“Why did you have to mention love? You’ve made her run away, you stupid….stupid idiot!” Serena said to herself, her head in her hands as she sat in her office. She looked up, across to where Bernie would normally sit and the tears started to fall. It didn’t mean to go this way; why did she leave? Why was she running away? Serena wiped her tears and stood up, anger flowed through her body, she couldn’t understand how Bernie could leave her like this, leave them like this!
There was a knock on the officer door and before Serena could reply, Ric walked in and she just stared at him, red puffy eyes clearly showing she had been crying.
“Serena?” Ric asked.
“It seems I have been foolish after all, to think that anything could happen with Bernie and I. I was wrong, the stupid woman’s gone to Ukraine of all places.”
Ric walked towards Serena and opened his arms and she fell into them, it felt good to speak to somebody who knew about what happened between her and Bernie.
“She’ll come back.” Ric insisted.
“Yes and by then, she would have probably met someone else. Someone who doesn’t come with excess baggage, someone who isn’t….me.” Serena sighed.
“Now Serena, surely you don’t believe that? I’ve seen the way you two work together, I’ve seen the way you look at one another. I’m sure you both think you’re being subtle but you’re not. I know love when I see it.”
Serena raised her eyebrow,
“Go to the airport, go and find her. Don’t leave it like this and if she still goes then at least it will be on better terms.”
“You make it sound like one of those sappy romantic movies.” Serena said half chuckling.
“Go.” Ric repeated in a deep voice.
“I can’t just leave, I’m sure I’ll be needed today.”
“I’ll cover for you.”
Serena looked at Ric and bit her lip, she turned and grabbed her coat and bag then walked and placed her hand on Ric’s shoulder.
“Thank you Ric.”
Ric nodded and watched as Serena walked through the ward towards the exit and he smiled to himself.
“Where’s Serena going?” Raf said standing next to Ric.
“She’s got some unfinished business to attend to, she’ll be back but for now you’ve got me helping you.”
Serena practically jumped into her car and the first thing she did was pick up her phone, she went straight to Bernie and hovered over it for a second before pushing down on the screen. It started ringing and suddenly she felt nervous, her palms were clammy, it rang four or five times before going to the answer phone and Serena sighed.
“Bernie.” Serena whispered as she started the car, she cleared her throat.
“Right, it’s now or never.” She said to herself and drove off in direction of Bernie’s home.
It didn’t take long for Serena to get to Bernie’s and as she got there she noticed Bernie’s car and relief washed over her, she hadn’t missed her. Serena stopped the car and got out and she started shaking, she could feel it in her hands. Thinking about doing this was okay but actually being here right now, it was terrifying, what if Bernie walked away from her again? Serena wasn’t sure if she could handle it. She walked up the driveway and stopped at the front door, oh what she’d give for a glass of Shiraz right now.
Her hand hovered over the door and she shook her head slightly and turned around,
“I can’t do this….I can’t do this.” Serena muttered.
She was so much in her own mind that she didn’t hear the front door open.
“Oh Berenice.”
“If you stand there any longer, I’m sure the neighbours will start to worry.” Bernie said behind Serena.
Serena jumped and turned around, she stared at Bernie who looked as upset as Serena did earlier on.
“Oh, I was just here because I, well I just, no, I don’t know, I….I’m just going to go.” Serena said, looking at the ground, as she was about to turn she felt Bernie’s hand on her arm.
“Come inside.”
“No.” Serena whispered and Bernie tilted her head.
“No, I will not come inside. You leave me at that bloody hospital and you want me to come inside?”
“Serena please.” Bernie said.
“No, you will listen to me. I understand if you think we are rushing things between us but I can assure you, I know how I feel.” Serena held her hand over her heart.
“You think just because I haven’t kissed a woman before you that if you run away then I’ll forget about you? I won’t Bernie, I can’t! You’ve gotten under my skin, I can’t…it hurts so much. Why did you walk away? You pushed me. I told you how I feel. Bernie, I lov-“
“Don’t say it.”
“Oh because if I don’t say it, it won’t make it real to you?” Serena said, her voice laced with anger.
“I love you Berenice Wolfe and I knew I felt something before the first kiss we shared, I can’t help how I feel and I’m not going to stop it.”
Bernie took a step towards Serena and without thinking, she wrapped her arms around Serena and at first Bernie was waiting for rejection, she was waiting for Serena to push her away but instead Serena melted into her arms, she lay her head on Bernie’s shoulder and Bernie held her tight.
“I’m sorry.” Bernie whispered.
“God, I’m so sorry Serena, forgive me please?” Bernie added.
“I didn’t want to hurt you, I thought if we gave one another space it would be better for us but it seems I’ve already hurt you. Don’t you see how much of a failure I am? A failed marriage, children who don’t want to know me. I destroy everything and my god, the thought of destroying you, I cannot even think about it.”
“You took the cowards way out.” Serena whispered.
“And I apologise, I had just finished on the phone with Henrik when I saw you standing here. I’m not going to Ukraine anymore.”
Serena looked up,
“You’re not going?” She asked with a hopeful tone.
“No, I’m staying here with you. That’s if you’ll have me.” Bernie said.
“If you ever do anything like that again, I’ll give you hell!” Serena said tears filling up her eyes.
“Understood.” Bernie said laughing.
“You silly woman, I thought I’d lost you, oh Bernie.” Serena rested her forehead on Bernie’s and they both closed their eyes.
“Will you come inside now?” Bernie asked and Serena laughed.
“Of course Ms Wolfe, lead the way.”