For I Never Meant To Betray You (Ryoma/Azura)
Ryoma remembers Azura's arrival at Hoshido all too clearly, almost as if it was yesterday.
Yukimura and Reina had brought a crying, trembling mess of blue hair and white fabrics holding onto a pendant for her dear life before his mother and himself. Ryoma recalls helping Mikoto calm the little girl down, holding her hand, assuring her that she was safe, that they would not harm her, that everything would be over soon. He recalls the first time those golden eyes, shining the like the sun, finally found the courage to look up at him.
The betrayal that dulled those beautiful eyes when notices came that Azura's country had abandoned her still haunted Ryoma. To be meet with that same empty stare again directed at him after so many years, after so many promises that he would never do the same thing and turn his back on her hurt like a death blow. But he felt betrayed too, watching Azura leave with Corrin without a second thought.
For weeks on end, Ryoma hopes the two of them would come to their senses, come back to fight beside the family that cared for them so much. For weeks on end, Ryoma dreams of Azura, of all the time they expended together, of all the love they swore to each other.
He dreamed of the sunny springs when they would watch the cherry blossoms, of those summer festivals in which Azura would attempt to teach Ryoma to dance. The thoughts of that autumn when they shared their first kiss, hidden in the stables, scared that they would be found followed him everywhere. The memories of that winter night, they first shared together, kept him awoke. That was also the first time Azura dared to show him her scar, that awful remark of the abuse she was forced to endure in Nohr. Ryoma had promised Azura that night that she would never have to go trough that again, that she would never be alone, that he would bring those that tortured her to justice if he ever had the chance. All those words turned out lies now.
Battle after battle Ryoma tried to convince himself that his love had turned to hatred, that he would be able to raise his blade against Azura if the situation demanded it, for the well-being of his country was above everyone and anything he could wish. But there he spots Azura entering Nestra’s main square, there she spots her from afar with Corrin and Takumi and Sakura and his retainers, and his resolve leaves his side.
Maybe he should try to listen, maybe he should have faith for her, in her.
Maybe he should’ve listened before, for everything Azura told them was true.
When they arrive in Valla Ryoma feels like an idiot. He had committed a nigh irreparable mistake. But maybe there still was something he could do, before it truly was too late, before either of them disappeared. He just had to try.
"Azura!"
The songstress pretends not to hear, keeps walking in the other direction. Ryoma approaches her before she can get much far, grabs her hand to catch her attention.
"Azura, I beg you, give me an opportunity to speak–"
"Give you an opportunity?” Azura takes her hand back and turns to face Ryoma, anger in her gaze. “You refused to hear us and were quick to brand you own brother a traitor!”
"I–" A knot forms in Ryoma’s throat. What Azura said was true.
“Don’t misunderstand me, I’m happy that you’re finally here supporting us, but, do you know everything we’ve faced alone? Do you know how I felt when you turned your back on me after you swore you never would?”
Ryoma hangs his head, still fumbling for words. Probably nothing he could say would be enough to justify himself, but back then, he had had his reasons. "You're right. I was a fool for not trusting Corrin, for not trusting you both earlier, but you have to understand, what was I supposed to think after he denied us and fell one of our commanders? Hoshido had just lost it's Queen, I couldn't allow our kingdom to fall with her, I had to make a stand even if it meant–” He hangs his head, the mere thought of being forced to slay that who he loved the most painful. “I don't think I would have had the heart to harm you. If something happened to you, I don’t know what I would do. I would rather–."
"Ryoma, please, don't say that,” the anger fades from her eyes, “I would never be able to bring any harm to you either... I must admit I've been unfair as well. I understand everything you say, expecting Xander and you to believe in such an outrageous thing as an invisible enemy when the situation was so tense was foolish of me. In a way, it was my fault that Corrin chose to walk the hardest path, but still– I would have like it if you could have believed in me."
“I know, and for that, I apologize,” Ryoma raises his head slowly, his stare solemn and his voice sincere, “I don’t know who I’m going to redeem myself, and I’ll understand if you can’t find it in your heart to forgive me, but I want you to know that no matter what I’ll always protect you, and that from this moment on, I will never doubt you again. It’s not a promise, I will do it, because– Because I love you, I never stopped loving you.”
“Ryoma...” gentle hands cup his face, “I’ve never stopped loving you, either, I couldn’t.”
“Azura...”
Azura leans to give Ryoma a chaste kiss. “I forgive you, if you forgive me too, for being so harsh. I should’ve understood your position better.”
Ryoma lays his hands over Azura’s, a small smile appearing on his face. “Of course, of course, I forgive you.”
So long Ryoma yearned to hold Azura in his arms again, so long he feared things would come to worst. But from now on, he would never let her side, from now on, the would not have to hide, for once the war was over and he ascended to the throne, Ryoma would make Azura his queen.