Can I Kiss You--Spanna
Spencer, Aria, Hanna, and Spencer stood outside the police station, discussing their newest discovery.
“The point was to turn us against each other. Hasn’t that always been what A wants?” Spencer pointed out. The other three girls were silent, considering this. It was true. Since the days of Mona being A, pitting the girls against each other had always been a favorite activity.
“It didn’t work, did it?” Aria asked quietly. Spencer shook her head.
“Of course not,” she said. Hanna remained silent.
“I should be getting home or my mom will get worried,” Emily said. Aria nodded in agreement.
“Do you guys want a ride?” Spencer asked. Both girls accepted, still nervous about walking around town by themselves.
After dropping off Emily and Aria, Spencer and Hanna returned to the Hastings’ house.
“Thanks for letting me spend the night,” Hanna said as the two girls got ready for bed. Her mom had tried to cancel her business trip, but her boss had threatened to fire her if she didn’t go. It had taken some convincing, but Hanna had gotten her mom to go. Not wanting to be home alone, she had asked Spencer if she could come over.
“Of course. You’re always welcome here. You know that,” Spencer said. The girls both settled into Spencer’s bed, and Spencer picked up a book for her literature class. She’d read Macbeth years ago, but wanted to refresh herself before their final paper was due.
"Hey Spence?" Hanna said a few minutes later, her voice quiet. Spencer looked up from her book.
"Yeah?" she asked, frowning when she saw the pain written on Hanna's face.
"What's wrong?" she asked worriedly, tossing the book to the side.
"I lied back there... when Aria asked if any of us had actually been shocked. I was going to tell you guys, but then she said she hadn't, and Emily said she hadn't, and you said you hadn't. So I pretended I hadn't either. But that's a lie," she admitted. Spencer cautiously reached for Hanna's hand, unsure if she would accept the touch.
"Han... I don't know what to say. I’m so sorry. I don't know why A would do that," she said. Hanna shrugged.
"Maybe you all only picked me," she suggested, voicing the fear that had been on her mind since the other girls had decided the whole thing had been a twisted trick. Spencer shook her head vehemently.
"No. No way. Don’t think that for a second. I don't know how Aria or Emily picked, but I promise I didn't pick you. You're the only one I never picked, actually," she admitted. Hanna's eyebrows furrowed together.
"Me? Why?" she asked. Spencer blushed. It was a question she’d asked herself every time she guiltily pressed Aria or Emily’s button.
"I guess I thought you'd been through enough. I didn't want you to go through more pain," she explained, though she knew there was something more to it, she just couldn’t put her finger on it. Hanna gave her a grateful smile.
"Thanks. Even if it didn't work," she said. Spencer smiled back, happy to see Hanna smile. It wasn’t something that happened much since they’d gotten out of that place. She started to pick up her book again when something stopped her.
"Hey Hanna?" she asked.
"Hmm?"
"Can I kiss you?" Spencer asked nervously. The question had been on the tip of her tongue since they had been reunited in the place but she hadn't known how to ask.
"Yeah," Hanna said without hesitation. The question took her by surprise, and her own answer even more so. Spencer leaned over and pressed their lips together. It was like a light bulb went off in her head. This was why she'd been able to force herself to press Aria and Emily's buttons, but had never been able to bring herself to press Hanna's.
"That was..." Hanna whispered breathlessly when they pulled apart.
"Amazing,” Spencer agreed. Worry flickered across Hanna’s face.
“Did you just cheat on Toby with me?” she asked in concern. She and Caleb had broken up, but as far as she knew Spencer was still a taken woman. Spencer sighed.
“No. We broke up. I don’t want to talk about it,” she said. Hanna nodded in understanding. She hadn’t wanted to talk about why she and Caleb had broken up.
“He just couldn’t understand. He tried, I know he did, but he wanted me to talk about what happened in there, and I couldn’t. He couldn’t handle that,” Spencer blurted out. Hanna nodded again.
“Caleb treated me like I was made of glass. He was afraid to touch me. And even worse, he hovered. I felt like I couldn’t breathe my own air. I was always sharing his. You know what I mean?” she asked. Spencer nodded.
“Yeah. I get it,” she said. Hanna gave her a shy look.
“Do you think I could kiss you again?” she asked. Spencer smiled and leaned in to press their lips together.
Hanna understood. They understood each other, without talking about it. And maybe that was what Spencer needed.