'Ow!' Bernie flinched as Serena hit yet another tender spot.
'Stay still. Heavens Bernie it's a wonder you ever managed to survive in Afghanistan if you managed to get burnt to a crisp in my back garden in England.'
'There we always wore copious amounts of suncream and were covered in uniform. Here I wasn't expecting to fall asleep in the midday sun. I blame you. I was more of a whiskey girl until you tempted me to the dark side of Shiraz.'
'If you'll recall the very first time we met you agreed that Shiraz goes perfectly with a fag.'
'You were the one with Shiraz on the brain. I simply agreed.'
And now you're the living personification of a lobster. Stay still! How I'm supposed to get this calamine on you without pouring it over my sofa with you squirming like a worm with its head cut off I don't know.'
'How on earth am I supposed to explain my half red, half white face at work? I look ridiculous.'
'Just tell them your girlfriend was having a nap on you.'
'I thought you wanted to keep this private for now?'
'You don't have to tell them it's me.'
'So I'm to fabricate some fantasy girlfriend. Oh this could be fun. Let's see now, she's supermodel tall, blonde, 25 years old, she speaks 4 languages and-' she was cut off by the lips that pressed against hers suddenly.
'Shut up.'
'Jealous of my fantasy girl? Because honestly you are my fantasy girl. Fantasy woman I should say. They'll surely guess from the shit eating grin I'd be sporting that my girlfriend is the most beautiful,most wonderful, most intelligent and funny woman I know. There will be no doubt in their minds that the only woman capable of making me so happy is you Serena. I love you.'
'I love you too. You can tell them it's the fantasy woman if you want. They're already going to ask questions about your hickey so why not wind them up.'
'What hickey?' Bernies hand flew to her neck. She knew they'd been hitting the Shiraz hard earlier but she couldn't recall an assault on her neck.
'The one I'm about to give you for being so beautiful.'