I've Got You Under My Skin
I've Got You Under My Skin
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Summary: Callie reveals some news. Arizona has a date that goes unexpectedly.
"But each time I do,
just the thought of you,
makes me stop before I begin."
After a blissful, laughter and fun-filled weekend spent with Sofia, Arizona regretted being paged into work on Monday morning. She raced to the hospital, dropped off Sofia at daycare, and headed for the ambulance bay, pulling on a pair of surgical gloves in her haste.
"What do we have?"
The on-call trauma surgeon looked towards her. "An MVA patient is being transferred from Seattle Pres. She has a medial malleolus fracture with dislocation that was reduced on site, but she needs surgery. Ortho's been paged."
"Why am I here, then?"
"The patient is twenty-three weeks pregnant and, during the exam, the doctor noticed a possible congenital cystic adenomatoid malformation and sent her here to you."
"Great," Arizona muttered under her breath. She loved her job—everything about it. She loved it so much that some people might have even considered her a workaholic.
But Callie and Sofia were about to go back to New York, and that was going to hurt—having to say goodbye again was going to hurt—so Arizona wasn't really in the mood to be the bearer of bad news to a poor pregnant woman. If there was, in fact, something wrong with the woman's fetus, Arizona didn't want to add to her upset by breaking a mother's heart.
But that was part of the job, so she waited in the crisp morning air, wearing her trauma gown and a prominent frown, while the other surgeon headed back into the ER to oversee another emergency.
As the sirens in the distance screamed closer, Arizona heard the woosh of the automatic doors open and shut behind her, and, out of the corner of her eye, she caught sight of familiar form running towards her.
Callie.
Before she could so much as inhale a sharp breath, Callie was standing beside her, gloved up and facing forward, as if it were just another normal day.
Arizona couldn't comprehend what she was seeing. Frozen in shock, she stared at her ex-wife's face. "You're...working?"
Callie turned to face her, confronting confused and stormy blue eyes. After a long moment, she offered simply, "I said I'd see you on Monday."
"So we could talk..." Arizona finished uneasily. "And work out our schedule for the year."
"And so I could pick up Sofia before your date," Callie added slyly.
Arizona shook her head, waving off the comment. "You never said anything about you working. You quit. What are you doing here...gloved up?"
Before she could get any real answers, the ambulance pulled up, and Callie immediately went into doctor-mode, hurrying towards the rig.
"Callie, wait," Arizona ventured tentatively, stopping Callie in her tracks.
"Are you staying?"
Before the back doors to the ambulance flew open and the chaos of the incoming trauma took over, Callie took a moment to look at Arizona.
A soft smile formed on her lips. "I'm staying."
Not even an hour later, Arizona hurried into the scrub room where Callie had just finished cleaning under her fingernails with a sterile file and was now scrubbing between her fingers.
Callie glanced briefly in the direction of the door, then turned back to her task when she saw that it was Arizona. "She needs at least three pins," she explained. "How's the baby? Still stable enough for me to go in?"
Arizona nodded. "The baby's fine. The cyst was small, and I can wait until she's born to do the surgery. I'd like to monitor him and the mom while you operate, though. Just in case."
"Sounds great," Callie smiled. "It's been awhile since we've been in the OR together."
"Callie…" Arizona began. "We need to talk." She deserved some answers. What was Callie doing?
Callie inhaled a deep breath. "We will," she confirmed. "I'll, uh, I'll see you in there." With her hands held up in front of her, she backed through the door and into the operating theater.
Arizona growled in frustration, stepped up to the sink, and began scrubbing in.
Twenty minutes into the surgery, Callie could feel Arizona's eyes on her. Her ex-wife clearly wanted an explanation, and she deserved one. And while the OR wasn't the time or the place to have that conversation, Callie couldn't ignore the troubled eyes any longer.
"I know you have questions, and I'll do my best to answer them," she began. "But, now's the time to ask, because I'm going to need to start drilling soon."
"Did she not want you back?"
"What?"
"Blake," Arizona clarified. "Did she change her mind and not want you there?"
Callie looked up and made eye contact with the fiery blue eyes of her inquisitor. "No. She had nothing to do with my decision. I haven't even talked to her since she left."
That was news to Arizona. "Where did you go, then?"
"I went to Miami."
Arizona's eyes bulged. "Miami? What…?" Her expression changed as realization dawned on her. "Huh. I guess that's why Sofia said she liked the beach when I asked her if she'd had a good time in New York. I just assumed you went to Cherry Grove or something. But Miami..."
"Daddy says 'hi,' by the way." Callie turned to Dr. Wilson, who was assisting, and held up the drill. "You wanna do the honors?"
"Do I!?" Of course she did.
After making sure her resident had secured the drill, Callie turned back to Arizona. "We can finish this conversation later."
"Tonight," Arizona insisted.
"You have your date tonight," Callie reminded her.
The sound of the drill permeated the room before Arizona could respond.
That night, after putting the baby to bed and sending the older kids upstairs to watch a movie, Callie and Meredith headed towards the living room to catch up on the past week. Maggie had been called into work, so it was just the two of them.
Pouring herself a glass of wine, Callie joined Meredith on the couch, tucking one leg under the other. "Are Owen and Amelia home yet?"
"Not that I've heard," Meredith replied. "But Amelia doesn't check in with me, so..."
"Where did they go for their honeymoon? Did they tell you that?"
Meredith took a sip of her tequila then narrowed her eyes at her friend. "That's really what you want to talk about?"
Callie offered no response, choosing instead to focus on the contents of her glass, in an attempt to avoid Meredith's glare.
Exhaling a long breath, Meredith sat her bottle on the coffee table before straightening up and bringing her gaze back to Callie's face.
Finally, Callie sighed. "If you want to know, just ask me."
Meredith crossed her arms, leaning back against the sofa before giving in. "Why didn't you go?"
Callie shrugged, stubbornly offering only: "Because."
Meredith shook her head. "Nope. That's not a reason, Callie. Not a reasonable reason."
"Why does my reason have to be 'reasonable'?" Callie protested. "Why can't I just say because and leave it at that?"
"Do you remember taking Arizona to court?"
Callie held up her index finger as she corrected, "Technically, she called a lawyer first, so I think the argument could be made that she-"
Meredith fixed her with a fierce glare, not willing to allow her friend to delude herself. "Callie."
Briefly shutting her eyes, Callie nodded in surrender, admitting, "Right. Fine. I took her to court."
Meredith waited.
"I let my lawyer to drag her through the mud in that courtroom and, still, she…"
Callie paused, taking a long gulp of wine. She wanted to avoid this conversation. She didn't want to think about her own motivations, much less explain them.
But Meredith was persistent, and she was a good friend, so Callie knew she had to explain herself.
"She didn't have to make this grand gesture—to tell me to go and take Sof with me—but she did." She paused. "She made a huge sacrifice, and I couldn't leave after that. I just…I couldn't leave after she did that for me."
Gail led Arizona into a small contemporary fine-dining restaurant in downtown Seattle. It was well lit, just-elegant-enough, and quiet—and Arizona wasn't sure that was a good thing. In fact, she had almost cancelled on her date and used a "patient emergency" as an excuse, but ultimately decided she could use the distraction.
The truth was that Arizona couldn't stop thinking about Callie's news that she and Sofia were staying.
On one hand, she was happy that her daughter would still be with her, but on the other hand…
After everything that happened, she couldn't believe that Callie had just…not gone. She had given Callie a gift, one Callie seemed grateful for but had rejected it. What did that mean?
She shook her head, clearing her thoughts and forcing herself into polite, flirtatious first-date-mode.
"This place is adorable," she complimented after they took their seats. "How did you find it?" She figured she'd better at least make an attempt at pleasant conversation.
"Oh, I work for 'The Seattle Times,' and my office is right next to our food blogger's. She always has the best suggestions for new places to try."
But, seriously, why didn't Callie go to New York? "Have you been to this one before? It looks good."
"I haven't, actually. I hope it's as good as she says. I'd hate to disappoint you on our first date."
When Arizona didn't immediately reply, Gail smiled shyly, looking a little nervous as she added, "I have to be honest with you...this is my first date since my divorce."
Arizona's eyebrows shot up. "Really? Last week you seemed so…"
"Pushy?" the woman finished, her lips quirking up into a guilty smile.
Arizona smiled back. "Determined," she maintained. It was true that Gail had been forward, but Arizona liked that. She hadn't met a woman who'd really challenged her since Callie. Who is staying in Seattle,she remembered.
The woman blushed.. "I'm sorry if I came on too strong."
"It worked," Arizona replied, smiling, "Here we are."
"I know. I'm glad," Gail smiled back. Already, she was enjoying her time with the charming and gorgeous woman seated across from her; and when the waiter approached their table a few seconds later, she ordered them a bottle of white wine.
As soon as he left, she continued: "I've been reluctant to get back out there until now, you know? It's not easy, especially with a daughter."
Arizona lifted her glass of water to her lips. "How long have you been divorced?"
"Not long," Gail admitted. "It's still a little fresh. How about you?"
"Me? Oh…" she closed her eyes, silently recalling exactly how long it had been. "Years," she generalized. "It's been years."
"So you're used to the dating scene?"
Arizona made a face. Not exactly, she thought. The casual nights out with the women she'd met didn't count as 'dating,' in her mind, but she played it off. "With my job, I don't really have a lot of time for dates."
"I'm honored you made time for me, then."
"Mmm," Arizona hummed distractedly, which didn't go unnoticed by her dinner companion. Gail was about to ask what was wrong, but the waiter interrupted, delivering warm breadsticks and their wine. As he poured them each a glass, Arizona grabbed hers directly out of his hand and took a large gulp.
She needed to drink. She needed to stop thinking about Callie. To stop reeling from their earlier conversation.
She knew that it wasn't the time to process the little information Callie had shared. She needed to focus on the beautiful woman sitting across from her—not on her ex-wife.
Gail's eyes widened with surprise at the blonde's behavior. While she noted that Arizona had seemed a little preoccupied since she'd picked her up, she figured nerves were to blame. But, apparently, far more was going on.
"Thirsty?"
Arizona nodded, taking another long sip. Why was Callie staying?!
"Well then…Cheers." She held up her own glass in salute.
"Oh, yeah…cheers," Arizona smiled as she feigned touching her glass to the other woman's, then quickly downed the rest of her wine. She needed a to get her mind off of Callie. Big time.
The woman bit her lip, not sure whether to laugh or worry, offering, "You seem...distracted, Arizona. Should we reschedule?"
"Oh…it's just my ex-wife." Arizona reached for the wine bottle and poured herself another generous glass. "She dropped some big news on me today, and I don't know what to think about it."
"Bad news?" Gail worried.
"No…not bad, just… not what I expected," Arizona replied honestly. "I did something for her that I thought would make her happy, because…that's all I want. She seemed sad, and I wanted her to be happy."
Gail's eyebrows flew up at that statement.
When she saw the other woman's reaction, Arizona realized how she must have sounded. "For our daughter!" she quickly added. "I want her to be happy...so that our daughter can be happy."
"But you were happy with Penny, right?" Meredith insisted, remembering, "You missed her when she left. You were sad without her."
"I was happy with Penny, and I did miss her, but…that wasn't the only reason I was sad. The whole thing with Arizona and the custody battle-"
"Oh." Meredith sat back as if having a sudden realization. "You're staying out of guilt!" she accused. "How is that any different than staying because you're stuck? Neither is what you want."
"I'm not staying out of guilt!" Callie defended. "I want to stay. My life is here." She shook her head and exhaled her sudden ire, calming herself in the process. "I don't know. I guess I realized that Penny wasn't enough for me. I couldn't burn every bridge I had here for her. I couldn't throw away everything I'd earned."
Then, she paused. She hated saying the oncoming part out loud—even though it was the truth. "Meredith, I took Arizona to court and let my lawyer call her a slut and a bad mother. After that, I had to take a good long look at myself and, god..." she trailed off, her shame evident.
Meredith didn't say anything, allowing her friend time to process.
After a moment, Callie's brows furrowed. "I realized that, somewhere along the way, I reverted back to the old me." She shook her head. "The me who didn't think about the consequences of her actions. The me who got married on a whim in Vegas. The me who let too much time pass after..."
The last part came out as a whisper, but Meredith heard it. And she wanted to comment on it, but instead, she reached for the bottle of tequila and took a long pull. After recovering from the burn of the warm alcohol assaulting her throat, she sighed, "I really hoped you and Penny would work out."
"Really?" That surprised Callie, given the volatile nature of Meredith and Penny's early interactions. She'd thought that Meredith only warmed up to Penny because of her loyalty.
"Yeah," Meredith admitted. "I liked the idea of you getting a second chance at love, you know?"
Callie furrowed her brow, unsure of what Meredith meant.
"I figured that, if you got to love again after your marriage ended, then maybe I could, too. So I rooted for you two to make it, because it meant that maybe I wouldn't always be alone."
"Meredith…"
Meredith held up her hand. "Don't get me wrong, I know I'll never have another Derek. He was The One―my one true love― but I thought...maybe, I could find a Penny, too."
Callie scrunched up her nose. "You want a Penny?"
"I don't know. I want something, because I like sex." She and Callie shared a chuckle. "But also…I want to not be lonely."
Callie understood that better than anyone. "You'll get a second chance at love, Meredith. Derek wouldn't want it any other way. And maybe I will, too"
"What if Penny was your best shot?"
"I don't think she was," Callie maintained. "If there's one thing I've realized in all this mess, it's that doing things just to not be lonely is no way to live. You can't force love. You can't ignore the signs. You can't make something work that isn't meant to be."
A bottle of wine, dinner, and various attempts at changing the conversation later, Gail had given up on getting Arizona to discuss another subject, so she just leaned back and allowed the other woman to drunkenly vent.
"I mean, if they were so meant to be, why wouldn't Callie go?"
"I don't know," Gail began. "Maybe-"
"She had her Perfect Penny!" Arizona interrupted. "She fought for Perfect Penny—fought me. After all that, why wouldn't she go?"
"Maybe… Perfect Penny wasn't so perfect?"
Arizona waved her off. "Please. She made Callie happier than she's ever been. She-"
"Maybe Callie was overcompensating?" the woman suggested, attempting to be diplomatic.
Arizona's brows knit together as she contemplated Gail's statement. She narrowed her eyes and leaned forward on the table. "What do you mean?"
"It's possible that she was trying to convince herself she was happy by talking about how happy she was all the time."
"Hmmm." Arizona mulled that thought over. "But why, specifically? Why would she pretend?"
Gail chuckled. "I don't know, Arizona." By that point, she knew there wouldn't be a second date. Arizona was adorable—even drunk out of her mind—but she was seriously hung up on her ex. "I don't know Callie. Why do you think she would pretend?"
Meredith came down the stairs and settled back on the couch. "They're all out cold. Sofia and Zola are snuggled up together, and Bailey barely flinched when I tucked him into bed."
Callie smiled. "Now do you see why I stayed? At least, part of the reason I stayed. Sofia needs this more than I need Penny."
"And Arizona?"
"What about her?"
"Come on, Callie." Meredith rolled her eyes. "Let's not pretend that this isn't about her, too."
"Ugh," Callie groaned, not ready to articulate those thoughts yet. She'd gone to Miami seeking clarity, and she found it, but she wasn't sure she could put her realizations into words.
"Of course it's about her. She's Sofia's mom, so everything's about her, too. The trial was a big reminder of that...not that I forgot, I just..." She closed her eyes and leaned further into the couch. "It will always be about her because she was my Derek," she confessed. "We just couldn't make it work."
"Why not?" Meredith was genuinely curious, as Callie had always been reluctant to talk about the demise of her marriage.
"We just couldn't."
"But why not?" Meredith pressed.
"Mer-"
"Seriously, Callie. I want to know. Was it the cheating? Wait…was it the sex? Was the sex bad?"
"No! The sex was great. Really great." Callie sighed wistfully. Really, really great. "There was no defining moment that led to our divorce, it was just…"
"A Series of Unfortunate Events?" Meredith supplied, smirking in jest. At Callie's raised eyebrow, she explained, "Maggie's been reading it with Zola."
"Well, yeah," Callie surrendered honestly. "That pretty much describes it." The demise of their marriage had, indeed, been a series of unfortunate events.
"I think that describes all our relationships. Maybe the hospital's cursed. You should have gotten out when you had the chance," Meredith chuckled.
"You really believe that?"
"No. Some horrible things have happened to us here, but…this is where I found my family. It's where I met Derek. I wouldn't trade that for anything."
"I wouldn't trade my time with Arizona, either."
"Then why did you?" Meredith could be a pushy drunk.
"Because she was my Derek, but I wasn't sure I was her, uh…you." Callie's face twisted at the words. "This metaphor is getting weird."
"Yeah," Meredith agreed, shaking her head.
They both took generous sips of their drinks before Meredith continued, "Wait, so you thought she didn't love you?"
"No, she did. She loved me at one point, but…I also knew the moment I promised to save her leg that we would never be the same. I knew it was a long shot and that, if I couldn't save it, she'd never forgive me. No matter how hard we tried, from the time she woke up, there was a shift. Everything was different, and we couldn't get us back. And I tried, Mer. I really did."
"I know." She'd seen how hard her friend had tried. For years.
"I wasn't enough to bring her back."
Meredith pondered that for a second then shrugged, offering, "Maybe it wasn't your job to bring her back. Maybe you needed to let her find herself."
Callie nodded. "You're right. And she has. I've done a lot of things wrong over the years―made a lot of bad decisions. But this? Staying in Seattle? This isn't one of them. It's the right thing to do. New York with Penny wasn't my happy ending. I may not know what form my happy ending will take, but I know it wasn't that."
Arizona noisily flagged down the waiter. "More wine, please!"
Sitting on the other side of the small table, Gail attempted in vain to catch the man's eye, silently pleading, please, no more wine!
Arizona was plenty drunk already, having nearly downed an entire bottle by herself. And, worse, more wine meant extending their excruciating date even longer.
She watched as Arizona's processing continued, the blonde harshly throwing her cloth napkin down on the table. "I can't believe her!"
Gail sat silently, wide-eyed.
"I was nice! I told her to go and get her happy ending, and she didn't listen!" Callie was as headstrong as always, and it was infuriating.
"Well-"
"She's an idiot!" the blonde affirmed. "What kind of person just lets the woman she loves go? I mean, what kind of person just lets her heart get ripped out of her chest without even fighting for what she wants?"
Gail wasn't even sure Arizona was talking about Callie, anymore.
"I'm gonna call her," the blonde decided.
"Arizona, I don't think that's-"
"I'm gonna call her," she repeated, reaching for her phone. "And I'm gonna tell her that she's an idiot. I mean…how could she do something so stupid?"
And then she was dialing Callie's number, one that—even drunk, Gail noted— she knew by heart.
Meredith was in the kitchen refilling Callie's glass of wine when the buzzed brunette heard the sound of a phone ringing.
"Phone!" Callie alerted Meredith, not so loud as to wake the kids upstairs.
"Are you sure it's mine?" Meredith asked, handing her friend her drink.
"Sofia had mine earlier, so it has to be yours."
"I don't remember where I put it."
"Um..." Callie sat up on the couch and looked around, trying to locate where the ringing was coming from. "It stopped."
"If it's important, they'll call back."
"Unless it was a booty call," Callie grinned, wiggling her brows.
Meredith made a face. "No one wants my widow booty."
"I'm sure there is someone out there who wants your widow booty, Mer. You just have to be open to the possibility. Be available."
Meredith picked up her bottle of tequila and took another swig. She eyed Callie for a moment, weighing her options, then finally blurted, "I did something kind of stupid."
Callie looked up. "What?"
"After you left. Or, well, it happened before. But, then, during the wedding, we did that sexy-stare thing—you know what I'm talking about—and-"
"Meredith…" Callie began, a knowing smile spreading across her lips. She could tell that Meredith's inner struggle had to do with a man, and she was eager to learn more. "What did you do?"
"I slept with Nathan Riggs. Once or twice."
Callie's eyebrows shot up. "Was it once or twice?"
Meredith looked down. "Four times, actually."
"Oh my god!" Callie exclaimed. "Was it good?"
"Four times, Callie. You don't go back for another round—much less three—if the sex is bad. He was pretty smug about it, and with good reason."
"And the stupid part?"
"Maggie."
"Maggie?"
"She likes him. Likes him, likes him."
"Oh," Callie exhaled. "Does she know?"
"No, and we're keeping it that way."
"If you like him…."
"I don't. She does."
Callie gave her a knowing look. "You went back for more. A lot more. You like him."
"But I love Maggie, so I want her to be happy."
"It went to voicemail," Arizona explained with a drunken sigh, pointing towards the phone.
"Just hang up," Gail suggested. "You can always talk to her tomorrow."
But Arizona just shook her head, silencing her date with her finger and a "shhhh!" as she heard the BEEEEP.
"Hi, Calliope, it's, um," she slurred, hand nervously coming up to run through her wavy blonde tresses. "It's me, Arizona. I just…"
"I'm calling to tell you that you're an idiot! You should have gone to New York and fought for who you love. If…Wait, you do love her, right? Because you would just go on and on and on about her, and..."
She paused, attempting to reign in her jealousy. "She was perfect, apparently, so why would you throw that away?"
She stopped for a moment as if waiting for an answer, then continued, "I just want you to be happy. That's all I've ever wanted, and I know I lost sight of that for a long time, but this is what I can do for you. To make you happy," she added with a soulful sigh.
Gail could barely contain her mirth. Man, she thought, she has it bad.
"But you're staying. And I just want to make sure you're happy to be staying, because I want you to be happy." She met her date's watchful eyes, suddenly realizing how love-sick she must have sounded.
Which wouldn't have bothered her, if it weren't for the fact that Callie would hear the message, too. And remembering that left her panicked.
So, quickly, she backtracked. "And also...I just want me to be happy. And Sofia, and… and everyone. I want everyone to be happy, because everyone's happiness is really important to me," she finished ineloquently.
"Anyway, I'm sorry I called you an idiot. That was mean. You're actually smart. Really smart. Like...a genius." She rolled her eyes at her own inability to end the call gracefully. "Okay, I just...ugh...have a great night! Bye!" She quickly pressed the button on the phone to end the call.
Arizona looked at her date and cringed. "How pathetic was that?"
Gail regarded the other woman with sympathy. "Honestly? About an eight, eight and half. It was hard to watch."
Arizona groaned and laid her head on the table in defeat. "Maybe I should move to New York."
At that, the waiter arrived and cheerfully offered, "Will you ladies be having dessert?"
"No!" Gail exclaimed. "Just the check."
Without picking up her head from the table, Arizona lifted her hand to take their bill from the waiter. "Tonight's on me."
The second Arizona saw Callie round the corner and begin walking down the hallway the following morning, she felt her heart speed up—and not in a good way. She'd left that terribly embarrassing voicemail, and there was no avoiding it.
She watched as Chief Bailey passed the brunette, stopping to chide, "Torres, you're late! You have a hip replacement in ten minutes."
"I know, I know," Callie apologized. "I stayed at Mer's last night and haven't even had time to check my voicemail, let alone the schedule."
"You two drink too much last night?" Bailey asked, unamused. "You should've been resting up. We've got a busy day ahead."
"What? Why?"
"There's a storm coming," Bailey explained. "Rain means accidents. And accidents mean broken bones."
Callie made a face. "More rain?" She missed the Miami heat already.
Bailey rolled her eyes, joking, "Maybe you should've gone to New York."
As her friend walked away, Callie refocused on her phone, tapping on a missed voicemail from Arizona.
When did she call?
A mere fifteen feet away, however, the blonde could only idly watch in horror as Callie held up her phone to her ear.
She knew what was coming, and it wasn't good. In fact, it was perhaps the most embarrassing thing on the planet.
Slinking back against the wall, she prepared for the horrified reaction that was sure to come, but oddly, it didn't.
Instead, as Callie finished listening to the garbled yet oh-so-endearing message from the obviously intoxicated blonde, her lips curled up.
And she was about to listen to the message for a second time when she spotted Arizona watching her like a hawk.
Inadvertently locking eyes with the brunette, Arizona nearly bolted. But, realizing it was better to address the awkwardness head-on, she faltered towards her ex-wife.
Coming to a stop a few feet away, Arizona offered a cautious smile, breathing, "Hey." She didn't really want to explain herself—and, really, she wasn't sure she had to—but she did want to move past it.
Stomach fluttering, Callie replied with an understanding smile of her own. "Hey."
"I assume you heard all...that?" Arizona gestured to the phone.
Callie nodded and tried her best not to smile too widely. "I did." She didn't want Arizona to think she was ridiculing her.
"I'm sor-" Arizona started to apologize, but Callie interrupted her with a quick and decisive, "Don't be."
They stared at each other in silence, and in that moment, Arizona realized there was nothing to be embarrassed about.
She was glad that Callie had heard the message.
And with that knowledge, Arizona boldly stated, "For the record…I'm happy you didn't go to New York."
Callie answered with a soft nod, vowing, "I'm happy, too."