He'll Never Look At You the Same

“Giles, I swear, she was right there!” Buffy knew she was babbling, but she couldn’t seem to stop.

She was in the high school library, the unsafest place in Sunnydale, right over the Hellmouth. However, this was where Giles was. Safe, fussy Giles, in his plain tweed coat, polishing his glasses. Looking at Buffy, as if she’d done something completely uncalled for, but Giles always looked at her that way.

“Does he?” Kendra asked. She was standing in the library, a little behind Giles. “I think he’s looking at you a little differently. Don’t you?”

“You say you saw Kendra, Buffy,” Giles said, as he put his glasses on. He stared at his Slayer through his newly polished lenses.

“Only you’re not his Slayer any more,” Kendra said, responding to Buffy’s thoughts. How could she do that? Yes, they were both Slayers, but Kendra was dead. This couldn’t be Kendra. Could it? “What reason does he have to interest himself in you, any more?”

“Giles, she’s right here,” Buffy whispered. Kendra took a step closer to Giles, close enough for him to have noticed her.

“Right now?” Giles said, blinking at Buffy, as if she’d lost it. He looked around, clearly not seeing Kendra.

“Perhaps you have ‘lost it’,” Kendra said. Head held high, she looked accusingly at Buffy. “Even a lesbian would have to be a bit touched in the head to go after Faith.”

“I’m not going after her!” Buffy snapped. The hysteria in her own voice, plus the look on Giles’ face shut her up. Giles shook his head, a single, sharp gesture of warning, but it was too late.

“What are you talking about?” The question was delivered with prissy pomposity as Wesley Wyndam-Price stepped out of the stacks. As if he had every right to be there.

“Which he does,” Kendra said, giving Wesley a sidelong glance. “Mr. Wyndam-Price is your Watcher, now. Your fake father figure is not.”

“Shut up,” Buffy muttered. She could feel the violence coiling up in her, itching to be released. Oh, how wonderful it would be to release it! Faith wouldn’t have hesitated. Faith would have hit someone by now.

Why was she thinking of Faith?! Again?!

“Buffy, I am your Watcher now,” Wesley said. He managed to puff out his chest and look down at her, as he spoke. What a wonderful target for her fists he would make! “I will remind you that it is your duty to listen to me and to answer my questions.”

“That’s right, it is,” Kendra said, glancing over at Wesley. “Like it or not, Mr. Wyndam-Price is your Watcher now. Not Mr. Giles.” A tiny smirk touched the corners of the dead Slayer’s mouth. “Anything, such as strange visions, should be discussed with Mr. Wyndam-Price. Not Mr. Giles.”

“Shut up,” Buffy growled. Oh, the urge to punch both Kendra and Wes was so strong! Faith would have done it. Faith wouldn’t have put up with any of this shit.

Buffy tried not to groan, out loud. Once more, she was thinking of Faith.

“Yes, you can’t stop thinking of Faith, can you?” Kendra asked. “What would Faith do?” Her smirk grew. “Soon, you’ll be thinking about what you would like Faith to do.” She took a step towards Buffy. Neither Wesley nor Giles seemed to notice her. “Not to mention what you would like to do to her.”

“Shut up!” Buffy snarled, as she swung her fist. The thinking, reasoning part of brain knew something was wrong. No one was reacting to Kendra, just reacting to Buffy with an open mouth. Wesley was, of all the idiotic things, moving towards her, towards Kendra. Buffy’s fist passed through Kendra, as if she wasn’t there. It managed to connect with Wesley on the side of his face, as he approached. The new Watcher went down with a thump.

Giles watched him fall, looking as if he wasn’t certain whether to be concerned, or amused. “Well, I can’t say I haven’t wanted to do the same thing for some time,” he said, studying his prone replacement.

“I wasn’t aiming at him,” Buffy protested, as she stared at Wesley on the floor. Kendra was no longer there. “I was trying to hit Kendra.”

“Why?” Giles asked. He stared at her in earnest surprise. “I’ll admit, I can’t see or hear Kendra, but we don’t know for certain it isn’t her.” Was there a hint of an accusation in his eyes? “I know you and Kendra had your difficulties, but I thought you became friends.”

“Go ahead,” Kendra said. She was standing right behind Buffy. “Tell him why you tried to hit me.” Buffy whirled around to face her. “Tell him who came between us. Tell him how much you prefer Faith to me.” Her dark eyes glittered with malice. “Go on, tell him!”

Buffy swallowed, as she stared at the dead Slayer. Anything she might have said was stuck in her throat.

“Buffy?” Giles had taken a step closer, over Wesley. His voice had gotten gentler. “What is it?”

She should tell him. She told Giles everything. Kendra reappearing from the dead was probably part of some regular, old evil. They dealt with evil all the time. Giles would figure out what to do, give it a name, help her work out an attack plan.

“Allowing you to kill me again,” Kendra said, responding once more to Buffy’s thoughts. “Allowing it to be just you and Faith, the chosen two.”

“I didn’t kill you,” Buffy whispered. She backed away from Kendra, from Giles.

“No, you just allowed my killer to get away,” Kendra hissed. “You made a deal with her boyfriend, allowing her to escape.” Kendra advanced upon Buffy. “Just your type, wasn’t he? Like Faith. Like Angel. Bad and dangerous.”

Buffy shook her head and shut her eyes.

“Buffy? Is Kendra speaking to you?” Giles was approaching. “What is she saying?”

“Tell him.” It was Kendra, whispering in her ear. She was now right at Buffy’s side. She’d disappeared, only to reappear in a different spot. “Go ahead and tell your ‘father’ the truth.” The dead Slayer gave Buffy a knowing sneer. “He’ll never look at you the same way, again.”

Buffy opened her eyes. Giles was staring at her. Kindness and worry lined his brow. Had her father ever looked at her like that?

“I can’t,” Buffy muttered, not certain whom she was talking to. She turned and fled from the library.

“Buffy!” Giles called, but Buffy was already gone.