From The Rooftop
The sudden feeling of being watched caused Clint to scan his surroundings from where he stood on the roof. His blue-grey eyes eventually coming to rest on the [h/c] haired woman that balanced on the rail across the rooftop. A sigh escaped him, he should have known.
She didn’t seem to be paying him any attention as she stood on the thin metal staring up at the few stars visible beyond the city lights. He knew better though, she may not be directly interacting with him but she was here for no other reason than him.
“What do you want?” He asked sharply, a thin veil of venom coating his words.
[E/C] eyes ghosted over him, seeming to pierce his very soul, before settling on the stars once more. Clint opened his mouth but before he could say anything the woman before him spoke.
“I was worried.” She answered in a soft voice.
Her words came out like a ribbon of silk, wrapping around him and giving him comfort he didn’t want at the moment.
“Why?”
“Because I care about you?”
Though it sounded like a question Clint knew better and sighed, running a hand through his already messy hair.
“Why?”
“Would you prefer I not?”
She was turned in his direction now, [e/c] eyes glowing in the darkness and fixing him with an intense gaze. He was momentarily speechless, she looked like a fallen angel ready to strike him down the moment he said the wrong thing.
“I never said that.” Clint defended after another moment of silence.
The stillness of the night settled between them and the soft autumn breeze blew through both of their hair though it made [Y/N]’s angelic appearance intensify as he stared at her. Without another word Clint turned back around, facing the city once more.
“You don’t need to worry.” Clint muttered, more to himself then to her but still he was sure she heard.
“Oh, but I do.”
Her soft voice came from beside him now, though she now sat crossed legged on the metal bar so that she was closer to his height, and he gave a slight jolt at her sudden appearance but they didn’t call her Ghost for nothing. He spared a glance up at her, noting that she was still staring at the sky, and sighed once again before shifting his gaze back to the city below.
“You’ve been up here for four days.” She pointed out in that same gentle voice, “When’s the last time you ate something?”
“What’s your point [Y/N]?” Clint huffed.
“What happened….you can’t let it do this to you; it wasn’t your fault.” She answered calmly, ignoring the harshness in his tone.
“You weren’t there.” He retorted bitterly.
“Only because you requested that Fury make me stay.”
“It was either that or watch you die like the rest of them!” Clint exclaimed, pushing away from the rail and pacing the rooftop.
“Would it really have mattered?” [Y/N] asked innocently, “So long as the mission is a success do casualties really mean anything?”
“Of course they do!” Clint shouted, turning on his heel to glare into the back of her head, “How could you say something like that?”
“As S.H.E.I.L.D REAPER agents, we’re made to believe that nothing but the mission should concern us.” She explained, her brow furrowing as she spoke, “I used to believe that but now….now I’m not so sure.”
“The perfect agent found a flaw in the system, that’s priceless!” Clint mocked, his glare on her softening when he heard her explanation after all he couldn’t be angry at her for believing the words she had been fed all her life.
“You are that flaw Clint Barton.” [Y/N] stated firmly, turning to face him with her legs swinging over the rail as her [e/c] eyes burned into him.
“What do you mean?” He was taken off guard by her sudden proclamation and his brain was struggling to make sense of it.
“I was one of the first to be informed about the situation concerning your mission, they wanted someone at the ready to go if things took a turn for the worst in hopes to salvage the mission if need be. When I heard all that was going on I didn’t care about the mission, whether it succeeded or failed was of little interest to me.” She explained, seeming so calm in the way she spoke but he could see the raw emotions that burned in her vibrant eyes, “All that mattered was you and for the first time in my life….I was scared. Not for myself of course, but I was scared that something was going to happen to someone else.”
He was stunned, she was what Fury liked to call ‘the perfect agent’ because she had a wide range of skills and allowed herself to interact with and care about others but not to the extent that it would interfere with her work. Her ability to get just close enough to others without allowing herself to get attached made her suitable for any mission. Of course he knew she cared about the Avengers more than she did most people, it was almost impossible not to obtain some attachment to people you were around and spent time with every day, but he would never have thought the legendary Ghost was capable of something like this, putting the mission aside for another person. It nearly made all the breath leave his body.
“To be honest I’m glad that it was those four men who died and not you.” She confessed, “If that makes me a bad person than so be it, I’ll gladly wear the title if it means you are safe.”
“[Y/N]….” Clint muttered, not sure if there was anything else he could say at the moment.
All his earlier anger was now replaced with confusion as he tried to piece everything she said together and make logical sense of it. She simply sat there, staring at him like she was waiting for him to continue but when he failed to say anything more she sighed.
“I should go.” She whispered as she shifted so she once again stood on the thin metal rail.
She looked at him with eyes that spoke a million words she didn’t know how to say to him and before she could scurry off Clint found himself reaching out for her hand. He felt her tense under his touch but it only made his hold on her tighten before he pulled her off the rail so she stood on the smooth concrete of the roof for the first time that night.
They stood like that for a long time, he didn’t know what he wanted to say but he wanted her there with him and she made no further attempt to leave. It was the closest they had ever been but it felt natural, her hand in his as they gazed into each other’s eyes.
“I’m sorry for what you went through in Russia.” She suddenly said, reading the pain in his eyes and feeling the uncontrollable need to comfort him.
“That doesn’t matter right now.” Clint muttered, brushing a stray lock of [h/c] hair from her face.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re more like an angel than a ghost.” He stated and gave a small smile at the soft pink hue that colored her cheeks.
“Is that so?” [Y/N] inquired, feeling her heart pounding against her ribcage as his fingers brushed against her cheek.
His eyes fluttered closed as he slowly leaned in towards her but her hand ripped from his and her hands were suddenly gripping his face his enough pressure to cause him to open his eyes. Confusion clouded her [e/c] eyes and she stared at him as though she were trying to figure something out.
“What….are you doing?” She asked in a whisper, her voice faltering for the first time as it shook nervously.
“Don’t tell me you’ve never been kissed before?” Clint said, pulling back with a look of shook and allowing her hands fall to his chest.
“I-….not unless missions count.” She confessed, shifting her gaze to the side, “I don’t typically allow people this close to me unless I have to.”
“Do you think you have to do this?”
“I….don’t know.” The young woman answered, allowing her eyes to meet his once more.
“Do you want this?”
“I want you.” She answered, fear causing her to shake as she realized how vulnerable she was.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, sensing something was wrong and his eyes searched hers for any clue.
“I’m scared, I don’t know how to do this, I don’t know….how to love.” [Y/N] answered, her voice and body continuing to shake.
“If you don’t know then how do you know it’s love?”
“Because I don’t know what else this could be.”
“I know this is new to you, but I need to know something.”
“And that is?”
“Do you trust me?” Clint asked.
“I do.” She breathed.
He leaned down once again, his lips hesitantly brushing against hers before pressing his chapped lips into her own smooth lips. He waited a moment before slowly beginning to move his lips against hers and smiling as she followed his movements. After another few heartbeats he pulled away and gave her a small smile, noting how her trembling had lessened and there was a new light in her [e/c] eyes when she looked back at him.
“Clint-“
“Do you know why I asked Fury to leave you behind?” The blonde man asked.
“He only told me you had made the request.”
“I made the request because I knew something was going to go wrong, I could feel it, and I didn’t want to risk you being there in the crossfire.” He explained, his forehead resting against hers as his fingers ran soothingly through her soft [h/c] hair, “If something happened to you, I could never forgive myself.”
“I could have helped you.” [Y/N] said calmly, her voice back to its steady tone.
“Everyone but me died in those mountains.” Clint pointed out, closing his eyes in hopes of forcing away the memories, “What I’m trying to say is….I worry about you too and I care about you and I love you.”
Her hands trembled slightly as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling closer so that she was able to hug him. It was an act of intimacy she had never given nor received but it felt right.
“Clint?” She whispered.
“Yes angel?” He asked, officially using his new nickname for her.
“Can I ask something of you?”
“Anything.”
“Make me human again.”
It was such an odd request but he knew that the few people accepted into the REAPER unit of S.H.E.I.L.D were all but stripped of their humanity and turned into the perfect agents, the only difference between them and HYDRA being that the members of the REAPER unit still contained that humanity within them and were still able to live their lives. It pained him to know this was how she lived her life, scared to let people in because of what S.H.E.I.L.D had done to her. His arms wrapped tightly around her waist and he buried his face in her hair.
Snapping into an upright position, Clint took her hand firmly in his and led her towards the elevator.
“What’s going on?” [Y/N] asked with a hint of alarm in her voice.
“We’re running.” Clint answered simply.
“What do you mean?”
“We’re getting out of this rat race.”
“Where will we go?” She asked curiously, funny how the thought of leaving the only life she had ever known behind didn’t bother her.
“I have a place, a place S.H.E.I.L.D doesn’t know about so we’ll be safe.” Clint explained, pressing the down button on the elevator panel, “We’ll leave and never come back.”
“But what if-“
“Don’t worry about that.” Clint said, turning to run his fingers through her hair and press a tender kiss to her forehead, “Just pack as much as you can and meet me in the parking garage in thirty minutes.”
“Why are we running?” [Y/N] asked suddenly.
“Because I think they’ve done enough damage to both of us and it’s time we get the hell out of here and live our lives.” Clint answered, ushering her out of the elevator when the doors opened on her floor and smiling as the doors closed.
She stood there for a minute, blankly looking at the metal door. Her heart began to rapidly beat against her ribcage once more as thoughts flooded her min.
Was she really about to do this?
Making up her mind in less than a moment the [h/c] haired woman was hurrying down the hall to her room. As she quickly opened and shut the door, making sure to locked it just in case, she set to work on packing anything she needed or wanted into two duffle bags.
“Glad you decided to show.” Clint said from his spot leaning against his rage rover.
“I had my doubts.” [Y/N] confessed, tossing her bags into the open trunk before turning to him, “But I think I started running the moment I felt something for you and I’m not about to stop running now.”
“Good to know.” Clint said with a smile, pressing a quick kiss to her forehead as he shut the trunk.
They both hurried inside the vehicle, any moment could be the last if S.H.E.I.L.D got wind of what they were doing. Placing her hand of his as Clint started the rover and sped off into the night, [Y/N] smiled feeling for the first time in her life like she was actually alive.