Across The Hall

Christen spends the remainder of her weekend shut up in her room, only leaving to eat and use the bathroom. Ever since Friday night, her mind has been spiraling in a cloud of hopelessness and she’s felt nothing but nauseous. She can’t seem to shake the memory of her last interaction with Tobin as is it plays over and over in her head. She’s in an impossible situation and she can’t figure out a way to fix it.

Now as she lays on her bed, just as she’s done for the last 48 hours, Christen succumbs to her out-of-control thoughts. What do I do? How do I figure this out? What happened the other night with Tobin nearly messed everything up. I wanted to kiss her. I can’t believe I wanted to kiss her, I’ve only known her for a short while. But I wanted to kiss her just as bad as I’ve ever wanted to kiss anybody. And we almost did! Oh god…we almost did. That would’ve been so bad! We could’ve kissed, and she could’ve hated it. Or I could’ve hated it…Ok, I definitely wouldn’t have hated it, but that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t have. And then what? Things would be unbearably awkward every time we see each other? She tells everyone and then I become the floor laughing stock? The floor floozy? The girl who so easy became infatuated with another girl she had only known for three days?! How pathetic. I’m pathetic. What do I do?

As Christen buries her face in her pillow, Kelley comes barging into the room.

“Roomie, I’m hooome!” She sings as she tosses her duffel bag to the floor. Christen lifts her head from the pillow slightly and briefly flashes her distressed face to acknowledge her roommate’s return after a weekend away. The excited smile on Kelley’s face fades and morphs into a look of confusion.

“Not a fan of ‘I Love Lucy’?” she asks as she reaches down for her duffle and drags it over to her dresser. Christen just gives her the same pitiful expression, as it is the only one her face can muster.

“Are you alright? You look like you’re going to throw up or something” Kelley notes with concern as she unzips her bags and begins emptying its contents back into her dresser drawers. Christen shakes her head. “Well, if you are going to throw up, keep it on your side of the room please.” Christen drops her head back to her pillow and exhales loudly.

“I’m not going to throw up” Christen mumbles into the squishy surface beneath her face. Kelley stops her unpacking and turns to face Christen. Her roommate’s sudden lack of a sarcastic comeback is enough to cause Kelley to worry.

“Hey, seriously, what’s up with you?” Kelley questions, a little more gently than before. Christen rolls from laying on her side to flat on her back.

“Nothing” she lies in an extremely monotone fashion.

“Alright, cut the crap, Pressy. Tell me what’s bothering you” Kelley demands as she crosses her arms over her chest and intensely stares Christen down.

“I don’t wanna talk about it” Christen admits as she stares absentmindedly at the popcorn ceiling above her. Her eyes wonder from one chip in the paint to another. Kelley takes a seat on her bed, not breaking her powerful gaze for a second.

“Well it seems like you need to, so spill” Kelley informs, “And I’m not going to take no for an answer either. We live in the same tiny room so there’s no avoiding me. I’m going to find out eventually so you may as well get it over with now.” Christen takes a deep breath before turning back on her side and facing Kelley.

“It’s embarrassing” Christen whines.

“I’m the queen of embarrassing” Kelley quickly counters, “Hit me with whatever you’ve got.” Christen sighs again for what seems to be the hundredth time today.

“I’m kind of in the middle of a messed up situation” Christen finally states as she reluctantly looks over to her roommate.

“Details. I need details” Kelley declares as she moves her hand in a circular motion, signaling Christen to continue.

“I sort of… almost… kissed someone” Christen shyly confesses.

“Was she hot?” Kelley immediately asks with zero hesitation, “Sorry. That’s irrelevant. Go on.” Of course that’s the first thing to pop into her mind.

“Well” Christen drags out, “It was Tobin.” Why did it have to be Tobin? Why did it have to be my neighbor? Kelley shoots her a look of misunderstanding.

“Who’s Tobin?” she asks as her eyebrows furrow. She doesn’t know Tobin?! How can she not?

“The girl who lives directly across the hall from us. Long, hazel-brown hair. Warm, inviting chocolatey eyes. That girl” Christen explains. The image of Tobin in her head both causes her to feel butterflies in her stomach and tightness in her chest.

“Oh, that girl!” Kelley energetically exclaims, seeming to recognize the girl Christen is describing. “Yeah, I’ve seen her around. She’s a total stud!”

“Yep, and I almost kissed her so…” Christen tiredly confirms.

“Oh man, I still can’t believe you almost kissed her!” Kelley yells, still stuck in excited disbelief. “I mean, not anything against you, you’re an attractive girl. But wow, her?! My roommate must have some real game. I’m so proud of you, kid!” She cannot be any more wrong about my game.It’s been nonexistent as of late.

“You’re missing the point!” Christen groans dejectedly.

“What is the point?” Kelley asks, a proud smile still prominent on her face. “You almost kissed a really hot girl, most people would be out of their minds about that. I don’t see the problem here.” You don’t see the problem here?! You seriously don’t see the problem here?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

“She lives across the hall, Kelley!” Christen booms, “Right outside our door!” Kelley flinches at Christen’s sudden outburst. She wasn’t expecting her roommate to spontaneously explode like that.

“Yeah, so?” Kelley requests clarification while shaking her head. Christen huffs as she drops her head to her pillow again. Do I have to spell it out for her? When she calms down a bit, Christen picks up her head and looks over to Kelley once more.

“So I just blurred the lines of our relationship and I can’t think of any way to not make things worse when I’m guaranteed to see her all the time” Christen woefully admits, the sick feeling in her stomach reappearing at full force. Kelley just chuckles at Christen’s pessimistic attitude. “Why are you laughing?”

“You worry too much” Kelley simply states as she rests her hands on her knees.

“What are you talking about?” Christen demands. Kelley sighs before explaining.

“There’s a simple solution to your so-called ‘problem’ ” Kelley responds as if the answers is crystal clear. Simple solution? How can such a complex dilemma have a simple solution? I’ve been over every possible scenario in my head and I haven’t come up with one that would make things better in any way. What kind of an idea could she have that I haven’t already considered?

“Try me” Christen doubtfully challenges. Kelley looks over both of her shoulders dramatically before leaning forward, closer to Christen.

“Just avoid her” Kelley whispers before sitting back up while sporting a smug grin. Avoid her? In all of Christen’s worrying and strategizing, the thought of avoiding Tobin never crossed her mind. Not once. It seemed like such a foreign concept to the girl, like it wasn’t even an option. Except it was, and it still is.

“Just avoid her?” Christen repeats, still not be able to fully fathom the idea.

“Yep” Kelley nods, “Just keep your distance for a little while and this will all blow over in no time.”

“How am I supposed to do that?” Christen questions, “Like I said, she lives just a few yards away. And we have a class together, it’s not like I can skip every week.”

“That’s not what I mean” Kelley explains with a dismissive wave of her hand. “What I’m say is, be distant. Yeah, you’re going to see her, that’s a given. But when you do, be aloof, indifferent even. Don’t give her anything to build off of. If she tries to flirt, change the subject. If she’s overly friendly, be blunt and leave the situation. Things can’t get awkward if you don’t let the relationship progress.” Christen slowly nods her head along to Kelley’s plan. “Treat this situation like a fire. If you want it to die, take away its oxygen and kindling. Starve it out.”

“So you’re telling me to cut Tobin off completely?” Christen weakly asks. Can I even do that?

“I’m telling you to set limitations” Kelley corrects. A feeling of relief flashes through Christen’s body. The idea of shunning Tobin seemed impossible for Christen to have to do, so she finds solace in the fact that it won’t have to come to that. At least not for now.

“Ok” Christen replies, “I think I can do that.” I hope I can do that.

“Good” Kelley says with a satisfied smile, “See I told you that you worry too much.” Christen nods as she feels her tensed muscles relax. Her thoughts of despair drift from her head, no longer clouding her mind.

“You’re right, I do” Christen confirms as the first smile she’s had in days dances on her lips. “So enough about me, how was your weekend?”

“Not as eventful as yours, it seems” Kelley teases. Christen rolls her eyes but continues to smile. Even after experiencing one of the most stressful weekends of her life, Kelley’s humor still manages to lift Christen’s mood.

“Did training with your old coach go well?” Christen proceeds to converse. Kelley shrugs before pulling her head from side to side, cracking her neck.

“Yeah” she replies, “We went over a few different drills, I worked on my finishing skills, and then he made me do the beep test.” Christen shudders. I wouldn’t wish the beep test on my worst enemy.

“Do you think you’re ready for Walk-On Day now?”

“Hopefully” Kelley exhales as she leans back on her bed and relaxes into the mattress. “I’m not really sure what to expect, but I’ve been working my ass off lately, so I’m optimistic.”

“I’m sure you’ll do just fine” Christen comments enthusiastically. “What day is it again?”

“Thursday” Kelley answers as she finally kicks her athletic shoes from her feet. “Why? Are you thinking about going?” Christen shifts in her bed.

“If I did, it would only be as a spectator” Christen replies. Only a spectator…

“So I’d have my own, personal cheerleader there? Oh man, everyone on the team is gonna think I’m hot shit before I even get a touch on the ball” Kelley jokes, earning a laugh from Christen. It must be really interesting to live life through Kelley’s perspective.

“Nope, not a cheerleader” Christen points out, “Just a girl supporting her roommate.”

“Oh, I’d totally tell everyone you were my cheerleader” Kelley remarks as she folds her arms underneath her head.

“Then I’d tell everyone that you actually paid me to be there” Christen quips as she steals a glance from Kelley.

“Touché, Pressy, touché.”

Silence passes over them as the two lay on their beds and enjoy a moment of peace. Christen thinks back to their previous conversation and feels comfort from Kelley’s advice. She’s was right. If Christen wanted to get out of her pending problematic situation with Tobin, all she had to do was limit herself. If she refrains from excessive interaction, their relationship should level out and everything goes back to the way it was before Friday night. Time will fix things. Just be patient and stick to the plan.

Kelley stirs from her bed across the room.

“I’m bored” she says, breaking the silence, “Wanna watch some Netflix?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”