RP Prompt.
*Rose: How Can I Destroy My Weakness?
Rose laid in the snow, steam rising off her skin where the cold and wet met her body. Her eyes were squeezed shut, and her deep, even breaths were forced. She was currently alone in the woods, partaking in a daily ritual, wherein she would read or listen to something that caused her pain intentionally, while forcing herself to stay calm.
After talking with several members of the Family, she had come to realize that everything her world had turned her into, nearly every single one of her knee-jerk reactions, rubbed the group in a bad way. Her blunt way of talking, her mostly-cold attitude towards people her age and older, her instincts and reflexes for fighting... everything about her was completely wrong for a family that strove for Mercy and Pacifism.
Between her care-free cousin and the twins she had decided to take in, not to mention the rest of the group... she needed better control. So whenever she knew she had time to spare she did this. If she could learn to control her emotions, she could control her magical reflexes. If she could do that, there would be no accidents, and hopefully no misunderstandings.
In. Out. In. Out. In...
“Running through the parking lot, he chased me and he wouldn’t stop”
“Tag, you’re it. Tag, tag, you’re it.”
“Grabbed my hand, pushed me down, took the words right out of my-”
CRUNCH
Choking on her own breath, she reacted.
Headphones almost ripped off, rolling forward, hand slicing forward in defense while her magic surged, all before she even had the chance to open her eyes.
Then came the dread. She didn’t hear any screams, only the crunches and groans of falling and breaking trees. But that could just have meant that she accidentally killed someone...
She opened her eyes...
Nothing. Not a single thing. No sign of whatever made the noise- if she’d even heard a noise- could be seen anywhere in the forest around her. Just pitifully broken trees.
Broken like she apparently was.
Patches of her skin began to smoke from fury at herself. What was she doing out here? Upsetting herself and hurting herself wouldn’t solve her problems. It just made her look like a crazy person that liked to sit in the woods and be a magical lumberjack. Hells, she WAS a crazy person that liked to sit in the woods, but THEY didn’t need to know that!
She liked to think that she was alright, all things considered. Hey, she had her problems, but she could be worse off. She might be damaged goods, but at least she had a few redeeming qualities!
Except maybe she didn’t. Maybe she was more damaged than she thought. Maybe there was no fixing her, and she’d just spend the rest of her life jumping at shadows. Maybe she was dangerous, and should think about just leaving the group altogether.
And where would thinking like that get her? If she let herself fall into that pit, she’d never crawl back out. If she let her HP drop that low, she’d be of no use to anyone.
She could be the strong one. She always was. She had to be. In spite of everything, she would not let herself become her own enemy. She was not a tool. She was not a weapon. She was not a toy. She was not a ‘mutt’. She was real, and alive, and powerful, and beautiful. She could do things no one else could, just like they could do things she couldn’t. That didn’t make them better, or her worse. She wasn’t really dangerous, just not used to being around people who thought of her as more than an asset. She could do anything she set her mind to and move forward into the future, because her past pain only mattered if she let it matter.
The past was already gone, it was the future that could be changed.
For a long time, she sat still, breathing normally, her shoulders relaxing and lacking their usual tension. Her mind was set, now. All she had to do was persevere. The forest around her was just quiet enough that, after a few moments, she could hear her music playing.
“How can I destroy my weakness?”
“Cause I wanna be stronger.”
“I need to keep them all safe, but I lack the power.”
“If we learn to wield our flaws, then the future will be ours.”
(A/N: Thank you for reading! And consider this an apology for what happens to Rian...)