You Are So Much More Than Your Father's Son
Chapter 50 : You Are So Much More Than Your Father’s Son
Song : Heirloom by Sleeping at Last
Lexa was patiently – and excitedly – waiting for Ayden to come out of the school. Today, she was having lunch time with the boy, and she was beyond thrilled.
“Yexa!” She heard before seeing the little boy running towards her and crashing into her legs.
“Hey buddy! How was your morning?” She chuckled, ruffling the boy’s hair.
“I missed you!” he shouted back, a big smile written on his face, now that Lexa is here.
“I missed you too, little man” Lexa gently murmured back, getting emotional. She knelt at his level, and picked him up in her arms.
“Ready for lunch?”
“Yeaaaaah!” He shrieked, throwing his arms happily in the air. Lexa smiled, and lead them towards them back to Lexa’s building; Lexa didn’t know well about what Ayden liked to eat, but he knew he loved Niylah’s food truck.
Five minutes later, Ayden was shouting at Niylah when he saw her.
“Niyah!” He shouted, making Lexa chuckle in the process – he couldn’t pronounce Niylah’s name correctly – and lowered him to the ground, so he could great the woman.
But surprisingly, Ayden didn’t run to Niylah, and instead took Lexa’s hand, waiting for her to move towards Niylah. Lexa was very surprised; but glad, that the boy was staying close to her and not running off.
They walked toward Niylah, and Lexa could read the surprise written all over the girl’s face. Then, it stroke Lexa; Niylah probably wondered why Ayden was with her, and not with Clarke.
“Hi, Niylah” Lexa smiled to her old friend, “How are you doing?”
“Fine, fine!” Niylah said, not having recovered from her surprise, “But how about you? Long time no see!”
“Yeah, well” Lexa chuckled, “It’s a couple of complicated months, right Ayden?”
“Yeah” He shrugged, probably not understanding Lexa’s words, “But we are ok now?”
“Yes, very much” Lexa smiled at him. “Look for what you want to eat!” She told the boy, and then turned towards Niylah who was fixing her with a weird expression.
“That’s Clarke’s boy” Niylah stated the obvious.
“Yes indeed” Lexa raised a brow at her friend.
“But... I mean, how?” Niylah asked, confused. “Last time, you didn’t even know each other that well!”
“Hm, things happened” Lexa shrugged, a light smile on her lips.
“And..?” Niylah asked, pushing Lexa to say more. She needed Lexa to explain; inside, she knew she was going to be disappointed with the answer.
“I want a chicken sandwich!” Ayden said, cutting the conversation.
“Alright” Niylah chuckled. “Lexa?”
“What? Hu, the same” Lexa answered.
Niylah nodded, and threw a look at Lexa for her to keep her story going.
“Right, so hum, Clarke I are... Kind of together?” Lexa confessed, not able to keep her face from lightening anymore.
“Kind of together?” Niylah raised her brows, “You’re dating her or not?”
“Yeah!” Lexa answered almost too quickly, “Yeah, we’re dating!”
“So you’re not kind of together, Lexa” The other woman chuckled, “That’s a sure fact”.
“Yes, yes, I know” Lexa said, “But that’s just that, hum, she’s really, like... Pretty? And kind, and funny, and full of life?”
Niylah laughed. “Are those questions, or actual facts about Clarke?”
“Yeah, right, sorry” Lexa blushed, seeing she had been rambling.
“It’s ok” Niylah waved her off, putting the sandwiches in front of them, “Clarke is indeed very pretty and funny”.
Lexa frowned a bit at Niylah’s words; she was not jealous, but she was feeling like maybe, Niylah had wanted more with Clarke than only friendship.
But then, Ayden pulled on her sleeve, remembering her that she was the one chosen by Clarke to share her life, and her son’s care.
She waved goodbye to Niylah, and went to sit at a table with the boy, already chewing his sandwich.
“I take it that it’s good?” Lexa chuckled at Ayden’s enthusiasm.
“Yeah, very good!” He smiled, almost spilling the food he had in his mouth.
Lexa laughed, biting on her own sandwich. They ate silently, enjoying the calm around them, and people walking around.
Then, noises and loud talking were heard, and they both turned their heads towards it, intrigued.
It was a man and a little boy – probably his son, Lexa deduced -, and the father was busy pulling on his son’s arm to make him move, while the boy wanted to pick up something on the floor he had let fallen.
Lexa’s heart constricted in her chest; no man should be holding a boy’s arm that tight, nor screaming at him to make him move. That was not the right way to make a child cooperate.
But what Lexa noticed next broke her heart. Ayden was not eating anymore, and was shamefully looking at the table.
Lexa put her sandwich down, and put a hand on his. “Hey, Ayden, what’s wrong?”
Ayden sniffed, and Lexa knew he was pretty upset already. “Finn is like that” He murmured, sadness mixing with his kid’s voice.
“Yes, he is” Lexa nodded, feeling sad for the boy. “But not everyone is a good man; sometimes life is not easy with people, and they become not good persons”.
“What if I don’t become a good person?” He asked next, his voice near breaking.
“Oh, Ayden” Lexa said, getting up to catch the boy in her arms and bury him in her embrace, trying to pass as much love to him as she could. “Just because you had a bad father doesn’t mean you’ll be like him” Lexa murmured to Ayden, trying to soothe him.
Ayden only caught Lexa’s jacket in her fists, holding tight to the fabric, sniffing in Lexa’s neck. Lexa’s heart was bleeding for the boy’s distress, and she had no idea of how to soothe his sorrow.
You try your hardest to leave the past alone
This crooked posture is all you’ve ever known
It is the consequence of living in between
The weight of family and the pull of gravity
You are so much more than your father’s son,
You are so much more than what he’s become..
“Ayden, listen to me” Lexa said, rocking him slowly back and forth, “You are so much more than your father’s son. I already know you will be a kind man, a loving one. You are still very young, ok? You’ll be a great man, with time”.
Ayden nodded, still sniffing. He really wanted to believe in what Lexa was saying; he knew she wasn’t lying to him, and he was a bit comforted by the idea of growing up alongside this woman he adored. Ayden was maybe six, but he had gone through enough to feel like being twelve.
Long before you were born, there was light
Hidden deep in these young, unfamiliar eyes.
A million choices, though little on their own,
Become the heirloom of the heaviness you’ve known
You are so much more than your father’s son,
You are so much more than what he’s become...
“And Ayden” Lexa gently said again, “You are not alone. You may have had a bad dad, but your mom, kid, your mom... She’s the best Mommy on Earth, you know that?” Lexa asked, stars in her eyes.
She wasn’t lying to Ayden; she really believed that Clarke was a great mother.
“I know you’re scared, but you’re a strong boy” Lexa murmured, “And it will be okay again”.
“Yexa?” Ayden then asked, his voice still laced with sadness.
“Yes, little man?”
“I’m happy you’re my friend” He smiled to her, hugging her neck. “Mommy is happy with you, too”.
Lexa weakly smiled back, tears gathering in eyes at the boy’s declaration.
“I’m very happy with you, too” she hugged him, and kissed his cheek making a funny noise which made him bust into laughers.
You pressed rewind
For the thousandth time
When the tapes wore through
So you memorized
Those unscripted lines
Desperate for some kind of clue:
When the scale tipped
When you inherited
A fight that you were born to lose
It’s not your fault
No, it’s not your fault
I put this heavy heart in you
I put this heavy heart in you...
Not far from them, Niylah was looking at them with envy. Jealous she was; jealous of this Brunette who seemed to hold Clarke’s heart, jealous of the complicity Ayden and she had. It’ was not like Niylah never tried to get closer to Clarke; the Blonde had never seen too interested, and because Niylah had been aware of Clarke’s situation, she had never pushed her.
She cleaned her cooking table, sighing about the Blonde she would never have.
You remind me of who I could have been
Had I been stronger and braver way back then
A million choices, though little on their own
Became the heirloom of the heaviness we’ve known
You are so much more than your father’s son
You are so much more than the wars you’ve won
You are so much more than your father’s son
You are so much more than what I’ve become