Nightmares
Liv awoke with a start.
Immediately, she felt the cold creeping under her blankets. The fine hairs on her forearms tingled as they rose.
She could only hear the sound of her own breathing in the small tent, and the panels seemed to close in around her. Like a shroud wrapped around her …
Frantically, she run her fingers along her arms, her sides, her throat. Nothing. There was nothing.
She was fine. Everything was fine. It was over. She was still breathing, and she didn’t feel a sudden craving for fresh blood, which meant …
Liv drew a long, deep breath and wrapped herself back into her blankets.
The chill wouldn’t leave.
For a while, she tossed and turned under the sheets, trying to force sleep back, but it was no use. Everytime she closed her eyes, she found herself back at the chapel. She found teeth as sharp as needles snatching at her throat.
Eventually, she gave it up and rose, pushed the panels aside and crawled outside into the cold. It was even worse than inside the tent, but the chill brought life back into her limbs. It almost hurt, like needles driven into her skull that drove the remnants of the nightmare from her mind.
Almost …
“Liv? Everything alright?”
Liv nodded, she just moved to the side a bit. The snow beside her crunched a bit as Serana sat down.
“Why don’t I believe you? You’re paler than me, and that’s something.”
Liv barked out a laugh. “It’s nothing. Really.”
As if talking with Serana about her dead father was a good idea. Especially since Harkon wasn’t even among the truly dead for a day. When she looked north, she could almost see the castle in the distance (of course that wasn’t possible, the castle was hidden by magic, even now with Harkon dead, but still).
“It’s about my father, isn’t it?”
“Is mind-reading a vampire thing?”
Serana chuckled. “Just an educated guess … So it is about Harkon.”
“It shouldn’t … I didn’t have nightmares about Alduin. This just doesn’t make any sense.”
“These things don’t always make sense.” Serana shook her head. “I mean, is it strange that I feel so … He became obsessed with the prophecy, he would’ve sacrificed me and my mother for it! We were a family, and yet he found his dream of ruling over mankind more important than us! He needed to be stopped. I know that. There was never another way. And yet … is it strange that I feel about it? After all, he still was my father …”
“And he tried to rip my throat open with his teeth. I’m pretty sure that wasn’t meant to just … turn me.”
“Oh … You’re not … feeling different, are you? Weaker?”
Liv shook her head. “No. It was … pretty close call, though. But I’m fine. But when I woke up …”
“I do have potion with me, if that would make you feel better.”
Liv nodded. “Later, maybe. I … sorry.”
“For what? Using up a portion I don’t need anyway? I can’t get sick anymore, Liv.”
“It’s not that.” Why was this so difficult? She glanced over to Serana … her porcellain white skin, almost as pale as the snow. The amber eyes, glinting in the dark. Sharp fangs, glistening as she spoke. If that wasn’t a reason. “I don’t want to be a vampire.”
“And … Oh. Liv, that’s your choice. You shouldn’t change your mind about this just because of me.”
“It’s not a problem? Not a tiny bit?”
Serana laughed, and the next moment, Liv felt a pair of cool lips pressed against her cheek. Maybe it was just the cold, but she felt heat where Serana had kissed her.
Hopefully Serana thought it was the cold that turned her cheeks red as an apple.
“No. If you can love a thousand year old vampire, I can love a human.”
“Hm …” Liv hesitated for a moment, then allowed herself to lean against Serana’s shoulder. The taller woman wrapped an arm around her. Even when her skin was cool, in the chilly cold near the Sea of Ghosts, it felt like being wrapped in a warm blanket. Good. Maybe this was what safety felt like. Liv wouldn’t know. But it was a nice thought.
“So … you love me, huh?”
“Didn’t I say that before?”
“I think I’d remember if you did.”
“Maybe you misheard that. Maybe I said I could laugh about you or someth …”
“Oh, shut up, you.”
Serana laughed. “I’m pretty sure I meant what I said. Before.”
“About me too. I mean … that’s true. The part you said about me.”
“I know.”
Liv pulled a grimace. She would never get good at this stuff. For so long, it had just been her. The other people in her life, they never had had this important a role in it. Not even Sajjan, and she had cared about the Khajiit more than she probably should have.
But now? It felt … good, not to be alone. Maybe she could get used to it.