Kids' Tears
Chapter 60 : Kids’ tears
A month had gone by since the twins’ arrival, and so far, it all had been smooth. Well, they were still distrustful with Lincoln and Octavia, but they hadn’t caused any trouble.
Well, until today.
It was a few minutes past 7pm, and the kids had just finishing eaten. They were broody, and Lincoln, alone at home with the twins while Octavia was at work, didn’t know why. The twins had barely touched their plates, and that was unusual.
“Guys, what is going on?” Lincoln finally asked, a bit worried. “Are you both not hungry?”
Samuel mumbled something, too low for Lincoln to understand.
“What was that? I didn’t hear you” Lincoln asked.
“Where is Tavi?” Emma quietly asked, daring looking at Lincoln, “She said she would come back when the clock would look like this” She showed her fingers to Lincoln, “But she is not.”
Lincoln’s heart sank when he understood why the twins had been upset for the past fifteen minutes. Octavia had been using this technique to make the kids understand that she would come home to them, that she was not leaving them. And tonight, Octavia was late. Lincoln hadn’t even thought about it because it was not unusual for Octavia to come home at odd hours; in fact, she hadn’t been that regular in her life than during the past month.
“She will be there soon” Lincoln tried to reassure them, “Sometimes she is held up at work. But she will come home, I promise you”.
The twins didn’t really look that they believed him, so Lincoln just sighed, knowing there was nothing he could do until Octavia wasn’t home.
Then, his phone rang, lightening up with Octavia’s name.
“Guys, it’s O!” Lincoln said, answering the phone.
“Hey, I’m so sorry I’ve been held up, I had promised the twins I will be there by 7!” Octavia’s voice spoke into the phone.
“I know” Lincoln chuckled, “I think they are... Upset?” He could hear Octavia’s bike roaring; she was probably already on her way home, driving through the tunnels.
“Upset? Really?”
“Yeah” Lincoln nodded with a smile, “I guess they are beginning to warm up to us, O” He whispered.
“I guess that’s great!” Octavia cheered, “Put me on speaker!”
Lincoln gestured for the twins to come closer, while putting the phone on speaker.
“Hi guys!” Octavia’s sweet voice echoed into the kitchen, “I am sorry, I wasn’t careful with the time, and I am late! But I will be there very very soon!”
“You promise?” Emma asked, a bit loud, almost putting the phone in her mouth, making Lincoln chuckle.
“Yeah Emma, I promise” Octavia said, “Can you hear the bike noises outside? It’s me!”
“Go look to the window” Lincoln gently nudged her with a smile, and Emma all but ran to the window, looking into the building’s little court.
“I see you!” Emma exclaimed, frankly waving at Octavia, who was waving back.
They heard Octavia chuckle into the phone, and Lincoln ended the call, knowing Octavia was coming upstairs right now.
And not even a minute later, Octavia was entering the flat, a bit breathless as she had run into the stairs.
“Tavi!” Emma exclaimed running to Octavia, and throwing herself at her legs.
Octavia froze; Emma had never initiated physical contact before. She looked up to Lincoln, who was warmly smiling at her.
Emma seemed a bit surprised by her own behaviour, and when Octavia kneeled to be on eyes levels, the little girl had a shy smile on her face.
“Hi pretty girl” Octavia chuckled, caressing her face with her smooth hand, “You missed me?”
Emma shyly nodded, and Octavia opened her arms. The kid immediately put both arms around Octavia’s neck, burying her tiny nose into it.
“And I missed you too” Octavia whispered, gently running her hand up and down the little girl’s back. She got up with the little girl still hanging up at her neck, and went to run a hand through Samuel’s hair as a greeting, but the kid dodged the woman’s hand, directly going into his bedroom without a word.
Octavia shot a worried and confused look to Lincoln, who shrugged, because really he was still trying to figure out these kids. He made a move to go after the boy, but Octavia handed Emma over to him, kissing her head.
“I’ve got this” She whispered to her boyfriend. Lincoln nodded, and took Emma to the couch, where he opened a book to read it to her.
In Lexa’s loft, Ayden was throwing a tantrum, and Clarke was exhausted. She had worked at the hospital all the night before, until this afternoon, because the nurse who was supposed to take after her hadn’t showed up; so Clarke had worked a double shift, and now Ayden was yelling and crying and rolling himself on the floor like his life was ending, and Clarke just wanted to collapse into the couch and not wake up for a thousand years. And Lexa wasn’t there, and Clarke had been kind of disappointed when she came home from fetching Ayden from school to not find Lexa waiting for them at home, and even more disappointed when Lexa didn’t come home around 6 like she usually did when Clarke was working night shifts.
“Ayden, will you please stop yelling?” Clarke sighed, exasperated with her son’s behaviour. She couldn’t understand why he was causing such fuss right now; he had had a good day at school, or so the teacher said, and he was never one to get angry and yell like that.
Well, Clarke could remember some days where Ayden would throw a tantrum; dark days, Finn had called them. But it hadn’t happened in such a long time that Clarke had forgotten they ever existed in the first place.
“Time to go to bed! Pyjamas, now!” Clarke ordered, but of course the boy didn’t obey. He didn’t even seemed to have heard Clarke’s order.
“Come on Ayden, why are you so difficult?” Clarke sighed again, picking up the pillows from the couch the boy had thrown all over the room.
“I don’t want to go to bed!” Ayden yelled, his face red and angry and wet from big fat tears that were falling down his face.
“Ayden you are tired” Clarke tried to explain, “You need to go to sleep”.
“I’m not sleepy! I don’t want to!” He yelled again, crying even more than Clarke thought it was possible.
Clarke sat down on a kitchen’s chair, running a hand through her hair, and Ayden running all over the loft crying and screaming his head off.
But then Clarke heard the door open, and shoes being put down, and suddenly Lexa was home. Clarke, relieved, shot a “help me” look to Lexa, who frowned.
“You will stop this screaming right now, young man” Lexa said, with a voice so firm Ayden immediately stopped crying, a bit shocked. “This is not such way to behave. Why are you not into your pyjamas and ready for bed, at this hour?”
Ayden, still in shock, was looking at Lexa with eyes wide open, and frankly Clarke was keeping herself from jumping on Lexa and kissing her so hard she would bruise Lexa’s soft lips.
“Go get ready for bed, now.” Lexa ordered, and Ayden hurried to leave the room.
Once he was gone, Lexa’s shoulders relaxed, and she was shaking her head as if she was thinking to herself, then turning towards Clarke.
“What was that about?” She asked Clarke, surprised about the state she had found Ayden in.
Clarke didn’t waste any time; she quickly got up and threw herself at Lexa’s neck, kissing her.
“I love you” Clarke said, finally feeling like she could breathe again.
She watched as Lexa’s cheeks started to turn a bit pink. “And I love you too” Lexa grinned, “But seriously, what happened?”
“I don’t know” Clarke sighed, removing herself from Lexa’s arms, “He was fine after school, but then it was time for bed and he just... Bust into screams.”
“Weird” Lexa frowned, and Clarke hummed. They stayed close to each other, asking and telling each other about their day. Lexa frowned when she saw how tired Clarke was, and even if the blonde was telling her she was fine, Lexa, as always, was seeing right through her.
“I am ready for bed” A tiny voice interrupted her, and they spotted Ayden, all changed into his sleeping clothes, all shy and stepping from one foot to the other.
Lexa quickly threw a look over to Clarke, and, with a nod, Clarke told her to put Ayden to bed.
“Come on” Lexa said, holding her hand for Ayden to take, and going towards his room.
Octavia gently knocked on the twins’ bedroom door.
“Can I come in?” She asked, and came in when Samuel shrugged.
“Is everything ok?” Octavia asked, sitting down on the carpet, not far from Samuel. The boy didn’t answer at first, pretending to be interested in the toys he had in front of him, but Octavia waited, knowing the boy would end up saying something.
And then, he spoke. “You promised Emma you would be here at 7.” And it tugged at Octavia’s heart, because his voice was so quiet and so low and vulnerable, and it was not his strong fierce voice he had always used while talking to them.
“I know, and I was late” Octavia nodded, not denying the fact. “I had extra work to do, and I wasn’t careful with the time. When I finally looked at the clock, it was too late. I try to hurry coming home, but I was late anyways. I am sorry, Samuel.” Octavia apologized.
“Emma was upset.” He said.
“I know” Octavia hummed, “And I apologized to her for making her upset.” She waited for him to speak again, knowing there was more to this than just him being upset because his sister was upset.
“You can’t make promises you won’t keep” He whispered, and Octavia saw how he was fighting tears and tightening his jaw to stay strong.
“It is ok if you were disappointed I was late, too” Octavia then gently said, having understood he too was upset, and not just his sister. “I made the two of you a promise, and I broke it because I was not careful enough. You have the right to be upset.”
“I am not” He denied, but his voice was very close to break and Octavia wanted to take him in her arms so much it was hurting her.
“Sam, look at me” Octavia murmured. And surprisingly, he did.
“I know how hard it is to be this young and on your own” Octavia said. “I lost my parents very young too, and if it hadn’t been for my brother to look after me and protect me, God knows what would have happened.”
She saw Samuel’s curiosity perk up, and she knew he was listening to her words.
“I know how hard it is to stay strong all the time. But Sam” Octavia whispered, “You are not alone anymore. You are allowed to start trusting us. It doesn’t make you weak to be upset if I am not home when I am supposed to be.”
A tear slipped on Samuel’s face, but Octavia, not wanting him to close off, acted like she hadn’t seen it yet.
“Lincoln and I are beginning to trust you, and care about you. It is ok if you do the same. Okay?” Octavia whispered again, and this time, Samuel turned to look at her.
She knew he was looking in her eyes for some signs, maybe something that would prove to him that the words she was saying weren’t true, but as he seemed to find nothing but love and truth and care in the woman’s eyes, his bottom lip wobbled, and soon he was fully crying, letting go of all the pain and fear he had been storing up for the past years.
“Oh Sam” Octavia murmured, opening her arms and pulling the boy into her.
Samuel, now fully crying, didn’t protest and even wrapped both arms around the woman’s neck, letting fat tears run down on the woman’s skin.
“I am so sorry for everything that you had to go through” Octavia whispered into his ear as he was sobbing in her arms, “And I will never be able to erase it from your life. But Sam, I promise you” Octavia said, “I promise you, that I will do anything in my power to keep you safe, you and your sister.”
She felt Samuel nod in her neck, and his tiny arms hold her even tighter. And Octavia, heart broken by all the pain this kid, so young but already so weighed, was carrying. As she had been, years ago. As Ayden had been, not so long ago. And her soul was screaming for all of those children who were not born in good places, or from good people, and whose lives were destroyed by things they had no control on. And right now, Octavia sore to herself that she had to do something about it. Not only for Samuel and Emma. For every kid.
As Samuel was still holding on to her, she picked him up, and went to join Lincoln and Emma on the couch. She sat down next to them, and smiled to Emma, who smiled back. Lincoln ran a warm hand on Samuel’s back.
“You’re ok kiddo?” He asked with a gentle voice.
Samuel nodded, snuggling into Octavia as Lincoln began reading the story again, while Emma was helping him changing the voices, earning chuckles from the adults, whose hearts were melting because Emma was more and more talkative each day.
Lincoln and Octavia shared a warm smile when Samuel soon joined his sister in doing various voices, not letting go of Octavia and lying on top of her, his hands buried into her clothes.
Half an hour later, the four of them were asleep on the couch, all tangled up in each others.