Journey to Madness
Gamzee’s POV:
“So where do I begin my story? Oh yes, my childhood. It all started in a dark place where no light could enter, and where my conscience was limited by the motherfucking instincts that compose human psyche. Eventually, the alien presence of light entered the aether and took me to that wicked place we call reality. I am come to the world in blood and sorrow, and the first sound I heard was from a maternal entity calling for help in a guttural language that everyone can understand without ever understanding what it means.”
“Are you talking about…”
“I am just messing with you sis. You should have seen your face when I was being poetic about coming out of my mother’s nook. Sadly, I never met the woman; she died after giving birth to me, and it was up to the big man to take care of me. Not so much work considering he never dared to enter my room and speak to me.”
Years ago, but not so many.
Age 3:
“Dad?”
He must be outside the house. Why does he goes outside the house? There are toys and food here, and the television shows the same funny cartoons everyday. What can be outside of these doors?
“Whoa!”
What is thise green thing in the floor? It looks like vegetables. Agh, it doesn’t taste like vegetables. Oh what is this? Is this thing a toy? It is a bug you think. It doesn’t look as colorful as the bugs that appear in the magical box where cartoons appear. Oh, it is squishy. It feels strange to have it’s pieces spread in your palm… why isn’t it moving again? It was moving before, why isn’t it moving like it did? Oh, maybe because you moved its legs away after squeezing it. You move everything together so it can start moving again.
“Move.”
It isn’t moving. IT ISN’T MOVING! Oh, another bug!
“Funny.”
It is coming out of a strange thing. Colorful wings come out of it, and then it flies away. Your brother told you about something called miracles. Is this a miracle?
“Miracle!”
Everything is so beautiful. Bugs dying, bugs changing, bugs being beautiful. Everything is a miracle.
Today.
“Then everything hit the fan once I got to school to meet other kids.”
Age 7:
“Hey, retarded!”
A group of kids approaches you. You have being watching a snail walk through a bench all recess.
“Wassup.”
One of them pushes you off from the bench.
“Are you going to cry?”
“Nah. I am ok.”
One of them takes the innocent snail and smashes it in the ground.
“I heard he is a fag too. Only fags wear facepaint like a clown.”
Why are they kicking you on the floor? Is this a game? This isn’t funny! Unless… you have to play too!
Today:
“It turns out they were bullying me, and I just considered hurting them was part of the game. I did get in trouble after I broke the arm of one of them, and the principal ordered my dad to take me to therapy. However, the big man took me instead to an old colleague that worked as a high school professor. He wasn’t a good person. Doc Scratch experimented on my mind like if it was a sick game, and I kind of lost myself.”
Age 16:
“Gamzee, calm down!” your bros shouts at you.
“I can’t bro, I mean sis. I really can’t ignore the fact that youy have been a bitch all this motherfucking time.”
You rip apart her shirt, revealing some miraculous boobs that you want to touch. “Seriously, look at you, you have been hiding yourself so selfishly.”
“I am not a girl, I am a boy, Gamzee!” She covers hers bossom with her arms and cries. “I thought we were friends!”
“Bros before hoes, but you are a hoe.”
She just ran away. Just like Terezi did. Just like Tavros did.
Today:
I screwed up my friendship with Karbro, and now I am aware that I should have respected his boundaries as honorary guy, even if he is screwing a guy that doesn’t have any MOTHERFUCKING RESPECT for Juggalo culture. However, I must say that the day that I truly became insane was the day that I lost everything I knew from the beginning. After my brother went to live his own life with his girlfriend, I was still in that old household with our already paranoid father. He became so obsessed with keeping his business going, and feared everything that could change how things were doing, that he started being more severe. He punched my back with his knuckle brassers on two separate occasions, and I still have a scar in my chest from the time he put off a cigarrete on it. Once he snapped at me for one of my usual stonner antics, he was finally going to end me, but then…”
Age 18:
“Motherfucking miracles!”
Shit really hit the fan this time. Now the Makara Mansion is one fire, and your dad is burning to a crisp. On the floor of the main room.
Today:
“Surprisingly, the court took well that I killed him in self defense, and nobody else got hurt in the big fire. Since then I have been consuming antidepressants, and because of my inheritance I can afford medical help, and sometimes weed. So, what do you think about my story, doctor?”
Dr. Tenenbaum is screaming, but the sock you put in her mouth is muffling her. She can undo the rope ties you did in a few hours of struggling, so better relax and continue narrating your life to the good doctor.
“After finishing this therapy, I plan to travel the world and meet new people. There is a guy named English hiring goons, and maybe I can become his main associate. I like the idea of being entrepreneurial and shit. Maybe a nice purple suit and a green tie. That will work for me. Well, my uber taxi is arriving. See you the next time I have another insanity attack.”
You live the building singing one of your favorite songs of all times:
“Rise with the moon, go to be with the sun. Early to be and you will miss out the fun. Bring your wife and trouble and they will never trouble you. Make her a member of the midnight crew! Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah!”