Surviving Maveth

Jemma squeezes her eyes tightly. She doesn’t want to open them and see that Daisy is not here with her. She feels the cold linoleum against her cheek. It’s wet. She hadn’t realized when she started crying. She should feel comfort; she should feel joy at being back. But she doesn’t. She feels empty.

She should be with Daisy.

Her heart constricts and her body feels heavy. She’s not sure if it is due to the change in environment or the guilt. A gentle hand touches her back and she flinches.

“Jemma?” Fitz calls out tentatively.

She wipes her eyes discretely though she’s sure she fails to hide the tears. Jaw clenched and fists balled up, she sits. Her eyes hurt, the lights seeming blinding, everything too bright. As her vision adjusts the figures before her begin to clear up. An inkling of happiness warms her heart to see her family.

Coulson, May, Bobby, Hunter and Mack. Their smiles tinted with an edge of despair. Her family is incomplete.

Daisy should be here.

Her heart clenches again. She turns to Fitz, a smile of relief on his face, a smile that would have brought comfort in the past but now she just feels empty. She feels lonely in the room filled of people she longed to see.

Now she longs to see Daisy.

Her eyes water and she turns away from Fitz unable to look at him. She should’ve stayed. Her eyes linger to the pile of rubble on the floor and she stills. She can’t breathe.

“No!” She screeches as she launches towards the pieces of rock on the floor. “Daisy!”

She grabs a handful and watches as the grains of sand slip through her fingers. Dust. It can’t be. She has to fix this.

“Jemma you need to calm down.” Fitz urges as he tries to remove her from the debris.

She thrashes against his arms and elbows him in the face. He yelps and falls back. She doesn’t feel any guilt at the moment for hitting Fitz; all she can do is stare at the remains of the monolith. Her breathing is uneven and she can feel the signs of a panic attack but she can’t command her brain to relax. She has to find a way to get to Daisy.

“No, no, no.” She whimpers over and over. Her fingers trembled as she picks up the sand, trying, willing it to remain intact, to form back into its original form.

“We have to sedate her.” She hears someone say.

Before she can protest there is a prick on her neck and her vision begins to fade to darkness. She wants to scream, she wants to cry but the exhaustion wins. She feels her body slowly succumb to darkness but her heart beats loudly in her chest, it screams for one person.

Daisy.

…

She wakes up feeling as if she’s been ran over. Momentarily, she forgets where she is at as her arm slings to the side only to find an empty space. She opens her eyes and feels her heart break once more. She releases a shaky breath as she sits up. She’s in the med bay and Fitz is sleeping on a chair next to her bed.

He wakes up slowly but jumps up when he sees she’s awake.

“Jemma.” He makes a movement to hug her but stops and instead he holds her hand.

She stares at her hand unable to stop herself from comparing how it’s rougher, larger, different. But she squeezes his hand back because it familiar, it’s warm and it’s Fitz. She offers a smile though she’s pretty sure it comes out more like a grimace.

“I’m glad you’re okay.”

Her smile drops. She’s far from okay and she hopes that Daisy is.

“We need to find a way to bring Daisy back.”

She moves to stand but he stops her with a hand on her shoulder. He frowns and she narrows her eyes at him.

“You need to rest and we need to run some test. We don’t know how being in a different planet impacted your body.”

“If you think I’m going to lay on this bed while-”

“We’ll get Skye-”

“-Daisy-”

“-Daisy back soon. I’m already working on it. I promise.”

Jemma lays back but she is far from calm. She needs to trust Fitz, it is only a matter of time before she can leave the med bay and focus on getting Daisy back. Fitz sighs in relief seeing that he has managed to convince Jemma for the time being.

…

It takes a week before Jemma is cleared. To say she is livid is an understatement. Anything can happen in a few days in that god forsaken planet that is haunted by that monster. She walks to the lab feeling restless. She hasn’t slept well, her bed feels cold and nightmares plague her. Just the thought that Daisy could be…

She shakes her head willing those thoughts away. Daisy is strong, she has powers and Jemma promised to go back for her. She intends to keep it.

Fitz is already in the lab when she steps in.

“How is it coming along?” She asks as she glances at the monitor that Fitz is working on.

“I,” he pauses trying to mask his uncertainty, “It’s coming.”

She nods but she doesn’t buy it. Fitz has never been a good liar.

“We’ll get her back, I promise.” He reaches out to hold her hand.

Jemma nods. She trusts him and she wants to believe him because she doesn’t know what she’ll do if they don’t get Daisy back.

…

The nights begin to roll one into another. She’s up before everyone and the last one to head to bed. Most nights she has to be dragged out by Fitz or Bobby. On rare occasions May will come in. All she needs to do is gave Jemma the look and she’s gone to her room before May has the chance to throw her over her shoulder and lock her up in her room like she did the first time. She’ll spend five hours max in her bed sleep 3 if she’s lucky.

She’s running herself thin but Daisy needs her. She needs Daisy.

On this particular night Fitz has left her alone an hour ago with a sigh of annoyance. She’s not sure if it’s due to their lack of progress or at Jemma in general. But Jemma refuses to give. She refuses to break. Finally with a sigh she turns off the computer after saving her work.

She knows her friends are worried about her but it’s been almost two months and she has not gotten any closer to finding a way back. She makes the lonely trip back to her room, her feet shuffling due to exhaustion and evasion. Her hand reaches for the knob but she stops.

She can’t do this.

She can’t go back into her room and pretend that everything will be alright. She can’t lay there another night and miss her companion. She can’t.

Instead she makes her way down the hall and stops in front of another door. She wishes she would open the door and be able to find the owner sitting there and smiling back at her. She opens the door.

Empty.

She releases a shaky breath as she walks in and sits on the bed. She doesn’t bother to turn on the lights. Though she has adjusted better her eyes still feel sensitive to the brightness and in the darkness she can pretend that she’s still back with Daisy. She glances at the little hula girl on Daisy’s nightstand. The one she gave to her before heading to Afterlife. She puts it back and lies down.

The duvet smells old, like dust. She wishes it could smell like Daisy but there is no trace of her and Jemma cries as she clings to the pillow.

Jemma’s running. Everything is dark but she knows where she is at. She needs to find Daisy. Her chest feels tight but she can’t stop.

Not until she finds her. Not until they’re safe.

And then everything changes. She’s not sure where she is standing. There’s dust and she squints as she tries to figure out where to go.

Then she sees it.

She stands stock still as the figure in the dark cloak looms unwavering a few feet before her. The robes swish in the air a hood covering its face.

“You’re too late.” It whispers.

No. She can’t be. She shakes her head. The figure pulls the hood down and she gasps. Familiar brown eyes are now cold, hallowed and pale cheeks, it can’t be. Her heart thumps wildly and she falls to her knees with a shriek.

“Daisy!”

She wakes drenched in cold sweat. Her breathing is labored and it takes her a moment to register the hand on her shoulder. She turns and almost thinks it’s Daisy when she sees the dark eyes. But she shakes her head to clear her vision, her head.

“May.” She croaks with a forced smile.

“Come on.” She orders and walks out.

Jemma, still shaken, takes a moment before following. She finds May in the kitchen with two cups of tea already ready.

“Thank you.” She murmurs as she takes a cup and a seat but unable to look May in the eyes. She doesn’t want pity. She doesn’t need it. She needs Daisy.

She sips her tea thinking she might need coffee if she’s going to get through this day. But the guilt is always there. She has a warm bed, she has options of food and drinks, and she has the sun. She has her friends and the safety of the base. What does Daisy have?

“You should talk to Andrew.” May pulls her out of her thoughts.

Jemma looks up wide eyed. But there is no pity there, there is only understanding. She doesn’t want to argue so instead she nods.

“I’ll think about it.” She murmurs as she goes to make herself a coffee.

She doesn’t need help. She needs Daisy.

…

Another month passes and Jemma begins to lose faith but she can’t resign herself to the idea that Daisy may be lost forever. But Fitz is still there, comforting and helping her. He hasn’t given up when everyone else seems like they have.

The fourth month comes with the monolith long forgotten. They begin to research other ways to get to the planet.

“I know you’re worried about Skye-”

“-Daisy.” Jemma corrects.

“Daisy,” Fitz corrects himself, “But I was wondering, I mean we never got a chance to, would you like to go to dinner with me?”

Fitz ramble would be endearing if he wasn’t putting her on the spot, if she still wasn’t so stuck on Daisy. He waits nervously, his smile slowly turning into a frown with her lack of response. Jemma loves Fitz, she does but not the same way she loves Daisy. But Fitz is here and he’s helping her. He’s the only one who hasn’t given up; he’s the one keeping her sane. She shouldn’t but she does because shes's afraid of losing him.

“Okay.”

Her voice is low but he catches it and sighs in relief. I grin covers his face. They go out that night. A restaurant that Fitz reserved only for them, candles everywhere. It’s romantic but she feels like she’s betraying Daisy. The atmosphere is so awkward that Jemma wants to run and crawl into her bed.

It’s when he tries to lean in and kiss her that she breaks. She moves her head so that his lips land on her cheek and the tension is there. The tears fall and Fitz is dumbstruck on what to do.

“Jemma.” He whispers desolate.

“I- Daisy.” She chokes out unable to explain to him. She’s afraid of losing him.

“We’ll get her back I promise but you don’t have to put your life on hold because of her. She wouldn’t want you to do that.”

And it’s true. Daisy would want her to be happy, to move on. But she can’t. With a broken heart and tears streaming down her face she tells Fitz everything. She tells him about the planet, the monster, their near death experiences and how she and Daisy grew closer, the hideout, the bones and Captain Will Daniels' diary; everything.

He listens to her, sadness evident but he stays and Jemma loves him a little more for that. She wishes she could reciprocate his feelings.

“We’ll get her back.” He offers at the end of her story. She sees his hand move to grab hers but he stops himself.She really wishes she could love him, he deserves so much.

…

They stage an intervention. She would have found it comic had it not been for her continuing weight loss and the dark circles around her eyes. She knows she looks almost haunting but her looks are the last thing on her mind right now. They take turns talking as she stares at the wall with a blank expression.

“You need to be okay for when we get Sk-Daisy back.” Coulson finally says.

It’s a low blow, using daisy against her. And she wants to scream at them because they’ve given up long time ago. But she agrees mostly to get them of her back. Mostly for Daisy who's going to need her support when she returns. She’ll see Andrew if it’ll give her family some peace and she'll be allowed back into the lab. She'll see Andrew even if she thinks it's a waste of time.

Time.

Time is what she doesn't have. It’s been five months without Daisy. She barely managed to survive the whole ordeal with Daisy by her side. But Daisy is alone in that planet, she has no one.

She feels upset to be sitting in a chair across from Dr. Garner. It’s a waste of her time and for the most part she tunes him out.

“-she might not be alive.”

Jemma barely catches the words and she gives him hard look. “Excuse me?”

He takes a deep breath, “I was telling you that you have to consider the possibility that Daisy might not be alive.”

She stands up abruptly, the arm chair sliding a few inches back. She’s livid. They haven’t been much help and here they are assuming the worst. How is this suppose to help her when instead they're only tormenting her more.

“Don’t you dare-”

“-Jemma-” He tries to calm her.

“-assume that you know Daisy or me or anything about that planet. You weren't there." Her chest is heaving. "I came to you for help not to have you, to have you-” She chokes on her words.

And she runs. She runs from Dr. Garner but she can’t run from her fears because though she’ll never admit it she has considered the possibility. What if she's too late?

She refuses to see Dr. Garner again after that.

…

She loves Fitz.

He’s a genius and she’ll be indebted to him forever. He uses Captain Will Daniels to trace the history back to NASA back to the sponsor and eventually back to a medieval Castle in England and along with Jemma’s calculations they finally have a plan. Jemma’s body feels tense with anxiety the days leading up to the execution. She feels hope but she is also beyond scared that it’ll fail, scared that Daisy won’t be there.

There’s an argument beforehand about who will be going through and who will stay back. Fitz wants Jemma to stay but Jemma argues that she knows how to find daisy, she hopes she can. There is still so much room for error and miscalculations. Their plans are thwarted when they see that HYDRA has infiltrated the castle. Ward is there and Jemma feels her blood run cold.

She’s not going to let him ruin this for her.

She jumps into the portal right after Ward, Mack follows and so does Coulson, the rest stay back to guard the portal and deal with the rest. As soon as she lands everything becomes familiar, the absences of light, the dust and the sky. She glances back to see Coulson engaged in a heated battle with Ward. She wastes no time as she sets off in a sprint to find Daisy, they only have so much time before the portal closes. Mack trails behind her and catches up to her in seconds. She recognizes the area noting that they are not that far off.

Bang!

The loud noise throws her off. Jemma’s blood runs cold as she stops for a second. She hates that she has become very familiar with that sound. She runs as fast as she can, her heart beating wildly in her chest. She spots the latch. She opens it and goes inside.

“Daisy!” She shouts breathless. She’s scared but she dashes towards where their bed is and stops.

She forgets to breath. She’s sure her heart has stopped. She can’t feel her limbs as she crumbles to the floor. Her body shakes and she begins to hyperventilate as the tears fall. Frozen as she stares at the blood on Daisy’s head, the blood that stains the sheet beneath her.

“Skye!” She registers Mack’s deep voice as he rushes to her. He places his index and middle finger on her carotid artery. “She’s still breathing!”

The words snap Jemma out of her state and she rushes towards Daisy. She pushes down the urge to vomit at the sight of the blood. The first thing she sees is the bullet on the pillow, bent and used. She takes of her jacket and uses the sleeves to tie it around Daisy’s head. She notes that the blood that stains her hands is warm. She finds herself torn between guilt for not arriving earlier but thankful that she wasn’t too late, that Daisy is still breathing.

“We need to get her back to the base quickly.” She tries to sound strong but her voice wavers.

Mack nods and picks her up with ease. Ascending is a little trickier but they make it back without a hitch. She only glances once at Ward’s still body on the floor, his eyes open void of life. Coulson rushes them in and Jemma thanks whatever higher being there is out there as they make it through the portal in time.

Jemma prays that it’s not too late for Daisy.