to the Big Kahuna Cafe.
I was definitely right. The outdoor cafe is packed with park patrons right now. Mal and I are standing in line for a few minutes when out of the corner of my eye I see a lifeguard walk across the cafe.
She walks up and starts talking to a girl behind the counter. I can't help but notice she's wearing nothing but her red one-piece. I'm no Kelley O'hara but I can't help myself from checking out her ass. I mean my god...happy birthday to me. Im not sure how long I've been blatantly staring at this girl's rear end, but by the time I come out of my day dream I look up to see her looking back in my direction.
(Oh shit oh shit!)
She makes a slightly narrowed eyed look before she starts walking back towards me.
(Shit I suck I suck!)
My heart is pounding out of my chest when she stops and with the sexiest raspy voice I've ever heard turns to Mal.
"Sup Mal!"
"Hey Alex!"
My eyes go even wider than they just were.
(Crap they know each other?!)
"Hey Tobin, this is Alex. I met her and Allie when you guys were doing lifeguard training a few days ago. She works in the gift shop too!"
She smiles at me so sweetly. Whew! I guess I lucked out and she didn't see me checking her out after all.
"Hi Tobin! Nice to meet you!" She says still smiling as she extends her hand.
I shake her hand, probably taking a hair too long before I reply.
"Hey Alex!"
I want so badly to say something else to keep the conversation going but after a moment Alex takes her hand back.
"Well, I have to get back. I'll be seeing you guys around"
"See ya!"
"Yeah see ya!" I say on another slight delay. This time I make sure not to stare as she walks away.
"Those girls seem pretty nice" Mal says as we go back to waiting in line.
"Yeah...she seemed pretty cool"
**********
The rest of the workday flys by and soon enough it's 6 o'clock.
We head back to the campground and start to get ready for tonight.
Moe grabs her duffle bag and starts walking to the restroom building. As I've been doing all week, I decide to just change in the tent. I can use my phone as my mirror just to make sure my hair and teeth look okay, not that I'm one for putting a lot of effort into my appearance.
I reach down and start pulling my jeans out when a hand snatches them away.
"Hey!"
"We've already picked out your outfit."
"...Kell...give me back my jeans"
Kelley takes a step back, leaning away and holding my jeans out of my reach.
"Tobs, calm down. Your clothes are on top of your pillow."
Gosh she's a pain in the ass. Just wait 2 months til it's her birthday.
I go over to my pillow and pick up the single article of clothing.
"Dude, this really isn't my style"
I mutter as I inspect what looks like a loose fitting, spaghetti strap, baby blue shirt.
"Can't I at least wear my jeans with this?!"
"No! That's a sun-dress genius!"
"No No No No No No!"
"Tobin, calm down. You're going to look great. We're all wearing em.
That one of Moeseph's. She promised me it'd fit you."
"...Speaking of our little Moe Moe..." I take this opportunity as quickly as I can to segway into a subject I've been dying to ask for days now.
"I've noticed you two seem extraaa close lately...Every morning I wake up and you two are practically on top of each other. Then today you steal my car to sneak off together..."
"What?! It's a small tent and you know I'm a roller! And we were just hungry dude!"
"Yeah but I kn.."
"Tobs!...Just...ok??"
"...Sorry..." I feel guilty for bombarding Kelley, knowing this wasn't something she wanted to discuss right now.
"It's cool...just...stop being such a girl and put that dress on!"
"Kell! It's MYyy birthday! I'm not letting youuu tell me what to wear..."
Kelley just silently stares me down, raising her eyebrows, and crossing her arms.
"...I'm serious dude. I'm not wearing that!"
**********
"I hate you guys..."
I'm alone in the backseat of my own SUV. I'm wearing Moe's baby blue sundress. My hair, pulled out of my pony, is resting over my left shoulder. I'm scowling, looking out the window, while trying to figure out how I'm going to carry my cell phone with my ID all night. I'm just glad the two birthday dictators in the front seat allowed me to wear my yellow flip flops for walking purposes.
"Toby you look so pretty! I'm gonna upload that picture to Facebook now!"
"Ooh tag me in it Moe!"
"Oh my god! Don't I have the worst tanlines!"
"Oh hush Toby, you're so cute in a dress!"
"Stop calling me that..."
Moe and Kelley both giggle like children.
"UGGHHH! Where are you guys taking me anyways??"
Moe looks over at Kelley driving and the two share a quick look before Moe responds.
"Well, Tobinnn...first we're heading out across town to Mexicali Rose for dinner. And we'll figure out where to go from there. But since we're all drinking, we'll eventually have to leave your car somewhere before we end up back at the bars downtown, so we can walk back to the campground."
**********
We pull into a packed Mexicali Rose at dinner time. M.R. Is a smaller but still decent sized Bar/Mexican restaurant located right along the river and across the street from the mini golf courses.
Kelley and Moe each hold a door open for me as we walk in.
I walk up to the hostess but before I can ask for a table for 3 Kelley reaches through, linking arms with me, and pulls me around the corner.
"Come on champ! Let's do your first shot at the Bar before we sit down."
"Good idea, it's probably smarter to space them out as much as possible."
"That's the spirit!"
We approach the bar and I'm shocked at the scene I see.
"Happy Birthday!!"
A crowd of about a dozen of my girlfriends from school are gathered by the bar waiting for me.
"Oh my God!!"
I lunge and embrace Steph as quickly as I can.
"What are you guys doing here?!"
"Seriously Tobs, why do you think?"
Steph responds like the smart ass I know and love.
I go down the line hugging all of my friends from school. I at least I don't feel out place since I notice each girl is wearing some sort of or skirt. I'm not going to even bother asking why. I know it must be Kelley's doing and I'm not even sure she knows why she does some of things she does.
At the end of the bar I finally reach an eagerly waiting Cari.
"Happy 21st Tobin!"
"Thanks Car. I can't believe all of you came all the way here!"
"It's not like we had much of a choice! Kelley and her little sidekick Bean over there would never let us live it down if we didn't show." Steph practically shouts across the bar at me.
I turn and scurry back to Moe and Kelley, going for the double hug.
"Jeez dude!" Kelley pushes me off. "Can we get this group shot in quick?! I'm starving!"
**********
I estimate about only half of my friends here are actually 21. However, the bartender cruises through looking at each license so fast that I figure he must only be checking each birthdate.
When he sees mine he smiles up at me.
"Happy birthday, Tobin. That's a nice name!"
"Thanks!" I return his smile politely.
"Anything that's not top shelf is on the house for you. What can I get for you ladies?"
Our whole group gets a shot of rail tequila and a lime wedge to start off our night right.
~Shot one~
I cheers with Moe and Kelley, throwing back the tequila with ease, chasing it with my lime...20 more before 2am? Nothing I can't handle if I limit myself on mixers and focus on my challenge.
**********
We eat dinner outside. We're such a large group they need to push 3 round tables together so we can fit.
Whitney tells everyone she had heard this place is known for their margaritas.
Nearly all of us order some flavor of margarita to go with dinner. I opt for the 'Hurricane Rosa' margarita. It's only about 7 o'clock. I don't want to get too drunk before we even make it out to the bars. However, it's my birthday, and I don't know if it's the first shot loosening me up a little , a bit of peer pressure, or myself just wanting to have fun, but I've internally decided tonight I go hard.
~Shot Two~
Kelley does the liberty of buying me my second shot before I've even finished eating my fajitas or drinking my margarita. I slam down the shot of tequila, sucking every drop I can from my lime wedge while my friends cheer.
**********
By the time we finish up at Mexicali Rose it's nearly sunset. My friends find a free overnight parking lot nearby. We decide it's a good idea to walk down the Strip of the Dells until we make it downtown.
I can tell by the way my friends are walking down the sidewalk (well some walking, Steph and Kristie for no apparent reason keep breaking from the group to chase each other around the parking lots we're passing...children) that most of us are buzzed already.
The sun has just gone down. We're still a ways away from downtown by the time we decide to go into one of the first bars we've seen along the way.
We go up to the entrance where 2 bouncers are standing to check ID's.
"Ooh ooh! Tobyy!! Let me take a picture of your first time getting officially carded as a 21 year old!" Kelley shouts practically bouncing with enthusiasm.
I turn around to Kelley giving a thumbs up for her photo. The bouncers let all of us in without any hassle.
As soon as we get inside we notice this is definitely a country bar. 'Boot Scootin Boogie' is blasting throughout the building.
"Come on Tobyy!" Moe pulls me by my arm onto the makeshift dance floor, which is really just an area off to the side of the pool tables. Moe is definitely a light weight compared to me and I can tell she's already a little drunk just from M.R.. I'm feeling pretty buzzed but together me and Moe probably come off to everyone watching as very intoxicated. Anyone
who knows us would ever call either of us a good dancer, but that doesn't mean we don't like to have fun.
Between Moe twirling me around and me trying to turn the tables and dip her, we both start laughing hysterically before being called over to the bar by our friends.
~Shot Three~
Sam hands me a shot glass filled with brown liquor. One quick sniff and I know it's Fireball.
"Happy birthday Tobs!"
"Thanks Sammy!"
I down the Fireball in one quick motion earning a pat on the back from Sammy.
Right as I finish Kelley slides a bomb cup in front of me. I look around and everyone has one.
"Come Tobin we're all doing a Jäger bomb before we start walking again!"
"Kell I just did a shot!"
"Of fireball! Come on the Red Bull will give you walking energy!"
I'm just buzzed enough to completely agree with Kelley's logic.
**********
After we finish our Jäger bombs we head back outside and start walking towards downtown again.
We stop at 2 other small bars along the way where I down shots 4 through 7. I have no idea at this point how much I've drank with the additions of my Margarita and Jäger bomb, but I've definitely moved from buzzed to drunk at this point.
I'm not sure what time it is anymore but it's pitch black now.
Kelley must think I'm pretty drunk that she, of all people, decided it was safer for her to hang onto my phone instead of myself.
We're almost to the bridge that goes back over the river, separating downtown Dells from the Strip, when I see one of my favorite Dells traditions.
"Ahh! Guys! I have to ride the Catapult!!" I yell getting my friends attention.
The Catapult is a two person ride in which the two people sit inside almost a cage like structure.
The cage is on the ground connected to two large bungee cords that run up two tall pillars. When the ride starts the cage is shot up into the air about 300 feet, coming back down and re-bungee-ing into the air about half a dozen times until you're lowered back to the ground.
"Come on!" I say running ahead of my friends towards the ride.
"I'm so not going on that Tobs." Moe says with a timid look on her face.
"Yeah Tobs. I don't want to throw up." Kelley says, face matching Moe's.
"You guys are such chickens! My sister and I go on every year!! Come on, one of you guys has to go on with me!"
None of my friends seem very interested until Steph speaks up.
"Ok Tobin I'll do it, only because it's your birthday! But if I throw up it's your fault!"
"Yass!!! I love you Steph!!"
**********
Stephanie and I get buckled in. I can tell she's a little nervous.
"Relaxxxx dude! It'll totally be fun!"
"I should have made Kristie do this!"
I start laughing hysterically, the alcohol not helping my sensitivity level.
I must have been laughing so hard I missed the worker asking us if we were ready. All of a sudden, as I'm laughing hysterically, we are launched up into the air.
My laughs are just barely drowned out by Stephanie's screams as we come back down only to be bungeed back towards the sky.
After the ride is over we get off a little more wobbly than before. We are greeted by our friends who can't stop laughing as well.
"Steph! Holy Jesus! I'm pretty sure the whole city heard you screaming!! Kristie says slinging her arm around her tan friend.
"That was so Not cool!! Tobin's up there laughing her tits off at me!"
"Haha I'm sorry!! I just didn't expect you to freak out like that!"
"You're still laughing!"
Our whole group is now laughing together at the usually outgoing Steph being a huge scaredy cat.
**********
We walk over the bridge back into downtown Dells. We're only about a 10-15 minute walk from our campground now.
Our group decides to go into the first bar we see; The Showboat Saloon.
The Saloon is a bar that on the outside looks like an old fashioned white steam boat. Still surprised none of us have had trouble getting into a single bar yet, we go straight up to the bartender inside.
~Shot 8~
I get a free birthday shot of Fireball. As soon as I slam it back a slightly tipsy Kelley reaches around and hugs me from behind.
"Tobbyyy! I lovvee youuu!!! Do another Jäger bomb with meee!"
It's not too hard to convince me to drink at this point.
Kelley and I cheers and throwback our Jäger bombs in record time.
**********
After we leave the Saloon we start bar hopping all across downtown. From what I can remember we must have gone inside at least 4 or 5 different bars.
I don't know when but I've completely lost track of my shot count. I'm still very awake and surprisingly don't feel sick at all, but I am without a doubt (even in my drunken state) very aware that I'm wasted.
I don't remember when our camp buddies got here but I realize I'm walking behind Emily. At this point I also realize I have a hard plastic glow in the dark sticker attached to the front of my shoulder and a few paper bracelets around my wrist.
I wrap my arm around one of my slightly blurry friends to walk from each bar to the next until we reach a bar I recognize.
**********
We 'walk' (some straighter than others) up to 3 Stars Bar trying to look as sober as we can.
We mozy up to the entrance until we are stopped by a girl bouncer. I still have no clue what time it is, that damn Kelley O'hara stole my phone from me!
I see Kelley in front of our line handing her ID to the bouncer.
"Kelleyyy!!! Duuudee gimmme my phoneeee back!!! I slur probably using way too much volume.
She doesn't look back at me so I wobble up to the front of the line and hug her from behind to keep my balance.
"Kelleyyy phoneeee peeaass!"
The bouncer looks up from Kelley's ID with a smirk.
"Uhuhhh..."
She hands back the ID to a blushing Kelley.
"Have a good time, honey" the bouncer says keeping eye contact with Kelley.
After I get inside the bar Kelley walks up to me, slapping me on the arm with more force than she probably realized.
"Tobin! You totally shouted my name while she was looking at Erin's ID! I could have gotten in so much trouble!!"
"Ohhhh dudee my badd...do youu have ma phone??"
Kelley takes my phone out of her bra and hands it to me.
"Tobin Powell Heath. I'm responsible for your drunk ass! You better not lose this!"
"Don't worry so much Kell bells!! I'm wearing a bra too!" I slur as I shove my phone into my bra, giving Kelley a wink.
"Heyy how'd you get past that chick if she knew you had your sister's ID?!"
Kelley looks back at the entrance.
"I don't know dude"
I grab Kelley's cheek and pinch it. "She totally called you huunneeyy!"
Kelley wiggles her face out of my grip. "Yeah in like a mom way!!"
"MOre LikE a She wAants to Fuckk your Braains out sorta wayyy!!"
Kelley slaps me even harder this time.
"Shut up! She just felt bad I have such a stupid friend!"
"...hurtful"
"You won't remember this anyway." Kelley laughs.
And she was sort of right. After this moment everything gets even fuzzier.
**********
I'm on the dance floor with my friends sipping on my vodka-Red Bull.
I spin around gracefully to grind my booty into Cari dancing behind me.
Now facing towards the bar I look up and see a figure walk across the room up to a blonde bartender. The figure has her back turned to me and she looks like she knows bartender as both girls share a laugh. I can't help but notice this girls fine rear end.
Again? what is with me today?
It takes only a second later before I realize.
Wait? Is that Alex??
Did I really just recognize a girl I've only seen once by remembering her butt??
All I know is I have more than enough liquid courage in me to go find out.
I stumble away from my friends up to the bar. I slide myself in between two bar stools right beside the still mystery girl.
I might have over estimated my courage however...My face is heating up and I can't do anything but look straight ahead.
"Oh hey! Aren't you Tobin?!...we met today at Noah's Ark!?" The girl says in that same amazing raspy voice I can't get out of my head.
I turn as cool and calm and I can, sporting a huge smile. (Be cool Tobin be cool!)
"Yeah hey!...Alex right?" (Smooth Tobin) I say pointing at her, as if I could forget her name.
"Yeah! Oh it's your birthday??!" She asks pointing to my glow in the dark sticker.
"Yuppp! It's my burffdayy!" I say pointing proudly to my sticker.
Maybe it's because I actually am as smooth as I hope I'm coming off in my head or maybe she just thinks drunk me is funny. Either way I couldn't care less because I get her to laugh. This girl is crazy adorable. (Stay cool Tobin)
"Hey Ash! Can I get 2 shots of Fireball down here?!"
"Sure thing Al!"
The bartender, Ash I guess is her name, comes up and slides us two shot glasses.
"Here you go sweeties." She immediately averts her attention back to some guys on the other side of the bar.
~shot #too many~
Alex picks up her shot glass and nudges one to me.
I pick it up and clink it against hers.
"Cheers!"
I lean my head back and take this shot quite a lot slower than I did my first those so many hours before.
"So I caught you checking out my ass today...."
I start coughing as I nearly choke after what i just heard.
(Cough cough) "Uhhhh...welllll...."
I'm so completely frozen in shock and have no idea what to do.
Before I can muster any train of thought as to what I should say Alex pulls my arm and leads me through a doorway.
I'm not sure where Alex just pulled me. We must have gone into an employees only back room or something.
My brain is so scrambled from shock (and booze) that I still haven't said anything yet when I feel a pair of hands reach under my dress, grasping my butt and the softest lips crashing into mine...
And that's when my memory lights go out...(thanks for the blackout, booze)