Overwatch Drabbles

Jack remembered the original Overwatch days fondly, not because of all the work, but because of the relationships he created. 

Jesse McCree, wide eyed and happy to help, willing to learn anything.

Angela with her soft laugh and quick quips to trade with anyone.

Reinhardt, the gentlest of giants to his friends, booming laughter and genuine joy in all things. A mountain of disaster to his enemies, likely presumed psychopathic due to his joyful nature.

Ana, with little Fareeha, kind and smart, ready to help and always with a knowing grin.

Torbjorn, always able to fix anything, snarky and ready to fight no matter what.

Winston’s love of peanut butter ruined peanut butter for him. The desire to please the genius into giving him better weapons and armour, so that Overwatch High Command didn't yell at him for doing it himself unofficially, almost too strong to resist.

Tracer’s unending happiness and energy, contagious in that you just had to be more like her in order to even keep up with her.

Genji, conflicted, but kind. Genji had been through so much, and Jack watched him grow from boy to man, from confused, hating himself, his brother, his family, to peaceful, loving his brother despite his faults, powerful in his belief that everyone deserved a second chance and the best the can offer and gain from the world.

Gabriel, with his smug fucking smirk. Punching it off didn't work, but kissing him breathless, fucking him into the mattress within an inch of his life, that got rid of it and put a positively gorgeous look on his face, wide eyed, mouth open gasping for air, a red tint to his caramel cheeks.

With the Fall of Overwatch, he lost all that was dear to him.

Then of course,when the Recall began, he found the ones he lost, and more.

They quickly became a large, unorganised, but impressive team, everyone's skills complementing one another in battle, keeping each other safe.

It was sometimes difficult to keep track of everyone due to the size of the group, but they made it work.

How the fuck the world had enough alcohol to get them all drunk, however, Jack had no idea. However, Gabriel Reyes existed to ensure the impossible became possible.

Gabriel strolled in the base, hands in his coat pocket, mask attached to his belt, whistling and grinning away as he made his way over.

Reinhardt stomped in behind him, as daintily as a 7’4” man in Crusader Armour carrying two giant crates could.

Gabriel reached Jack, and grabbed the other man's hands, putting them out in front of him. With a flourish, he reached into his coat and pulled out two bottles of tequila.

“Wha-”

“Shhh. Take the alcohol.” More bottles from the coat.

“Gabe-”

Two more. “Hush, boy scout, do as you were ordered.”

“I'm the boss.”

“You say that.”

When the bottles reached eight, Jack stopped trying to fight.

“I'm not even mad anymore, I just wanna know how you fit them into your coat without it being obvious.”

“Coat pockets for days. Just like the amount of alcohol we have. Except we aren't normal people, so it's probably for like, a night. Still, for days.”

And with that, Jack realised what was in the crates.

------

Jack was fucking smashed, munted, marinated, slammed and dunked, fucked. Absolutely fucked.

Granted, so was everyone else.

Hana twitched, causing him to glare in her direction. He'd stopped her no less than nine times trying to live stream the event.

She burped, looking rather green as she did so. Kids with no alcohol tolerance.

Lucio was arm wrestling Angela- hang on was he losing?

With a shout, Zarya lifted the victor of the arm wrestle up, Angela drunkenly clutching for life to the powerful Russian woman.

“I could not defeat her if I tried! I will never be as strong as her! She is a goddess!” Zarya smeared kisses sloppily over Angela’s cheek.

Fareeha yelped indignantly, smacking Zarya and demanding she let go of her girlfriend immediately.

Zarya held tight, pulling Fareeha into the hug with her other arm, alternating between the women to smooch them both.

Pharah stopped complaining immediately.

Ana watched on from the upper floor, leaning heavily on an unconscious Winston. As much as he was genetically enhanced, his body wasn't designed for large amounts of alcohol.

Jack was ninety percent certain Winston had never been drunk before. The other ten percent was too busy being drunk.

Torbjorn and Reinhardt stumbled into the room, or rather, Reinhardt with Torbjorn attached to his leg like a kid stumbled into the room.

The two were slurring in German and Swedish, somehow capable of understanding each other perfectly while howling whatever song they were singing. Cats in heat probably made more sense than whatever was coming out of them.

Reinhardt stopped upon seeing Lucio, suddenly shouting with glee random things like “It dat boi!” and “Oh schiesse, waddup?!”. He made no sense when he started spouting ‘memes’.

Ana piped in with some sort of response, jolting Winston awake with her cackle.

“Is he thick?”

Reinhardt laughed. “Not as thick as Gabriel!”

“Oooooh, he still thick though!”

Athena ran a translation to his data pad, suggesting that thick was actually “thicc”, whatever that meant.

Jack shook his head. What else could possibly happen that-

Jesse rolled through the window, shattering the glass and sending it flying as he leapt to his feet, thrusting his arm forward to reveal a rubber ducky.

“Guys! Quick we gotta help the lil fella! He ain't in the tub like he's meant to be, with all his friends!” McCree’s face was red, and suspicious trails of liquid ran down his cheeks.

Oh fuck, he's crying.

Gabriel materialised beside Jesse, arm wrapping around his shoulders.

“Jesse, did you take the rubber ducky from the bathroom?”

“Yeah,” he sniffled. “ ‘ad t’ save it.”

“Did you take it from the tub?” Gabriel sighed, still somehow entirely capable of being serious and “fatherly” despite being thoroughly marinated.

“Yeah, I-” Jesse stopped, mouth opening and closing before his eyes welled up with even more tears. “I took it from the tub. I stole the rubber ducky. I'm a monster.”

Gabriel panicked slightly, trying to keep the other man from becoming more distraught.

“No no, you saved it. It's safe here with us. You can take it back to the tub anytime.”

“I can?” Jesse asked hopefully.

“Yeah, sure can.” Gabriel nodded.

Jesse’s arms flung around Gabriel, crying and murmuring his thanks into Gabriel’s shoulder. Gabriel sighed and petted the other man's back.

For all the shit he gave Jesse, and the amount he pretended to hate it, Gabriel couldn't help but see Jesse like the son he never had. Granted, he was seeing a few of the others as his kids too now, but Jesse would always be the special one.

Jack turned his gaze to Roadhog, desperately reaching for more alcohol but unable to move as he refused to accidentally wake the sleeping Junkrat atop him. Upon realising finally that the effort was futile, his arm dropped, and he huffed.

Jack grabbed what could have possibly been the only unopened bottle and rolled it to Roadhog, smirking as it hit the other man's hand and Roadhog’s head tilted back with a grin of thanks to see Jack.

Hana had grabbed her mech during the various events and had managed to program it to allow herself and Luico to play a holographic form of Dance Dance Revolution. Neither of them had any remaining skill or co-ordination, however they appeared to be having fun.

Or a seizure. Jack couldn't tell.

The lights above them swung awkwardly as Genji yet again flipped from one set of lights to the other, swinging like a demented spider person

“Niiii-chaaaaaaan!” he called, looking around for Hanzo.

That fucking dragon loving fuckstain. When everyone had drank enough to be tipsy, the sly bastard had brought out three bottles of sake with the Shimada emblem on them. Genji had gasped, excitedly asking Hanzo something in Japanese as he tugged his older brother’s sleeve. Hanzo had chuckled and nodded, before warning everyone that the alcohol was “quite strong”.

“Quite strong” in Japanese must have meant “capable of turning someone into a fucking train wreck” in every other language.

Hanzo was also nowhere to be found.

Hopefully dead, the fucker. Jack thought. He'd had far too much of that stuff to drink, and he knew he was going to regret it in the morning.

Jack stood, blinking his eyes to clear his head, and walked over towards where Gabriel had dragged Jesse.

Tracer, Mei, Zenyatta, Bastion, and Symmetra were all in a group, Zenyatta quietly holding Tracer up and using mildly lit orbs to slowly heal the group of their intoxication. Bastion beeped quietly, Ganymede twittering on his finger and hopping from hand to hand in the circle of hands the group had made to be able to touch the bird.

Jack nodded as he passed them.

He saw Gabriel, back turned to him as he spoke to Reinhardt about some crazy battle plan the two of them could likely pull off. Likely Gabriel jumping onto the Rocket Hammer while Reinhardt spins rapidly, Gabriel shooting everything out of reach.

It would probably work, if it didn't kill them first.

Of course, it would require excellent physical strength, of which both of them had in bundles.

It showed too, Reinhardt being 61 and fitter than anyone Jack knew, and Gabe’s ridiculously huge thighs.

Speaking of-

A loud thwack resounded throughout the room, silencing everyone.

Jack's hand hurt.

“Ow.” he mumbled, moving his hand to his chest, away from where it had traitorously smacked Gabe’s firm, round behind.

“Too good for you.” Gabe huffed, cheeks slightly red. “Remind me to put my boot up your ass tomorrow.”

Genji fell to the floor with a thunk, landing directly on his back as gracefully as a newborn giraffe.

“Where is my brother?” Genji slurred, his accent now almost unintelligible due to the alcohol. “I must… Hug him!”

Genji jumped back up off the floor before stopping.

“What happens if I throw up in my mask?” he managed to say, before stumbling towards the nearest bathroom.

“I think we should go get everyone some water.” Jack sighed.

“What the fuck, Morisson, you're drunk as shit but still logical. This is a disgrace.” Gabriel shook his head, grabbing Jack and pulling him towards the kitchen.

As they entered the kitchen, Gabe paused, the door barely open “Don't tell anyone I was about to say the same thing.”

He opened the door, and was greeted to the sight of his best friend nearly in tears.

Hanzo frantically picked up a piece of fruit off the floor, placing it back in front of one of his dragons. He motioned for it to eat, and daintily it took the food from his fingers, only for it to fall through the dragon

Hanzo made a distressed noise, starting the cycle again.

His dragons seemed more distressed by their master’s distress rather than their inability to eat.

Hanzo caught sight of Gabriel, relief painting over his face before worry returned.

“Gabriel, they cannot eat! Why can they not eat?!” Hanzo tried the fruit again.

Various other forms of food, meat, other fruits, -was that ice cream?- were on the floor around him, as though he'd been trying to figure out what they eat.

“Because they eat people, Handsoap.” Gabriel sighed for the umpteenth time. He walked towards the sink and grabbed a glass, filling it and downing the glass for himself.

“You're right. Get the cow man.” Hanzo nodded fiercely.

“Why do you always hate on McCree?”

“He is a pest.” Hanzo petted his dragon, murmuring something about McCree to it. It looked at him and tilted its head, long tongue flicking out to lick his nose.

“You just hate that he teases you the most.”

“Preci- Pre- Yes. That is why he is a pest.”

He sipped politely on the water he was handed, with all the grace he had left in his inebriated state.

Gabe wanted to see Hanzo try and walk. Or wall climb. Or do a flip.

On second thought maybe not a flip. Vomit windmill. Gabe shuddered.

Hanzo’s sharp eyes turned to him, dropping the glass of water and immediately going for the collar of his clothes.

“Do you requ- quire- Are you cold?” Hanzo’s ability to speak was failing. He'd likely start swapping to Japanese soon to compensate.

“Fine. Had a strange thought, bud.” Gabriel picked up the glass, that had landed perfectly on its base with nary a worry or a drop spilt, and glanced at Jack.

Jack had managed to fall asleep against the wall,  and looked seconds from reaching the maximum amount he could be slumped over it before he fell to the floor.

Gabe blinked blarily, yawning moments after Hanzo.

Hanzo mumbled something to his dragons, and stood, rolling his ankles one after the other. The dragons coiled around him, tongues flicking out like little kisses to show their love to their master. With a nod to them, they both faded back into his left arm, disappearing as though they'd never been there.

The kitchen suddenly had much more space.

“Good night.” Hanzo obviously decided the moment was over and strolled towards the outer room, headed for his own room.

Hopefully he didn't still want his dragons to eat Jesse.

Jack jerked awake, blinking awkwardly at Gabriel.

“Bed time?”

“Pfft, old man.” Gabriel mocked, the large yawn that encompassed most of the sentence ruining it.

----

Everyone tottered into the eating area around the same time, in varying states of existence.

Symmetra and Tracer both looked as though they'd prefer to be brutally murdered, right then and there, over how they felt. Amelie blinked slowly at Jack before looking at Lena and resting her head on the other woman's back, Lena having flopped onto the table.

The omnics were fine, however Genji did not exactly seem well, leaning against Zenyatta and sometimes grabbing his master's shoulder for support.

Zarya came in with Angela and Fareeha, all three of them sporting hickies and lipstick marks.

Reinhardt came in grinning, eyes twinkling with mischief as his voice boomed greetings.

Hanzo strolled in looking perfectly untouched, glaring at Jack as though to dare him to speak of the kitchen incident.

When everyone had arrived and food begun being eaten, everyone started talking.

Hana and Lucio began to look more frustrated.

“Hey! Why is the internet not working? I put a timer on it so it couldn't be turned on or accessed during the party. Because someone didn't want it streamed.” she ended glaring at Jack.

“Oh. I turned it off, I think.” Reinhardt scratched his head. “Or at least, I remember I went to do that. And then I remember throwing Genji at the ceiling, before going to find Torbjorn.”

--------

Hana cried at the funeral of the internet modem.

The tombstone, a piece of cardboard, read “Here lies the internet modem, crushed too young by Reinhardt’s hammer”.

Jack tried to remember why they had a funeral for it, but abandoned the thought for more alcohol. 

“I'm getting too old for two parties in a row.”