to put an end to;
It was raining.
Inside the coffee shop though, it was dry. Everything was, not just the air. The conversation, Taeyeon’s throat. It was all just… dry.
– You know this isn’t how I wanted things to play out. – Jessica’s words were dry. They cut through the air like knives, and landed right on Taeyeon’s wounds. She took a sip of her coffee instead of replying. It was almost as sharp as the other’s words. – Things are just…complicated. More than I thought they would get.
Taeyeon was this close to losing it, yet everything seemed to move so slowly around her. It was calm. Jessica was collected. It was a cold, calculated arrangement of words. Sica knew exactly where it would hurt the most, and she was shooting arrow after arrow at that exact spot, mercilessly.
She finally managed to mumble something under her breath, holding in her tears as well as she could. To that, Jessica jolted up almost instantly to look into her eyes, eyebrows furrowed slightly. – I can’t hear you.
– My jacket is still at your place.
And just like that, it was over.
Standing there under her umbrella, everything seemed so erratic. The way her feet moved, slowly, almost painfully, and just how heavy it felt to drag herself across a single street. One step. Two steps. Three. How long has it been? Half an hour?
Jessica just couldn’t do it. She had ended her conversation with her girlfriend – well, ex-girlfriend, as of now – about thirty minutes ago. And yet, she was still there, inside the same coffee shop. With her back facing the window through which the brunette watched her, she was just.. sitting there, leaning on the table. Was she asleep? Was she crying?
Raindrops hit the umbrella almost as hard as she hit herself inside her own head. Why was it so fucking complicated, always? She should just go back inside and apologize, get things fixed, get Taeyeon fixed, get herself fixed, make the world start turning again. She loved her girlfriend after all. Or did she long for the feeling of being wanted? Would she feel as complete as the blonde made her feel if she just… fell for someone else?
She tried closing her eyes. All she could see were flashes of a past time. Another fight, months ago, over something way less important. How after hours of yelling at each other with no final agreement, Taeyeon touched her lips against her face softly, like a cold breeze hitting her cheeks as she opened up the door in the wintertime. – Tae…
- Don’t talk, don’t say anything. – next thing she knew, their bodies were pressed against each others’, in an intimate embrace. They were silent, it wasn't a matter of demonstrating their love, it was more of a goodbye to the possibility of ever being completely ok. They could fight, make up, go on as if nothing happened, they could even be happy, but they wouldn't be absolutely forgiven by each other. It was past the point of no return.
This memory engulfed Jessica so deep that she didn't notice when Taeyeon got up from her table and put on her jacket, the same jacket she thought was at Sica's apartment, but the brunette brought it with herself when she made the decision to end everything.
Jessica snapped out of it as soon as the coffee shop door rang, when Taeyeon went through. She didn't look like she'd been crying. Tae always had that effect, she could pick herself up from a hurricane and act composed. Jessica was jealous and mad about it, because it meant that whenever she thought she had left her girlfriend in ruin, she would never show signs of it, and there was no satisfaction.
But back to reality. Jessica watched as her ex girlfriend made a turn and went in the direction of her apartment complex, headphones in, looking down. She was always so cute, even when she wasn't supposed to be. Wearing a hoodie and a skirt, converse shoes and holding up a black umbrella, she looked like she had been drawn specifically at Sica's request.
She stood there until her shadow became a small dot in the horizon. It was too late now.