Dr. Jillian Holtzmann lives her life by two philosophies:
1) Work hard, play hard, flirt hard (not necessarily in that order) and
2) Everything has worth
The second one is what drives her to save every single piece of scrap metal and every spare part she comes across. You never know when something is going to come in handy. She collects and collects, and stores and stores, until you’d think she was a hoarder if you didn’t know she was an engineer. Sometimes Abby will bob around the second floor lab, cleaning, and she’ll accidentally throw out something that looks like nothing, and Holtzmann will get upset because everything is important and has worth.
This philosophy extends to people, too. She’s always been really good at making people feel important. She makes direct eye contact when someone’s speaking, because it’s the most basic sign of respect in her opinion. She listens to what everyone has to say, and she validates the hell out of them and their ideas.
Especially Erin.
Beautiful, brilliant Erin, who was dealt a crap hand when it comes to parents, and childhood, and life in general. Erin, who spent the most formative years of her life being told that she was ridiculous, and crazy, and stupid. Erin, who spent the rest of her life doubting herself and trying to prove herself to everyone with every breath she took.
Holtz goes out of her way to make Erin feel special. She’s not sure why she feels such a need to validate Erin, but she does. She calls her a genius on a daily basis. She gives her first pick of weapons. She high-fives her after every bust and compliments the job she did. She asks her about her day. She brings up things that Erin told her in the past, as a way of showing that she listened. She makes sure to go to Erin before anyone else when she needs a second opinion on the logistics of whatever it is that she’s working on.
One day that’s what she does—she hit a wall with the ambitious ghost net she’s trying to build, and she needs Erin’s keen eye and brilliant brain—and when Erin pinpoints the solution after an hour, Holtz kisses her. She didn’t even mean to. It was an automatic reaction. She doesn’t even realize the mistake until she sees Erin’s stunned face and realizes what she just did. She starts to apologize, but she’s cut off by Erin furiously meeting her lips again with an intensity that she would never have expected from Erin.
A few days later, when they tell Patty and Abby that they’re dating, the other ghostbusters give them looks that very clearly say Duh? Haven’t you been for months?
They balance each other out perfectly. It’s like they were made to be together. Holtzmann is the most confident woman on the planet, and Erin is the least. Holtz continues to pump up Erin’s ego, and Erin reciprocates by deflating Holtz’ when she’s being too cocky and grating on people’s nerves.
They wait a long time before they sleep together for the first time. Holtz can tell Erin’s nervous about it, and she’s in no hurry. When they finally do, Erin is self-conscious about her body, but Holtz has never seen anyone so beautiful in her life and she makes sure to tell Erin at least two dozen times during the night. Erin fumbles and worries aloud if she’s doing okay, if she’s doing it right, and Holtz assures her that she’s doing perfectly. They fall asleep afterwards, or at least Erin does. Holtz holds her in her arms and whispers compliments and praise into Erin’s ear so her subconscious mind will absorb them as she sleeps.
Time wears on, and Holtz can tell that Erin doubts Holtz’ love for her. Erin doesn’t believe that someone like Holtz could love someone like her. She says this like she’s nothing, and Holtz growls in her ear that there’s no one in the world that is as worthy of Holtz’ love as Erin is. She makes a point of saying it dozens of times in a day. It’s almost comical, how many times a day she tells Erin that she loves her. When that doesn’t seem to be enough to soothe Erin’s anxiety, she goes to great lengths to prove it with elaborate spectacles and gifts.
They pass their first anniversary. Their second. They’ve been together for over two years, and Erin still doesn’t quite believe it. Sometimes she’ll wonder aloud if this is real when they’re curled up in bed at the apartment they share, just as Holtz is nearly asleep, and she’ll wipe the sleep from her eyes and make sure to reassure Erin before she even thinks about drifting off.
Holtz goes and picks out a ring. Maybe that will make Erin see how important she is. She’s known that she wants to spend the rest of her life with Erin since a few months into their relationship. She had planned to make it a spectacle, the proposal, but at the last minute she throws aside her plans. She wants to show Erin that she takes this seriously. She takes a page out of Erin’s book and is all nerves and anxiety as she gets down on one knee in the lab, right where they shared their first kiss.
And Erin, well, she’s never sounded more confident than when she says yes.