Chapter 1
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Elphaba planted her staff firmly on the ground before leaning more of her weight on it, raising a brow in response to the dramatics unfolding before her. Fiyero had all but collapsed to the ground, panting heavily.
"How are you so good at this?" The prince closed his eyes against the dull throb that began spreading across the left side of his back. Elphaba had landed a perfect shot to his kidney after he chanced a remark, wondering aloud to rile her up, about what color her bruises would be once he, quote - "taught her a thing or two."
"I like hurting you," Elphaba deadpanned. "You're out of practice. Sparring with Boq is doing absolutely nothing for you." She leaned over, offering a hand to help him up and off the dirt, which he waved off.
Fiyero grimaced as he shifted, wiggling on the ground a bit more in discomfort. "No, no. I'm not ready yet." He groaned. "You've wounded me."
"What's going on over here?" Elphaba turned to see Galinda skipping over to them, staffing twirling in her hands momentarily before she stopped and kissed a green cheek.
Elphaba gestured broadly. “Have you no eyes, Galinda? I've wounded him." The blonde's giggles and thoroughly amused "Elphie!" filled the immediate area, drawing the attention of Pfannee, ShenShen, and their instructor.
Their instructor came closer - amusement coloring his features. "Master Tigelaar, do you need to be escorted to the infirmary?" Seeing an opportunity before him, Fiyero nodded woefully.
"Yes, sir, I believe so-"
"I WILL GLADLY ASSIST," rang out from both Pfannee and ShenShen. They turned to each other, the intensity of their silent communication via twitching muscles, eyebrows, and eyes captivating all around them.
Their sparring instructor's eyes moved rapidly between the two students and finally shifted to Galinda, baffled and mesmerized in equal measure. "Are they… asking each other questions?"
Galinda nodded. "It is unnerving, but you do get used to it with time." She toss-tossed her hair behind her and tapped her staff once audibly on the ground to get her two friends' attention. "My darlings, I'm sure Fiyero can make it to the infirmary alone. Or, with Boq's help, if needed?" She turned to look for the Munchkin boy she had spent the last ten minutes knocking to the ground herself.
Boq had limped his way over to the group, catching the tail end of Galinda's proposal. He nodded to the instructor and looked down at himself meekly. "I should probably go, too."
"Fine, fine. Both of you go." The instructor turned to face the rest of the class. "Let's go ahead and call it here before anyone else is..." he looked back at Elphaba with an eyebrow lifted. "Wounded, was it?"
"Yes, wounded," Elphaba confirmed, shooting a wink Fiyero's way as he slowly recognized his instructor and dearest friends were blatantly teasing him in front of the class. As Boq leaned down to help him stand, Fiyero winced and held a hand on his back.
"Such cruelty…" he woefully mumbled, trying to reign in a smile as he watched Galinda succumb to another fit of giggles over this extended scene. "We'll see you two later for dinner, yes?"
"Yes!" Galinda exclaimed, bouncing onto her toes and reaching forward to lace her fingers with Elphaba's. "We'll go get cleaned up, and then Elphie will help me with Madame Morrible's morribly morrible paper-"
"Careful," Elphaba warned, although quietly amused.
"-and then we'll pop down!"
"Ta, then." And with that, Boq and Fiyero limped away. The rest of the class had already dispersed as the four finished discussing their plans to meet for dinner, leaving Elphaba and Galinda alone on the sparring grounds.
Galinda leaned up to give Elphaba a quick kiss. "Hi, Elphie," she squealed, beaming at her. "I was amazing today."
Elphaba tossed her head back, laughing. "Of course you were. Come on, let's go," she said, tugging on the blonde’s hand to begin leading them to the equipment room to return their staffs. The girls exchanged snippets of their wins that day, with Galinda particularly entertained by hearing Elphaba recount the sound Fiyero made when he hit the ground.
Elphaba motioned for Galinda to leave the equipment room ahead of her so they could begin the journey back to their room when the blonde slowed her pace toward the door, distracted. Her eyes fluttered shut as her breath began hitching, drawing in the tiniest bit of air with each breath as her left hand came up to wave uselessly in front of her face. Elphaba still held her right hand and gave her a gentle squeeze in support, but she couldn't help cracking a smile.
Galinda was annoyingly adorable, always, but caught in the throws of a sneeze was probably one of Elphaba's top three favorite states to observe her in. Unlike Elphaba, who, when sick or suffering from excessive exposure to dust, would be overcome by fits of three, four, sometimes five sneezes at a time, Galinda had to fight for every single one. The tickle always teetering on the edge, the slightest interruption or distraction capable of throwing her off, leaving her stuffy, sniffly, and grumpy.
Which is why Elphaba could have kicked herself when she realized she had squeezed Galinda's hand as the poor girl was in the middle of a sneeze building. “Hehh… hehh…!” Then nothing, a defeated exhale leaving the blonde before she rubbed delicately at her nose.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Galinda," Elphaba said sympathetically, laughing a bit at the pout that came over Galinda's face.
"You mean thing," she playfully remarked, sniffling, before leading them out of the equipment room and back up to their suite. Once inside, Galinda busied herself by throwing her hair up into a bun and announcing she'd shower while Elphaba finished an advanced Linguification assignment.
Only a few minutes had passed before Elphaba heard a muffled "…hehhPtchii!" from the closed bathroom, further muffled by the sound of running water.
"There you go!" She called out, smiling as she heard Galinda's relieved "Finally!" In response, followed by the girl singing bits and pieces of the school song in her overly embellished fashion. Galinda emerged fifteen minutes later as Elphaba finished writing her last sentence. She turned around to ask about the paper Galinda said she needed help with before dinner and froze - not daring to breathe as she observed Galinda yet again in the throws of a blossoming sneeze.
“Hehh… hehh…” Elphaba bit her lip to keep her smile from turning into a laugh for fear of distracting Galinda once again. She's so cute. The blonde once again had her hand waving in front of her face, gently encouraging the sneeze to build and crest. Her nose twitched with irritation and her lips quivered for a moment as her breath became more labored. "Oh… Elphie, it won't… hehh h’hehh…!" Galinda froze completely, waiting, waiting… then her shoulders dropped, defeated. The tickle had left her, and she was again rubbing at her nose and pouting.
"This is most irritating," she grumbled, her voice slightly congested. She sniffed sharply before stepping behind her privacy screen to change. Elphaba leaned back in her chair, still having said nothing, watching Galinda move behind the screen. She knew it was very likely the sneeze would return if Galinda didn't get distracted. As the seconds passed, Elphaba heard another quick sniffle and watched as Galinda's shadow behind the screen turn to the side and stop.
Oz. Maybe I should look away. Elphaba felt herself blush as she realized she was essentially watching a very naked Galinda - albeit hidden behind elegantly carved wood slats and rice paper - get dressed without knowing she had an audience. Not that Galinda would mind, she quickly reminded herself, rolling her eyes. The blonde had gone so far as to scare Elphaba senseless by dropping her towel in front of her just the other night. "I want you to look, Elphaba," Galinda had whispered. "Why are you so comfortable touching but shy about looking?" She had pressed her naked body up against Elphaba, running a hand along her collarbone.
Elphaba was reduced to a sputtering mess, struggling for words, before Galinda finally took pity on her and kissed her firmly on the lips. "You. Can. Look." She sauntered away, moving behind the same privacy screen she was concealed behind by now.
Well, Elphaba was undoubtedly looking now. She watched as Galinda raised a hand inches from her face. She could see her lips part as the sneeze began to build, her head tilting back and back...
The useless hand-waving began again, and her breaths became more audible as the sneeze finally seemed to progress.
“Hehh…hiiH’h!…ohh… Hh’hhiih!….hehh’Ptchieww!” Galinda bent over completely, drawing her hand away at the last minute and sneezing openly toward the floor. Her sneezes were quiet, despite the squeak they always seemed to end in, but they were intense and appeared to take a lot out of Galinda every time one managed to come to. She straightened and gave a relieved sigh.
"Oz bless you," Elphaba said, a smile evident in her voice. Galinda whirled and poked her head out from behind the screen, only her smiling eyes visible. Her hair began to fall just a tad out of her bun—likely from the force of the sneeze. "Thank you, Elphie!" she sang back to her before popping back behind the screen to get dressed.
Elphaba chuckled and got up to gather their sorcery texts. "What did you want to focus on for Morrible's paper?" She called over her shoulder, flipping through two scrolls next to Galinda's books with the blonde's notes and some initial outlines for the essay.
"Hh'tchieww!"
Elphaba turned around, startled by yet another sneeze from Galinda. She saw her come around from behind the screen, dressed comfortably in linen pants and an oversized cardigan, buttoned completely but with…right, nothing underneath. Elphaba blushed a bit once she noticed. The blonde was rubbing her nose with her sleeve, and Elphaba noticed it was beginning to turn a light pink from all of the attention.
She had been opening her mouth to bless her and point out the unusual frequency of sneezes coming from the usually very non-sneezy girl when she saw Galinda's eyes flutter shut again. Elphaba frowned, watching Galinda surrender herself entirely to the oncoming sneeze.
"I can't… h’iihhh… hehh!" The sleeves of the blonde's oversized cardigan slipped over her hands as she held them out, cupped before her as she prepared to catch the sneeze. "I don't… hehh… know why hiihh'hhhHHH!" Her hitching breaths increased slightly in pitch as the tickle overwhelmed the poor girl.
And then it was gone.
She dropped her hands in defeat and threw her head back dramatically. "Oh, Lurline, whyyyy." When she lifted her head and brought her sleeve up to wipe gently at her nose, Elphaba was already stepping toward her with a sympathetic expression.
"Are you okay?" Elphaba asked, reaching out to touch her elbow and guide her toward her desk so they could begin to work on Morrible's paper. "I don't think I've ever seen or heard you sneeze this much. Certainly not in a single day." She glanced at the clock on the wall. "Actually, we're not even talking about a day. It hasn't even been an hour."
Galinda opened her desk drawer to pull out a handkerchief and tend to her nose properly. "I'm perfectly fine, Elphie! I'm just sneezy…" she lightly pinched her nose, never one to blow if she could help it, even if it meant she'd be sniffling endlessly.
Elphaba refrained from rolling her eyes. "Right, but why are you so sneezy?" She turned Galinda around to face her fully. "You don't have any allergies. Maybe you're coming down with something?" Elphaba suggested, prepared to field the onslaught of "Upper Uplands’ have the strongest constitutions in all of Gillikin, I'll have you know!" It would be said at least a dozen different ways a dozen different times, but it would ultimately convey the same thing - Galinda claiming until she's blue in the face that she does not get sick. Which to be fair, up until this point, has proven true. But it couldn't possibly be true…
Galinda scrunched her nose against the persisting tickle, using the handkerchief to rub her nose a little too roughly for Elphaba to tolerate. She reached out to grab the cloth from her with a gentle scolding, "Stop that." The blonde sniffed sharply again and pouted at her. "It tickles," she whined.
So cute.
"I know it does, but you need to be gentle with yourself," Elphaba explained, lifting the handkerchief and brushing it against Galinda's nose. "Your nose is already turning pink."
"Wait…" Galinda breathed, tickling Elphaba's hand. Her eyes fluttered but didn't shut just yet. "Do that again…" she lifted a hand to grasp the older girl's wrist, keeping it at her nose.
Elphaba tilted her head to the side, studying Galinda's face closely. She looked like she was about to… oh. Elphaba smiled, laughing lightly. "Oh, I see."
Galinda nodded absentmindedly, dropping her hand from Elphaba's wrist and moving both hands to lightly rest on the older girl's waist, stepping closer to her. Elphaba gently brushed the handkerchief against the blonde's nose, paying special attention to her septum where she'd seen Galinda occasionally touch to encourage a sneeze out at the last moment.
"Ohh… that's working," Galinda said softly, angling her head slightly, her hands absentmindedly opening and closing, bunching the fabric of Elphaba's sparring top she had yet to change from as she leaned closer to her. Maintaining the correct angle with how close Galinda kept gravitating toward her was becoming tricky. Still, again, Elphaba did not want to move her around too much to avoid distracting the blonde from her blooming sneeze.
Instead, Elphaba slowly wrapped her left arm around Galinda, pulling her closer and angling her body to face away from her just a bit so her right arm wasn't bent so awkwardly as she continued brushing the handkerchief just under the blonde’s nose, using one fingernail to run lightly up and down the bridge. This seemed to spark a new urgency as Galinda suddenly inhaled, eyes shutting tightly as the tickle took on new life.
“Oh! Ohh… hh’HH…hehh…Hh’hhH’HHiiH!” Elphaba brushed the handkerchief against her septum once more…
“It… tickles…” Galinda breathed, inhaling sharply once, twice…
"Hh'ptchiew!" Galinda sneezed suddenly, lifting a cardigan-covered hand and pressing it to her face, knocking Elphaba's hand out of the way as her head bobbed forward. Her eyes remained shut, breath continuing to hitch behind her hand - and she sneezed again, at the last minute, angling herself as her head bobbed forward in such a way where she ended up pressed against Elphaba's shoulder and neck. “Hehh…hh’pttschiiew!”
"Oh my," Elphaba laughed, keeping her arm wrapped around Galinda as she had yet to lift her head from where it lay on her shoulder, her hand still covering most of her face. "Bless you. Are you alright?" Elphaba was still chuckling over the whole episode but found herself melting a bit on the inside. Galinda’s desperate little breaths, her pouting, so badly wanting to do something as simple as sneeze. So, so cute.
Galinda sniffled a bit before pulling away, her cheeks a little red and her nose just as pink as before. Elphaba held out the handkerchief with a crooked smile. Galinda snatched it from her and brought it to her nose to pinch away any wetness before it became visible.
She glanced at Elphaba from behind her handkerchief as she finished tending to her nose. Her eyes crinkled slightly, and her dimple peeked out from around the fabric, letting Elphaba know she was smiling. "Thank you, Elphie," she said shyly, turning to her desk and reaching for one of the scrolls. "Now let's see…" Galinda trailed off as she began to review her outline for her sorcery essay, leaving Elphaba alone with her thoughts, admiring her messy bun, pink nose, and oversized clothing and reflecting on the last few minutes.
"You are just the cutest thing, you know that?" Elphaba finally said. Galinda didn't take her eyes off her scroll but allowed a coy smile to appear on her face.
"Yes, in fact. I do know that." She used the handkerchief to rub her nose once more before pulling out her desk chair to sit down. "Now let's get started on Madame Morrible's absolutely morriblymorrible-"
"Enough," Elphaba cut her off, laughing.
"…essay," the blonde finished with a smile as if she'd done nothing warranting admonishment. But, as they should have expected, yet somehow didn't, Galinda's breath hitched once more. "Oh no…Elphie…”
Elphaba sighed but smiled. Holding out her hand for the handkerchief, moving closer to the blonde. "Alright, cutie. Let's try this again."
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