I Think You're Beautiful--Spanna
It had been an altogether shitty day. Hanna had thought being friends with Alison would make high school amazing. After three terrible years of middle school, she’d been so excited for freshman year. It was a fresh start. Her dad might be gone, but she had a new group of friends and it was going to be the best year of school so far. But instead of being a great day, it had ended with her laying in bed, sobbing into her pillow.
Hefty Hanna.
That’s what Alison had nicknamed her at lunch today. So maybe Hanna had gained a bit of weight over the summer, and yeah, maybe she’d had to buy new jeans in a larger size. But that didn’t make Alison’s insult okay, did it? Her stomach twinged painfully and she regretted the pint of Ben and Jerry’s that she’d eaten upon returning home that afternoon. Hopefully her mom wouldn’t notice that the nearly full carton was now gone.
Speaking of Ashley, she wondered if she was home yet. Probably not, or she would have come in to ask Hanna about her day. Ever since Tom had left, Ashley had been pulling more and more late shifts at the bank. Hanna really wasn’t sure what her mom did during these late shifts, given that the bank closed at five, but it had never occurred to her to actually ask. She couldn’t even remember when they had last sat down together for dinner.
Hanna stood up in front of her full length mirror to get a good look at herself. Her face was red and splotchy, and looked fatter than she remembered it. She pulled up her shirt and winced at the way her hips and stomach spilled out over the top of her pants. Maybe Alison was right about her. Maybe she was Hefty Hanna. A knock at the door startled her and she dropped the hem of her shirt.
Wiping away her remaining tears, Hanna opened the door. To her surprise, Spencer Hastings was standing on her porch.
“Uh, Spencer, hi,” she said awkwardly. Until the end of last year, she could have counted on one hand the number of times she’d spoken to the brunette. Even now, it was more like they were both friends with Alison, but not necessarily with each other. She knew the other girl was practically a genius and had been on student council and the field hockey team, but other than that she knew very little about her.
“Is it weird that I’m here?” Spencer asked, shifting nervously. If she noticed that Hanna had been crying, she didn’t say anything. Hanna bit her lip, unsure of how to respond. Yes, it was extremely weird that Spencer was there. But she found she didn’t mind, so she didn’t want to say so.
“Of course not. We’re friends, aren’t we?” she asked, hoping she didn’t sound like a total dork. Spencer gave her a small smile.
“Yeah, I guess we are,” she agreed. Hanna returned her smile.
“So, uh, what are you doing here?” she asked. Spencer blushed, and Hanna was pretty sure it was the first time she’d ever seen the brunette look embarrassed. Usually she seemed so composed.
“I just wanted to say that… What Ali said at lunch today… It wasn’t very nice,” she said awkwardly, struggling for the right words. Hanna shrugged dejectedly.
“It’s okay. She didn’t say anything untrue. I did get fat and ugly over the summer,” she said. Spencer frowned.
“I think you’re beautiful,” she said honestly. Now Hanna was the one blushing.
“You do?” she asked in amazement. No one had ever called her beautiful. Even her family called her cute or adorable, but never beautiful. Spencer nodded.
“Anyway, like I said, I just wanted to say that. And also, if you ever want to study together…” she trailed off. Hanna smiled widely.
“I’d love to,” she said. The two girls shared another smile, and Spencer said goodbye and left as quickly as she came.
It wasn’t until Spencer was long gone that Hanna remembered how much she hated studying. Oh well, she thought with a shrug. She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t noticed how attractive Spencer was, and spending time with her would be enjoyable, even if she didn’t like what they were doing. After all, she could always study Spencer instead of algebra.