Kelley sat on the edge of a cliff overlooking the beach as the sun slowly set in the distance. The cresting waves creating the illusion of flames slowly building only to be snuffed out by the surrounding waters. That’s how Kelley feels right now. Like all the joy she has in life is being snuffed out. The tumultuous waters of her thoughts drowning out all positive feelings before they even have a chance to fully form. How did this happen? How did we end up here?
“Don’t move! Help will be here soon!” is what Kelley heard when she came to. She had a raging headache and a ringing in her ears that was making it hard to concentrate on anything and the edges of her vision dark and distorted. She registered her door being opened and someone cutting her seat belt before being pulled out of the wreckage that was once their car. Before she was fully out of the car she turned to her left and saw Alex with her head resting on the window with blood smeared all around. She weakly began to fight the person trying to pull her away from the car. Away from Alex. The jostling of her struggle quickly made her dizzy, worsening the darkness in her vision. She was able to utter one word before she was lost to the world again. A short, weak, broken little call of “Lex.”
Kelley couldn’t remember a time she was ever happier before she met Alex Morgan. The two hit it off immediately becoming fast friends which quickly evolved into an intimate relationship. The night they said their first “I love you’s” will forever be branded into her memory. Which is probably why this is so difficult. All she can think about is all the good that Alex has brought into her life in the short two years they’ve been together compared to all the joys of life they’ll never be able to experience now.
It’s all their fault! Why can’t they just wait a little longer. Just give me something. A week. A month. A fucking day would be better than this. Were the thoughts going through her head at present. She knew deep down she would never be ready for this though. They could give her all the time in the world and she would still never be ready. Never be ready to say goodbye to the love her life.
"Where is Alex, mom? It's been three days and they haven't let me see her. Why won't they let me see her?" Kelley cried to her mother. She escaped with fairly minor injuries. A broken arm and mild concussion. Alex's side of the car had taken the brunt of the impact. Because of that Alex's injuries were more severe.
"Kelley, I'd bring you to her if I could. She's still in the ICU baby. We can't go see her just yet but hopefully soon the swelling will go down and she'll be moved in here with you."
"I know, I'm sorry for snapping. I'm just scared."
"I know hun."
She can feel her phone vibrating in her pocket for probably the twentieth time in the last hour. She pulls it out of her pocket expecting to see it’s her mom, or ever worse Mrs. Morgan. But it’s neither, it’s her sister Erin. Erin had been clear across the country on this day, blissfully disconnected from the cloying devastation permeating from her very being. She absent-mindedly answers; hoping, praying really, anything Erin has to say could help her claw her way out of the festering darkness that’s taken over her psyche the last while, but specifically this day. Her hopes are dashed when Erin chokes out a broken “Kelley.” That’s all it takes for Kelley to drop her phone, pull her knees to her chest, and promptly release gut wrenching sobs. She knew what it meant. It meant the light in the dark cavern that’s become her life, and will continue to be her life based on how she’s feeling in this moment, has been smothered.
How am I meant to live without you? Please, please don’t go. I need you. What about our plans? We were supposed to travel the world remember? Go to that silly bridge in Paris and put our lock on there because you thought it meant our love will never end. I thought it was a stupid idea. Why do I need some rinky-dink tourist trap to remind me our love is forever? I feel it in every breath I take. Every time our eyes meet and I have to remember that breathing is essential to survival. Every kiss we share. Every night we would stay up late talking about nothing and everything at the same time and then lying in bed all morning the next day because we stayed up too late.
I got us tickets to go, you know? And a stupid pink padlock just to make you happy. I was going to surprise you with them on our anniversary. I think I’ll give them to Erin now. The tickets, not the lock. No the lock is staying with me. I might not need the lock to know I’ll forever love you, but I’ll keep it to know your love will always be with me. A tangible object to go along with my intangible feelings and memories.
Kelley wasn’t sure what time it was when she opened her eyes, still in the same position as before but instead of the darkening sky of a setting sun, she was witness to the lightening sky of a new day. the sight brought tears to her eyes. Her first day on earth without the love of her life. Without her Alex. She knew she should move. Maybe check her phone, go home, just something other than sitting there. But that was what she did. Just sit there unmoving, slowly blinking at the sea. for probably another hour or so she sat there until she felt someone sit next to her and pull her into their shoulder. She didn’t have to look to know it was her sister Erin. They sat together in silence, only broken by the gentle hiccups emitting from Kelley’s mouth. Erin let out a large exhale before opening to speak but Kelley beat her to it.
“Don’t. Just… just go back home. Nothing you say will help anything. I know you’re here for me but I just want to be alone for a little while longer. Just let me sit here and wallow for a while longer, okay? I just—” Kelley paused for a deep suffering inhale. “You need to go.”
"What do you mean its time? It's been three fucking weeks! You're ready to throw in the towel? Give up on your daughter?"
"Kelley, she hasn't had any brain activity since they brought her in. There's nothing they can do to bring her back. This wasn't eas—" Pam Morgan was cut off but a righteously angry Kelley O'Hara.
"Wasn't easy? Oh bullshit! It took you all of two seconds to come to this decision. I won't let you do this. You can't take her from me." Kelley spat out.
"I think its time you realize that the Alex we all love, the one that you love so much, died in that accident that day. The quicker you accept that the quicker you can move on."
"Alex Morgan just isn't someone I can move on from Mrs. Morgan. I'm sorry, but I wont sit around and watch you kill the person I love the most in this shitty world." Kelley shouted out as she made her way out the door and then out the hospital altogether.
“That’s no way to speak to your sister, Kell. Especially after ignoring all her calls.” Said a voice that melted the ice block that formed around her heart.
“Tell me I’m not imaging things. Erin.” Kelley refused to turn around. Afraid her mind is playing a sick joke on her. “Erin, please, you hear her too?”
“Why don’t you turn around and see for yourself.” Came from her sister next to her.
Kelley closed her eyes but slowly turned around. She didn’t want to get her hopes up that she isn’t truly there, standing a few feet in front of her right now, when she should be on a cold slab at the morgue. She slowly opens her eyes and feels faint by what she sees.
“Hi Kells.” Alex Morgan says from her wheelchair. Kelley isn’t sure she’s ever seen Alex look as shy as she does right now. And definitely not as beautiful. No, never as beautiful as this moment. Half shaved head and all.
“What. How? I Thought…” it took Kelley a minute to get her thoughts a little more in order. “How are you here right now?”
“Well, I’m not really sure what happened. The doctors are calling it a miracle. Something about a less than two percent chance of waking up but I did it Kell. I never stopped fighting to get back to you. I would never stop. You’re the—”
Kelley at this point couldn’t wait any longer and threw herself at Alex cutting her off with a bruising kiss. “Marry me. I don't know how you're here right now and I don't really care right now. I can’t wait a second longer to spend the rest of my life with you. If this has taught me anything it’s that I can’t take anything for granted. God’s given me a second chance and I plan on living it to the fullest. So Alex Patricia Morgan, will you keep making me the happiest woman on earth and marry me?”
The wheelchair bound woman could do nothing but tearily nod her head too overcome with emotion to actually speak. The two women shared one of the most tender kisses they’ve ever had. There was so much love pouring between the two in this very moment. “I love you. So much.”
“I will forever love you. You truly are my happiness."