Don't leave me(Just hold me).

Erin laid on the bed staring at the ceiling again, she was tired of crying, she was tired of being sad, she was tired of being depress but how could she stop? The love of her life left and it's been 3 days since she last saw her, she said she cheated on her but...Holtzmann wasn't like that. Erin knew that Holtzmann used to hook up with girls but she changed when Erin came into her life, and Erin was aware of that. Even Abby was aware of that, after knowing Holtzmann for many years, she knew how Holtzmann could be with women but she noticed how Erin changed her. Erin knew that Holtzmann was hiding something, but what? Of course she didn't cheat on her...did she? No. Holtzmann was not like that. She changed. And not just Holtzmann changed.

Erin didn't believe in love and thought it was stupid, she thought that it was better if she just focused on work and forgot about love, her work was more important than love. Of course she hook up with a few guys, well...just 2, never with women even tho she knew she was into women. But Holtzmann? She changed all, she was the first woman she ever dated and it was the best, it was better than men, it was better than anyone, Holtzmann was perfect for her, she was way too perfect and real for her. Erin thought that maybe she was going to mess up but she didn't...weird. 2 years, almost 3 years with an amazing woman, with the love of her life, with this mad engineer but...something ruined all. Something she didn't believe. Holtzmann didn't cheat on her. She didn't.

"Erin?" Abby opened the door.

"Leave."

"I'm not leaving."

"I said leave!" Erin yelled and looked at Abby, throwing a pillow to her.

"Oh that's going to hurt me really bad." Abby shook her head and walked to Erin.

"Why don't you just leave?"

"Cause I'm not leaving you just like you decided to not leave me twice."

Erin stared at Abby got a few moments and felt tears in her eyes again. "I-I...I don't get it...Jillian...s-she s-said-"

"She loves you, Erin."

"Then why would she say that?! Why would she just leave and leave me like this?! It's been 3 fucking days, Abby! 3 and I don't even have a call from her! I know nothing about her!" Erin sobbed and covered her face.

Abby sat beside her and held her. "We know Holtz, Erin, I know Holtzmann loves you very much."

"I just really don't understand what happend, everything was ok, everything was perfect and out of nowhere she acts this way and then she just disappears. I'm worried about her and I don't fucking know where she is."

"Did you try to call Dr. Gorin?"

"I tried but she's not answering. I also tried to call Holtz."

Abby sigh. "I'm sure she's got a good reason to be like this."

Erin hugged her legs and sigh. "Do you think it was because I told her I wanted to marry her?" Erin looked at Abby with tears in her eyes.

"It wasn't for that, baby." Patty said leanin against the wall and looking at her two friends.

"Do you know something about Jillian?"

"I don't but...I do know something." Patty walked to the nightstand beside Erin and opened the first drawer. She grabbed a little box and gave it to Erin.

Erin grabbed the little box and opened it. She gasped and looked at Patty. "W-What? H-How-"

"Remember the day I wanted to give you my ring? I did it because I wanted to know your size for Holtz, she asked me to help her and she was so nervous, she was freaking out when we bought the ring and you know she doesn't freak out. She loves you, Erin, we bought the ring the day you guys went to the market, she was so excited and so nervous, she wants to marry you, baby. I don't know what happend to Holtz, but all I know is that she loves you, and if she recovers, I know she will kill me for showing you this, but I think you needed to see this."

Erin covered her mouth and cried even more. "But then what happend to her? Why would she lie to me?"

"Maybe she talked to someone and she just felt down." 

"Let's go ask Kevin. He stayed with Holtz for a while after we left." Abby said looking at them. They both nodded .

***************

"Kev, you stayed with Holtz the last night she stayed here, right?" Abby asked Kevin.

Leaving thought for a moment and then nodded. "Yeah, 3 days ago. We were looking for treasures on the trash just like she calls them." Kevin smiled.

"And after that? What happend?"

"Um well I wanted to stay a little more but she said it was fine and that she was staying for a little while and then leave."

"And when you left, did you see someone?" Patty asked.

"There was a man, he asked for Holtz and I let him come in."

Erin stared at Kevin for a little while. "Kevin...how was the man that you saw?"

"Um...tall, blonde, blue eyes..." Kevin stopped. "Oh no..."

Abby and Patty stared at each other and then at Kevin and Erin. "What?!"

Kevin looked at Erin. "Erin...I'm-"

"You let him in, Kevin! How could you?!" Erin cried and left as fast as she could leaving the two ghostbusters staring at the door.

Abby looked at Kevin. "What is she talking about?"

"It was Holtzmann's father...and I let him in." Kevin stared at the floor.

"What?"

Someone knocked at the door and Patty opened the door. "How can I help you?"

"I'm looking for Jillian." He smiled.

Kevin looked at the door and stood up. He walked as fast as he could and grabbed the man, he throw him against the floor. "What you did to her?!"

He laughed. "What?"

Kevin punched him in the face. Patty covered her mouth. "Kevin!"

"You hurt Holtzmann! Why?!" Kevin kept yelling at him, he was angry something no one ever saw.

"She deserved it."

Kevin punched him in the face again. "You hurt my sister and now I'm hurting you!"

"Kevin stop it!" Abby grabbed Kevin by the arm and pulled him up.

Holtzmann's at her stood up and cleaned his lip. "She deserved it and she deserves more than that."

"What did you do to her?"

"What I had to do a long time ago. Show her that man can be better."

Kevin punched him in the face again and he fell to the floor."Kevin stop, you're going to kill him!" Abby grabbed him by the arm again.

"He hurt Holtzmann, I'm going to hurt him."

Abby never saw Kevin this mad, maybe Kevin was kind of stupid and dumb but damn, when he cared about someone, he REALLY cared. Abby knew how much Kevin loved Holtzmann, after all Holtzmann was always letting him help him, they played together like little kids and they looked for 'treasures' together for hours, she knew that Kevin had fun with Holtzmann and Kevin always referred Holtzmann as his little sister even tho Holtzmann seemed to be the older of both of them, that was kind of obvious. Abby took a step back and looked at Kevin.

"Hurt him. He deserves it."

Kevin pinned him against the wall and punched him one more time. Patty grabbed her phone. "Keep going, baby. I'm calling the cops and you, asshole, will fucking die in jail for what you did to Holtzy. You should have stayed away. You hurt Holtzy, we hurt you." 

***************

Erin waited impatient for someone to open the door. She looked around and saw a beautiful neighbor. Erin smiled a little and then looked in front of her waiting for the door to open. Dr. Gorin opened the door and looked at Erin standing in there.

"Erin."

"Hello...I'm sorry, I just um-"

"You are here to talk about Jillian."

Erin looked at her and nodded. Dr. Gorin stepped aside to let Erin in into her house. Erin walked to the living room and sat in front of Dr. Gorin. "I um...I haven't know anything about Holtz and I'm really worried."

Dr. Gorin nodded. "Water? Coffee?"

"No thank you."

"I'm sorry for telling you this, sweetie but it seems like you really need a coffee." Dr. Gorin giggled.

Erin smiled a little for the first time in this 3 days and nodded. "I'll accept a coffee."

Dr. Gorin smiled and lead her to the kitchen. Erin sat on the chair and rested her arms in the courned. She looked at her and waited for her to finish. Dr. Gorin walked to her with a cup of coffee and sat in front of her pulling a chair so she could sit. "I was actually waiting for you to come. Jillian came here."

Erin's face light up a little. "Is she here?"

Dr. Gorin shook her head. "No...she went to the market."

Erin looked at her cup of coffee. "Oh, alright."

"That gives us time to explain you some things that I'm sure Jillian hasn't told you, not because she doesn't trust you but because she's scared."

Erin looked at Dr. Gorin. "I'm listening."

Dr. Gorin sigh. "I know I'm not the right person to tell you this but you have to know this." She cleared her throat. "When I found Jillian in the streets, I felt something in my heart that was telling me to bring her home, I've had seen her before at school, she was smart but then she stopped going to school and I found her. I offered her to stay in my house, after that, I felt it was right for her to stay with me. She lived with me for like 8-9 years and I enjoyed all those years a lot, I never got married and never had a daughter...Jillian was and is my daughter. She told me everything that happend in her life. She told me she wanted to be a engineer in physics, she believed she could create new things that no one ever created, she sure did, for years and I helped her." Dr. Gorin laughed a little and so did Erin. "Jillian was so smart and so kind, I saw her laughing, crying, suffering, happy, I knew everything about her. I was so proud of her, it hurt when she left but, I had to let her go, of course I was still communicating with her, I didn't want her to forget about me." She sigh. "When her father went back to her life...she suffered a lot, he used to lock her in her room for hours without food or even water, Jillian really suffered with him and Jillian didn't have anyone. This happend for many years until he decided to kick her out. Jillian really suffered a lot."

Erin sigh and looked at her. "Why are you telling me all of this?"

Dr. Gorin looked at her. "Because I know that her father is in town and I know he did something to her. I'm not sure what because she doesn't want to talk about it but I know something is wrong and I know it has to be with him."

Erin nodded. "I-I...Jillian kind of told me some things about her past...and I really want to make her happy. I don't want her to suffer anymore."

"You don't believe that she cheated on you?"

Erin shook her head. "I don't. I know that she used to hook up with a lot of girls but I know she wouldn't do it now. I believe she loves me and I hope I'm not wrong."

Dr. Gorin shook her head. "I know she does, she really does, Erin."

Erin smiled a little. Erin looked at her hands. "I really want to marry her and I want you to help me to talk to her. I really need to talk to her, I want to help her and know what happend so I can do something."

Dr. Gorin was about to say something when she heard the door. She looked at Erin. "Go up the stairs!" She yelled/whispered to Erin. Erin did as she said and waited in the stairs. "Jillian?"

"Yeah, I got everything you asked." Holtzmann walked tot he ktichen and left all the bags on the counter. She looked at the cup of coffee. "You had a guest?"

"Oh I did but she already left." Dr. Gorin smiled and grabbed the cup.

Holtzmann nodded and sat on the chair. She looked at her phone. "They've been calling all day again."

"Jillian, I think it's time you talk to them."

"Probably...but not to Erin."

Erin felt a punch in her chest and covered her mouth. "Why not, Jillian?" Dr. Gorin asked.

"Like I said, I cheated on her."

"I don't believe that." Dr. Gorin shook her head.

Holtzmann looked at her. "Well, do it."

"Tell me what really happend, please."

Holtzmann felt tears in her eyes. "H-He raped me."

Erin felt her heart stop and gasped. "What?" Dr. Gorin asked surprised. "Who?"

Holtzmann sniffed. "My father." Holtzmann felt tears in her eyes and let them fall. She sigh. "3 days ago, Patty, Abby and Erin left, I-I stayed because I needed to finish something and Kevin stayed with me but then I told him to leave and I heard my father in front of me and we were arguing and...h-he wanted to hurt Erin. I couldn't let him do that. Erin is my entire life and I-I wouldn't forgive myself if something happend to her."

"Jillian." Dr. Gorin sigh and took her hand. "Why didn't you tell me sooner? Why didn't you tell her? She's your girlfriend."

"I don't think she's now. I told her that I cheated on her." Holtzmann wiped her tears off and sigh.

"But you didn't."

"I did."

"Jillian, he raped you, he forced you. You didn't agree to this."

Holtzmann covered her face. "But now I lost her, I-I lost her and I feel so bad for that because it's not fair for her. I love her, I love her so very much that it hurts." Holtzmann sniffed. "And I wanted to ask her to marry me."

"What?"

Holtzmann nodded. "I wanted to marry her, I bought the ring." Holtzmann shook her head. "The ring is on her appartment." Holtzmann cleaned her face and sigh. "I need to go pick up my things. I bet she's on the firehouse right now so I need to go for my things." Holtzmann stood up.

"Jillian, wait." Dr. Gorin stood up but Holtzmann already left. She looked at her right and saw Erin walking to the kitchen, hugging herself and tears rolling down her face.

"That asshole raped her..." Erin looked at Dr. Gorin and shook her head. "I'm going to kill him." 

"Erin, don't. I'm going to the police to report him."

Erin sigh and nodded. "Alright, I um...I'll go talk to Abby and Patty so they can report him too."

Dr. Gorin nodded. Erin was about to leave but Dr. Gorin grabbed her by the arm."Wait...did you know she wnated to propose to you?"

Erin nodded. "Patty told me this morning, I-I need to go fix this."

"Don't do something you'll regret."

Erin nodded. "Thank you, Dr. Gorin."

"Call me Rebecca please." She smiled and hugged her. "Go for her."

Erin smiled a little and left.

***************

Erin closed the door and looked at Abby and Patty talking with Kevin. "Guys?"

Kevin looked at Erin. "Erin-"

"I know, I'm sorry for how I reacted."

"We need to tell you something, Erin." Abby looked at Erin.

Erin looked at her. "Is it about Jillian? Is she here?"

Abby shook her head. "No, but we know something."

"The asshole of her father raped her." Patty said with anger on her voice.

Erin nodded. "I know that, I talked to Dr. Gorin."

"Also..." Patty looked behind her. "We have him here."

"What?" Erin looked at Patty.

"We were not letting him go and the cops said they were coming but it's been like an hour since then."

Erin looked at them. "Where is he?"

"He's upstairs." Kevin said.

Erin walked up the stairs as fast as she could and found him laying on the ground, bleeding and handcuffed. He looked at him. "Erin, what a nice surprise." He smiled.

Erin walked to him and punched him on the face. "You're going to hell, you will fucking die in jail and you will regret this, I'll make sure of that. You fucking raped your daughter, YOUR DAUGHTER! I know you never wanted her as your daughter, I know you never loved her, but she is your daughter and you should be proud of her, because she's an amazing engineer and she's better person than you, I can assure you that. You fucking hurt her and now, you will pay for that. I hope you die in jail." Erin punched him one more time and walked to Patty and Abby who were standing in there just staring surprised at Erin. "I'm going to look for Holtz, Rebecca said that she was going to the police, he's going to pay for this."

Abby nodded. "Good luck."

"Thank you." Erin smiled a little and left.

Love: a four-letter-word that gets tossed around in conversations pretty carelessly to describe just about anything. I love your shoes. I love this restaurant. This dog totally loves me. But what about when it comes to relationships? What does it really mean to love someone? Love means accepting another person in the strongest way possible. It means supporting them in anything and everything, even when you may not agree on the situation.Love means not looking for something better or seeing what's out there. It means committing to that person because you know they complete you in every way. It doesn't mean being a replica of another person, but rather being like a puzzle piece that fits perfectly with the other. Your traits complement each other to create better versions of you both. Love means waking up early and whipping up pancakes in the morning just to show you care. It means going out of your way to make them smile and, without even thinking about it, dropping everything for them in those times when smiles aren't appropriate.

Love means screaming at the top of your lungs sometimes. It means caring so damn much about that other person that you can't help but become furious when your relationship is called into question. It means fighting to get it back. Love means smiling for no reason at all, and giggling from the tickle of butterflies flying around in your stomach. Love means not needing constant contact, in person or via text, to feel secure. It means trusting them in every way possible and earning their reciprocal trust in you. Love means loving yourself, too. It means always being your organic self and never shifting to fit another person's standard. It means sleeping tight at night knowing that someone else knows just as well as you do how perfect you are in all your imperfections. Love means gazing into their eyes for hours that feel like minutes. It means breathing coolly when you're all wrapped up in their arms and becoming one with their heartbeat when your head is pressed up to their chest. Love means giving in to an awesome power that brings two people together in the craziest ways. It means waiting, sometimes for a long time, for the stars to align. It means persevering through horrible dates and dull chats in line at the coffee house until you get your turn with it. It means surrendering control to a greater force and staying along for the ride. That's what love meant for Erin now. Love for Erin meant something now. Jillian Holtzmann was the love of her life and she was not letting her go. Not in a million years so yes, she was fighting for their love and she was going to be there for Holtz no matter what, she needed her now and Erin was not leaving her alone.

***************

Holtzmann sigh and grabbed her head for the third time. "Where the fuck did I leave the fucking box?" Holtzmann looked on the drawers. 

"Holtz?" Holtzmann froze and looked at the door. "Holtz you home?"

"Shit." Holtzmann closed the drawer.

Erin walked to the room and saw Holtzmann standing in there. "Jillian..."

"I have to go, I just came for my things."

"No." Erin closed the door. "You are not leaving, Jillian."

"I am."

"I said you're not, we are talking. You can't just leave me for 3 days. We need to talk."

"I already told you, I cheated on you, what else do you want me to say?"

"I know you didn't."

"How you so sure about that?"

"Because I was in Rebecca's house when you were talking with her. I was her guest but she told me to hide."

Holtzmann froze and swallowed hard. "Erin."

"How do you think I will leave for that? Jillian, it was not your fault."

"H-He touched me, h-he...I-I couldn't...I just-" Holtzmann covered her face and cried. "I'm so sorry."

Erin walked to her and hold her. "It's ok, let it out." Erin kissed her forehead. "He's not hurting you anymore, he's dying on hell, did you hear me? Everything is alright."

"I won't forgive myself if he hurts you."

"He won't, he left. It's just you and me now, baby." Erin sat with Holtzmann on the bed and held her for a while until Holtzmann looked at her.

"I'm so sorry." Holtzmann whispered.

"We'll get through this together, alright? I won't leave you, Holtz. Neither will Patty or Abby or Kevin. We are here for you."

"You're really not leaving me?" Holtzmann looked at her with puffy eyes.

Erin felt tears in her eyes and shook her head. "I'm not...not in a million years. You are stuck with me. Jillian I love you more than words can explain it, you mean the world to me and I just can't live without you, you are the best thing that has ever happend to me and...I really don't want to imagine my life without you, Holtz. "

Holtzmann smiled and chuckled. "So are you, I'm afraid to tell you."

Erin chuckled and caressed her cheek. "We'll get through this, baby, I promise everything is going to be alright. We'll work on this together."

Holtzmann smiled and kissed her lips lightly. Erin kissed her back slowly and sigh. It's been 3 days without kissing her crazy engineer and damn it, she missed this so much. Holtzmann wrapped her arms around her neck and pulled her closer, she needed Erin closer to her. Holtzmann pulled away and rested her forehead against Erin's.

"I love you." Holtzmann smiled.

"I love you more." Erin smiled. Erin looked at Holtzmann. "What were you looking for?" 

Holtzmann sigh. "I lost a little box that I needed and-"

"You talking about this one?" Erin pulled the little box out of her pocket and Holtzmann froze.

"W-Where did you find it?"

"You need to find more places to hide things, nighstands are not good places to hide things." Erin chuckled.

"Erin, I-I...shit. I didn't want you to see this, it was a surprise but then this happend and I just...fuck."

Erin shook her head. "Babe, it's alright, it's not your fault and I still love you, you know?" Erin smiled.

Holtzmann sigh and smiled a little. "I was jsut hoping to propose in a better way and without you finding out that I wanted to propose to you."

"You still want to do it?"

Holtzmann nodded. "If we're being honest, yes. I still want to marry you."

Erin looked at Holtzmann and handed her the box. "Do it."

Holtzmann looked at her. "What?"

"Do it. It doesn't have to be perfect." Erin smiled.

Holtzmann looked at her and smiled. She grabbed the box and cleared her throat. "Well...you know I'm not good with words but..." Holtzmann looked at her. "Erin I love you and...what happend it will be really hard to forget but I know I'll get through it because you'll be there, you will be by my side and...I'm just so lucky to have you in my life, I love you so much, Erin and I seriously look forward to live in a house with lots of kids and cats and dogs." They both laughed. "I look forward to die by your side, I just want to spend my whole life with you so..." Holtzmann knelt in front of Erin and cleared her throat. "Erin Gilbert, would you accept to be my wife and get stuck with me for many many years?"

Erin laughed and nodded. "Yes, I would love to." Holtzmann put the ring on her finger and Erin hugged her, they fell to the floor and laughed. Erin kissed Holtzmann and smiled. "I love you so much, Holtz."

"I love you much more, baby." Holtzmann smiled and kissed Erin once again.