Well What Do You Want to Do? --Spanna
"Thanks for meeting me," Spencer said, uncharacteristically nervous. Hanna forced a tight smile. Their friendship had always been so natural; she hated the amount of tension between them.
"Of course," she said. She knew exactly why Spencer had called, but didn’t want to be the one to bring it up. The two had successfully avoided being alone together since the night of Hanna's kidnapping, when they'd shared a passionate kiss.
“So, uh, is your mom excited about winning the election?” Hanna asked. She mentally kicked herself for asking such a stupid question. Of course Veronica was excited. To her credit, Spencer didn’t act like it was stupid.
“Honestly I don’t know who’s more excited, her or my dad. He actually went with her on her victory tour of the state,” she said. If they hadn’t had more pressing business, she might have shared her speculation that her parents were back together.
“Must be nice having the house to yourself,” Hanna commented. Spencer nodded her head, then sighed.
"Han, can we please talk about what happened the other night?" Spencer asked. Hanna shrugged, stirring her coffee to avoid looking at the brunette.
“What is there to talk about?” she asked, adding another packet of sugar to her coffee and trying to be nonchalant. She didn’t want Spencer to know just how much the kiss had meant to her, at least not without knowing how Spencer felt.
“Did Jordan break up with you?” Spencer asked bluntly. Hanna nearly spit out her coffee.
“What? Why would you think that?” she asked. Spencer pointed to Hanna’s hand.
“That’s not your original engagement ring,” she said. Hanna frowned, examining her ring. She’d thought it was a pretty good knockoff, and had never imagined that any of her friends would be familiar enough with her ring to know it wasn’t the same one.
“Jordan didn’t break up with me. I broke up with him,” Hanna admitted. Spencer’s eyebrows knitted together.
“So why are you wearing a fake engagement ring?” she asked slowly. Hanna shrugged.
“I didn’t want everyone to know,” she said. Spencer nodded, trying to process the information.
“So it had nothing to do with what happened between us the other night?” she asked, unsure as to what answer she wanted.
"This breakup was in the works since I came back to Rosewood. And I'm sorry about the other night. I was scared and I freaked out. We can just forget about it," Hanna said, feeling her heart break with each word. She wasn’t lying when she’d said their breakup was a long time coming. Ever since stepping foot in the same room as Spencer, she’d known she wouldn’t be able to deny her feelings and stay with Jordan. And she didn't want to forget about it, but she didn't know what else to say. Spencer could never feel the same way about her.
"What if I don't want to forget about it?" Spencer asked in a small voice. When she’d noticed that the ring was different, Spencer had felt a glimmer of hope. Now it was being dashed away, as hope always was. Hanna's eyes flickered up, then returned to her coffee.
"Why wouldn’t you want to forget about it?” Hanna asked.
"Why would I?” Spencer countered. “I didn't kiss you on a whim, Hanna. I kissed you because... I realized you're the one I want to be with.”
"Jordan wants me to come back to New York and talk. He thinks if he can get me out of Rosewood things will go back to the way they were. Caleb wants me to give it another shot, as if the last three years hadn’t happened. You want to be with me. Lucas wants me to sign a contract agreeing to do something I have no idea how to do. Emily wants me to get Alison out of Welby, when she’s the one who took her there. Aria wants me to go sleuthing with her, but I can’t even leave the house without being terrified. Everyone wants me to do something, and I just feel stuck," she admitted.
"Well, what do you want to do?" Spencer asked, hating that she was included on the list of things overwhelming Hanna. The blonde sighed.
"I want to be with you, I really do, but I'm afraid I'm going to fuck everything up,” she said softly.
"Sweetie, you're not going to fuck anything up. Why would you think that?" Spencer asked with a frown.
"Because that's what I do! I try to be a good assistant to Claudia and I end up being fired. I try to help Alison and her sister ends up dead. I try to catch AD and I end up being kidnapped. Every time I try to do something, it all goes to shit!" Hanna exclaimed, drawing the attention of several other customers. Spencer’s glare sent them all cowering back to their own conversations. Satisfied that no one was listening, Spencer turned back to Hanna.
"That's not true," she protested.
"Look, I think you think I'm somebody I'm not. Everyone thinks I'm somebody I'm not. Somebody smarter, braver, sharper. But I'm not," Hanna said dejectedly. Spencer reached across the table to grasp her hand.
"Hanna, I know exactly who you are."
"How? I don't even know who I am."
"You're my best friend, my Hanna Banana. And you're the best person I know. So screw Claudia and Ali and AD. If this is what you want, go for it. And I’m not just saying that because it’s what I want, because what I really want is for you to be happy.”
"If one more thing goes wrong in my life, I think I'll fall apart," Hanna whispered. Spencer squeezed her hand.
"This won’t go wrong. I'm not going anywhere. Whether we give this a try or not, whether it works out or not, I'm always going to be here for you. That's not something that'll ever change," Spencer promised. Hanna gave her a small smile.
"Maybe... Maybe we should try going on a real date," she suggested.
"Are you asking me out?" Spencer asked playfully. Hanna did an exaggerated eye roll.
"No, I'm hinting that you should ask me out," she teased. Spencer grinned.
"Hanna Marin, will you go out for dinner with me tonight?" Spencer asked. Hanna pretended to consider the offer.
"Yes!"