Clarke
"And you?" Lexa asked
"Huh?"
"Yeah, tell me about you"
Clarke shrugged "There's really not much to tell."
"Come on, I just told you everything there is to know about me." Lexa looked hurt
"Fine. I don't know who the hell my parents are, or were, or whatever. The point is, they never gave a shit about me. Abandoned me in the streets the minute I was born. Neko found me and took me to his elder sister, who was kind of in charge back then. I was raised in the streets with no one to back me up except for Neko, and even he doesn't do much for me, because he knows I don't need nor want him to treat me differently. His sister died a couple of years ago and I'm kind of the closest thing to family that he has left, and I guess he is supposed to be like family to me, but I really don't want to care too much about anybody, because I saw what his sister's death did to him and I don't care dealing with that. But I don't want..." She stopped
Lexa realised what she implied "He cares, even though you treat him like you don't"
"I know."
They remained silent for a while and then Lexa dared to ask her "You save money. Why?"
Clarke glared at her "Because I want to"
"Yes, but I've seen you selling stuff to get it, stuff that could've been useful to you and..."
"You know who Indra is?"
"Um...yeah"
"Well, a year ago I asked her to take me as her second. She said I'm a child so no. I told her I'm better than many who are older than me, but still I would want to be her apprentice. She said if I paid her, she'd teach me."
Lexa was surprised "Why do you want to be her second?"
"I'm no one, Lexa. And I have no one. When you are like me, you need to become someone."
And then, Lexa did something none of them expected: she hugged her. Clarke got tense as she became aware of what was happening and slowly decided to hug Lexa back. They stayed like that for a couple of minutes and then Clarke spoke "I haven't hugged anyone since I was two"
"Well. It was about time, then" Lexa said as she broke the hug
Clarke smiled "Yeah, I guess it was"
That was when things really changed between them.
---------------------
Nine years later, both of them had been training with Indra as their friendship grew closer. At the age of seventeen, Lexa had managed to become Indra's predilect pupil and second, whilst Clarke, who'd already turned eighteen, had preferred to be a healer, which didn't stop her from also being one of the fiercest warriors amongst the grounders.
And, although they were each other's best (if not only) friends, there was an unspoken truth going on between them. A truth so obvious, yet they refused to acknowledge it out of fear, because even though on the battlefield none of them were scared, life was a different kind of battle.
A year ago, Clarke had dared to finally express what everyone knew. It was a regular day, they were both sitting by the river, talking about old times. Now they lived in a cabin with other two teens who were also training to become warriors, and for the first time in a long while for Lexa, and the first time ever for Clarke, they had proper rooms, and even real furs to sleep in, instead of the rags they'd been used to for so long. They could afford some real clothing, yet everything they had had been achieved with hard work and effort.
They'd talked about everything and nothing at the same time, and they'd decided to sleep by the river and watch the sunrise. Everything was fine, until they began to speak about their feelings.
Lexa's head was lying on Clarke's shoulder as she braided the brunette's hair. Lexa was playing with Clarke's golden braids as they spoke.
"I might have to go to Polis" Lexa spoke
"When?"
"Next week or so"
Clarke bit her lip "For how long?"
Lexa turned around to look at her "Indra thinks I should live there"
Clarke shifted awkwardly in her seat. She remained silent as she broke eye contact and started looking around.
"Clarke"
"..."
"Clarke, come on"
"..."
"It's not like I'm going to stop talking to you"
"Like that's why I care about"
Lexa looked at her "You wouldn't mind if we never spoke again?!" anger started to show in her voice
"No, I mean, yes, of course I'd care, Lexa, you know that"
Lexa's jaw clenched as she alwayd did when she was angry or tense "Then what did you mean?"
"You know what I meant" she had to know.
They stared intensely into each other's eyes. Clarke saw fear in Lexa's, mirroring her own. They'd been in similar situations before, but never as close as then. And Clarke couldn't hold herself back any longer. She put her hand on Lexa's cheek and kissed her softly.
It felt like fireworks and butterflies and then their mouths clashed together again, fiercely, first lips touching lips only, until Lexa began caressing Clarke's back, reassuring her and giving her the confidence to tease Lexa's lips with her tongue. They kept sharing hot, open-mouthed kisses, hands roaming freely on each other's backs until suddenly Lexa backed off abruptly, eyes filled with tears.
"I can't" she stood up "I-I'm sorry. I just, I can't"
She started walking away as Clarke stood up and grabbed her arm
"What the hell do you mean? Lexa come on. I know you..."
"I SAID I CAN'T!" Tears fell down Lexa's cheeks. Clarke let go of her arm as she tried to dry her tears, Lexa allowing her to do so. They slowly approached and Lexa trew her arms around Clarke's waist as she cried, head lying on the other girl's chest.
Clarke held her like that for quite a while and finally spoke.
"Please don't go"