Please don't shock me like this ever again
Clarke <3: Hey Lex, im out with O n Raven rn but just text me whenever if u need anything <3
Heda Lexa: Hi Clarke. No worries. I'll just head on over to your place and hang with Papa G for now.
Clarke <3: Oh babe! The wifi is down so just a heads up. love ya!
Heda Lexa: Noted. Love you too.
~
A weekly habit, spending time with Jake while waiting for their blonde angel to return, Lexa has almost considered it tradition.
As she stepped up to the doorstep, fiddling with her phone, Lexa notices the signal bar drop. But their neighbourhood has been experiencing connection difficulties lately, and so she shrugs it off. Jake iss there after all, ready with his books and knowledge.
"Hey Papa," she greets, quiet as always, meeting Jake with a quick hug before being tugged into the house by the man.
"Eyyy squirt, Clarke's not home yet. And the wifi is down. I'm sad."
Quickly settling down in the reading room, one hand holding chocolate and the other a book, the both of them were snuggled on arm chairs. The peak of winter quickly approaches and with the fireplace roaring, the atmosphere is warm and snug. By the window, tea is steeping, and Lexa is content. Her official one year anniversary with Clarke is arriving soon and Lexa is content. Her family is happy and healthy and Lexa is content. Glancing at Jake, their eyes meet and he shoots her a grin that she returns. Winking, he pulls off one of his socks and throws it at her, missing terribly.
Yes, Lexa is more than content.
In the midst of reading, her phone buzzes, and Lexa jolts. Buried deep under blankets, the phone is about to transfer to voicemail when Lexa picks it up.
"Hey," Clarke is breathless, and Lexa can almost see her girlfriend. Rosy cheeks and snowflakes sticking to her eyelashes, pretty as ever. The signal is fuzzy, and Lexa has to concentrate to understand, as the sound drifts in and out. "Whatcha up to?"
"Just reading. Why?"
"Nothing much. Listen," she says, solemn, "we have to talk. Later." Giggles flow through from around Clarke and Lexa is confused.
Immediately, Lexa straightens. Did she do something wrong? Jake perks, and she avoids his worried eyes. Something is wrong.
Barely a whisper slips from her mouth, and she voices her assent before Clarke tells her she has to go, and that she'll see her later. Seconds later, her phone buzzes again.
Clarke <3: img.32731
Clarke <3: im leaving you i found someone else
The image wouldn't load, and Lexa doesn't understand what just happened. She doesn't understand why and how her world just ended. Her phone slips from her grip and bounces on the carpet. Everything is too tight and small and Lexa can't breathe. Clarke is leaving her. Clarke doesn't want her anymore.
She vaguely realises that she is hyperventilating, but everything is turning numb. Jake appears in her line of sight but nothing is clear. Her head is swimming. She can see him speaking but her ears are ringing and nothing makes sense.
Abruptly, she stands.
"I just-I," she can't feel her lips anymore. "Maybe I should-I'm just going to go." Everything scatters to the ground, and Lexa stumbles, emotions held together with spit and tape. She just needs to make it home. Into her own bed. Only then can she break.
It's too late. Jake pulls her into a hug and Lexa shatters. Deep down she hates herself for being so weak, but she's always been weak for her girlfr-Clarke. Jake doesn't prod, he doesn't push. He simply gathers her shaking body into his arms and focuses on calming her down, lowering them both to the floor, cradling her like he did when she was a child, like she is fragile and is the world. Lexa doesn't know if she wants him to understand that his daughter just shattered her, just destroyed her world with simple words. A sixteen year old murderer. Clarke, Lexa internally laughs, really commands death. Because what use is there to life without Clarke. It's bitter and sour and it hurts.
It's quite awkward. Lexa is lanky and all bones, jerky and pressed against Jake's fatherly embrace. He is humming something she remembers from her childhood - Clarke's favourite lullaby. Clarke hums it when stress and anxiety envelopes Lexa.
Moments pass before he prompts her. And with shaky breaths she tries her hardest to explain, before giving up and searches for her phone. Fumbling, trembling, Lexa ignores the miss calls from Clarke and shows Jake the messages. Just seeing the words triggers more tears but Jake hushes her.
"There must be an explanation, kid," he says, "our Clarke wouldn't do that. She loves you."
She struggles to pull air into her lungs, but Jake helps, and in that moment her phone rings. The vibrations are harsh in the silence, Lexa just stares at it despondently, and Jake picks it up. "Hello?"
"Hey babe," Clarke's voice is crackly but bright. "Babe? Are you there?" There is more crackling and Jake deposits her on the arm chair closest to the fireplace, before slipping out of the room. She can hear his voice travel across the house, but it's muffled and Lexa tunes it out, curling up into herself.
The last thing she hears is quiet laughter and sniffling before black coats her vision and numbs her consciousness.
~
When Lexa comes to, she feels a familiar figure curled up by her side. It's a heady feeling, snug and warm, and tight - because armchairs are not meant to be used for naps for two. For a second she doesn't remember and everything is fine. The figure stirs, and Lexa stiffens. Quickly, she attempts to stand, but the figure tightens their embrace. It's a slow shift, and when Lexa is turned towards Clarke, it feels like first times and beginnings. And endings. Clarke's smile is subtle, and guilty, and her hand unconsciously reaches up to traces Clarke's features, stopping on the beauty mark just above her lip. This action prompts a quirk of her lips and everything is so soft.
Her throat is dry and lips are cracked, but still Lexa needs to know. She whispers a "Hey..." and watches Clarke's expression dip into a tiny frown.
"Before you say anything I need to tell you that I'm really sorry and like," Clarke speaks quickly. She looks like she's on the brink of laughter, or anger, or a breakdown. Or maybe it's Lexa.
"Like. I love you, okay? I love you so much but I hate you, like. Right now. You could have called me. Heck, you could have texted back. I thought it was hilarious when I sent that photo. Do you know how embarrass and guilty I felt when dad picked up the phone and told me you broke down?" Clarke's breathing is harsh, and Lexa is only slightly confused. Clarke's trembling lips makes her want to kiss her and Lexa's brain is slow after naps.
"I'm... sorry?" she mumbles, too enraptured by the movement of colours of Clarke's eyes. It's stormy and a total contrast from the happy golden of Clarke's hair.
A watery giggle tumbles from Clarke's lips and their faces are so close together. So close. Clarke is so pretty, even when she's upset.
"Baby, no. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." From her periphery, she sees Clarke pull up an image on her phone, shoving it right in her face. When her eyes manage to focus, Lexa sees a pixelated Clarke hugging what seems to be a giant pack of pop-tarts. "Look."
Oh.
"Oh."
"Oh," Clarke mirrors.
Her chest feels significantly lighter. But she's still sleepy, and so, this time with less hesitation, Lexa snuggles into her girlfriend. She feels Clarke brushing her lips on her forehead as she buries her face in Clarke's neck. Everything is soft.
"Please don't shock me like this ever again." Her command is an attempted seriousness, but Lexa is too light, and it comes out as muffled laughter.
"Sha, heda."
~
After their nap, they awaken to Jake's eager expression, and after a quick explanation, he simply chortles and ruffles their hair. Abby is slightly less amused.