Rose of Ferelden

Hawke crept in through the window, the candlelight warm and inviting. "Boo."

Mira jumped, turning and holding her hairbrush like a weapon. She breathed a sigh of relief, a hand resting on her now heavy bosom. "Rose. You should knock."

"A Hawke that knocks." Hawke chuckled, she crossed the room and pulled her into her arms. She tried to kiss her but Mira pulled away and checked the door to make sure it was locked before dousing all but one candle. She sighed and rolled her eyes. "They will never hear me, Mira. And if they do, you can just say you are dancing."

"I can't take any chances, you know that." She settled back in front of her vanity and continued brushing her hair.

Hawke pulled a necklace from her belt, a deep sapphire that matched her eyes on a dainty chain. It was small enough to pass unnoticed in Lothering but it was something. She dangled it above Mira's fiery head with a smile. "What do you think?"

"Oh. Where did you get it?"

She fastened it around her neck, she felt a smug satisfaction of having picked it well as it shimmered in the candle light. "The Deep Roads, it's why I was gone so long. I almost didn't make it back."

Mira laughed. "You and your stories."

"Right." Hawke's smile felt hollow as she shivered. "Does it earn me a kiss?"

She stood and dropped her robe, pulling her toward the narrow bed and it's rough sheets. "Oh, I think so."

Hawke half fell on top of her, anointing her face with tender kisses before Mira impatiently dug her nails into her shoulders making her hiss. She trailed down her body, sucking on taut peaks as her fingers worked against her clit and before thrusting one into her. The mewling noises that dropped from her lips soon turned angry and she pushed on Hawke's head and arm. She shoved back momentarily, crooking her finger and dragging a pleased moan from her. Hawke settled between her thighs and slid a second finger in as she rolled the swollen nub with her tongue. Mira wrapped her hands in her hair and tugged, the pain distracting but at that moment she went over the edge calling softly for the Maker. Hawke sat up, still in her travel armor, and her body a war of aches and pains.

Mira stretched like a cat, eyes fluttering shut. "Aren't you a good girl? Mind blowing out the candle as you leave?" Hawke stared at the necklace, feeling the itch in her palms. It would be easy to take back. She probably wouldn't notice. She shook her head.

"No, Mira." She pinched off the flame and closed the window behind her. She slid down the drain pipe and wandered Lothering cursing herself. She should have stayed on with Val. It was too late to just barge in at home and she remembered the last time she snuck in to her own house. Mother had been a nightmare for a week. She headed towards the inn and the only bar. She had sovereigns burning in her pocket anyway.

It was dreadfully empty as she tossed a sovereign on the counter. "Let me know when it runs out." The barkeep nodded and she settled into the darkest corner of the place to nurse the coming hangover alone. Four tankards in, and she could see the bottom of the fifth if she squinted, there was a tap on her shoulder. "Fuck off."

"That's a fine greeting, Rose Celene Hawke, after months away. What if I told your sister? Or worse, your mother?" She looked up to David's cheery grin.

She shook her head and kicked out the other chair for him. "Bastard." She waved the waitress over. "Bring another for me and some for my friend."

"Your money's up."

She gave a disgusted grunt, fished into her belt pouches, and slapped a sovereign into her outstretched hand. "I've been to every major city in the country, traveled to Orlais twice, and this is still the worst service in southern Thedas."

He chuckled, giving the waitress a smile that made the girl blush. "That's because they don't know you, Hawke."

She shrugged. "You're up awful late. Old man got you running the second shift now?" He nodded. "Eh. It's not like there's any ladies to be had."

"Only when she's in town." Hawke rolled her eyes and laughed. "I'm surprised you're not with Mira."

"Been and gone." She took a long drink and he let the silence stretch waiting for her to continue. She stared at the wood of the table, tracing the grain with a finger nail.

"Something happen?"

"No." She sighed. "Yes?" She turned to stare at him. "Is she ashamed of me or is she ashamed that I'm not a man?" She tapped her fingers against the tankard. "Because I'm tired of sneaking around like a thief to see her; if she wants any future with me, it'll come out eventually. Or is it because I'm not from here? Or do I travel too much? Is she angry? Your da has offered me a job in the guard, if she wants me to stay close to here she could just say so."

David raised his eyebrows. "Would you?"

"Maybe, if I didn't feel like a convenient way for her to orgasm and provider of shiny things. Like some secret stash of chocolate that's only good because you hide it." She leaned her chin on her mug and let out a low drawn out sigh. "No, I wouldn't. I want more then Lothering has to offer, a chance to use my talents." He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and she leaned her forehead against his chin. "You know, I had been telling her I loved her before I left? She barely responded. Tonight I didn't say it and she didn't notice. It's like she didn't notice how long I was gone even."

He squeezed her tight. "You were gone a lot longer than normal. If you hadn't sent that letter I would have come looking for you with Carver."

She chuckled. "All the way to the Deep Roads?"

He sat up, grabbed both her shoulders and shook her. "Maker, you don't go to the fucking Deep Roads! What in Andraste's flaming knickers were you doing?"

Her face was solemn. "I would never get in a pair of flaming knickers, Andraste's or otherwise." His face mottled and she broke off into a fit of giggles. She patted his arm. "It was supposed to be safe, David. It wasn't but I'm fine. The clan I was working for made sure I was and paid me well even with the losses they suffered."

He stared at her until she fidgeted. "How bad?"

She sighed. "I sent that letter after a week's healing."

He pulled her to him in a bear hug, her ribs cracking. "Don't ever go to the Deep Roads again. You hear me?" He shook her again, softer this time since she was half straddling his lap. He swallowed hard and she watched his Adam's apple bob with interest before her gaze settled back on his eyes. "I don't want to tell your mother you died chasing treasure."

She shook her head. "David, it's what I do. Treasure hunters don't find it in fields."

He closed his eyes, sighing. "No. And you find most of yours in palaces and market stalls." She stiffened. "I've known a long time, trouble."

"Mira." He expected venom, the quiet exhaustion surprised him but then she frowned.

He shook his head, brown eyes meeting her sea blue ones. "No. Bethany. I went to her with my suspicions and she told me. And then threatened to kill me and burn my ashes so no one would ever find me." Hawke chuckled, relaxing comfortably in his lap. "I only asked because I was worried. It was right after your father died and I knew bards don't make much, especially apostate bards with mouthy daughters." He gingerly let his hands settle on her hips. "I had very heroic thoughts of helping your family and you falling in love with me actually."

She arched a brow and took a drink from his tankard. "That's not heroic, that's conniving." She patted his cheek. "I'm so proud."

He snorted. "You're proud of puppy love plotting, but not of me becoming a Sargent in the guard? You're a terrible person."

Her lips pursed. "You didn't tell me you got a promotion." She tried to shake him, his stalwart shoulders unmoving. He chuckled at her displeased pout. "Bastard. Of course, I'm proud of that. I've got two guards of status in my pocket now." She winked.

He swallowed another drink and trailed his fingers along her cheek. She leaned into them purring like a cat. "You're shameless."

She scowled. "I'm working on getting drunk and came here with the intent of getting fucked. You pulled me into your lap, sugar." She went to slid out of it and he wrapped an arm around her waist pinning her there. She gave him an appraising look.

"What about Mira?" His eyes searched her face.

Her expression softened and she kissed him. It was a tender thing, butterfly wings on a sunny spring morning and sugar whipped with butter. She held herself away from him as he floundered, holding him upright as his hands furled and unfurled at her waist. She pulled away with a smile. "Please tell me I am not your first."

He blushed. "Yes."

She sighed, brushing his hair back from his forehead. "Not tonight then, not with drink in our heads and pain in my heart. I won't do that to you, David. Not with Mira hanging over your conscious." She slid out of his lap and perched on the edge of the table. "I think it's time I ended it anyway."

He took her hand. "Let me walk you home?"

She stared down into his brown eyes, she always thought they looked like mud but now she could see why so many girls described them as melted chocolate. She wanted to tell them they missed the honey mixed in for good measure, he was so sweet he would rot your teeth. "Don't get all protective on me now, David. It's just sex."

"Not for me." He looked down, his expression hardening as he remembered things she wanted forgotten. "I won't use you like that."

She frowned and grabbed his chin, making him meet her gaze. "You're not using me. I enjoy sex, with feelings or without them. It's like eating for me, I enjoy it but I can go without when necessary or even suffer through some bad."

He laughed. "Fine. Prepare to suffer then. I'll be a terrible stick in the mud."

She crossed her eyes in mock thought. "The possibilities." His laughter trailed off but he was smiling still. She took his hands. "I'll walk you through your first time, as your friend. But don't ask more of me, not now. I need a break from more than bed games." She smirked. "Or hay lofts, tables, chairs, fields, or that one time I tried it in a moving carriage."

She giggled at his expression of shock and awe. "I take it you and Mira weren't monogamous."

"We were for a while. And then I found out she was fucking the wagonmaker’s son while I was gone." She shrugged. "We talked about it and decided when we were apart we could seek our pleasure elsewhere but that our hearts were bound to each other." Her face soured. "Apparently that meant different things to each of us." There was pity in his eyes and she felt her temper rising. She shook her head and plastered on a grin. "Come on, let's get you home. Guards need their rest to protect us from brigands and thieves."

He chuckled letting her pull him up and lead him out the door. "We don't have thieves; I think someone runs them all off her home turf." She turned and waved before disappearing into the night.

Hawke let herself into the stable and was greeted by a soft whinny. "Hey, Red. Anybody mess with my pack?" His still massive head bobbed. She chuckled. "Was it you?" He bobbed again. She held out an apple. "Looking for one of these?" He took it happily from her hand. She petted his neck, even after spending the past few years in lazy retirement he still had cords of muscle. She nuzzled her face against his mane. "Mind sharing your barn tonight? I'm too lonely to sleep at the inn and mother will ask questions I don't want to answer if I go in." He ruffled against her shoulder before checking her pockets. "Fine. Have the other apple, scoundrel."