Hungry Crows
The sharpest of the hunger pangs had subsided to a dull ache some hours past. Hawke crouched in the eaves of the chantry watching the market place. There were more guards in Denerim this time. She hadn't seen father today, she hoped that meant he had found work. Work meant food in their bellies. The meager scraps the Chantry handed out barely fed the twins that morning. She left at noon when she could no longer stand listening to their pitiful whimpers while their mother rocked them with empty eyes. They had fought that morning over selling the horse when they thought Hawke was still asleep. She shook her head. Sell the horse and trap them in this dump? She shifted, restless on her feet but finally the guards began leaving the market for rotation. She stole down the building, making sure her bag was firmly over her shoulder. She was small, a lifetime of too few meals and hard travel insured that. Quick hands and an equally quick mind would take care of the rest. A portly matron was making her weekly round with a large open basket. Hawke eyed the contents of it but moved on using the woman as a shield to snag a wheel of cheese. The baker lost a loaf of bread when she knocked into a tray and scrambled to right her accident with a sweet apologetic smile. "Messere, your lovely bread! I am so sorry." He glared at her as she backed away still apologizing. Her smile turned triumphant when she turned from him.
She wandered openly between the stalls riding on the highs of her successes. Fine fabric, pretty little things to decorate homes that were four walls that she had never known, beautiful jewelry, everything could be had in Denerim. She traced her finger along the blade of a dagger, flicking her eyes towards the shopkeeper before it too disappeared into her bag. She looked skyward, sunset was approaching so she set herself towards the outskirts where the wagon was. The last vendor in the market caught her eye. The greenest apples she had ever seen, her mouth watered looking at them convinced they would taste like spring and a childhood she had dreamed of. The kind of childhood that ended with full bellies every night and never started hours before dawn so she could take watch when they were being pursued. The vendor glared at her, the only thing of her that touched the apples was her longing gaze.
"Rose Hawke! Did you steal this?" Fire crept into Leandra's eyes but her eldest child didn't flinch.
Hawke pulled the bread and cheese from the bag setting them on the wagon seat with a shrug. "I worked for the eggs, mama. The lady needed her coop cleaned."
She grabbed the pan from the wagon and settled by the fire. Bethany and Carver wandered over to her to watch. She had cleaned the woman's coop for the eggs but some of them were extra. Hawke counted them off in her mind. Two apiece for the twins, mother and father would leave her with just one. She shrugged. There was always tomorrow, if she went back through the market maybe she could filch a meat pie. Beth pulled her thumb from her mouth with a wet plop. "Sissy? Was today lucky?"
Hawke nodded. "Today was lucky."
"Will tomorrow? I really hungry." Hawke ruffled her hair and cracked in some eggs.
"Mama, will you cut up the bread and cheese?"
"I don't want to be associated with your thieving ways." Hawke rolled her eyes. She would do it after she got the twins eating their eggs then.
Papa wandered into camp just after dark, drained but smiling. The twins jumped up from their bread and cheese to run screaming to him and he spun them around. Hawke was cooking for herself, her lone egg with a crumble of cheese on top. Malcolm mussed her hair. "It seems my Hawke had a productive day."
She grinned. "I found a lady who needed a chicken coop cleaned." Her smile faded. "Most people won't hire me because I'm a girl, they want a boy for that kind of work. It's stupid, papa."
"Well, I found a job at the royal palace for the season. After that, we'll go back to Lothering. But I have a surprise for you." He pulled the shiniest apple from the stall out of his pocket and handed it to her. "Enjoy it."
Hawke's mouth watered but she grabbed the knife and sliced off two chunks for Bethany and Carver. She slipped the rest into her pocket. She ate her egg and a piece of bread before putting everything away into the wagon. They would have enough just enough to make a little breakfast. Hopefully papa would get paid at the end of the week and they could buy supplies, flour kept better then bread and stretched farther too. She wandered over to the horse, pulling the apple from her pocket. It had browned along the edges where she had cut off pieces for the twins but it didn't bother her.
"Malcolm, you can't reward her for stealing." Hawke froze.
"It fed the twins, and you, did it not? She's making do and I won't fault her for it."
"She's an Amell, she's better than that!"
Her father’s voice rose. "She's a Hawke, she'll survive to do better than that. She understands. Maker, I wish she didn't have to but she does. You see a reward for stealing but did you watch her share it with the twins? If she's so selfish why would she do that? Is it selfish to not want to starve?"
Her mother's voice became hysterical. "And when she gets caught? What then? The embarrassment of it."
"The embarrassment of it?" Hawke could picture him running his hands through his hair. "You're not worried about them taking her away or discovering your mage child or husband? You could lose all three of us just like that." He snapped his fingers.
Hawke hung her head as she heard her mother start to cry. "What am I supposed to do, love?"
She could imagine them, like so many fights before. Her father would stand away a moment before wrapping her mother in his arms and petting her hair. There were usually no more words then. "The arl is looking for maids for the season. You and the twins could live in the estate. Hawke and I could manage out here."
"She has a name."
"Maybe you shouldn't have told her she was a rose with too many thorns to be loved and not pretty enough to make up for it." He was quiet a moment. "Consider the job, Leandra. Either way, we are going back to Lothering in the spring and we won't leave again."
"I hate Lothering!"
"You hate anywhere that isn't Kirkwall. Maybe you should have thought about that before you ran away with me." Hawke watched her father stride out from other side of the wagon. He scooped up the twins to bundled them off to bed with kisses and stories. She scraped the tears from her eyes before glaring at the apple in her hand. She offered it to the horse who took it happily. She stroked his nose before burying her head in his neck to cry again.
She had left in the early dawn light and headed into Denerim. She stopped at a water trough to look at her reflection, a few splashes of water removed the most offending bits of dirt and the braid in her hair made it look nice. She pulled her hood low on her face, the dark brown material long since threadbare and patched. The overcoat’s long sleeves covered her hands and bottom fell almost to her knees, oversized but practical. She adjusted her bag and headed for the chantry. It was too early for the daily handouts but the morning service was going. Hawke crept quietly into the Chantry and took a seat. The vaulted ceiling fascinated her with its ornate details, the carvings and gold work. There was more money in the art work alone then she could dream of. But it was the books that held her eyes, every alcove that lined the hall was full of them. They had three books in their wagon and Hawke could recite them word for word. These books were new, she wanted to run her fingers down their spines before opening them flat in her hands to breathe in their scent. She wanted to know what secrets their pages held, what languages they spoke. She was jolted from her daydream by the chanter getting louder.
"Those who steal from their brothers and sisters Do harm to their livelihood and to their peace of mind. Our Maker sees this with a heavy heart." She droned. Hawke grimaced. That's all fine and dandy when you have enough food but surely the maker didn't intend little kids like Bethany and Carver to starve. The service wrapped up and she filed out with the rest. She got in line with another girl, a gangly blonde elf.
"Not from here?" Hawke shook her head. "This is crap. But it's food innit." She just nodded. "Eh a quiet one." The elf girl grabbed her food. "Back side of the market. We can find some real food. Pies."
Hawke grabbed hers and followed her out. "I have to take this to my family. But I'll be back." She grinned. "I'm Hawke."
The elf stuck out her hand matching her grin. "Sera." They shook and tore off in their directions.
Hawke ran all the way back to the wagon. "Mama, I got the Chantry food. It's not much better then yesterday." She rounded the wagon and a strange man grabbed her. Leandra was by the fire, holding Bethany and Carver. "Mama?"
"I'll give 20 sovereigns for her. She'd have a good life in the Crows. I saw her yesterday and she's a good thief. You'd only have two mouths to feed." The man's breath stank.
Leandra continued to stare. "I don't know, Serah."
Tears stung Hawke's eyes as anger blazed under her skin. "Just go ahead and sell me. I'm just an embarrassment anyway." Leandra flinched and nodded, the man's grip loosened. Hawke spun from his grasp, pulling the knife from her belt and she shoved it under his chin. Blood ran hot down her arm and she pulled it free as he gurgled. He dropped at her feet as Leandra began to scream. Hawke ignored her. She cleaned the knife off on the man's clothes and drug his body away from their campsite and into the woods. At the river bed, she stripped him of anything useful. He had ten sovereigns and some smaller coin and a knife. Hawke shoved his body into the river and watched it float downstream. She cleaned her knife again with sand before returning to the wagon.
Leandra stood between her and the twins. "You're a murderer."
She stared numbly at her mother. “He wasn’t a Crow if I could do that.” Hawke began to shake, she stared at the blade. The tip dipped towards the ground but she tightened her hand and straightened her spine. She tucked it back in to her belt as she lifted her chin to look her mother in the eye. “You would really sell me? For 20 sovereigns? That’s all I’m worth to you.” She started walking away from the campsite. Leandra called out after her but she kept going. She had plans in town after all.
When Hawke returned late that night, her mother said nothing to her. Malcolm greeted her with a cheery smile, obviously he had no idea what had transpired at their wagon that day. Hawke stood before Leandra until she looked up at her, her bag bulging on her shoulder. She reached into the outer pocket and pulled out 20 sovereigns, dropping them at the mother’s feet. “I earned it. Every copper, with more work lined up tomorrow.” Her soft voice took a poisonous edge. “Maybe we should sell you for less than you’re worth.”
She left her speechless parents at the fire. She smiled as her mother stammered to explain what was going on to her father and laughed when his magic crackled over her skin. She settled between the twins and opened her bag. Two shiny daggers, not the belt knife she had picked up earlier, with sheaths, a real belt with pouches for herbs and powders, and two sets of lock picks; the beginnings of a master thief’s kit. Tomorrow she would get the rest. Her new friend was an endless wealth of information and Hawke was going to make a name for herself.