Sister Alicia
The Big Dodecahedron. Belivet let out a contented sigh as they drove through the Holland tunnel some four hours later. The City of Fdyggdsg and Bhfrwds, as Sister Alicia used to call it. The green-eyed alien was visibly moved by both her own reverie and her former commander’s debatable eloquence.
You do know there’s much more to New York City than just eggs and spinach, Carol needed to point out. She wanted Belivet to see the city of her formative years as something other than a mere intergalactic variation of Eggs Florentine. The Big App… Dodecahedron has been rightfully named the melting pot of different cultures, nationalities and races, she continued. This is where the world has come together since… Her sentence was rudely interrupted by Cantrell.
We had a melting pot at Terez, we used it for our weekly hot fusions, she explained. It was a permanent fixture on the square of our capital city, Frankenburg, and conveniently located right next to the hatchlings’ preparatory school, The Smith High. Cantrell’s smile was disturbingly delicious.
Why was it convenient? Rindy was brave enough to ask. She, along with Carol and Abby, guessed there had to be something risqué behind the aliens’ shameless chuckling.
Sensing her trepidation Harrison slipped her hands encouragingly inside Rindy’s blouse. While at Smith High we couldn’t take part in the hot fusion but we were allowed to watch… Flustered by vivid recollections of her own, Harrison squirmed in her seat, which made Rindy’s ass grind against her lap accordingly. I was up for my first fusion the very same week the unmanned kites rained upon Terez. I missed it by two days.
The desolate look on Harrison’s face melted Rindy into a puddle of sheer sweetness. Aww… I’m so sorry for your loss, baby, she consoled Harrison turning to kiss her long and hard.
“Can we please not have that in here!” Carol exclaimed impatiently. “And how is it even possible for my daughter to suck on Harrison’s face without passing out like I nearly did the first time we attempted it?” Her harried question was evidently aimed at Belivet.
Calm down, Carol-2015, Belivet hushed, Harrison’s oral prowess is underdeveloped due to her inexperience. Her unexpected remark made both Abby and Cantrell snort.
Nothing underdeveloped here… oozed out of Rindy whose thoughts were swiftly dissolving into raunchy grunts.
“GODDAMMIT!” Carol screamed shoving her foot on the brake. “I’VE HAD IT WITH YOU! WITH ALL OF YOU!” she yelled parking the Chevy momentarily on the curb. “GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE CAR… NOW!” Her furious voice commanded complete obedience. Confused, the aliens along with Abby and Rindy clambered out of the car and on to the street. Without as much as one word Carol jammed the accelerator down and took off leaving the flabbergasted five stranded at the roadside.
Running a red light at the next intersection, Carol became conscious of what she’d just done. She had needed a breather, some time alone, yet it wasn’t at all like her to act so erratically. Why am I like this? she asked herself. The strain of the past few days was definitely showing, and maybe it was time to take toll of what had really happened to her, to her life. Sure, it could’ve happened to anyone, Carol scoffed, alien encounters of the sexual kind occur repeatedly. Next time I’m up to interview some tinfoily type at the NASA headquarters, I’ll definitely pay more attention!
Her experiences were certainly just the tip of the iceberg as far as the inexplicable phenomena were concerned. She had kept an open mind while under quenchless calibration and rapacious recharging, listening to Terezian tales and enduring seriously close shaves with Abby, Rindy and even with herself. Her chickens had been nearly squeezed to death, and now – now the fate of the entire planet depended on the unpredictable actions of three sex-starved astrobabes. I’d say we’re fucked – YET I AM NOT YET PROPERLY FUCKED AT ALL. And there it was, the root of her ill temper once again, she acknowledged begrudgingly. Sighing, she turned the car around hoping to find her companions where she’d left them. Yup, there they are looking lost and forlorn.
Getting back to their seats, no one uttered a word. Rindy and Harrison had ceased their hanky panky, and even Cantrell settled for mere handholding with Abby on the backseat. Only Belivet dared to gaze at Carol questioningly. Her brow crinkled, she looked concerned but none of it turned into a coherent thought Carol would’ve understood.
They checked into the Waldorf Astoria at 301 Park Avenue. “We might as well go extinct in style,” Abby justified her selection. “If the world comes to an end, at least there won’t be anyone to charge these suites on my credit card,” she quipped dryly. “And this is my way to thank you, Carol,” she said handing the keycard to one of the Towers Penthouse Suites to her, “for everything…” The way she wiggled her eyebrows made Carol somewhat uneasy.
“Listen,” Carol started taking command, “I think we should convene at our suite in an hour and go through the game plan – if we have one…” She cast a quizzical look at Belivet. “Abby, will you go and ask the concierge if he could come up with a 16 mm projector and a portable screen?” Her mind was set on finding out what the mysterious roll of film salvaged from Todd-1961 contained.
Once she’d close the door to their suite Carol sat down on the edge of the giant bed and drew a heavy breath. She was suddenly exhausted. Belivet was rummaging the canvas bag she’d confiscated from Cantrell but this time her interest wasn’t focused on the delectable dolphin – she was inspecting the swanky mink coat in minute detail. She spread the fur coat on the formal dining room table and examined it from every possible angle. Deep in thought, Belivet kept knocking the table top on different places stopping every once in a while to scratch her raven-haired head.
After a while she pulled a set of tools out of the metal case Cantrell had refused to open when first discovered. To Carol’s big surprise, Belivet put on a pair of leather gloves and a helmet with goggles attached. She started welding something in the corner of the dining room. I need a drink, Carol thought walking briskly over to the liquor cabinet. The fumes and the gases rising from Belivet’s mystery chore were already filling up the exquisitely furnished space.
“What’s going on in here?” Abby wondered when she and the others had joined Carol and Belivet in their suite.
“Beats me,” Carol scoffed sipping her rye. She was beyond even trying to guess what Belivet was up to. Besides she hasn’t even tried to cop a feel since we checked in.
Are you doing what I think you’re doing? Harrison mused to Belivet. She took a look at the scribblings Belivet had made on the notepad laid open next to the spread mink.
I think it’s about time, don’t you? Belivet admitted drawing Cantrell’s attention to her work as well. She examined the equation Belivet had written down:
F_r = (P=π_(r)(_1^2) - π_(r ) (_2^2) )= Pπ (r(_1^2)- r (_2^2))
That’s for the instroke, right? Cantrell asked narrowing her eyes.
Yes, Belivet nodded. Why take chances? She took the pad and explained it in detail. The resultant force, the radius of the piston here and the radius of the piston rod, of course… She noticed Harrison grinning madly.
Can we use it later on? Please, please, please? she appealed to Belivet enthusiastically. Now it was Cantrell’s turn to be amused.
You’ll have to check with her mother first, Belivet noted adamantly. And you would have to be supervised, of course. The final remark dampened Harrison’s spirit a bit but she looked hopeful nevertheless.
We’ll take it for a spin after you’ve secured it, Cantrell concluded, Abigail-2015 can certainly handle it just as well as yours does. Now their words caught the earthlings’ attention.
“What is this?” Carol demanded to know. She was still rattled by her earlier haphazard behavior and she wasn’t going to stomach any more unwelcome surprises.
Carol-2015, Belivet transmitted softly, do you trust me? She circled her arms around Carol’s waist and yanked her tightly against her groin.
Fuck. It was all Carol could think of after two days of dolphin deprivation. Sure. Whatever you say. Whatever the aliens were up to, the matter was promptly dropped for now.
The hotel concierge had performed a miracle and provided Abby with the desired equipment for what Carol assumed to be the quintessential Terezian home movie. At least there’s no NC-17 rating on the label, she nearly snorted opening the can and carefully threading the film on the projector. Carol had volunteered to operate the projector since she was the only one with real experience – she had screened films for her high school’s private film club that had specialized on the controversial Swedish movies of the 1960s. The hobby had in fact gotten her expelled several times yet it had done little to extinguish her love of “alternative cinema”.
The projector’s motor buzzing, the film flickered on the small screen. The image was a hazy black and white square, its corners round and out of focus. Hordes of gorgeous women in uniform paraded in the background of what looked like a modern urban milieu. Frankenburg, Belivet transmitted reverently. She, Cantrell and Harrison leaned in to get a closer look of their former home, the fabulous capital of Terez, 1952 lightyears from Earth.
Something resembling a large cushioned cauldron enough to contain at least a legion of women caught Carol’s eye. The melting pot. The camera panned the scenery drinking in the ornate yet somewhat pornographic details of the main gate of the renowned Smith High and its neighboring stores selling either spinach (“FDYGGDSG-R-US”) or eggs (“All You Can Eat Bhfrwds”). Seeing familiar faces walk by winking at the prying lens, Cantrell suppressed a sob.
That’s the Flounder Market, Belivet pointed at the far right corner of the screen. We used to hang out there every Wednesday to be picked up by our elders. Six women wearing similar see-through negligees with matching garter belts passed by. The Order of the Dolphin! Belivet enthused. I’m so glad some of them were immortalized on this film as well.
Next the camera moved indoors to what appeared to be an administrative building. Belivet, Cantrell and Harrison leapt up to salute the prestigious Pleasure Palace, the awe inspiring home office of Sister Alicia.
Good God, do we get to see her in person? raced through Carol’s feverish mind much faster than the 24 frames per second unfolding before her very eyes. The airy corridors seemed to go on forever and the women grow more beautiful, the closer the camera crew got to Sister Alicia’s inner sanctum.
The main gate is actually a relatively small and inconspicuous entrance if you compare it to the atrium you just saw, Belivet explained excitedly. We had a special word for it in Terezian, we called it the perineum. Hearing this, Abby chortled nervously earning a disapproving poke between the ribs from Cantrell.
Finally the main corridor came to its end bulging out to form a soft ellipse. In the middle a set of steep stairs led underground, to the private chambers of the High Commander. For a moment or two they could hardly see anything, only a faint flicker of purple light reflected through soft shrouds strategically slowing down the crew’s descent.
The camera seemed to arrow through the air as it penetrated the last obstacle on its way. The portal of the palatial parlor must have flown open for the screen was suddenly flooded with light and a luminous figure even the earthlings knew to be the fabled Sister Alicia.
When she turned around to face the camera both Abby and Rindy drew an astonished breath. Neither of them could however utter a word for the time being. Sister Alicia’s serene, magnificent face filled the frame as she started to speak.
My sisters, my faithful ones –
If you see this, our civilization has ceased to exist and you are all that remains of the desirous dominion of Terez. My rule has ended and it is up to you to choose my successor and start anew according to the teachings of the revered Chronicles.
Before this you will have to avenge the demise of your beloved nation by luring our eternal nemesis, the filthy Dickheads, to their rendezvous with perdition. You will succeed in only one way – by burying their smug faces under piles of rubble.
Sister Alicia who had accentuated her grief-stricken words with forceful gesturing grew calm once more.
I believe in you, and with this unwavering conviction I leave you. Stay satisfied, my brave ones.
Her luscious smile lingered on the frame for a second or two more before the image faded into nothingness. Sister Alicia had spoken.
Visibly shaken, Belivet, Cantrell and Harrison collapsed on the couch. The majestic moment had drained them of all energy. Switching off the projector, Carol became aware of Abby’s and Rindy’s mounting confusion. “What the hell is the matter with you two?” she whispered to them impatiently. Her daughter and her best friend stared at her in utter disbelief.
"Are you shitting me, Carol?” Abby questioned her eyes wide open.
“Come on, Mom,” Rindy pleaded, “You saw it yourself, admit it.”
Nonplussed, Carol stared at the two of them wondering if they’d lost their mind completely. Anything can happen during this trip. “Saw what?” she questioned hastily.
“For fuck’s sake, Carol,” Abby nearly exclaimed. “Sister Alicia is a spitting image of you!”