Hold you closer
Xander reread the letter he had just finished writing and after verifying that everything was as it should be, tucked the parchment away into its envelope and finished it with a seal.
Behind him laid out on the couch, a feature he was grateful someone had the foresight to put in the study, Laslow let out a small sigh and fidgeted in discomfort but did not awaken.
Hours before he had been helping Xander go through the endless letters but as time went by fatigue began to consume him and after some stern urging from his king he went to lay down for what he promised would only be a few minutes.
Xander couldn’t help but marvel the fact that even 8 months pregnant Laslow was just as stubborn as ever and would not be deterred form helping his husband in any way possible.
It’s true that Xander valued his council on most matters and did appreciate the things Laslow did for him, including fighting alongside him.
That changed however when he found out about the pregnancy and as it progressed he became increasingly worried about what the future would hold.
It had gotten to the point that he had difficulty talking to Laslow and when he had been told by a breathless Elise his husband had collapsed all of his fears made themselves known.
As it turned out both Lalsow and the child were fine and the fainting had been a result of a small cold and stress. After only a little urging from Camilla he sat down and the rather difficult talk about his concerns over the child’s birth.
The memory had Xander run a hand over his face and turn back to make sure his love was still there and alright before going back to the work at hand.
The next letter bore the symbol that he recognized from house Clegane, a rather wealthy house whos leader made it known that he wanted a spot in the royal court.
Xander eyed the seal warily, the letters he had received from them before had been about proposed marriage plans concerning him and his siblings, and with all of them in committed relationships he knew it would be a proposal for something different.
Opening it he read the same lengthy formalities about how the man wished his king only the best health and happiness that he had seen in almost every letter that was from a higher family.
After that the man went to say that he had overheard that the Royal Consort was in poor health and that he sends his regards, this made Xander pause it had already been a week since Laslow collapsed and he doubted that’s what Clegane was referring to.
Xander read on and his frown deepened as the man wrote about his three daughters; he described their age, their studies, appearance and when he wrote that the third had recently entered womanhood Xander had enough.
Putting the letter down he could only stare at it before a whirlwind of emotions burst through. The most prominent being disgust. How that man was so quick to give out his daughters as concubines on the faint chance it would win him favor with the king was truly despicable.
Disgust merged with anger at the certainty Clegane had that Laslow would die either before or after birth and that when he did that Xander would need someone in his bed immediately following it.
Xander stood up and walked away from the desk, as if it was the source of his anger instead of something much deeper.
When he had been a child he had watched all of his father’s mistresses with their painted on smiles and high pitched voices.
He observed how they hit and scolded their children for misbehaving, not because of any parental responsibility, but because of the worry that it would make them less presentable.
When his mother’s health suddenly failed during her second pregnancy she gave birth early, the child never took in a breath full of air.
It was custom that only healers and midwives were to be present in the birthing room but even so Xander had found it odd his father didn’t bother to wait outside of the door while his mother went through the pain.
She demanded to see her son once more and after striking a midwife Xander was fetched and brought into the dark and silent room.
The boy had never seen his mother, who often reminded him of the very sun itself with her blond curls and serene smile, so weak and fragile.
He had rushed to her side when she held out her hand for him and found tears start when she tried and failed to speak.
After a moment she found her voice and told him how much she adored him and begged him to stay strong for her and to be the king Nohr was meant to have.
Queen Katarina, wife of King Garon, was the first corpse Xander had ever seen and in the power struggle that followed he would see those same glazed over eyes on many other family members.
He had vowed then to never take a mistress and to never allow so much blood to be spilt over pettiness. Then his womanizing, mysterious yet ever loyal retainer had gifted him with a true smile that filled Xander with a warmth he couldn’t last remember feeling and he knew he was in trouble.
It had been an interesting courtship to say the least and Xander knows he had crossed a line more than once. Yet despite the difficulties not only in the relationship but around them, he was the crown prince after all and expected to carry on the legacy, they loved each other whole heartedly.
After the war he asked Laslow to marry him and in that moment he wasn’t a King finding a suitable partner, he was a man asking to share the rest of life with the one he loved beside him.
Many people considered that foolish and in some ways they were right, Laslow did not provide any sort of political union and when they wed it was assumed that having biological kids was not possible.
Xander turned back and was surprised to see that Laslow was not only awake but staring at him with open concern. The look was quickly replaced by his trademark smile, “what’s this? Finally decided to take a break have we?”
His tone was light but did not hide the worry he held for Xander’s stress level that only rose higher each day. A look at the clock made him cringe at how long his supposed nap had lasted and despite the urge to merely lay back down he forced himself into a sitting position.
Granted that did take some effort and time and it seemed that the child had awoken has well and was making up for lost time to roll around.
At an especially hard kick Laslow winced and rubbed the area in the attempt to settle the child down. The action had Xander beside him in an instant but before he had a chance to ask Laslow cut him off, “now, now no need to worry. I was just caught off guard by a kick is all. I must say that they’ve definitely inherited your strength.”
At the statement Xander nodded wordlessly and found his gaze drawn to the concealed bump that somehow managed to excite yet worry him.
Sitting down beside his husband he turned and kissed him, drawing the dancer closer as he did so. Laslow was taken off guard but before he could deepen it Xander pulled back and ran a thumb over the other man’s cheek.
Concern began spreading at the way Xander was suddenly acting, and he was trying to figure out the way to word his concern so as to not insult the man when he was pulled into a tight hug.
“I love you.” Laslow swore that he would never get used to hearing those words from him and he wrapped his arms around the king, gripping him tightly in assurance that he wasn’t going anywhere. “I love you, too.”