Go Back to Sleep--Spanna
"Hanna? Baby, what's wrong?" Spencer asked groggily, pulled out of sleep by the sound of her girlfriend crying. The blonde froze up, embarrassed at being caught.
"It's nothing. Go back to sleep," she said, her voice thick with tears. Spencer frowned and turned over.
"Han, if you're crying it's not nothing. Talk to me," she said softly, rubbing Hanna's back.
"It's stupid. You're going to think I'm stupid," Hanna said in a small voice. Spencer kissed her shoulder, trying to reassure her.
"I'm not going to think you're stupid. Anything that has you this upset isn't stupid," she protested. Hanna sighed and turned over to face her girlfriend.
"I had a nightmare. About the dollhouse," she admitted. Spencer stiffened and Hanna immediately regretted ever opening her mouth.
"This is why I didn't want to tell you. I know how much thinking about that place upsets you! I shouldn't have said anything. Just forget it," she mumbled. Spencer shook her head, shaking away memories of being covered in mysterious blood.
"I'm fine. Tell me about your nightmare," Spencer said, trying to keep her voice steady.
"That file we found said that Jessica authorized electroshock therapy for Mary," Hanna said, shivering as she thought about the previous night.
"Yeah?" Spencer responded, confused by the change of subject. Hanna sighed again.
"Jessica let those doctors torture her sister. Do you think she let them do it to Charlotte too?" she asked. She felt rather than saw Spencer shrug.
"I don't know. Maybe. But she loved Charlotte, so maybe not. Why? Where's all of this coming from?" she asked. She had a sinking suspicion she knew where Hanna’s thoughts were going, and she didn’t like it.
"What if Charlotte shocked us in the dollhouse as revenge for what Jessica did to her or Mary?" she asked in a whisper. Spencer squeezed her eyes shut, bombarded by memories of being strapped to a chair, connected to wires. She could still feel the agony of electricity running through her body. Without thinking, she pulled Hanna to her chest. The blonde gasped at the sudden embrace, but quickly put her arm around Spencer's waist.
"Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. And I'm not going to lie. That thought occurred to me when I saw that in the file," Spencer admitted.
"I don’t understand, though. It wasn't our fault. We had nothing to do with it. Why would Charlotte want to torture us in the same way her mother was tortured?" Hanna asked. Spencer felt hot tears fall from Hanna's face onto her chest, and squeezed her girlfriend tighter.
"I don't know, baby. Charlotte was sick. She did a lot of things we can't explain," she said. Hanna nodded.
"That doesn't make it any easier to live with," she whispered. Spencer sighed and pressed a kiss to the top of Hanna's head.
"I know, baby. Is that what your nightmare was about? What happened in the dollhouse?" she asked. Hanna didn't answer for a long moment, and Spencer wondered if she'd pushed too far. Over the last five years of their relationship, both girls had learned that they could only push so much after a nightmare until the other shut down.
"It wasn't about me," Hanna said finally. Spencer frowned. She hadn’t been expecting that to come out of her girlfriend’s mouth.
"What?"
"My nightmare. It wasn't about me. There's something... There's something I've never told you," she said quietly. Spencer waited, trying to be patient with whatever information her girlfriend was clearly having trouble trying to share.
"One day I woke up and there was a giant tv in my room. For days, it played videos of you being shocked over and over and over again. I could see the burns multiplying on your skin, so I knew it wasn’t on a loop. You were screaming and crying... I would have given anything to have switched places with you," she admitted, tears streaming down her face. Spencer choked back a sob and held Hanna closer.
"I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry you had to see that," she whispered, her own tears falling. Hanna chuckled.
"You're apologizing to me? Seriously?" she asked. Spencer ran her fingers through Hanna's hair, the act comforting her as much as the blonde. She debated whether or not she should tell Hanna that Charlotte had done the same thing to her.
"Spit it out, Spence," Hanna said, sensing that there was something her girlfriend wanted to say. Her words might seem harsh to someone who didn't know the couple, but Spencer knew she wasn't angry.
"She did the same thing to me. With the tv. Some days it was you, other days it was Aria or Emily. But it's over. We survived that place. We made it out. We're safe now," Spencer said, the words almost a mantra.
"Are we?" Hanna asked, recalling the twenty four hours she'd been locked in some cabin. Spencer sighed and kissed Hanna's forehead.
“Is something besides this dream bothering you?” she asked softly. The two had been in a relationship long enough that they could read each other in a heartbeat. Hanna hesitated.
“We think that Noel Kahn is Mary’s other baby,” she said. Spencer nodded, once again lost.
“I know you’ve seen the marks, Spence. You know I was shocked in there. Not the same way as in the dollhouse, but… That can’t be a coincidence. I mean, who’s first thought is to shock people unless there’s something inspiring them?” she asked. Spencer kissed the top of Hanna’s head, but didn’t interrupt her. This was the first time Hanna had willingly spoken about what happened while she had been gone.
“How many times am I going to be tortured for a decision Jessica fucking Dilaurentis made?” she asked, her voice breaking. Tears once again began to soak Spencer’s shirt, but she didn’t care.
“Never again, baby. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you ever again,” Spencer swore.
“You can’t promise that. But thank you,” Hanna said. Spencer’s heart broke. She knew she couldn’t promise Hanna her safety. But she was going to do her damndest to make sure nothing happened to the girl again.
“We’re safe, baby. You’re safe,” she murmured, trying to lull Hanna back to sleep. Hanna nuzzled Spencer’s chest.
“We are?” Hanna asked drowsily, exhausted from her crying fit. Spencer rubbed her back gently.
"We are tonight."