Doctor
They don’t know how it hurts. When you have to hold your friends heart in your hands as you pump the blood as you try to keep them alive. That’s why you kept your distance. Yes you’re an Avenger, but you’re also the head trauma surgeon. It was easier to be distant, for them to dislike you. It would make your job easier.
That was something your young protégé knew all too well about you, Dr Cho also knew however that you were the softest person you could ever hope to meet. She knew that you would be the only doctor capable of saving the Avengers in the field, without hindering them going forward. She knew you better than anyone else at the tower. She knew the lengths you would go to keep the Avengers safe.
They however didn’t. To them you were reckless, sarcastic and at times downright intolerable. They did appreciate how effective you were in the field and Dr Cho had them well informed on how effective a doctor you were. As a result they tolerated you.
It was during a meeting that Director Fury lost his patience, not that anyone would notice it. You were talking about how they wanted to destroy all the available cover, “Where the hell do you expect me to stich you up when you guys get shot, or stabbed or fall from a tree” you said pointedly looking at Clint during the last one. “Can you at least leave these 3 walls standing?” you asked as you circled 3 small knee high walls. They weren’t much, but you knew from experience that they would be enough.
“Cover for you means cover for them” Steve said. You rolled your eyes as he continued, “We fall down we get back up, we get killed we walk it off.” Something inside of you snapped as memories of your time in the military flooded back to you, “Talk like that is what leads to me burring more soldiers, I’ve seen with my own eyes what one ass hole commander with an attitude like that can do, I’m not sticking around to bury any of you.”
Fury knew what you meant. You would have been happy to walk away from the avengers, you would have been more than happy to work at the hospital you regularly volunteer for. The only reason you stayed was because your friend Dr Cho wanted you to stay.
Fury also knew that you were the best doctor out there. You had once saved his life in the field with only 3 pens, a knife 2 bandages, a sewing kit and a bottle of whiskey. He knew you were right. He also knew Steve had a point. “I think you’re skilled enough to work around 3 knee high walls Steve”.
He asked Romanoff to stay behind after the meeting. “Nick” she asked as she took the seat closest to him. “Dr (y/l/n) is the best doctor to walk this earth, but” Nick said, before Natasha interrupted, “She’s a pig headed, arrogant bitch”. The look Nick gave her would have scared anyone, it even left the Russian feeling nervous. “I trust (y/n) with my life, and so should you.” He sighed, “I know her and it’s with your best intentions at heart that she is so distant and standoff-ish, but I can’t have her threatening to quit after every meeting because the team doesn’t like to listen to a few suggestions.” Natasha shrugged, though it shocked her slightly that Nick trusted you, “I don’t see what any of this has to do with me sir”. Nick looked at her before saying, “I need you to get the team to like her more, maybe get her to train again, because if she leaves” Nick sighed as he stood up, “you will be left burring your friends.”
That shocked Natasha more than anything. She couldn’t even force herself to think about burying the Avengers. She was also left confused, Dr Cho was here too, it wasn’t like they would be left without a Doctor. She sighed as she went to find you.
You were getting into your car when she shouted to you “Dr (y/l/n) wait”. You looked at your watch then back at her, “Do you have somewhere to go?” she asked as she got into the passenger seat beside you.
“I have to prep a patient for surgery” you said as you did your seat belt, “Is everything okay” you asked her. Thinking that she had some sort of medical issue that needed seeing to. “Fury assigned me to get people to like you more” she said as she pulled on her seat belt.
“I thought I explained to him that I can do my job better if you guys don’t like me” you sighed as you started to drive. “Why does it make you able to do your job better?” she asked, not seeing your logic. “It’s harder to operate on friends, it fucks you up in ways I can’t describe” you said as you thought back to everything that had happened. How many friends you couldn’t save.
Natasha looked at you as you drove. You were honest with her, and that was something she found surprising. Everyone she knew had a secret of some sort, that was the nature of her line of work. Everyone has secrets, but she asked you something, something deeply personal and you told her.
“So who’s your patient” she asked, assuming it was a SHIELD Agent. “Dr Patient confidentiality but….” You shook your head slightly. “But what?” Natasha asked. “But it might put her at ease if you met her, she’s quite a fan of yours” you said, careful not to give anything sensitive about your patient. That stumped Natasha, “I don’t really understand why anyone would be a fan of me” she said.
“Natasha, you give little girls someone to look up to, they look at you and they don’t see SHEILD or before” Natasha was looking at you intently, “They see a strong independent woman who kicks ass, without needing to be rescued like most of those bullshit princesses, whether you mean to or not, you teach them that they can be their own hero”. Natasha was silent, she had never thought of it like that before. She always thought of the past.
She was still silent as you pulled into the hospital. “You can wait in my office if you want” you said as you undid your seat belt. “Can I talk to her, your patient I mean” Natasha said, you caught her eye and nodded.
You filled her in on little Kara, you had always hated operating on kids. You knew how scary the whole process could be, especially for a child. Having a patient like Kara made it easy, she was bubbly and cheerful, and well, seeing Natasha would help keep her calm.
You prepped her as you, Natasha, Kara and her aunt (Astra) talked among your selves. Natasha was surprised, again, too see how soft and gentle you were towards Kara. It was entirely different to the abrasive attitude that the avengers knew so well. It was strange for you too, to see the stoic Russian be so friendly and gentle with the young girl.
Over the coming weeks you spent more time together. She understood what you meant by not wanting to become friends with your one day patients so she didn’t force you to hang out with the team. She told them though, about how you were doing it to make yourself better at saving them, about how gentle you were with the kids at the hospital. They listened to you more and respected you more. Even after she didn’t need to see you anymore, Natasha hung around.
One night she was on the balcony of the Avengers tower, just after a nightmare when she heard you. “Hey (y/n)” she said, still looking at the skyline of New York. “Hey Tasha” you replied as you stood next to her. Natasha felt calmer now you were there, it was a strange feeling for her. To feel like she could possibly be in love, after all these years of training she had started to think that the red room had broken that part of her.
Your hand brushed against her arm as you reached for the railing, “Christ Natasha you’re absolutely freezing” you said as you unzipped you warm hoodie and wrapped it around her. Natasha looked at you as you were doing this, there was something about the way you looked at her. Your eyes shone with concern but, there was something else. So she took a leap of faith.
She lightly pressed her lips onto yours, her shoulders relaxing with relief when she felt you kiss back. Eventually the two of you stopped, needing to breath. Natasha reached down and took your hand, “Your hands are freezing” she said as she pulled you in doors, along the corridor to her room. “I was wondering if you could stay the night?” she asked, your presence may just keep her calm enough to get back to sleep tonight. You nodded and smiled gently.
The two of you spent the rest of the night in each other’s embrace. A way you would sleep for many, many more nights.