Why?
Lexa drew circles with her thumb on the back of Clarke's hand. It had been almost two days and the blonde hadn't woken up, or moved, or given any sign of being alive other than her faint pulse and ragged breath. The healer had been able to suture her wound and remove the arrow, but they couldn't know when, or if she'd wake up.
Lexa's eyes were swollen from the back of sleep, but there was nothing she could do. She was waiting for Clarke. She needed her to wake up. Hell, she needed her.
Then, a finger moved. Lexa looked at her hand but saw no movement. She must've imagined it. But then Clarke softly squeezed her hand. Her eyes fluttered open and stared into Lexa's green ones as she tiredly smiled.
"Hey"
Tears started to flow relentlessly from Lexa's eyes as she heard the blonde's voice
"Lexa, it's OUCH" she grunted in pain as she tried to sit up
Lexa pushed her back down "Stay still, we didn't save you so you can pop all those stitches the moment you wake up" she said between sobs
"Hey" Clarke squeezed her hand again, this time more firmly "It's okay. I'm okay. Mai gonplei ne ste odon. My fight isn't over...yet." she took a quick glance at Lexa, it was clear she hadn't left her side since the battle. The brunette was still covered in mud and blood and wearing her armor. "You're bleeding" Clarke pointed at the black blood coming out of Lexa's arm "let me clean that for you"
Lexa looked at her arm first and then at Clarke. She seemed frightened, yet it was a small cut.
"You knew." Fear and anxiousness made it hard for her to talk "You knew I'm..."
"A Natblida? Of course, since we met. Why?" Clarke stared nonchalantly as she tried to clean Lexa's wound without moving too much so as not to hurt herself
"Oh come on, Lexa. You're going to be Heda, get over it."
Lexa looked at Clarke, and for the first time she allowed herself to truly see the girl as she was: intelligent enough to know what her fate was, yet brave to care about her. And who was she kidding, her feelings weren't unrequited. Not at all. And Clarke deserved everything: love, a long life, happiness, the entire world. And over all, she deserved the truth.
"Clarke"she caressed the other girl's cheek "that's why"
The blonde looked at her without understanding
"That's why what?"
And then Lexa said the most painful words Clarke had ever heard
"That's why we can't be together"