Not Worth Knowing
It took a while or rather ten yards of Gen getting closer before Therese grasped the meaning of Carol's words. Still she seemed to hesitate, to weigh the pros and cons of the action Carol had deemed necessary.
She looked frightened and, furthermore, uncertain of herself. The cocksure attitude Therese had sported only yesterday was nowhere to be found and it puzzled Carol to no end.
Thirty more yards and we're done for, ran across Carol's harried mind. It was all too crystal clear that Genevieve was coming to meet them and only them, to ask questions and to demand answers they both dreaded.
She's not going to kiss me, she'll rather face the consequences of Gen's imminent recognition than press her mouth against mine. But just as Carol was about to swallow the bitter pill of her disappointment, Therese did what was asked of her.
Her hand traversing the back of Carol’s neck, lingering behind the soft curtain of her blonde hair, Therese reached for her lips. It couldn’t have been more than a heartbeat, yet the time it took for them to make it happen seemed to stem from some prodigious pocket of time. Carol tasted longing and loneliness, hope and hunger but she couldn’t tell where Therese’s ended and hers began. She felt her muscles relax then tense up again as the kiss intensified, became more demanding.
Carol had certainly been kissed before, and she knew what could come out of it – a quickening of pleasure and a need to follow it through, even a genuine affection – but she had learned that all it entailed had always not only an obvious beginning but also an imminent, clear-cut closure as well. Surely she hadn’t known how to expect anything more. Yet this one and the luscious terror it ignited in her made her tremble in Therese’s embrace.
A kiss to open the floodgates, a kiss to leave no stone unturned it was. The heated synchronized breathing following the violent clash of their mouths was more than enough to tear Carol’s resistance apart, had there ever been any to start out with. She heard the blood course through her veins, rush forward in mad acceleration, and discard everything that stood in its way. It flicked and fluttered in her brain pumping life into scenarios she hadn’t even known existed.
When she felt the pressure of Therese’s body on hers, the mind abandoned its precious fuel and sent it down to her loins. The debris of everything conventional cast aside, drowned in one brilliant nanosecond, she gasped out of sheer need to have her right now, to give herself and never expect to be returned the way she used to be.
All of it was so palpable it had to be real, Carol thought, but when Therese abruptly let go, untangled herself from their embrace as if she’d been caught in Carol’s web, she became afraid of what she saw. Her feet shaky, Therese took a step back, then several, wiping away Carol’s lipstick from her mouth like poison she’d sipped inadvertently. Genevieve was long gone by now but even if she hadn’t respected their privacy, Carol doubted it would have influenced Therese’s behaviour in any way.
When Carol tried to move forward, Therese backed away further. “No,” she nearly shrieked, “I am not to be toyed with.” Her voice evaporated next to nothingness but Carol could still hear the last two words that escaped her lips. “Ever again.” She ran back to the main house never once looking back.
When Carol opened the front door, she got in just in time to realize that something unpleasant had just taken place in the spacious foyer. She stopped in her tracks.
There was an unknown young woman – someone who’d just arrived – standing next to Megan who had had her face bandaged after the croquet incident. The area around her nose was completely covered with only her mouth and eyes visible. The swelling was spreading all around her face making her features disproportionate and puffy.
Therese was standing at the foot of the staircase but when she saw Carol step in, she ran upstairs without a word of explanation. Abby looked at Carol sympathetically yet the look in her eyes was baffled and conflicted. Keeping her eyes glued to the floor, Genevieve was standing next to her. She was an exception, though, for all the others were focusing their full attention to Carol – and Megan.
“I’m so lucky to have Laurie here…” Megan purred patting the young woman’s behind in her customary condescending fashion. “I call her and she comes running… free of charge.” Something in Carol snapped and she contemplated hammering Megan’s bruised face with one of the available chairs.
“Carol…” Abby spoke and it was enough for Carol to lose her train of thought. She wasn’t however going to stay here and have a conversation with Abby before all these people. Worried what was racing through Therese’s mind, she cast a glance upstairs instead. She needs me… I need her, she admitted to herself taking the steps two-by-two all the way up.
When her gentle knock wasn’t answered, she opened the door and stepped right in. Therese was throwing clothes inside her suitcase. She looked hurt and angry at the same time yet somehow managed to maintain an air of indifference as well. She flung the dress she’d worn the night before at Carol. “Here, you can keep it, it’s not like I delivered what I promised, and you still have one night left in this house.” The way she stressed the last two words was contemptuous to say the least.
“I don’t want it,” Carol replied quietly, “and I don’t want you to go.” She knew she couldn’t demand it of Therese but she wanted to express how she felt in spite of everything that had happened.
“I think it’s safe to say my presence by your side has been seriously compromised,” Therese scoffed rolling her eyes at Carol’s suggestion.
“If you’re leaving, I’m leaving too,” Carol said emphatically. She pulled out her suitcase and placed it on the bed.
“You’re free to do whatever you choose, it’s got nothing to do with me,” Therese replied coldly. “I will call the agency first thing Monday morning and make sure you’ll get a whopping discount. After all you didn’t get what you were clearly hoping for.”
Therese’s words stung Carol, and the lump in her throat seemed to have an effect on her tear ducts as well. “I don’t care about the money, I care about you!” Carol exclaimed breathlessly. She wanted to go to her and hold her, to stroke the soft brown hair and tell her she had nothing to be afraid of. “Don’t push me away… please,” she said instead.
Therese was done with packing, and she had no wish to spend another minute in Abby’s mansion. Carol’s words did however stop her for a moment. Exhausted, she sat on the edge of the bed. “I can’t stay here – surely you can understand that?” Carol did understand. “I need to get the hell out of here, and I need to do it now.”
Carol had finished her packing not caring one bit if she had everything in tow. “Let me at least take you back to your apartment,” she pleaded with Therese.
“You don’t have to. I can very well just take a taxi.” Therese was being very stubborn.
“It would cost you a fortune, and I’m leaving anyway,” Carol said. “May I please drive you home?”
Therese stood up and took her time before answering. “Okay.”
They left without any formal farewells although Abby did see them to the car. When she attempted to speak, Carol stopped her. “Don’t. I’ll see you on Monday, okay?” Nodding gravely, Abby resigned to her fate.
The drive back home was long and short at the same time. For Therese it seemed like a cruel and unusual punishment, one so relentless and excruciating she was tempted to hide her face from Carol altogether. For Carol it was over far too soon – too brief for her to start a meaningful conversation that could yield results of any substance. They remained silent.
Therese gave Carol her address in East Village and when the Aston Martin finally parked next to the curb, a feeling of panic swept over Carol like the first taste of a crushing defeat.
“Tell your friend I’m sorry,” Therese mumbled as she was about to open her door. “She seems like a decent person and I never wanted to spoil her party.” Her eyes were weary and Carol wondered if she had cried without her noticing it.
“And you ain’t too shabby yourself either, Carol Aird,” she continued, “I’m just afraid you don’t know what it is you really want.” Therese got up to leave. “I hope you’ll figure it out.”
Suddenly Carol realised that if she didn’t find a way to tell Therese what their weekend had meant to her, she’d lose her forever. She looked for words but abandoned every one for the last thing she was after was a set of clichés.
“I do know what I want, and I have it all figured out.” She contemplated stepping outside and blocking Therese’s way out.
“What is it then?” Therese challenged fearing the outcome of Carol’s reply.
“I want to spend time with you,” Carol said candidly. “To talk to you and to get to know you.” It was easy to tell her that because it was the truth.
It clearly wasn’t what Therese had expected her to say and it seemed to derail her for a second. After a while she pulled herself together to hide her momentary astonishment.
“I’m not worth knowing,” she muttered back and got out of the car.