It's just a good bye
"Mom !"
She turns her drawers over, searches in her old dressing room, but nothing could be done. It sticks invisible. Abby hurtles down the stairs of their spacious loft overlooking Los Angeles. It’s been 5 years now. She moved from this house to move into a new apartment with Raven and Octavia for her studies. To be back here now is giving her -to tell the truth-… no emotions. It’s meaningless. A little like one of these railways stations where we are waiting for a connection, where we are only passing through. We stay for a moment, we cross paths with many people, it’s full of life but we don’t feel a real link with somebody. It’s impersonal. Of course, nothing can ever replace their little family house on the seashore in Santa Monica where she spent so many afternoons to run, to have fun with her friends and to eat ice-creams with her dad. It’s been also now more than 5 years that he left her and her mom. He died from a long illness, a stomach cancer, which was taken to late to begin a remission. Such an irony when we know that her mother is one of the greatest surgeons in Los Angeles. The time is flying but to think about her father remain painful. Following this event, she began to study in medicine. A way at her level to try in her turn to help many families and spear them from the grief she had felt for years, thinking about the smile of this caring father.
Clarke shakes her head at this thought. It was not the time to break into tears, especially not in front of her mother. She sighs.
"Damn it ! I can’t find this fucking passport… you don’t know at all where it can be ?
- Your language young girl !" She says with a smile, to which Clarke had responded with rolled eyes. My mother, this saint.
"It’s not like I could enter your room without invitation."
"When I was 15, of course ! Can you name one person who loves to see her mother shows up unannounced ? ». Then, she takes her biggest smile and a little teasing, she adds "I have no doubt that you love to know in person the people I see, but…"
- Ok ! I think we should stop now. I think I know where you want to go with that" she chuckles. Clarke knew where her natural gift to avoid serious discussions is coming from. "And for your information, I think that it must be in your "secret drawer" like you loved to called it. It certainly hasn’t moved since your trip in Paris when you were in ninth grade.
A secret drawer… of course… How could she not have thought of that before ? A brilliant idea when we think that our most important secrets can be safe in 4 wood lathes. It was sooo her : Clarke Griffin, the ex-freak. After moving towards the hiding place, she pulls out -with relief- the precious thing. "Great ! Got it ! I need to go now or O and Rae will kill me." And before she can do anything, the thing that she fears the most came : her mother is taking her in her arms, crying :
"I’m going to miss you…
- I know" she says softly. She has always been the hugging-type but with her mother, the hugs were always way much too long and they are always going to end in tears. Tears of sadness or joy, but still. And she was not really in the mood to compromise her last day here. Okay, that’s right, after all, I don’t leave on a humanitarian mission for 6 months everyday. Maybe I can make an exception…
"Unless you want to register me in a wet shirt contest, I will love to reach the pub dry". At least, she had succeeded to give a little smile to get a smile from her mother. A small victory. The woman released her embrace and looked to her daughter smiling :
"Of course ! Go. Marcus sends you his best wishes. He would love to see you before your departure, but he has currently some obligations…
- …Top secret. I think I know don’t worry !" She goes down the door steps and turns back : "I will try to send you texts from time to time but I can’t promise you anything. The connection will be difficult and we must preserve the electricity grid.
- Do as you can. Have a safe trip darling !"
She knows pertinently that she will do nothing with it. And her mother knows that it was not against her. Clarke had always kept a part of her life secret from her and she really takes this mission very seriously. It will be her first experience in the field as part of the "Red Cross". She will be able to exercise her talents in a little medical center in the Cambodian jungle, in an area which is affected by a malaria pandemic, especially with the Tropical season on coming. The fact that she may help people with difficulties is a great motivation. She will most probably not change their life, but at her level, she may contribute to make their life a little better. That’s why she loves her job. To see the smiles.
But it was not the only reason. Recently, she found her life extremely boring. Of course, she had a wonderful boyfriend, an adorable mother who had founded a certain stability again with Marcus and above all, a bunch of crazy and insufferable friends that she loves deeply. Hell ! Even her internship runs smoothly ! She was warm-welcomed in her unit and Nyilah who follows the same degree than her was helping her a lot. Despite all of theses things, she felt not "complete". Like if there is something which was missing, a grain of folly and extravagance. The beginning of a routine.
As soon as she had seen the offer for a mission on the other side of the world, she jumped at the opportunity. Maybe to be cut off from the rest of the world and be out of the ordinary will help her. She had spoken about her projects with Raven and Octavia and the young mechanic who was waiting for a good reason to leave her asshole boss said "Ok, I’m on it too". She had some skills in engineering and about radio transmission so her help will not be in the way to assist Monty and maintain the management of the base on site. After three months of planning, there it is, excited to tell herself that tomorrow, she will be in the other side of the hemisphere.
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Finn was waiting her next to his car, an Audi A3 black he had painfully offered him after three years working for the multinational corporation Farm Inc. It was with a smile on her face that she remembered the joy of his boyfriend this day. He had surprised her and came to take her with his new purchase after a difficult day for her at the university. This memory goes hand in hand with the memory of the very festive inauguration, which have take placen in the car just after. Hopefully, the seats haven’t a shape memory. She blushes, ashamed and in the same time satisfy about this epic night. Finn moves forward her, take her luggage and opens the car door :
"My lady…
- You know how I love the old school romantic, but that…" She grimaces.
He laughs. She loves to see him like that. Finn has been really patient with her before she accepts to go out with him. Two long years of flirt. She finally gave in to give a try and found his company fairly enjoyable. His bed experience is playing in his favor, but she didn’t know that yet. Everything was not perfect in their history. Raven, her best friend since the Junior high school, had a complicated relationship with the brown-hair boy. She has been in love with him since their childhood and when Clarke told her about Finn, who began to make a move towards her, their relationship has been damaged. But the day when she understood that Clarke and Finn felt each other honest feelings, she had taken upon herself and came back toward her 2 friends. After a long and alcoholic speech, she told Clarke that she wants to move on and try to turn the page. She succeeded more or less this night after hooking up with a freshman. Clarke had appreciated Raven’s maturity, at least, on this subject. Above all, Clarke was not sure that if her friend had asked her to choose between her and Finn, her life will be the same now.
Finn’s voice pulled her out of her reverie :
"Here we are !"
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"Ugmf !" Barely 5 seconds after the door of the bar passed, Clarke feels a huge and unknown weight on her. Until when she returns and recognizes the brunette who jump on her.
"Grifffffffffin !!!!! My friend !!!! Have you seen the hour ?!!
- Raven, I will love avoiding passing away before I’m getting on the plane
- Tsss… Out of questions ! This night, we will do a marathon pub crawl babe ! I want to taste alllll the cocktails in this street before we will be shut off in this hermit base for 6 months. Margarita, Mojito, Jagerbomb & Long Island, I love youuuu !!!!!!
- We will see that ! You know I love you too" She smiles and admires Raven’s enthusiasm. "Finn is following. Let me pass to see Octavia, I meet you after.
- Bring some shots !"
She moves toward the counter to see Octavia. She has one year of difference with her and Raven but the three of them have got along with each other on the spot. They quickly became inseparable. After the High school, they briefly gone away from each other to make their lives, but they never lost contact. After one year spent in Brazil, Octavia came back to Los Angeles and found a bartender job at the "Trige" pub.
"Hey Clarkey ! What’s up ? Everything is packed ?
- Yeah, it’s done ! And hopefully because with the evening program of Rae, I highly doubt that I can do anything tomorrow morning !" She burst out laughing. "Since when is she here ?
- Since 6pm… And if the role of barfly was not so brilliantly taken by Joe… » When his name was said at loud, an old man lifted up his head. With a misty look, he took his glass of whiskey and raised it in the direction of the two girls "… I will engrave a golden slab with her name here, I swear ! And talking about that, no way you can leave me here alone and go outside to go from bar to bar !" She exclaims, violently putting down a glass on the bar counter. "Of all of the days in a week, you choose to celebrate the eve of your departure a night when I’m working !"
- O, your job is literally to serve cocktails every single night. It will be a huge luck if it was a night when you are not working rather than the contrary …"
Octavia rolls her eyes and gives in.
"Okay ! But one condition. You stay here at least until midnight. I will try to give the end of my service to Gina. She owes me one
- Stop being grumpy little Blake ! Raven has thrown. « Of course we will wait for your young pretty face, but you will excuse us to begin the party and put some ambiance here. I just wanna see the comeback of Party Girl Griffin !!"
Here we go again ! She sighs, with a smile in the corner of her mouth.
Finn moves closer to her and gives her a drink.
"If you need to escape, make me a sign. Pretend to suffocate or something like that and I will begin a well protected raid with you toward the apartment without any halts.
Nope, No way !" She says. In the background, Octavia and Raven had already begun to relate at the half crew of the pub their epic parties through their years of students in High school and university later. Incredible moments that Clarke will never forget. She really loves them deeply. She was delighted that Raven will come with her but sad to leave Octavia here. She will miss her and she knows that Octavia will feel the same, but the youngest will not show her feelings. She always needs to play the hard one, even if she has a big heart. It’s one of her qualities that Clarke admire about her friend.
On the other hand, the terrible imitation of her that Raven and Octavia were doing at this exact moment to embarrassing her in front of her BF was not really what she prefers.
"Bitches ! I don’t even know where I’m friend with you too. You do not deserve me." She simulates, with a false sad face before she takes a swallow of her cocktail. Full-bodied.
"Owww Clarkey
- Come here sweety, the love of my life…" Raven declaims, coming lasciviously next to Clarke to take her in her arms.
"Eh !" Finn pretends to be offended.
"Finn. You have literally 0 chances against me. If I had made a little move at that time, your little princess would have succumbed to my Caliente charm you know" and Clarke plays the game.
"Come here my beloved little mechanic, we need to be isolate ourselves…
- Ahah, very funny.
- No repartee and no humor. Come on Clarkey ? Why him and not me…" Raven laments about her fate and give the blonde-aired a puppy face.
"Shut up Rae". Then, she gives a small kiss on the cheek of her boyfriend before to go to the discussion on various subjects.
-------------
After three hours, Octavia finally leave her service and reaches the trio with shooters in her hands.
"Great ! You’re still here ! Stop speaking and now, acting ! I’m wayyy too late in comparison of you three." She empties quickly two glasses. "Okay. Now pull your breasts up and go on the dance floor". Finn can’t help smiling :
"Any beauty advises for me Octavia ?
- God… Come on, move !"
Two hours pass. In the meantime, Lincoln had joined Octavia. It was now almost 6 months the two of them were together. He was a chef in a well-known starred restaurant in the city. It’s kind of funny since he’s not looking first like a delicate man at all with his shoulder span and his huge tattoos on the body. Raven and Clarke had never seen their friend just as happy in a relationship as she is now with him. She was kinda explosive and she really needed someone who can be able to stand up to her and in the same, to be able to appease her. Surprisingly, Lincoln was the perfect match.
It was only 2am but Clarke felt the tiredness in her body. The few glasses plus the heat of the place contributed also to her state. Finn noticed it.
"You want to go home ?
- Yeah, I think we should go. There are still some stuffs I need to take in your place and I will love to sleep a little. I will try to find Raven". And she finds her in the middle of a talk with a pretty dude, so she decided to leave her to not interrupt anything. She came back to Lincoln and Octavia, who have decided to hug her.
"I will miss you…
- Me too O…
- I love you, I love you so much you two bitches". After a silence, she says : "Are you absolutely sure that you don’t need at all a bartender on the base ? We can organize some big crazy parties with the local population which can make David Guetta jealous…
- Octavia...
- Ok ok ! I tried ! It’s worth a shot !" She gives a smile to Clarke when she sees the funny face of the blonde-haired who come closer to Lincoln to take him in her arms too. Or maybe the contrary.
"Lincoln, we entrust you to take care of her…
- Oh, thanks, I’m really touched." He answers with a theatrical sentence and an ultra-bright smile, but he was really serious and honest, because he knows the involvement of Clarke’s words. Since her trip in Brazil, it will be the first time that Octavia will be alone in her trio. Even when she was in South America, she succeeded to contact Raven and Clarke through Skype. Of course, Jasper, Gina, Fox and some of her friends are still in LA but it’s not the same. And to be alone in their big flat is exciting, but also a little terrifying. She had revealed her fears to Lincoln and the young man knows that he needs to be more present than anything now. He wants to do everything for her. Maybe it was only 6 months but hell, he really loved her and he can imagine easily a future life with her.
Clarke separates herself and Octavia from the group to talk with her.
"I saw Rae, she’s hooked to the guitarist who played earlier. If she is looking for us…
- Don’t worry, I will tell her you left." Then, Octavia glances up to Finn. "I was so sure that he will make his proposal before you left, like the big romantic he is…"
The wedding. Of course she had thought about it, but she was really not ready. She was only 23 and she will have all the time to think about it later. A ring before or after her mission will not change everything. She will miss him, he will miss her, but at the end, they will go back together. She will have all the time to discuss about it with him when she will come back. Maybe.
The 2 boys were staring at them.
"You know what I think about it. And between us, I don’t think I will be the first in the trio to get a proposal…
- Ugh, we will see. Come on, have fun !"
Clarke was midway between Finn and Octavia when she hears a cry behind her :
"AND USE PROTECTIONS !
- Gross. Yes, mom ! Oh ! And when I will come back, I will love if you make me again this blue cocktail. I don’t know what you put in the glass, but it rocks !"
The smile on Octavia’s face can’t be more wider. It was a cocktail she had invented recently.
"Count on it !"
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The ride towards Finn’s flat only last 20 minutes, but yet, she felt the alcohol go way and the fatigue take control of her body. She puts her luggage inside the bedroom, go to the bathroom to refresh her skin and then, 10 minutes later, she drops her dead body on the bed. Finn came 15 minutes later and take her in his arms, then he plants a brief kiss on her lips. Half asleep, she turns in the bed to face him.
"Sleep tight my princess. I love you."
-------
A ring… What the fuck. It’s only 7am. Why ? Oh. Wait. That’s right, the airport.
Clarke dragged herself slowly from the bed where Finn was sleeping deeply. He will begin at 9am. He had an hour yet and she doesn’t want for him to feel like she felt right now. Physically, she was a waste. So tired. She put mechanically some clothes on her. Hopefully, there will be some long hours of plane.
In the kitchen, she took a strong espresso – but what’s the point ? – and after she has quickly eaten a slice of cake which was on the table, she heads for the bathroom to prepare herself. After she has judged her appearance satisfying enough to not scare a child if she meets one of them at the airport, she closed the door of the flat. Outside, Raven was waiting for her and she was fresh like she has slept for an entire day.
This girl is really incredible.
"A little more and I will call the cops to come and kick down your door. What took you so long ?
- Raven, slow down please
- Uhuh, no way. You make me dream. Hold on ! Don’t move. A smile for the camera !"
The flash crackled and it blinded Clarke for half a second.
"WTF Rae !"
But she wasn’t listening at all and she was beginning to type frantically on her phone. A pretty filter and a hash tag later, she turned back to the blonde.
"You will thank me. When you will be an old and bitter woman, you will show this picture to your grandchildren. They will be so proud to know that their grandma was a bad ass and cool woman when she was young. I’m insuring your reputation for your future progeny you know !
- Thanks Rae ! What will I do without you. Especially when we know I’m the coolest among us ! It sucks, I should have recorded what you had said and use it to my default ring tone.
- Whatever ! If it can help you to feel better, I can play Mother Teresa this time. Come on ! Get in the car Princess !"
Half an hour later, they enter in the entrance hall of the airport. They were lucky, their flight was announced on the right time, like it was planned. They drop off their luggage and move towards the security checks. After that, they sat on some seats and waiting for their boarding call.
"So ! You have nothing to tell me about ?
- Mmmh ? I don’t know what you are talking about" Raven says blasé.
"Rae ... So last night ?
- Oh ! You are speaking about Sasha ?
- If it’s the name of the guy with a leather jacket you’ve been speaking with when I left the pub, then yes I guess !
- Ah, Wick. No, it was just a one-night stand. We talked a little, he told me that he was engaged with one of her ex-groupie… Stuffs like that. No, after, I see Sasha again. Do you remember her ? We were in our senior year together, she hung out a lot with your cousin. She is tall, athletic with a tanned skin and she has a long black hair ?"
Clarke tried to remember this girl. They certainly hung out in the same parties but to told the truth, she doesn’t really have a memory of this Sasha.
"Maybe, vaguely…
- Trust me, if you had seen her yesterday, there was no way you can miss her…". She took a sip of her Coke and continue. "She came just after Wick left me. Lincoln and Octavia were busy with themselves and I was bored. I talked a little with Joe and then, she came along and sat next to me. At the beginning, I didn’t recognize her, but she seemed to recognize me. At the same time, how could you ever forget this" Raven said showing her own body.
Clarke burst out laughing. Of course, objectively, it was hard to forget Raven but not only because of her appearance. She was unique and she deserved to find someone who makes her fill that.
"Anyway, we drank some beers, talked a little. The "Linctavia" came to tell me that they will leave the pub soon. Lincoln wanted to drive me safely in my home with my car since I’ve drunk a lot but Sasha nicely offers her place. You know how it ends. We inclined the passenger seat and…"
Clarke shivered at the thought.
"WAIT A MINUTE ! The seat where I were sitting a bit earlier ?" Clarke shouts with fear in her eyes. Raven nods. Clarke’s face splits up.
Suddenly, she heard a loud laugh next to her.
"Your face ? Priceless. Do you want to do it again so I can take a picture and put that in my phone background ?
- Jackass" Clarke told her, relieved.
"Come on, it was fun !
- To make me believe that I were sitting for more than 30 minutes in your orgasm ? Yeah, I love it ! A pleasure ! I love to share ! Next time, make out in our car. I think I have a new type fantasy now
- You know perfectly that I care too much about the well-being of my partner to play that in the car, on the contrary on other people" She said with a wink." But if you offer me a limo, maybe…"
Clarke understood the hint and she hurried Raven to speak about her story
" Okay ! And what after ?
- Nothing. She took my keys and drove me back. We watched a film and we spent the night together, but we did nothing. She didn’t want to take advantage of me since I was drunk ect. Normally, I will tell you that what she said was absolute bullshit, but she seemed honest and I really wanted to believe her…"
That, that was a first. Usually, the men and women who hang out with Raven don’t need any encouragement or prayers to make out with her. And Raven hardly ever shows her emotional side like now. In the distance, she heard an announcement : The passengers for the flight A303 in the direction of Angkor in Cambodia need to reach immediately the boarding gate. I repeat, the passeng…
Clarke turned away from the loudspeaker and looks at her friend.
"And you think that you will see her again when we will come back ?
- I don’t know, frankly. She is nice, I love how she is, plus, we have lots of common traits, but for now I don’t know if I can believe in a hypothetical relationship. We will see. 6 months, it’s long."
Yeah, 6 months is a really long time.
Twenty minutes after, they were in their flying carriage. When the plane begins to fly, Clarke glances through the window.
In the same time, on the ground, perched on top of a tree at almost 10 000 miles from here, 2 emerald-green eyes were looking at the sky