Ayden's Birthday
Chapter 62 : Ayden's birthday
In Octavia and Lincoln’s apartment, everything was quiet. Well, for now; because the two adults had quickly learnt that once the twins were awake, silence and quiet immediately ceased to exist.
Octavia, fresh out of the shower, hummed in the air at the appealing smell of something being cooked.
“Are you making bacon?” She asked, coming into the tiny kitchen where Lincoln was waving a pan around, and circling his muscular torso with her arms.
“Yeah, pancakes too” he smiled at her, kissing her on the cheek without taking his eyes out of the fry pan.
“The kids are gonna love it” Octavia licked her lips, quickly shoving a still hot and steamy pancake into her mouth.
“I have a feeling like you’re loving it too, my love” Lincoln smirked.
Octavia stuck her tongue at him, putting plates onto the table and getting the milk out of the fridge.
“I am going to wake the twins up” Octavia said. "This way we won't have to hurry them through breakfast, and we'll make it to Lexa's in time."
Lincoln nodded, then spoke. “Octavia”.
“Hm?” She paused, turning around to see what he needed.
“I am really glad we did this.”
It made Octavia smile; although Lincoln could look scary, he had always been a soft and caring person, and it was warming Octavia’s heart to see how deeply he already cared for their kids. She had already seen this side of him, of course, because after all he had been there with her since the beginning, and had always did anything he could so Octavia was safe and secure, but it was something else to see him act like that with tiny people.
“Yeah, me too” Octavia softly said, then left to wake the twins up.
Their bedroom door was never to be closed; not because Lincoln and Octavia had ordered it, but because it was something they had learnt was calming the twins down, with them being able to hear sounds of people being around; whether it was to hear a threat coming or just to know they hadn’t been suddenly left alone or abandoned.
Looked at the two of them, peacefully sleeping, looking so tiny and fragile was only making Octavia even surer of their decision to take them in. It had been difficult first, with the kids not trusting them, but with time, they could now tell the hardest part was behind them. Maybe it also was because they were still very young, and young kids had a tendency to forget more quickly; they were resilient, and Octavia knew that first-hand.
They were very special kids, and they kept reminding Octavia of what Bellamy and herself were, when they were younger. She was swearing to herself, every day, that she would protect those kids from what Bellamy and she had gone through at the same age.
And now that their life was easier, more comfortable and safer, she was daring to hope for a peaceful life for them; as much as she knew Lexa and Clarke wanted to shield Ayden from everything.
With quiet steps, she entered the room, gently brushing Samuel’s face to wake him up.
“Wake up, little man” She whispered, smiling at him when he opened his eyes, “We’ve got to prepare ourselves for the big party!”
At her words, Samuel was now fully awake, jumping out of his bed, quickly hugging his adoptive mom. “Yeah! Ayden’s party!”
It made Octavia laugh at the boy’s enthusiasm, as Emma was slowly waking up too, tearing up as soon as her eyes were open. Octavia told Sam to go find Lincoln in the kitchen, and went to sit on Emma’s bed, taking the little girl into her arms and gently rock her as she was silently crying.
Mornings were hard for Emma; they didn’t really know why, and the social worker hadn’t been able to really explain why either. Samuel had shrugged, once asked the question, telling them she was often waking up like this. Emma refused to talk about it, too.
Octavia was thinking that maybe it was because she had been used to waking up and finding that she had just been left somewhere, abandoned by the ones who were fostering her. Lincoln was thinking that she had nightmares, ones that didn’t made her scream at night, but silent nightmares, for which she needed a bit of time at mornings to understand they weren’t real and that she truly was awake.
She watched as Emma slowly started to come back to herself, taking a look around. She then wrinkled her nose at the sent in the air, making Octavia laugh.
“It’s bacon” Octavia said, “Come on, or Samuel is going to eat all of it!”
The little girl nodded, traces of tears long gone, and tugged Octavia into the kitchen.
The adults exchanged one look as Emma went straight for Lincoln, hugging his leg and then climb on her chair to start her breakfast. Lincoln glanced at Octavia to ask if everything was ok, and Octavia answered, calming his worries a bit.
They all got around the table, quickly eating breakfast.
An over-excited Ayden jumped on Lexa and Clarke’s bed, waking the woman up.
“Mommies!”
Clarke groaned, while Lexa, already awake for a while, ruffled the boy’s hair. Even if Lexa had heard Ayden call them mommies a hundred times now, it still felt like a warm fire around her heart, filling her with the most purest joy she had ever felt in her life. She hadn't really talked with Clarke about all this yet, but things were beginning to get clear; they were in it for the long game. Lexa was already the other emergency contact to call if anything was to happen to Ayden at school; two weeks ago, she had enlisted Clarke and Ayden onto her health assurance, too. Ayden had never called her mom without adressing the words to Clarke in the same time, but still; to Lexa, Ayden was starting to really feel like her own son. And as magical as it was, it was also very frightening for the Brunette.
Ayden nudged his nose against Lexa's cheeks, putting her out of her thoughts as she chuckled at him, tugging him on herself and hugging him.
“Happy birthday big guy” Lexa hummed kissing his cheeks and beginning to tickle him.
“What do I hear? Is it someone’s birthday?” Clarke said, a smile on her face as Ayden was beaming at her from on top of Lexa's body.
“It’s my birthday, Mommy!” Ayden laughed, amused at his mother’s fake loss of memory.
“Is that so? No, it can’t be!” Clarke exclaimed, “My son is still a very little baby!”
She grabbed Ayden, tickling him as he was crying from laughing too much.
“You’re ready for the big party?” Lexa asked, getting up from bed and opening up the curtains.
“Yeah!” He said, not staying in place so much he was excited. “Sam and Emma are coming, right?”
“Yes they are” Clarke smiled at her son, “And all your uncles and aunts, too!”
Ayden grinned, his little heart full of warmness, knowing everyone he loved would be here today, only just for him in this very special occasion.
“Okay” Lexa said while putting a sweater on, then waving her fingers at Ayden so he would follow her, “Come on, let’s go make some birthday boy breakfast”.
Ayden, all too excited, was quick to follow Lexa to the kitchen, leaving Clarke alone in their room. Watching them run away, Clarke had a light smile on her face. Never, in a million years could she have predicted what she was living right now. A kind of dream. A perfect dream. But in the middle of this dreamy reality, there still was something a bit heavy tugging at Clarke's chest, a dark voice repeating again and again that all good thing would eventually come to an end; that nothing good could be eternal.
Clarke shook her head, not wanting to think about things like that on her son's birthday. They were going to be fine. Everything was fine.
Knowing breakfast would take at least a half-hour to be ready – thanks to Ayden, who had a tendency to make a mess of everything – she took that time to take a quick shower and get the day started.
In the kitchen, Lexa chuckled as Ayden managed to get half the flavour –again- on the floor instead of in the bowl she had put in front of him. Stirring the eggs together, she was listening to Ayden’s cute rambling while trying to anchor those memories deep into her mind; that had never been something she thought she would have. A beautiful woman she could wake up next to, and a kid messing around with food in the kitchen.
Well, there was a time where she thought she would have all that; but those dreams had died when Costia had; and now, they were slowly starting to rise again.
“Yexa?” Ayden then asked, having noticed the way she was looking at them.
“Yes, Ayden?” She smiled at him.
“Did you wanna be a mom?” He asked, looking at her with his big innocent eyes.
Lexa frowned, surprised by the question. “Why do you ask?”
“Tavie and Lincoln told me they chose to take Sam and Emma in because they wanted kids.” Ayden said, a very serious look on his face, “Is it why you took me and my mom in? Because you wanted a kid too? Am I your kid now too?”
Lexa’s heart jumped into her chest; she looked towards their bedroom, silently begging Clarke to come out any seconds and answer those kind of questions. Questions she didn’t have the answers to. Questions she wanted to have answers too, but questions that were totally out of her own control.
She stopped stirring food, thinking hard about what to say, and took place next to Ayden.
“I wanted kids before I met you, yes. I still want to have children of my own” Lexa said, trying to keep it very simple for him to be able to understand. “But that is not, in the first place, why I said that your Mommy and you could come live with me.”
“Why, then?” he asked; Lexa could see he was getting pouty and upset.
“Because you needed help, and I wanted to help the both of you” Lexa gently said, “Then, I…. I fell in love with your mother. And you” Lexa added, smiling, “And then I never wanted you to leave.”
“I don’t wanna leave” Ayden said in a sure voice, but frowned a second later as something was still bothering him. “So I am not your kid?”
Lexa shrugged, not really having an answer to that question; she was pretty sure it was a question for Clarke. “Well, would you want to be?”
“If I’m not, then what am I?” He asked, now clearly upset, his little lower lip starting to shake.
“Oh Ayden” Lexa sighed, taking him on her lap so she could hug him close to her body, “I love you with all my heart, that is all that matters. if Octavia wasn't your aunty, would you love her less?"
"No" Ayden shook his head, frowning at what he was thinking was a dumb question. "Tavie is cool."
"You see?" Lexa gently murmured, slightly rocking him, "We can be whatever we want to be. Friends. Family."
Ayden nodded, nudging Lexa's cheek with his nose for the second time of the day.
"In a way, you are my kid" Lexa then whispered very quietly, surprising herself with the confession as she was feeling very vulnerable right now; because Ayden was right in a way: who was he to Lexa, and what would happen to their relationship if Clarke and her were ever to split up?
"Because even if you don't have any of my blood, I love you like you are my kid" Lexa confessed to the little boy. "You understand?"
Ayden smiled at her, and Lexa's heart melted in the process. "I yove you like my mama too" The boy grinned, before planting a big kiss on Lexa's cheek, making Lexa laugh.
"Alright birthday boy, let's finish breakfast!" Lexa exclaimed, putting Ayden down and resuming her cooking, discreetly wiping her eyes that had somehow became wet.
From the bedroom, Clarke had heard all of Ayden and Lexa's discussion. And as the Blonde was watching Lexa and Ayden interact together, something was tugging at her insides; did she want Lexa to be another mother to Ayden? And if she ever was to be, would they have to battle for custody if Lexa and her were to split up? Frowning, Clarke closed their bedroom's door so she couldn't no longer hear Lexa and Ayden talking in the kitchen.
In Raven's loft, Anya was arguing - again - with Raven, as the girl didn't want Anya's help to get dressed.
"Raven I swear to God" Anya huffed for the hundredth time of the morning, "If you don't let me help, we'll be at Lexa's around 7pm".
"I am not disabled!" Raven retorted although she had been trying to put on pants for thirty minutes now without success, "I don't need you!"
"Come on Raven" Anya sighed, sitting on the chair next to Raven's bed, already tired, "You know I don't think you're disabled. I just want to help you."
"And I don't " Raven stubbornly answered, grunting as she was struggling to put on pants with her freshly operated new prosthetic leg.
Anya sighed again, then got up and left the room, leaving Raven alone. Raven frowned, stopping her movements.
"Where are you going?" Raven asked at loud.
"I am going to call Clarke because I can't deal with you anymore!" Anya answered from the other side of the apartment.
"Don't do that!" Raven protested, "She has other things to take care of!"
"Well you're not going to go to Ayden's birthday in only your panties, are you?" Anya retorted, "And you'll tell her yourself why I have to bother her on her son's birthday because you're acting like an ass who doesn't want to let people help her."
"Great" Raven muttered, then dropping her pants to the floor and giving up dressing by herself all together. It was not that Raven didn't want Anya to help, really; it was more than she felt like Anya didn't deserve to see her like this, struggling and incapable of doing things by herself.
Fifteen minutes later, Raven heard the front door open and Clarke's voice greeting Anya. She then heard someone leave; her attention perked up; had Clarke come just to say hello and left a minute later?
Her question was quickly answered as her bedroom's door was being unceremoniously opened, and a very not-impressed Blonde friend was standing in front of her.
"Why are you being an ass to your girlfriend?" Clarke asked Raven, closing the door behind her and sighing as she picked up the pants on the floor.
"You didn't need to come over" Raven mumbled, sitting herself on the bed and masssaging her new leg.
"Apparently I did " Clarke retorted but without bite on her tone, going into the bathroom and retrieving the medical cream the surgeon had prescribed to Raven for her scar, "Because someone is acting more like a five years old than my own five years old."
Raven thought about protesting as Clarke started to put cream on her scar, almost telling her she could do it alone, but under Clarke's menacing stare, said nothing and let the girl help.
"Raven, you can't have your leg amputated and expect to be fully able to do everything alone the week after" Clarke sighed after a while, putting the pants Raven had chosen back in the drawer and picking up a loose leggings instead. "I know that you hate having to need help, but right now it's so you can heal properly. If you push yourself too much, you are risking having to go through surgery again, you know that."
Raven looked down, a bit ashamed at her behavior; as Clarke was beginning putting the leggings on; but also a bit defeated by the state she was in.
"Raven, look at me" Clarke then gently said as the leggings was up to Raven's knees and Clarke was putting socks on her feet. The Brunette locked eyes with Clarke, trying to find a tiny bit of something that would tell her Clarke was fed up with her shit; instead, all that Raven could find in the Blonde's eyes was compassion. Love. Understanding. And all of it was one more tug at Raven's heart; seeing that Clarke wasn't wavering. That she was still there, despite everything; despite all odds.
"There are people who love you, Raven" Clarke told her, taking Raven's hands in hers once she was fully dressed. "Who care and worry about you. Let us help you."
Raven sniffed and angrily wiped a treacherous tear that had fallen down her cheek. "I am a burden to you."
"No, you are not" Clarke gently chuckled. "You're my best friend, Raven. I only want you to be ok. And Anya, who cares about you very much, wants you to be ok too. Why won't you let her help?"
"I..." Raven started, sniffing again, "She won't want me. If she always has to help me like I'm disabled. She won't want me after."
"You know very well that it's not true" Clarke raised an unconvinced brow at her friend. "She doesn't see you like that. In fact, she only sees you even stronger for it."
"Yeah, right" Raven retorted.
"Come on, get up" Clarke sighed at the stubborness of her friend, putting her hands under Raven's arms pits so she could help her up and finish putting Raven's new brace on her leg. Once Raven was up and dressed, Clarke drew her closer to her chest, hugging her.
At first, Raven stayed tense, but it only took a couple of seconds for the Brunette to turn limp in Clarke's arms, tighly holding on to the Blonde.
"You'll be ok, Raven" Clarke murmured in her ear, "And we're going to help you get there. But you have to let us. Remember? That's something you said to me, once."
Raven sniffed again, eyes wet and nodding into Clarke's neck.
"Only you, Clarke" Raven then whispered, "You seeing me like this is enough. Only you."
"Ok, Raven" Clarke agreed with the compromise, "But you'll have to explain it to Anya, alright?"
Raven nodded again, hugging Clarke a little tighter.
"Come on now" Clarke parted from Raven's embrace, "Everyone should be at our place. Let's go."
Octavia, Lincoln and their kids made their way through Lexa's loft, gifts in their arms as the twins were clinging a bit to their free hands; although they had seen Ayden a lot during the past couple of months they had been with the group, Emma and Samuel were still a little weary of big crowds and of all the adults they had yet to bond with.
Emma especially, who was always keeping close to Octavia when they were in unknown places or surrounded by other people than his brother or Lincoln. Emma followed Octavia all the way to the kitchen so her adoptive mother could put down the cake they had made for Ayden, and always kept close to Octavia's leg, ready to hide herself in the grown woman if a threat was ever to appear.
Samuel on the contrary had well reacted to meeting the whole group. Being friend with Ayden had certainly helped; the boy had taken upon himself to make Samuel feel at home, and so far, it had completely worked. Although Samuel was often checking if Lincoln or Octavia were nearby, always coming closer to them if he felt overwhelmed, he was now able to play without having to worry about his sister and trusting Lincoln and Octavia to take care of her, and for him, it was a brand new life full with promises.
"Hi Emma" Clarke gently said as she spotted the little girl attached to Octavia's leg, "How are you today?"
Emma only shyly shrugged, but Clarke and Octavia shared a smile; it was one of the first time Emma was aknowledging an adult interaction, even if she had not really answered.
"You went to Raven's this morning, Lexa told me?" Octavia asked her friend.
"Yeah" Clarke sighed while dressing the cake with the birthday candles, "Anya called me, told me Raven was being... A stubborn ass?" Clarke chuckled, "Those were her exact words."
Octavia chuckled too.
"Raven's struggling, O" Clarke sighed again, this time more serious, "And I don't know if I'll be enough to deal with it, but she doesn't want anybody else to know about it."
"You are enough, Clarke" Octavia gently said, sitting on a kitchen stool and putting Emma on her lap, the girl leaning on Octavia's chest, content to just be around her. "Remember when we didn't know where you were?"
Clarke nodded, still a bit ashamed at having left them without warning.
"Only you were missing and we were all completely lost" Octavia told her. "You are more than enough, believe me. Raven's just very proud. She'll come around."
"Yeah, I know she will" Clarke admitted, "But still, I don't like this."
"That's because you always worry about us" Octavia joked, "Which you should not, by the way."
"I'll always worry about all of you, O" A tiny smile rose on Clarke's lips, "That's what I do."
"I know" Octavia smiled back. Then, Emma surprinsingly mumbled something, but too low for the women to hear.
"What was that, honey?" Octavia asked the little girl.
"Maybe Raven needs a hug" Emma repeated in a very quiet voice, herself too surprised by her spontanious talking.
"You know what, maybe you're right, Emma!" Clarke winked at the little girl, making her blush in return and hide her nose in Octavia's neck. "Maybe she does need a hug."
Emma firmly nodded, looking proud of her suggestion; and then, all of the sudden, she lightly squeezed herself from Octavia's embrace, quietly walking into the living-room towards the couch.
Clarke and Octavia looked at each other, frowning; Emma had never been so far from Octavia or Lincoln in a place that wasn't their home. The women got up, curious about where Emma was heading; and then, Octavia gasped.
Emma planted herself in front of Raven, unsure but yet determined, and then, slowly, the girl climbed on the couch, settling herself on Raven's lap, careful on not sitting on Raven's new brace. In the room, everyone had stopped moving, all not very sure of what was happening. And then, Emma slowly grinned at Raven, leaning on her chest, and putting her tiny arms around the woman's neck, loosely hugging her.
Octavia quietly chocked a sob, her hand finding's Clarke and holding tightly to it, mesmerized by the shy girl who had never left Lincoln or Octavia's side, too afraid to face adults, who know had gone to hug Raven without anyone forcing her to.
Clarke wetly chuckled, too, happy her best friend's little girl was opening up; and, looking at Samuel and Ayden, now happily joining Emma and Raven on the couch to do a group-hug, Clarke thought that maybe it was them, those small and beautiful kids, that would heal their grown-ups' wounds.
Everyone's belly was full of cake, and there was gift wrap paper all around the apartment; but no one cared, as Ayden had received a lot of beautiful presents for his birthday, which he was now sharing with Emma and Samuel, all three of them playing together and making up stories about princesses and dragons and firefighters altogether. Even little shy Emma was playing with Ayden and his brother without having to need Lincoln or Octavia sitting by her side.
After having helped Lexa clean up the mess in the kitchen a bit, Octavia and Clarke went to join Raven on the couch, who still had to stay put so her leg could recover well.
"I have something to ask of you two" Octavia then started.
Intrigued, Clarke and Raven shot interrogative looks at their friend, wondering what it could be that Octavia needed.
"Would you accept to be Godmothers?" Octavia lightly chuckled at her friends' faces.
"What?" Clarke exclaimed as Raven was nodding very quickly to tell her agreement.
"Rae, I thought you could be Godmother of Emma" Octavia suggested, happy tears in her eyes threatening to fall, "I mean, she already likes you, obviously" Octavia said, refering to the hug Emma had given her earlier in the day, "And Clarke you could be Sam's ?"
"I'm very ok with that" Clarke gently smiled at her friend, squeezing her shoulder, "It's an honor."
"It feels like this story is coming to an end, isn't it?" Raven told her friends, watching as their family, who had gone through so much since they knew each other, was now at peace.
"On the contrary" Clarke smiled. "It's only just beginning."