Angela sighed, as she looked out the car window. She tried to block out the sound of her husband and daughter, together in the front seat, talking science. Bugs, and particulates. As she vividly recalled giving birth to the child in the front, she knew that Coty was hers, but listening to her swap theories with her father – Angela would never know. Coty was 100% her father’s daughter, in looks (she had inherited the deep blue eyes, and curly brown locks), and in smarts (at 6 years of age, she’d already skipped to the 2nd grade in school, and was at the top of her class). There was no sign of the creative artist in that child, Angela was sure of that.
“Mom?” Coty asked, and turned to look at her mother in the backseat. “Are you listening?”
“Hmm?” Angela focused on her daughter’s face, bright with anticipation. “Oh, yeah sure, honey. I’m just thinking. But I’m listening, too. Go on.”
Coty turned around, and continued her conversation where she’d left off. Angela could see Jack’s blue eyes glance up to the rearview mirror, his look hard to read. Angela quickly adverted her eyes, and turned back to the window.
She and Jack were headed back to Washington, DC, for the first time in 6 years. It seemed to Angela like it had been longer, since she’d last set foot in the Jeffersonian, where she and Jack had worked, and fallen in love. And although she had tried to maintain contact with the friends they’d left behind, it had been hard, and she eventually gave up trying. They had moved on with their lives, lives without them, and she’d had a lot to keep her busy. A baby, who had been sick for the first one and a half years of her life, and then her involvement with a local art shop. She had stayed home with Coty, until she was 5 years old, and ready to enter kindergarten. And once Coty was out of the house, and at school, Angela had begun to put in more and more hours teaching, at the art shop.
She and Jack called Nova Scotia their home, now, not Washington, DC. It was where they had decided to move, to raise their family. And as she thought back on it, Angela couldn’t believe all of the changes they had made in their lives, all in such a short time.
It was after their wedding – the second one, to be exact. She had become pregnant, and Jack had suggested she leave her job at the Jeffersonian, and stay home to raise their child. She hadn’t wanted to, at first, and remembered the hurt she had felt, when Jack had first posed the idea to her. All through their relationship, she had thought that he knew, that he understood what her work meant to her. While, at first outset, she might have dreaded work, and dreaded the chore of identifying another nameless face, all of this had changed. She had grown to know the importance of her work, as a part of the team.
So for Jack to suggest that she “quit and stay home”, it had come as a shock to her. But in the first few months of her pregnancy, she’d become ill. At first, she’d just taken time off to recuperate, and to let her body adjust to the changes. But then Jack had been offered another position, one where he could run his own show, with an investigation unit out of Halifax. He hadn’t even asked her about it, but rather had come home one night, and said to her,
“We’re going to Nova Scotia, baby.”
She can remember the flash of anger, the feeling she’d gotten in the pit of her stomach. Again, he hadn’t asked her what she wanted, but had just gone and made a decision on his own. She was now his wife, and carrying his child, and saw no choice but to go along with him.
So she had said goodbye to her friends – those who were still around, anyway. Zack was still stationed in Iraq, having decided to ship out after their second wedding. Booth had let Jack hug him – again – and had urged them to keep in touch. Cam had been brisk, telling Angela that she appreciated her work, and all she had done for the Jeffersonian, and had wished her well.
But leaving Brennan, that had been the hardest part for her. Saying goodbye, on that last day, with Jack waiting in the car, their belongings packed into a U-Haul, and ready to move … that had been utterly heartbreaking.
To Angela, it had felt like she was leaving a lover, more than a friend. She had clung to Brennan, making the woman a tad bit uncomfortable, no doubt, and had cried into her blue Mylar lab coat.
“I don’t want to go,” she had whispered.
Brennan had grabbed hold of her shoulders, held her out at arm’s length. And said, “Then why are you?”
Angela hadn’t been able to give her a verbal response that day. Words were running through her head, responses that she’d had every intention of verbalizing. Because Jack’s going, and I’m going with him. Because I love him. Because I’m having his child, and we need to stay together, no matter what. Because, if I were in his position, he would come along with me. Because it’s the “right thing to do”. But none of those responses had seemed true enough, and so she’d resorted to grabbing hold of Brennan again, and saying nothing.
They had settled into their new home, in the tiny seaside town of Cole Harbour. Angela had tried to maintain contact with her friends at the Jeffersonian. She had called Brennan, almost daily, for those first few months, and up until the birth of her child. But after Coty’s first hospitalization, she had somehow lost the nerve to call. When she thought of Brennan, her life continuing on as usual back in DC, she had felt a pain in her chest.
In fact, she had been so mopey after Coty’s birth, that Jack had diagnosed her as having post-partum depression, and had urged the doctors to medicate her. But she hadn’t the heart to tell him that she wasn’t sad because of the birth, she was sad because of what she perceived as her loss of Brennan.
When Coty celebrated her first birthday, in the hospital, Angela had thought about calling Brennan to come visit. But by that time, she hadn’t talked to her in almost 10 months, and Brennan hadn’t made any attempts to get in contact with her either. So she’d assumed that she should move on, and that Brennan already had.
A year later, Booth had called Jack to tell him some devastating news. Zack had been back on his second tour in Iraq, identifying bodies in the makeshift morgue, when a roadside bomb had gone off. All of the crew had been killed, Zack among them. With Coty’s health still unpredictable, she and Jack had made the decision that it wasn’t safe to travel, and so they had declined the invitation to attend Zack’s funeral in Michigan.
The next four years passed quickly, or at least at this point they seemed like they had. It had now been just over 6 years since they’d left DC, and a little under 6 years since Angela had last heard from Brennan.
It was June, and Coty’s classes had just let out for the summer. Jack had a lot of holidays banked up with work, and it had been he who had suggested the trip to DC. “We’ll show Coty where we first met,” he’d said to her. And she can visit the lab with me, and see all of the great museums DC’s got to offer.”
Angela couldn’t say no to that. She also couldn’t say no to an opportunity to reunite with Brennan again. She wondered how much had changed for her. Was she still denying her feelings for Booth? Was she still gritting her teeth at being under Cam’s strict ruling? Did her the corners of her mouth still turn down when she doubted something being said? Did her blue eyes still sparkle and shine, when she was happy with her situation, or when she was speaking with somebody she really loved?
“Mom!”
Angela snapped back to reality. She realized the car had stopped, and Jack and Coty were getting out. “Where are we?” She asked.
“We’re here,” Jack said, his arm around Coty. “C’mon, get out. I’m taking Coty in to see my old workstation. Are you coming?”
Angela gazed out the window, and saw that they were parked in front of the Jeffersonian. How much time had passed since she’d started daydreaming, thinking back to the past? Had they really traveled all the way down to DC already?
“Hmm? Uh … no. No, I’m going to go for a walk first. Stretch my legs, you know? I’ll meet you back at the hotel in a few hours.”
Jack gave her a dissatisfied look, but shrugged and began to walk away.
She got out of the car, stretched, and stared ahead. The Jeffersonian loomed on the horizon, seeming larger than when she had last seen it. She couldn’t yet bring herself to go inside, to see the woman she hadn’t spoken a word to in all of those years. She just wasn’t ready yet.
* * *
Angela sighed as she sat the table, glancing out the window. It seemed that everything changed, when you stopped paying attention to it. She surveyed her surroundings, noting the large, patio-style tables, the folding chairs set up around them. This had once been Wong Foo’s, and then the Royal Diner. But it was now a trendy Italian-style bakery. And she was meeting Brennan here in … 10 minutes.
She had come early, thinking she might need some time to “sit and digest” what she’d learned the night before. She had gone walking, and hadn’t been able to bring herself to return to the Jeffersonian, and see Brennan there. Instead, she had gone to the hotel room that Jack had booked, and sat.
Jack and Coty had come in shortly after. Coty was exhausted, and talked non-stop about the people she had met. “That tall FBI guy” was super nice, she had said. “But he’s kind of strange.”
She’d also mentioned to Angela,
“Mom, a really pretty lady asked where you were. She said she was looking forward to seeing you, and seemed really sad that you hadn’t come in.”
Angela had taken this to be Brennan. But what Coty said next had thrown her for a loop.
“And then, Mom, this other pretty lady came over, and the two ladies – they kissed. Right there. But that’s okay, because there are all kinds of families in this world, and two girls can be a family together, just like two daddies.”
Angela turned to Jack, her eyebrow raised in surprise.
Jack had sent Coty off to the pool, which they could see from their hotel room balcony, and he had gone on to explain.
“It was Brennan,” he’d said. “And Cam.” When he saw the expression on Angela’s face, he threw up his hands. “I know. Right? I mean, when did that happen? I always thought that Brennan and Booth would eventually hook up, but … I guess that never happened. Who knew?”
But Angela had known. Of course, she hadn’t known that Brennan would end up with Cam, but upon pondering her own relationship with Brennan, Angela had always wondered if there was something more to it. More than just friendship. At times, before she’d become involved with Jack, she had wondered about Brennan – about the possibility of “them” being together. But she could never get a read off of Bren, as she’d always seemed too into her work, too busy playing with the sexual tension between her and Booth.
But Jack had gone on to explain that Booth had rekindled his relationship with his ex, Rebecca. Again. Only, this time, she’d gotten pregnant – after Booth had proposed. They were now married, and parents to not only Parker, but also a set of twin boys, who had just turned 4 years old.
“Hey, this seat taken?”
Angela looked up to see Brennan hovering above her table. Like a breath of fresh air, a tall drink of water, and every other metaphoric statement that she could think of – Angela felt her breath being taken from her chest.
She jumped up and hugged the other woman, holding her close, not wanting to let go this time.
“Bren,” she said. “Sweetie…”
When they had both been seated, their orders taken, and sodas set in front of them, Angela studied her. She looked as though she hadn’t aged a day – her face still smooth, and perfect. Her eyes seemed bluer – two deep pools of oceanic water, rippling with excitement. She’d grown her hair longer, and it hung down her back in waves, held from her face with a gold clip.
Angela thought of her own body, and appearance, and wondered what Brennan must be thinking of her. She’d put on a lot of weight when she was pregnant with Coty, and though she’d managed to lose it all, her body had never really been the same. Not that it mattered, of course. Jack hardly ever paid attention to her anymore, at least not in that way. For Jack – his life revolved around work, and Coty. She wasn’t sure where she ranked in his life anymore, but was certain it would somewhere along with the yard work, paying the bills, and the house taxes.
They made small talk until the meal arrived, and then silence ensued. Angela wanted to ask, but she wasn’t sure how to broach the topic. When it did come up, it was Brennan who spoke, calmly sliding Cam’s name into the conversation.
“We’ve just bought a house together,” she said, finishing off the Panini before her. “It’s really cute, you should come by sometime.”
Angela was silent before answering. “That’s … different.” She’d said.
“What?” Brennan looked at Angela’s plate. “Your sandwich?”
“No. I mean, you. And Cam. When did that happen?”
Brennan finished chewing, and looked straight into Angela’s eyes. “I don’t know. I mean, it just kind of … did. I had no idea she ever saw me as anything but a subordinate, and then one day … boom. She kissed me. We had gone out for drinks, to celebrate Booth’s wedding, and it was just Cam and I at the table. We were talking about something … Booth, maybe, and how we had both been with him.” Angela had interrupted here, but Brennan had assured her that her hook up with Booth had merely been “satisfying curiosity”. Everybody had hinted at a hook up between them ever since they had begun working together.
“So … what happened with that?” Angela had asked, and Brennan had told her that it just wasn’t sensational. No fireworks, no heat, just … sex.
“And with Cam?”
“With Cam it was … just … there. I mean, I had always seen her as just my boss, somebody I worked with. We had never really gone out together, outside of staff parties and the like. But at Booth’s wedding, I noticed her. You know? I mean, I really noticed her.”
Angela knew what she meant. Many years ago, when her heart had been broken by the death of a lover, she had really “noticed” Brennan. They were out in the desert, and Angela’s heart felt crushed, and thensome. But Brennan had been there for her, she’d been there to hold, and comfort her. And that had been when Angela had known. She loved Brennan, as more than just a friend. She really, really loved her.
Brennan went on to explain how she and Cam had taken things slowly, after that. The relationship was new for both of them, and neither was really sure what to expect from it. But once they knew they had something, they’d told people at work. And were shocked, when nobody had overly negative reactions to it. Even Booth, whom Angela had thought for sure would have a reaction along the lines of Jack, had been cool with it.
“And how about you,” Brennan asked, again staring into Angela’s eyes. “Are you happy?”
Angela couldn’t bring herself to answer, at first. She pondered the question, weighed her options, and headed into it. “I don’t know,” she said. “I’ve got a great kid … Coty’s super smart, and she’s a really sweet girl. And Jack … Jack is … well, he’s never around much.”
“Do you regret marrying him?” Brennan asked, blunt as always.
“I … I don’t know if I regret that so much,” she said. “I just think … I wonder, sometimes, you know? Like, is this how I really saw my life? Married, with a kid, and a life in a small Canadian town? It just all seemed to happen so fast: Jack’s interest in me, our courtship, and then suddenly he was asking me to move in with him. And then marry him.”
“It was sudden,” Brennan agreed. “I remember trying to talk you out of it.”
Angela’s brow wrinkled, as she narrowed her eyes. “You didn’t ever try to talk me out of it,” she said.
“No, I did,” Brennan pushed on. “Out of the marriage, I mean. I don’t understand why you need to piece of paper to prove that you love each other. It seems a little much.”
“Well, anyway … I sometimes think of how else my life might have turned out. If I’d made different choices, I mean. Been with different people.”
“Other than Jack?”
“Yeah, other than Jack.”
Brennan grinned. “Like one of your numerous boy toys, from your clubbing days?” It was her turn to raise a brow Angela’s way.
“Yeah, boy toys, or … girls.”
“Girls? What ‘girls’?”
Angela laughed. “Oh come on, you knew. You knew that I had that … affair with the courier.”
“Toni?!” Brennan exclaimed. “The one Jack and Zack were fighting over?”
“Well, she did choose me,” Angela said, defensively. “And I figured, hey … why not.”
“But that’s the only girl you’ve … ever …”
Angela sighed deeply. “No,” she said. “I mean, yeah, the only girl I’ve ever really been with in that sense. But not the only girl I’ve ever had feelings for.”
An uncomfortable silence lapsed between them, and Brennan cleared her throat.
“I just feel … like I don’t know you anymore, Bren,” Angela said, quietly. “It’s like so much has changed, and evolved, and I haven’t been around to see any of it.”
“Things do change, Ang,” Brennan said. “And sometimes they don’t go according to your plans. Sometimes, if you just let life give you what it’s got to offer, you’ll find that it may be better than anything you had hoped for. You might even end up happy somewhere in the end.”
Angela let out another deep sigh. She glanced down at her shoes, avoiding Brennan’s eyes, which she felt probing her.
“Well…” Brennan began.
“Yeah,” Angela supplied. “I should really let you get back to work. Can I walk you there?”
“Sure.”
They got up, paid for their meals, and walked out into the sunshine. Down the street, a loud banging noise could be heard, and Angela shaded her eyes in an attempt to see what they were approaching.
“Condos,” Brennan said, pointing to a freestanding building, currently surrounded by men in yellow hats. “They’re knocking down this old place, and putting up condos. Cam and I looked into them at one point, but … well, she wanted a backyard.”
They had stopped walking, and as they watched, a loud bang erupted, and what was left of the building came crumbling down. Almost immediately, a cry could be heard near where they were standing. Angela thought it sounded eerily like Coty had, in her first few months of life, when she’d been fighting colic.
“My god…” Brennan began, and raced toward the edge of the construction site.
Angela followed suit, and noticed the crying sound got louder, the further she walked. When she reached Brennan, she saw that the woman was cradling something in her arms. As she knelt down beside her, Angela saw that it was a kitten, probably not more than a few weeks into life.
“Oh, no…” she began.
“No, she’s alive,” Brennan said. She took off her sweater, and wrapped the shivering creature in it. “But she might need some medical attention.” She prodded at the kitten’s tiny body, wincing as she touched one of the feet. “I believe she’s crushed her metatarsals and phalanges in this leg,” she reached for the other back leg, and said, “possibly in this one too.”
Angela stood up, hands on her hips. She stared down at Brennan, saw the concern cross her face, as she gazed at the injured creature in her arms. And at that moment, she felt the weight of all she’d lost. Brennan was with Cam now, and she was with Jack. She had missed her window.
* * *
Later that night, Cam came across Brennan, standing in the dining room, perfectly still.
“What’cha got there?” She asked.
“Poor thing,” Brennan said, lips in a pout. She gazed down at the kitten, swaddled in a blanket, her two back legs encased in neon pink casts. “She had nobody to love her. Nobody to want her, and keep her safe.”
“We’ll love her,” Cam said, wrapping her arms around the other woman. “We’ll keep her safe.” She kissed Brennan lightly on the temple. “What should we call her?”
Brennan thought for a moment. She knew this animal would be in their lives for a long time, and that, as Cam said, they would love her, and make her a part of the family. A name popped into her head almost immediately.
“Angela,” she said. “I think we should call her Angela.”