You Didn't Have to Ask-Spanna
It was their first night out of the Dollhouse. The four girls were all being forced to stay in the hospital overnight, though none of them wanted to. Staying in the hospital meant being alone, which was something none of them looked forward to. They’d been alone for too long; they craved human comfort. Briefly, Hanna had thought her mom might be able to stay overnight, but she hadn’t been allowed to. So instead, Hanna had made the risky journey to Spencer’s room.
“Hey Spence?” she whispered, unsure if the other girl was awake.
“Hanna?” Spencer replied, her voice small. Hanna tiptoed over to the bed and slipped in next to her friend.
“Are you okay?” she asked. She’d never heard Spencer sound so small. Spencer shook her head, but didn’t elaborate.
“It’s weird. Being out. It’s like we’re out, but not really. We’re still stuck. We’re not really free,” Hanna said. Spencer nodded.
“How long do they want to keep you here?” she asked. Hanna shrugged.
“They won’t tell me anything, and my mom didn’t say. She just said ‘as long as I need’. Whatever that means,” she said sarcastically. Spencer snorted.
“Mine said practically the exact same thing. After everything we’ve been through, you’d think the doctors could talk to us like adults,” she said. Hanna nodded.
“They can send me to jail as an adult, but they can’t give me medical information like an adult?” Hanna asked bitterly.
“Are you… are you okay?” Spencer asked softly. She’d almost forgotten that on top of the Dollhouse trauma, Hanna was still dealing with the trauma of being in jail. Hanna wiped away a tear.
“No. Not really. I’d never felt so alone in my life. At least not until the Dollhouse. Now I still feel so alone,” she admitted. Spencer put an arm around Hanna’s waist.
“You don’t have to be alone,” she said quietly, her breath tickling Hanna’s face.
“How is your breath minty fresh while mine probably smells like old gym socks?” Hanna asked. Spencer laughed lightly.
“I made my mom sneak me some mouthwash. She was happy to oblige. And your breath is fine,” she said.
Neither girl said anything for a couple of minutes. Then:
“You don’t have to be alone. I mean, if you don’t want to. You can stay here, if you want,” Spencer offered, hoping Hanna would say yes. The blonde gave her a small smile.
“You didn’t have to ask,” she said. Spencer’s eyebrows furrowed.
“Huh?” she asked, her brain still slightly foggy. Hanna blushed.
“I mean, I wasn’t going to leave unless you kicked me out,” she said, only halfway joking. Spencer returned the smile.
“You don’t have to worry about that. I’d never kick you out,” Spencer promised. Hanna nuzzled against her friend, feeling safe for the first time in months. It wasn’t that she hadn’t felt safe earlier in Caleb or her mother’s arms, but somehow Spencer had a way of making everything seem like it would be okay.
“Will the nurses kick me out?” she asked. Spencer shrugged.
“They can try,” she said, running her fingers through Hanna’s tangled hair.
“I’m scared, Spence,” Hanna whispered. Spencer frowned.
“What are you afraid of?” she asked. Hanna sighed.
“Everything, really. But mostly I’m scared he’s going to come after us again. And the police don’t even know who the hell they’re looking for,” Hanna complained. Spencer nodded.
“I know. I didn’t even feel like telling Toby that Andrew wasn’t A. He just sounded so sure of himself, and I didn’t have the heart to tell him he was wrong,” she said.
“How is it that even after you’ve been through hell, you still worry about protecting everyone else?” Hanna asked. Spencer snorted.
“It’s less about protecting him and more about being exhausted,” she admitted. Hanna sighed and pressed herself closer to her friend.
“Are we safe, Spence?” Hanna asked in a childlike voice. Spencer nodded.
“We’re safe,” she affirmed, with more confidence than she felt. If Hanna knew she was lying, she didn’t say anything.
“Do you think Em and Aria are okay?” Hanna asked.
“As okay as any of us are,” Spencer replied.
“They should have let us be together. Haven’t we been through enough? Don’t we at least deserve to have some comfort?” Hanna asked, anger in her voice. Spencer pressed a soft kiss to the top of Hanna’s head.
“Try to get some sleep, Han. Things will be better tomorrow,” Spencer promised. The blonde didn’t believe her, but she didn’t contradict her either.
“Goodnight, Spence.”