“Maybe we should just be friends.”
Alex reluctantly suggested to Tobin one night after she had invited Tobin over to her dorm for about the eight time that week. (Yes she was aware that there were only seven days in the week and she was a college student at that, but Alex greatly enjoyed what Tobin did with her hands and mouth.)
Alex fought to get these words out, seeing as Tobin had entered the room with an all too familiar glint in her eyes, one that eventually lead Alex to be writhing in ecstasy maybe about 23 hours prior to this encounter.
Tobin’s face faltered as Alex delivered her opinion, carefully taking a seat on Alex’s bed.
“Really?” Tobin started to ask, “I thought we had something good going.” She finished, running her hand slowly through her dirty blonde hair.
Technically, Tobin was right, Alex reasoned. They weren’t just fuck buddies, sometimes Tobin would take her to dinner and pay for them both, they would occasionally curl up in Tobin’s bed and illegally watch whatever movie was popular; Sometimes Tobin would take her to the park and their pinkies would brush together until Alex grew tired of Tobin’s antics and they would happily hold hands until they had to separate. Other times, they would just sit on the park bench, watching people in their own little worlds walk past, Alex’s favorite though was when they would feed the ducks and Tobin would without fail give a few extra pieces of bread to the fat brown duck which she nicknamed Nugget; They didn’t even have to be doing anything at all. Sometimes Alex would sit at the far end of her bed, pretending to study for whatever test it was that she had, but she would usually just end up watching Tobin deftly sketch in her art pad.
Yeah it was good, BUT THAT WASN’T THE POINT. Alex quickly decided, pushing those thoughts back into the deep crevices of her brain.
“You’re a great person Tobs but I’m not …” Alex drifts off.
“You’re not …” Tobin mirrors, searching for Alex’s lost words.
“I’m not gay.”
Tobin’s eyebrows raise at this, she’s in a state somewhere between, shocked, annoyed, and downright amused.
“You’re not?” Tobin asks, trying her best to stay neutral about the whole situation.
“No.” Alex says, as if trying to convince herself.
Alex wasn’t supposed to be gay, she was valedictorian in her high school class, prom queen, voted most likely to succeed and most likely have a hot husband. She was definitely not gay. Yeah, she played soccer, and occasionally made out with Tobin, but that surely didn’t make her gay, she was just …
“You can like girls and not be gay, there’s like, so many labels to choose from, or you could not label yourself at all, or you could be a Tobinsexua-“
“Tobin!” Alex interrupted, closing her eyes at her own loudness, “I don’t like girls.”
“So, what have we been doing for the past two months? It doesn’t actually fit the title heterosexual.”
“We were just – I wasn’t thinking. I’m not gay. End of discussion. Just, give me some time alright, before we go back to friends, and nothing more, because I’m not gay.” She says again with finality in her voice.
“Alright.” Tobin breathes before walking out of Alex’s dorm, leaving behind her scent, and thousands of memories for Alex to replay in the coming weeks.
**
Three weeks. Alex hadn’t talked to or given so much as a short smile to Tobin in three weeks. Of course they saw each other at soccer practice, but both Alex and Tobin made it their business to be as far away from each other as possible.
Three weeks, is all it took Tobin to forget about me, she angrily mused as she sat disdainfully at her post on the kitchen counter, watching Tobin chat up some brunette at one of their soccer team’s spontaneous parties.
Alex couldn’t stop thinking about Tobin, when she was awake, she daydreamed about their walks in the park and when she fell asleep she dreamt about their more pg 13 encounters. Tobin haunted her thoughts to no end over those agonizing three weeks, so much, that Alex had finally gotten a grip on reality, maybe she wasn’t gay, but she sure as fuck had feelings for Tobin Heath.
“Hey Al, what’s up, you look like you’re about to shoot laser beams out of your eyes.” Ashlyn joked, following her line of sight to Tobin and the mystery brunette.
Ashlyn let out a hum of realization. “What happened to just friends?” She asked.
“I’m reconsidering.” Alex said simply, averting her eyes when the brunette leaned in a little too close, causing Tobin to lose her balance and fall directly into the girl’s arms.
“Hey! She told you ab-“ Alex tried to ask, but Ashlyn was long gone.
Alex took the opportunity to instead poor herself a shot.
“To Just Friends.” She mocked, letting the clear liquid burn her insides.
Fixing her gaze back on the party, Alex was appalled to find that Tobin had taken to whispering into the brunette’s ear, much to her apparent pleasure.
“Fuck them” Alex murmured, taking another shot. And then another, and another, and another and then three more after that, before Kelley intervened.
“I think you’ve had enough of this.” Kelley said, moving the bottle far out of Alex’s reach.
“Fuck you.” Alex mumbled, “And fuck Tobin too! And that stupid brunette that she’s been eye fucking all night. She has nothing on me. Have you seen me Kel? I’m fucking flawless.” Alex says, standing up and taking a twirl.
“Yes Alex, you’re the most beautiful belle at the ball. But didn’t you say you wanted to be just friends?” Kelley asks, pushing Alex back into her seat.
“I say …” Alex says, taking a long break, clearly feeling the effects of her shots, “A lot of shit I don’t mean. Remember when I told you you were pretty that day after practice? You looked like shit. NO offense.” Alex says laughing.
“Yes I remember, because seconds later you said, “You look like shit Kel.””
“Well anyways, stupid Tobin and her stupid flannel, and her stupid snapback, sooooo doesn’t know what she’s missing, but you know what? I’m gonna go over there and show her. Come with me.” Alex says deliberately pulling Kelley along with her into the middle of the room where a few people started dancing.
Alex makes a scene, whooting and flailing her limbs, like it really took that much to get Tobin’s attention. Alex had her attention from the moment she walked into the door, Tobin’s brunette companion was only a well sought out distraction to keep her from doing anything stupid.
Alex takes to vulgarly dancing with Kelley, dancing much closer than someone who was just dancing with a friend. She expertly swayed her hips along to whatever was coming from the speakers and Kelley was there to match her movements, much to Tobin’s disapproval. Alex was enjoying herself so much, that she even forgot what her true intentions were; That was until she felt a pair of strong arms tear her from Kelley’s grip and purposefully lead her down the hall into an unoccupied bedroom.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Tobin’s thick voice asked.
“Having fun.” Alex replied innocently, looking up at Tobin.
Tobin stared intensely at her, “Are you trying to make me jealous?” She asked, the side of her lip pulling into a smug grin.
“No.” Alex said, growing increasingly turned on at the way Tobin’s eyes bore holes into hers.
“Are you sure? Because, pulling Kelley onto the dancefloor, and making a scene about it, doesn’t exactly scream subtle.” Tobin says, gradually closing the distance between them.
“Maybe … You should get over yourself. Not everything is about you.” Alex challenged.
“Are you sure, because, I can go right back out there and finish talking to the nice young lady who was keeping me well occupied all night.” Tobin smirked, knowing she had Alex beat.
“Or … I can stay here.” Tobin started, pressing Alex against the door frame with her own body. “And you can keep me well occupied for the rest of the night.” Tobin finished, sweeping Alex’s hair to one side of her neck so she could place a purposeful kiss on her pulse point.
“Fuck.” Alex breathed out, closing her eyes at the contact.
“That’s not an answer Alex.” Tobin said, pulling away slowly to look at Alex who still had her eyes closed.
“Okay, I was trying to make you jealous.” Alex whispers, eyes still closed, trying her best not to overexcite herself at the feeling of Tobin’s body flush against hers.
“Why?” Tobin asks, hands already roaming to the hem of Alex’s shirt.
“Because, I know what I want now.” Alex whispers again, biting her lip as Tobin’s warm hands trail up her back to unclasp her bra.
“And what is that?” Tobin questions, withdrawing her hands from Alex’s body so that they rest on the door on either side of Alex’s head.
“You. And Me. Maybe you can even be my girlfriend.” Alex offers, finding a moment for a joke.
“I’d like that. So are you going to ask me? Or do I have to wait another three weeks?” Tobin chuckles.
“Ugh, Tobin, will you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?” Alex asks, faking annoyance.
Tobin delivers a long, slow kiss in response.
“That’s not an answer.” Alex mocks.
“Yes.” Tobin replied, giving Alex another meaningful kiss.