Chapter 1
“Thankssomuch! I owe you one!”
Sawamura Daichi barely heard his friend as he screeched over his shoulder and ran in a full sprint down the hallway, back in the exact direction from which they came. He followed the receding figure until he disappeared around the corner.
Hinata, his friend and long-time co-worker, had warned him in the car on the way over that they might have to wait in line at some point during the day, which was, as he put it, "pretty boring." When the time came, Daichi was more than happy to volunteer to hold their spots. To an outside observer, it might've looked like an altruistic gesture, and Daichi kept his ulterior motives to himself. The first one was that the idea of a buzzing, bored Hinata bursting at the seams made him shudder. He got more than enough of that at their store. The second motive was a little selfish, but Daichi needed a break.
He slumped against the wall, next to the double doors that Hinata had pointed to, and took the opportunity to catch his breath. It was less crowded in this area of the convention center, a hallway without tables, posters, and signs, and Daichi was grateful. Working at the mall for as many years as he had acclimated him to crowds, but this event, the comic con, was a different monster entirely. As opposed to the mall crowd, which was full of empty, hurried faces and bad, scratchy music from overhead speakers, the convention crowd teemed with life and vibrancy and it overflowed into every nook and cranny of both the physical space and Daichi’s headspace.
In the relative quiet of the hallway, he tried to recalibrate by watching the smaller groups of people that congregated around the rooms next to his and across the way. He liked the way that they seemed more focused on each other, tucked away from the siren songs of merchandise and celebrities and sweat and shouts. They laughed, fixed each other's hair and adjusted the straps of their costumes and posed for pictures. He didn't recognize many of the costumes that people wore, but so many of them looked professionally outfitted, that he mentioned it to Hinata and he had explained that most people made their own outfits and props. Some dedication, Daichi marveled aloud. He never really strayed into the world beyond textbook enthusiasm, but he was glad that other people did.
When he had bought Hinata passes for his birthday, he didn't think Hinata would turn around and ask him to go. It was exciting and fun and new, and watching Hinata scream with people that shared his interests was interesting, but Daichi didn’t quite get it and he felt out of place in the throes of all the passion around him. In front of him, a woman twirled in a long gown across the hall, and the white fabric cut through the awful taupe of the hallway like a blade. Flashes of her pink wig caught his eye as she spun. Daichi looked down at his favorite Van Halen shirt and furrowed his brow. All in all, Daichi decided, the whole comic convention thing was a lot to handle, and he was glad to have the experience, but doubted he would ever willingly attend another.
People plopped down on the ground next to him, and then another group next to them, forming the semblance of a line. It grew around him and snaked back and forth into the hallway, so he checked his watch. There was still a half hour until the talk or panel, he corrected himself, started. Daichi pulled the rolled convention schedule out of his back pocket and re-read the text circled in thick, red sharpie.
‘Upcoming LGBTQIA Creators’
There was a short paragraph underneath it with the names of those participating in the panel, but Hinata had circled one name so many times that Daichi couldn’t read the rest. Kageyama Tobio. Daichi had heard this kid’s name so many times over the past couple of years that he swore he would never forget it. He’d probably forget his spouse’s birthday and still remember his name.
He put the pamphlet back into his pocket, crossed his arms over his chest, and contented himself with the smiles of others and the laughter that percolated in the air around him until he heard his name shouted from the end of the hallway. Hinata bounded toward him with at least three new bags.
“How was it?” Daichi asked when Hinata dropped the bags at his feet and wiped the sweat off his brow. “Was there a secret comic con marathon I didn’t know about?”
Hinata laughed. “Basically! I wanted to make sure I saw as many of the artists as I could. It was so freaking cool! They’re so amazing, like WOW.” He motioned like something was blowing up and then grabbed the sides of his head like he couldn’t believe what he had just seen.
“I’m glad.” He eyed the bags at Hinata’s feet. “I see you’re already taking advantage of that raise you got last week.”
“Ehhh, I might’ve gone a little crazy,” Hinata admitted, “but it was totally worth it! People will buy my art someday, so it’s like karma, or something, OH!”
Daichi cocked his head and watched Hinata rummage through his purchases. He popped up with a small button in his hand, outstretched toward Daichi.
“I got this for you!”
The character on the pin was so famous that even Daichi recognized him, but, despite knowing the character, he squinted in disbelief. “Captain America?”
Hinata nodded enthusiastically. “I was gonna get a Hulk one, but the artist sold out of them right before I got there.”
“The Hulk? Really?”
“Yeah! Because you’re always super angry at work.”
He said it without malice and more like it was a universal truth, which made Daichi roll his eyes. “I’m only angry when you and Tanaka knock over whole shoe displays in front of the regional manager. Or rough house the new merchandise. Or get volleyballs stuck in the ceiling. Or jump over the counter at customers and scare the living shit out of them, oh,” Daichi frowned. “Am I really mad that often?”
Hinata shrugged. “Kinda, but we deserve it most of the time. That’s why Captain America was my second choice.”
Daichi gestured for Hinata to finish the thought because he didn’t make the leap.
“Well, you get mad, but you never fire us. And you even took the blame for the shoe display. And you got me these passes for my birthday! You’re the best manager. Like, ever.”
the u
Daichi grumbled about the shoe display, how he had gotten at least three lectures from the regional manager, but the compliment seeped through the unpleasant memory. He brought his hand to his face to cover the blush. No matter how many times it happened, Hinata’s straightforward praise and twinkling eyes left him momentarily speechless, which made it easy to forgive him. He pulled Hinata in and rubbed the top of his head until words bubbled up in this throat. “You’re a piece of work, y’know?” Hinata giggled and Daichi let go. “And you didn’t have to take me. Here, I mean. I got you two tickets so you could take someone,” he motioned to the groups around them, “that could appreciate all this more.”
“I wanted to come with you! We haven’t hung out outside of work in a long time,” Hinata pouted. “And Tanaka agreed to watch the store for the day! It’s perfect!”
The mention of Tanaka looking after the store by himself made Daichi’s stomach flip. Tanaka was responsible, most of the time, but his energy didn’t take much to spark and, once it did, it snowballed out of control like a fire during a drought. He trusted Tanaka, truly, but it didn’t stop him from asking Michimiya to keep an eye on the store from her shoe store across the way. And it didn’t stop him from telling Ennoshita that he would pay him to check in on Tanaka every couple of hours.
Daichi pushed his anxiety toward the back of his mind and looked down at the button in his hand, taking care in pinning it to his shirt. Hinata looked at the line behind them and Daichi followed his gaze. “So this panel is a pretty big deal, huh?”
Hinata looked at him with his mouth open for a couple seconds before he brought a hand to his jaw and closed his mouth with an exaggerated pop of his lips. “Daichi! This is Kageyama Tobio’s first panel ever! Of course it’s a big deal!”
“I guess I didn’t realize he was actually famous. Are all these people here for him?”
“I dunno, maybe. I’m don’t know a lot about the other people on the panel,” Hinata ran his hands through his hair and looked Daichi straight in the eye. “All I know is that I love him.”
“You love him,” Daichi repeated.
“Uh, duh!” Hinata pointed at the newest tattoo on his arm. Daichi remembered the bandage, but he hadn’t had the chance to really look admire his newest piece. Hinata had so many tattoos up and down his arms and crawling out from under his shirt that it was hard for Daichi to keep track. But, now that Hinata was standing in front of him with an expectant look on his face, he leaned in to get a closer look.
A girl with long, dark hair stared up at him. It was incredible; the darkness of her hair enveloped her, like the night itself held her upright. Her skin glowed and she had scars around her neck, like she had been strangled, or hung. It was gruesome and more than a little eerie, making him grimace slightly, but the expression on her face drew him in. Her gaze was a moment of serenity in a storm, or the eye of the tornado. It was breathtaking.
“Did you draw this one, too?” Daichi asked.
Hinata shot Daichi his most wounded look. “I draw all of my tattoos! You know that!”
He did know. Hinata never stopped drawing, whether it was on napkins at bars or task lists at the store. “It’s really beautiful... but what does this have to do with Kageyama Tobio? Or were you just antsy to show off your newest piece?” Daichi nudged him playfully in the side.
“NO. Fine. Maybe a little. But, yeah, she has lots to do with Kageyama! She’s the main character from his latest book. I read it like ten times and each time she became clearer and clearer in my head and I couldn’t get her out until I filled an entire sketchbook,” Hinata sighed contentedly, like he was reliving a dream and not hours and hours of wrist-breaking labor. “He’s really talented.”
Daichi looked at him and made sure to catch his eyes before he spoke. “So are you.”
“I know,” Hinata groaned. “But I’m so obsessed with him.”
“Love and obsession are two very different things,” Daichi warned.
Hinata cocked his head and looked at Daichi like he could bore holes through his skull. “Are they though?”
Daichi shrugged. It seemed like the right thing to say, but he didn’t really know. Love wasn't really his area of expertise.
“I’ve read all his stuff like a million times and found all of the interviews he’s done on the internet. Noya,” Hinata looked at Daichi for recognition, “you know, from the comic book store at the other end of the mall? He helped me find Kageyama’s columns from his college paper. He just gives off this amazing vibe that’s so… writery.”
“Writery?”
Hinata huffed. “You know what I mean! He doesn’t say much, like in interviews or anything, but he gives off this brooding aura of smarts. Does that make sense?”
“Uh, no. Not at all,” Daichi laughed.
“Okay,” Hinata pursed his lips, “it’s like, he’s a big mystery, he doesn’t give much and he isn’t super over the top, but his writing and his worlds and characters bring me places I never thought I would go. His words make me want to know everything about him and that stupid brain of his and I love that.”
Daichi bit the inside of his lip. He hadn't picked up a book in a long time, and, even when he did, he never put much thought into the authors themselves. He had always preferred to let the stories stand on their own, but couldn’t justify it out loud. “I don’t know. I still don’t understand.”
Hinata’s neck flushed. “He’s also smokin’ hot, Daichi. Like, people should not be allowed to be as pretty as he is, all dark hair and broad shoulders and resting bitch face.”
Daichi snorted. “So the truth comes out. You’re stalking him because you think he’s hot?”
“Ugh! Were you listening at all?!” Hinata threw his hands up in the air. “And I’m not stalking him!”
“Sure thing, kid,” Daichi patted him on the back.
“Maybe I’m stalking him,” Hinata admitted in a quiet voice. “The tiniest bit! I’m drawn to him for the reasons that everyone else is, but there’s something, I don’t know, MORE, and it’s hard to explain. You’ll understand someday.”
Daichi had never felt that way about anyone in his quarter of a century as a living, breathing creature and he couldn’t imagine that changing any time soon. Mystery and obsession and love and "smokin’ hot" worked for creative-types like Hinata, but those things didn’t happen for people like him. He was perfectly fine with the things he understood already.
“That’s sweet Hinata, but I doubt it.”
And, right on schedule, the doors next to them opened. They watched as people from the previous panel filed out of the room. Hinata stood on his tip toes and tried his best to see over their heads. Once they got the signal to enter, Hinata grabbed Daichi’s arm and he let himself be pulled through the open doors.