Why Did I Drink That?

Wynonna learned from a young age that it was possible to repress a trauma. She learned a few years down the line that with enough pressure building, nothing really stays buried. So after she shot her long-lost-recently-recovered sister, an old wound was violently ripped wide open, and left her agape, spilling every negative emotion out from within.

Wynonna's muscles were sore from being wound tightly with anxiety. Having a gun pointed at you by your sister, and then said sister pulling the trigger could bring about some panic. Seems like I got even though. Wynonna shook the thought away with a shiver. Doc mistook the act as a sign of being freezing, so he gathered her deeper into his arms. Wynonna didn't have enough energy (physical, mental, or emotional) to tell him otherwise, but she did sport a small smile when he placed his hat on her head.

"I'm shocked that you've parted with your hat." she quipped with little emotion. "Isn't it like your true love or something?"

"By all means does this hat mean a great deal to me, yes, but I have found it to be just that: a hat." Doc countered while rubbing her arms to gather heat.

"Woah there, Doc Seuss, that's enough rhyming for me in one sitting."

She felt, rather than heard, his laughter from against his chest. She felt warm and safe in his arms, but one thought was enough to pull free from his grasp and look around as if afraid to be caught. Dolls was looking off beyond the line at where the snake-like creature was just annihilated, but by the tautness of his shoulders, she could tell he saw everything.

Meanwhile, Doc's mustache twitched as he gazed between the two BBD agents. He walked up on the two having a moment at the party, and then everything made sense: the reluctance to put a name to the thing between the two of them; the refusal to really speak about what happened; the way she moved closer to Dolls than to him whenever the three were around each other.

It all clicked, and it wasn't a great feeling at all. But it wasn't the time to dwell on such things, what with the woman who holds your affection's sister was just gunned down by said woman. So if all Wynonna wanted was a pair of arms and stylish hat, then that was what he'd give her. Right now wasn't about him, and all his years had taught him to be the perfect gentleman.

And a perfect gentleman he shall be. Wynonna's world just fell apart for about the third time in her lifetime before all of their eyes, and a group of professionally dressed people shuffled off with Dolls and Bobo. Everything was falling apart to where even he himself didn't know what to do, but he was sure that once everyone had a collected head, and they reunited with the very much intelligent Waverly Earp, they could figure anything out.

Speaking of Waverly... Miss Haught!

...

To put it plainly, Nicole's entire body felt like she had run a marathon. She felt an exhaustion that struck deep down to her bones. But that was alright, honestly... She'd do it again if it meant she could look across at a smiling Waverly. They were in bed together, but it was silent. No words were needed as they just stared deeply at each other. Waverly's fingers were running gently up and down her arm, which Nicole found ticklish.

"I could stay here forever you know." Nicole remarked with a grin.

Waverly responded with a gentle smile as her fingers moved up to stroke her face.

"I know you could... I could, too." she whispered quietly.

"Why don't we? I could totally call in sick!" the officer insisted with a chuckle.

"We can't," Waverly said, melancholy clear on her face. Nicole furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

"Why not? You want to, I want to... I say yes, why won't you say yes?"

"Because I love you."

The air in Nicole's lungs evaporated at the sentence. They never said those words to each other yet, but it certainly had an affect on her. Nicole's cheeks were about as red as her hair, and her heartbeat was so loud, she was sure that Waverly could hear it, and she did. Waverly giggled as she placed her hand right over the beating heart to feel it beneath her palm.

After a moment, she replaced her hand with her head so she could hear it up close. When she seemed satisfied, Waverly replaced her ear with her lips, and she kissed Nicole right over her heart, and she was positive she was about to have a heart attack.

"I-I love you, too." whispered Nicole.

Her girlfriend's face was hovering over hers in a second, and her long brunette hair formed a curtain around their faces. Waverly's eyes were shining so bright as they gazed at each other. The strong heartbeat was still pounding loudly in their ears, and it only grew louder as the shorter woman moved closer and closer until their lips were barely touching.

"That's great, but you can't leave me." Waverly said urgently. The change of tone threw Nicole into a loop.

"What?"

"Please! Don't leave me!" pleaded Waverly tearfully.

"Baby, I'm right here." Nicole said while grabbing her hands. "See? Feel my heartbeat?" There was no beat whatsoever.

Nicole stared down at where Waverly's hand was. There was a heartbeat pounding in her ears, but there was no feeling under her palm. It was perplexing considering there was one just a second ago. The fear on Waverly's face was soon mirrored on her own.

"I just got you... You can't go yet!" sobbed Waverly.

"I'm not trying to!" Nicole shouted hysterically. "Please, help!"

"I love you."

Waverly said the same sentiment she said a moment ago, but it was much quieter this time around. It sounded far off like it was a whisper. There were no more words, but the dreadful sobbing still rung in her ears. Nicole could tell it was Waverly's, and she wanted so badly to get her to stop. It was breaking her un-beating heart to hear her so broken, but found herself unable to do anything.

There was a sudden pressure pushing on her chest, but Waverly had hopped off of her to go cry in another room. She swatted away all her advances, making it clear she didn't want to be followed. So when she glanced down, there was nothing there. The pressure suddenly ceased, but before she could sigh in relief, it felt like she took in a deep breath.

Her lungs were expanding too much for her to take, so she began coughing and gagging. It was suddenly too bright to see, but it didn't matter anyway, the tears blocked her vision. The heartbeat was much louder, and it was just about the only thing she could hear at all. It felt like her head was leaning against a soft pillow... or two, very soft pillows. When Nicole could see again, she craned her neck over, and found her face to be nuzzled up against a certain someone's chest.

"Uh..." murmured Nicole in shock, but she couldn't bring herself to pull away... because of the pain of course! Yeah.

"Nicole!" Waverly shrieked tearfully, pulling Nicole away to get a clear look at her face.

The officer took the advantage to look up at Waverly while the smaller woman examined her. Waverly's eyes were bloodshot, and it was from a mixture of tiredness and tears. There were tear tracks lining down her relieved-looking face. Nicole wondered briefly how long she was passed out, but all thoughts flew out the door when Waverly attacked her lips with her own.

"Missed me?" Nicole joked innocently, but there was concern underlining her tone.

"You were dead, Nicole!" snapped Waverly, who was soon brought into a hysterical fit.

Nicole tensed. That was the second time in her life that she technically died, and that's one too many times a human should die. Purgatory sure had its problems, and now it was causing Nicole problems. Mostly health problems! It took everything in her to make the phone call to notify her family that she was pronounced dead the first time, and Nicole was sure that it would kill her mom to hear about it a second time.

She could still hear her mom lecturing her that moving to Purgatory would be a mistake, and when Nicole came to her senses, she'd always have a place to come back to. But Nicole would rather die a third time than withstand the I-told-you-so's that would surely be thrown her way in every conversation. You want me to pass the salt? Why don't you ask your Purgatory friends to pass the salt? Wait, they aren't here, here you are, dear.

"Whatever you do, please don't tell my mom." pleaded Nicole as if she were afraid to be scolded.

Waverly stopped crying, and just stared at her. After a minute of exasperated stares, Waverly gently helped Nicole to her feet despite the hisses and moans of agony. She just pulled the officer closer after she swung Nicole's arm around her shoulder. Waverly buried herself into her girlfriend's side. She wasn't able to comfort her earlier, and it was killing her, but she was capable now, and she was taking full advantage.

Because helping Nicole was highly therapeutic for herself as well. She was still a reeling mess from her talk with Bobo, but if anything felt right and real, it was the woman who was limping beside her. Nicole grounded her when things were becoming too much, or if she was in over her head about something, and Nicole was always there with open arms and a bottle of something strong.

Nicole never knew what the exact problem was because Waverly never spilled the Earp's big secret. Everyone in town avoided her and Wynonna like the plague, and teased and taunted her throughout her life, so her initial reaction to telling the secret about revenants and the curse was a no-go. Nicole was much too precious and special to send away, and the thing between them was still so new.

But now, everything changed. Nicole knew the fundamentals of what was happening in Purgatory, and Waverly now knew why she could never be the heir. The thought sent a bolt of depression through her chest, and she tightened her hold around the officer's waist. Waverly really rubbed off onto Nicole because just like her girlfriend, the officer could now tell when something was bothering the smaller woman.

Despite the protests, Nicole changed the course they were on, and moved them back into Nedley's office. Waverly wasn't happy to be back on the couch when Nicole was dead just a few minutes before and was still dying, but Nicole wasn't going to cure herself until she knew what was haunting Waverly's beautiful mind.

"There's something going on in that great, big brain of yours, and I'm not leaving this office until you tell me what's bothering you." Nicole stated, leaving no room for argument, but leave it to Waverly to argue nevertheless.

"You're insane! I found you dead on the floor! You're still dying!" Waverly shouted back, her anger and panic getting the best of her.

"I don't care." Nicole countered with a shrug that sent ripples of pain down her spine. "I know that right now is probably the best time to talk about this while there won't be any interruptions from your sister or Nedley."

"Chrissy!" Waverly shouted in surprise, she forgot all about her.

"Don't worry, the sheriff already came to collect his daughter, and he insisted on helping me out of here, but I was in too much pain to move." Nicole assured, but it didn't nothing to assuage Waverly's fear.

"See?!" Waverly screamed. "We don't have time for this!"

"Well just tell me what's wrong!"

"Why do you even care so much? You found out about the curse! Why aren't you halfway gone yet?" Waverly finished in a sob, and buried her face in her hands.

Nicole didn't have a comeback straight away. She gawked at the crying woman who was curling into herself more and more as the seconds ticked away. Tentatively, Nicole shuffled over, sat beside her, and tried to take Waverly into her arms. But Waverly didn't feel like being comforted, so she ripped away from the contact, not caring about the noise of disapproval that came from Nicole.

"You wanna know why I'm not gone yet?" Nicole questioned rhetorically. "Because my body won't let me."

"Great, so once you're healed, you'll hit the road." squeaked Waverly, her heart dropping into her stomach like a pound of coal.

"Not even then will I leave, Waves... My heart wouldn't let me leave either."

Waverly snapped her head over to Nicole to find nothing but sincerity written all over her face. It vaguely reminded her of Bobo when he told her she wasn't an Earp, but this was different. Bobo meant his words to destroy her, but Nicole was putting herself out there with the risk of destroying herself.  Waverly fell even more in love with the other woman.

"Why is that, Nicole Haught?"

"Because I'm too in love with you, Waverly Earp."

The use of the word Earp was enough to somewhat dim the sentiment. It filled her heart with warmth, but it also punched her in the gut. She pulled away from Nicole, and strode across the room to get away. Nicole's face crumpled, and she was mentally kicking herself repeatedly. She knew it was too soon, but she had hoped that it would make Waverly see that she was in for the long haul.

It only sent Waverly away, and she should have seen that as a possibility, and she did, oh how she saw that indeed, but despite the fear she felt, she thought that there was a small chance that Waverly felt the same. She thought that she heard Waverly say it before to Wynonna, but that might have been a dream she concocted in her rattled mind at the time.

"I see... It was too soon, I know..." said Nicole tonelessly. Waverly whirled around, and gasped at the hurt that was clear as day on her girlfriend's face.

"No!" Waverly had to fix this. "No, that wasn't it! I love you, too!"

"I- huh?"

"I love you more than I've loved anyone before, but things are different. I'M different." Waverly more or less pleaded.

"You're still Waverly to me." insisted Nicole with a sweet smile that had traces of a grimace. They had to get her to the antidote at Shorty's now.

"Okay, I'm still Waverly, and as Waverly, I order you to get your cute butt up so we can get you to Shorty's." she demanded quickly.

Nicole sighed heavily, but eventually gave in. The couple was on their feet and out the station door, and Nicole was already dreading the walk that it would take to reach the bar. Waverly rubbed soothing circles on her back while whispering sweet nothings into her ear as she guided her along. Nicole allowed herself to be led as she studied Waverly. Something was off, but she clearly wasn't ready to talk about it, so Nicole wouldn't push her to reveal something she wasn't ready for, but it had something to do with being a different person apparently, so she pulled Waverly to a stop before planting a kiss onto her lips.

"Just so you know, no matter who you are, or believe you aren't, you'll always be my Waverly, and I wouldn't ask you to be anyone else." Nicole insisted seriously.

And as easily as she built her walls up, they came crashing down, and Waverly had silent tears streaming down her cheeks as she nodded. She buried her head into the crook of Nicole's neck, and continued the trek towards Shorty's. She might not be an Earp, but she'd always be Waverly... At least in Nicole's eyes. And in that moment, that was all that really mattered. She'd deal with Wynonna at a later time, but the woman who made her feel so loved was dying at the moment, and she had to save her.