Made of Earth and Sky

Clarke hadn’t seen Lexa since they arrived over an hour ago. As soon as they dismounted their horses she left in silence towards warrior’s campground. Other than answering a question or checking Clarke was okay ever few hours, in the two days they had spent travelling Lexa had barely spoken a word to her. Clarke knew that she shouldn’t have gone against Lexa’s decision, and she was sorry for that, she, however, was not sorry for coming to the uneven land of the Shadow Valley clan. There was no way on earth she would have stayed behind. She couldn’t have sat in Polis while her people in her, their, name march off to the death. After Lexa’s arrival she knew it would only be a matter of hours before Lexa and her army advanced into battle. Skaikru hadn’t arrived yet and she couldn’t help but think that’s why they were still waiting.

Sighing, she stood from her seat on her throne; the one Lexa had made for her on her Ascension day. The floor was cold underfoot, the thin material used as a carpet failing to keep the warmth in, she didn’t mind though. It was better than having her swollen feet and ankles trapped in her boots, which, she had kicked off as soon as she walked into the tent. She moved over to the wooden desk Lexa kept her maps and notes on, Clarke had taken the notes for the sake of time and clarity, and let her eyes wonder over them. She rested her elbows against the desk, mentally going over the plan for the hundredth time, it had to go perfectly, no fuck ups, and if, no, when it did, the battle should only last a few days tops.

She wondered if Lexa would speak to her before leaving, or if the two of them would share a good luck kiss as they did every time the armies marched. It had only been two days but Clarke missed the way Lexa’s calloused hands gripped hers and the way her soft lips pressed to her temple when they embraced after a long day. And the sex, oh God did she miss the sex, of course they had been longer than two days before but Clarkes hormones were out of control. She vowed that if Lexa didn’t hurry up and sort her out, she would do it herself.

“Hainofi?” She jumps slightly at the sound of the gruff voice before turning towards the entrance. Her slightly spooked expression caused the guard to step closer, “Are you okay?”

“Sha, mochof” She forced a contrived smile. “What can I do for you?”

“Skaikru have arrived” he gestures to outside the tent with a slight grimace on his face. Clarke smile widens as she stifles a laugh reading his expression ‘Your irritating and troublesome friends are outside’

She nods, “Mochof Ilo, send them in” he takes a step back before completely disappearing from the tent, Clarke turns and heads back towards her throne, listening to the shuffling outside. She hasn’t seen her friends from Arkadia in nearly four months, being between Polis and the other clans had left her with barely any time to see her mother, let alone her friends. Hearing the flap to the tent open once again, Clarke plops herself down. Raven and Bellamy strut in taking in the tent with an impressed look on their faces, while Octavia follows behind with an impassive expression, no doubt because of how accustomed she is to tents of all sizes.

“Wow, Princess, you’ve gotten big” Raven lets out a low whistle, eyes dropping to Clarkes stomach, Clarke follows the gaze and rubs her stomach a few times, her heart warming to the thought of her child. An ‘ouch’ turns her attention back to the idiots she calls friends. Raven is rubbing her ribs with a fake betrayed expression on her face. A smug look on Octavia’s face is a clear indication that she was the one who gave her an elbow to the ribs. Clarke watches with a comical glint in her eyes.

“What she meant to say…” Bellamy interrupts, sending a joking glare to the brunette “was, that you look good”

“Thanks guys” Clarke smiles, not caring about Ravens comment, just happy to be with her friends again. “I would give you a hug but this” she gestures to her bump “makes it a little harder”

Quickly getting the hint, the three of them come closer and embrace her into a bone crushing hug, “God I’ve missed you. So what’s happening with you guys then?”
-
With the three friends sat around Clarkes throne, just like the Nightblood have done with Lexa a thousand times, they caught her up with everything happening at the Ark, in their personal lives and of course, other peoples.

“You do not want to know what I walked in on them doing in the infirmary” Raven closes her eyes and shakes her head clean of the crystal clear image of the scene she had walked in on. Clarke couldn’t help the disgusted look fall on her face either, her mom and Kane? “Trust me, even I blushed”

A string of ‘ewws’, laughter and the thud of a pillow Clarke had thrown at her best friends head filled the space around them.

“Don’t. That’s my mom”

As if on cue Clarke’s bladder felt like it was being danced upon and she excused herself to use the toilet. As she exited the light of the tent and out into the cold breeze, she could see braided brunette hair sitting on a log by the campfire the warriors had set up. Lexa sat with her back to Clarke, not much different from the position they had been in for the past few days, the flickering orange glow silhouetting her petite figure. Even from where she stood, she could hear Lexa’s angelic laugh, 'glad you’re having fun without me', she thought bitterly. One of the men opposite Lexa, pointed Clarke out to the young Heda, her smile fading when she took in Clarkes expression. Fed up of watching her houmon acting like a child, she strides off the edge of the forest where the toilets (well holes in the ground with sheets acting as walls) were situated. It didn’t take Clarke long to realise that there was no way she could hover over the gap without falling over, she hated to admit it but the extra weight she’s carrying would cause her legs to collapse. Frustrated, she turns to leave the bathroom, still desperate for a pee, and bumps straight into someone with a humph.

“I’m so sorry” Clarke apologises, hands on the woman’s shoulders to steady herself. Echo.

“Clarke? It’s quite alright” she smiles. Clarke glances from the woman back to the toilet, she really needs to go. The woman follows Clarkes eyes before her own widened.

“Could you please, um” she could not believe she was going to ask this. Thankfully she didn’t have to finish the embarrassing question when the young woman nodded.

“Come on” Echo smiles. Enough people have seen you naked from the waist down, she tells herself, and this is no different. Plus she really needs to go.

After an extremely eventful toilet trip, and ignoring Lexa on the way back, Clarke entered the tent to find Raven lounging across Lexa’s throne, her feet hanging over the arms, with Clarke’s simple crown sat on top of her head, with a shit eating grin settled on her face.

Clarke’s eyes widen, taking in the scene in front of her, she clears her throat. If it had been anyone else to walk in, Raven would have been killed on the spot for disrespecting and impersonating the Commander. She effectively attracts the attention of her friends who stand frozen, wide eyes staring back at her. Octavia, frankly looked scared shitless, understanding the severity of what her friend had done, although Clarke knew she had tried to stop her. Raven looked like she had seen a ghost at first but had relaxed when she saw that it was Clarke who had walked in, not Lexa or any of the Grounders. While Bellamy had reacted quickly taking the gold metal crown from her head and started walking towards the blonde, with an outstretched hand.

Bellamy’s voice broke the silence and got Raven moving hastily to Octavia’s side. “Here” Bell passes Clarkes crown back to her, delicately placing it in her open hands. How long had she been gone?

“Raven found the Grounders version of Moonshine” Bellamy whispered, answering her unspoken question, She slowly nodded, knowing how strong the drink is after first moving to Polis and embarrassing herself in front of the ambassadors.

Looking over his shoulder, she narrowed her eyes at the now sheepish brunette, and spoke up “You’re lucky that it was me that walked in and not Lexa” As much as she loved her houmon, she knew more than anyone that she didn’t tolerate disrespect on any level, especially when someone else could have easily walked in.

“Clarke, you look stressed”

“Wouldn’t you be if you helped rule a coalition?” she quipped, soon realising how harsh she sounded, “Sorry, I’m just -” she was what exactly? Pissed off? Feeling neglected? Worried about the outcome of this battle? “I’m just tired Bell”

“I bet! I mean you look like you’re ready to pop!” His eyes wide and face beaming, already knowing he would play the part of Godfather. “How long’s it now?”

“Two weeks, I think?” she ponders, slightly cursing the inefficiency of her time keeping, “Yeah, two weeks”

Shit, okay, now she was worried. The battle could easily last more than a month.

His large hands settled on her swollen stomach as he spoke “If you need anything, you know where - ”

“Hands off” A growl from behind them made the man freeze. Lexa.

She hadn’t even heard her come in, fuck, this pregnancy is really making her lose her touch.

Bellamy quickly lifted his hands up in surrender, showing them to Lexa before taking a step back. Clarke rolled her eyes.

“Hei Heda” she greeted casually, stepping further into the tent, grabbing her boots from the floor and placing them next to the table. Clarke could feel three sets of eyes burning into the back of her head, probably in disbelief but probably also because they could feel the suffocating tension surrounding them like a cloud.

“Gon we” Lexa spoke calmly. She could hear Octavia ushering the others out of the tent, Clarke sent a silent thank you to the girl.

Silence filled the now near empty tent. The only sound was the ragged breath coming from Clarke as she leant against the desk. The anger she’s been holding in for days and the extreme hormones are ready to errupt like an angry volcano.

“Clarke” her voice was soft, only fuelling Clarkes anger, she stepped forward towards her houmon, her niron.

“Don’t” the blonde warned through gritted teeth, holding her hand up, stopping Lexa in her tracks. “Say my name like that”

Lexa knew of Clarke’s anger and how it arises so suddenly, especially now she was with child, but her change in behaviour almost gave the young Heda whiplash. “What’s wrong Clarke?”

Her head whipped towards the brunette, she could feel her face going red and her hands sweating, yet all she could do was laugh in disbelief. “Seriously?”

“They are not allowed to touch your stomach, Clarke” she spoke evenly, as if talking to a child but her eyes hardened.

“Oh, so now you care” her steps are angry as she storms towards her wife. Lexa stands there, unsure of what to say to defuse the situation, coming up short, she remains silent. As Lexa learnt quickly, do not further exasperate an angry Wanheda. When Clarke stepped closer, Lexa took a small step back, becoming increasingly aware that this was about more than the incident with Bellamy. “You can’t just pick and choose when you want to play home, Lexa, you’ve been ignoring me for days”

“You went against my word, Clarke”

“No” she shook her head, taking a step back, “I went against Heda’s word, you need to start being my houmon, Lexa”

The hard look in Lexa’s eyes softened and her stomach dropped. Clarke was right, she hadn’t spent nearly enough time with her or acting as her houmon, she had been blinded by the unrest at Shadow Valley.

“Clarke, I’m sorry – I - ” Lexa didn’t know how to put her guilt into words, having only ever apologised to Clarke.

The two of them stood facing each other, a few feet between them, their eyes staring into each other’s, as if trying to communicate with only eye contact. The few moments they stood in silence, felt like minutes, Clarke resisted the temptation to run into Lexa’s arms, she had to know what she was thinking, what she was doing. Clarke broke the silence first.

“You once said that in order to be leaders, we have to look into the eyes of our warriors and say ‘go die for me’” she sucked in a breath, keeping her tears at bay, she fucking hated these hormones. “How could I do that from Polis, Lexa?”

She didn’t want an answer. She wanted to be understood.

“They’re my people to” she whispered, her voice breaking as she stared at her wiggling bare toes. Suck it up Clarke.

Lexa could almost hear the crack in her voice before it even happened, she stepped forward cautiously, unsure if she was dealing with Clarke or Wanheda, the two so different yet so alike.

“It is different, Clarke, you are with child” Blue eyes met green, and Lexa knew this was Clarke, her Clarke. Completely closing the gap between the two of them, Lexa’s put her hands delicately on Clarke’s stomach. Like she could forget she was pregnant, between needing to pee every other ten minutes and feeling like she would vomit every time she smelt the sickly sweet smell of berries, it hadn’t slipped her mind.

“That doesn’t make me weak.” She regained her emotions and put on a strong voice to emphasis her point “If the woman from Azgeda can ride into battle with a child in their stomach, so can I”

Why does she have to be so stubborn? Lexa had asked herself this on many occasions. It was one almost a gift and a curse.

“That’s not true, they’re real-” Lexa stopped herself. Regretting the words that almost fell from her lips – she froze.

“They’re real what, Lexa?” Her voice was hoarse when she yelled, pushing wife back by the shoulders, she knew what she was going to say, she knew the brunette better than she knew herself and right now, she hated herself for that. She was met by silence.

“I’m not a real grounder?” she questioned, betrayal and sadness mixed in her voice. “That’s what you were going to say wasn’t it?” She waited, one, please tell me I’m wrong, two, tell me I’m overacting, three, silence. She has had enough of the silence.

“Clarke” A voice begged behind her as she walked out. The grounders outside the tent hushed into silence when she walked out, hand pressed firmly against her stomach, they were looking at her, no doubt overhearing their argument from within. Lifting her head, chin held high, she looks them in the eye – daring them almost before speaking – “To work, all of you! We march at dawn!"

Clarke had never used her power as Princess of The Coalition in such a way before but she didn’t dwell on it. Neither did she dwell on the fact she had told an army they would march at dawn without so much as a say so from Heda. She couldn’t think about that now, she needed air. She knew Ilo was following her, as her guard he always did. She was glad she wasn’t completely alone but alone enough to think.

There were less people around the fire than earlier, her command luckily carrying some weight, as she walked towards it. She couldn’t help but think the fire was some weird metaphor for her and Lexa’s relationship. It seemed her mind was none stop lately, not only did she have to help with the Coalition and war strategies but she had to prepare both mentally and physically for this baby. Lexa had been a rock throughout this, helping with everything from foot rubs to comforting her when she cried in frustration over which colour baby clothes to get. Clarke had never felt this vulnerable, this unstable in all her life. And it fucking sucked.

Silent tears slipped from her eyes as she stood, toes digging into the cool, damp dirt, staring at the fires uncontrollable dance. It was defiantly a stupid metaphor. She groaned as a sharp pain pierced her stomach, her hand shot to the general area as if by some miracle she could stop the pain with the pressure of it. She hadn’t realised she was bending over until a large hand rested on her back.

“Hainofi? Is it the yongon?” Clarke would have smiled at the worry in Ilo’s voice had it not been for the stitch cramping her stomach. Give a warrior an arrow wound or a severed head and he won’t flinch, give him a crying pregnant woman with stomach pains and he sounds like he’s going to faint.

“I just need to sit down” she reassured. She knew it was nothing serious, the cramps often happened at the start and end of pregnancy due to hormones and the womb expanding. Helping her down, Ilo sat her on the same log as Lexa was sat on earlier, she held her head on her hands. God, she was feeling light headed.
-
Lexa was pacing the tent, her hands running through her hair. Why did she say that? She hadn’t even meant it. She cursed herself, she was normally so calm and collected, how, after three years, did Clarke still manage to turn her into a senseless teenager?

She stopped pacing when her toe came into contact with something solid, glancing down she realised it was a pair of black boots. Clarke’s boots. She picked them up and looked at them questionably, she was sure she hadn’t packed any spares. Quickly she remembered how her feet had been swelling to almost double their size and how Clarke had been spending most of her day’s bare foot. She realised that her boots were there because she hadn’t warn any outside. That girl was going to give her a heart attack before she even went into battle.

Shaking her head, she plopped the boots down on top of the desk and walked towards the sleeping area, where the bed was situated, grabbing a wet cloth from the trunk and wiping her face with it. It took a while to get the remaining black war paint from her face, she was so used to Clarke doing it she struggled doing it herself. The outside was almost completely silent, as if every warrior not on shift was asleep; of course she has heard Clarke’s command and couldn’t help but smile at how affective it had been. Because of the quiet she could hear hurried footsteps passing her tent; she was perched on the side of the bed, trying to figure out what she would say to the blonde. The footsteps got louder and louder until she realised, they weren’t outside, and they were moving quickly through her tent. Poking her head around the fabric she saw a red face warrior, no older than nineteen summers, staring at her with a panicked expression.

“Sha?”

“Hainofi” was all he breathed out before Lexa took off to the outside.

She knew something was wrong, she could feel it in her bones and in her spirit. It didn’t take Lexa long to find Clarke, hushed whispers and a small crowd of people pointed her in the right direction as soon as she stepped out of the tent. The temperature had dropped a few degrees in the last hour, the cold nipping at her skin. Lexa’s heart felt as if it had dropped to her stomach when she saw Clarke hunched over, hands rubbing the underside of her stomach. Not the baby, she prayed, it was her fault if something happened, she should have done more to keep Clarke at Polis, in their home with the best healers the clans could provide.
-
Clarke felt overwhelmed by the crowd that surrounded her, all wanting to help their Princess but not knowing how. She knew everyone was overreacting but it felt nice having people there for her when she had felt neglected for the past two days. Did that make her a bad person? Probably. Did she care? At this moment, no, not at all.

Ilo had offered to take her back to the tent multiple times, even going as far as to offer to carry her. She just laughed and declined, saying that she didn’t need him putting his back out. The pain had passed and all that remained was discomfort and a lack of energy. She liked the fresh air; it kept her awake, made her feel alive, like a natural drug. Plus she felt too lazy to move. She knew it wouldn’t be long before someone informed their Heda of the funny turn she took, so she didn’t see much point in walking back to their temporary home. As much as she was angry and upset with Lexa’s words or lack of in this case, all she wanted was to be in her arms. She wanted to blame it on the hormones, the baby, but she couldn’t, she knew she wanted to be held by her love. It was all quite possible that she stayed outside in the cold just to make her houmon sweat a little bit.

The sound of heavy boots, rushed orders and the crowd thinning told her that her prediction was correct. The middle aged woman who held her hand, meet her eyes as if to ask if she was okay and could leave, not wanting to disobey her Heda’s orders. Clarke nodded, glancing back at the fire. Fur had been placed over her shoulders by Echo moments earlier to block the wind. Clarke and the woman had a friendship that baffled Lexa, the two hurled insults and sarcastic comments at each other any chance they got but were also warm and protective of each other. She was more like Raven than she cared to admit but she’s sure that’s why they hit it off so well. Being in Polis for so long, Clarke really missed her best friend, and was in the need for a replacement of a sort, Echo had been her solution.

Clarke’s feet were still bare and open to the wind; she had tried to tuck them under her body but failed miserably. The previous crowd had completely disappeared with a flick of a wrist, leaving Lexa, Ilo and Clarke alone before the brunette had even reached them. Clarke turned her head and followed the woman with her eyes; her face looked slightly pale under the stars and her green eyes showed nothing by worry, a flutter made its way to Clarke’s chest. Rounding the log their eyes met and Clarke smiled as Lexa knelt in front of her. Her green eyes flickered under the light of the fire, Lexa’s hand caressed Clarkes cheek and she leaned into the touch, sighing ever so slightly.

“What’s happened?” Her tone tender and full of worry.

“Just a few pains” Watching Lexa’s eyes widen, she clarified “I’m fine now, it’s completely normal. I told him not to worry” nodding over to Ilo, who only grunted at the accusation. “I’m fine” she repeated, placing her hand on Lexa’s shoulder. Lexa’s shoulders relaxed, pulling Clarke into her arms, kissing her temple in the way the blonde desperately missed. They sat like that for a while, Clarke wrapped in Lexa’s arms – like two puzzle pieces fitting perfectly together – while the wind blew through their hair making the tips of their ears cold and the fire crackled behind them.

“Do you want to go to bed?” Lexa murmured into Clarke’s hair. She felt the blonde meekly nod against her, too tired to talk. Letting go from the hug, Lexa shifts into a standing position with pins and needles shooting up her legs. She stamps her feet a few times, getting the blood flowing, before holding a hand out to help Clarke up from her seat. Clarke takes her hand and places the other one under her bump; it’s already started to drop meaning the baby will come in a few weeks and even in the bad timing, she couldn’t be more relieved the pressure on her stomach and lungs has gone, and so has her heartburn. All she had to deal with now was the constant need to pee.

Pulling Clarke to her feet was harder than Lexa cared to admit, the blonde had gained quite a lot of weight recently between the baby and Lexa making her eat for two, or seven as Clarke had exclaimed looking at the food piled on her plate one night. Still, she managed. She took Clarkes right hand in hers and placed the other, supportively, on the small of her back. The blonde was weak on her legs initially as the two walked back to their tent.

Lexa was tentative to enter the makeshift home after the blonde, tired or not, she knew she as soon as she crossed into the threshold and out of curious eyes, that she, Heda of the thirteen clans, Heda of the blood and the most feared warrior of her lands, would get a bollocking from her wife.