How To Be A Family
Chapter 48 : How To Be A Family
Song : Holy Ground By BANNERS
Lexa, Clarke and Ayden had had breakfast together, the whole meal punctuated by stupid jokes and laughs. Even with the heavy discussion Clarke and Lexa had had an hour ago, Lexa was happy; free, even. She was feeling like it was a new beginning, both for her and Clarke. That they could move on, together, and start something together; not forget about the past, of course, but rather write the present and the future they wanted to have.
But clock was ticking, and as much as Lexa wanted to stay with Clarke and the cute little boy, she knew she had to hurry not to be late at work –again.
Clarke was watching Lexa with attention; making sure she was ok, after the talk they had. She knew Lexa was strong, maybe the strongest person she had ever met; but still, she couldn’t imagine the pain Lexa could feel, thinking about Costia. Clarke wanted Lexa to heal; and she wanted to heal from her own wounds too, by Lexa’s side. Now, it was not only Lexa helping Clarke; it was both girls leaning on each other to deal with tough stuffs. And Clarke was glad, so glad to have Lexa; to have crossed paths with her when she needed someone to help her, and she was so grateful for Lexa not to have given up when Clarke refused her help the few first times.
So Clarke was there, standing in the living-room, watching Lexa with tender eyes. Of course, Lexa noticed; she too couldn’t not look at Clarke for more than a few seconds. It was kind of their thing to make sure the other one was there, and that none of this was a mad dream.
“What?” Lexa chuckled when she saw Clarke looking at her with such a look.
“I love you” Clarke simply said, flashing a dimple to Lexa, making the Brunette blush.
Clarke laughed – she could not not laugh at Lexa’s shy side – as Lexa was sticking her tongue out, not without saying “I love you too” back.
Lexa ran into their room to change for work; she didn’t want to waste a single second doing something else than playing and laughing with Ayden and Clarke.
Ayden was explaining some fire-fighters stuff Raven had told him to his mother when he noticed Lexa all dressed up, making him stop talking as a big frown was growing on his face.
“Where you going, Yexa?” He asked, visibly already upset with the answer he knew he would have.
“I have to go to work, bud” Lexa said, kneeling by him so he wouldn’t have to raise his head and hurt his neck to look at her. Ayden being five, he always needed a lot of explanations, and the girls were trying their best to explain everything he wanted to know.
“No you don’t” He protested with a tiny voice, “You can stay with me? Look, you can take this car” he said, handing a blue truck to Lexa, “I’ll take the fire-fighter truck and Mommy can take the yellow cab and then we can all play together” He concluded, trying to be sure of himself, but failing. “Right, Yexa?”
Lexa looked at him with a sad smile, and then turned herself towards Clarke, silently asking about what she should say or do. But the Blonde only waved at Lexa, encouraging her to say whatever she wanted to say to Ayden to comfort him.
So Lexa sat by his side, careful not to crumple her shirt. “Ayden, you know how we need money every time we want to buy stuff to eat? Or toys? Or clothes?”
Ayden nodded, his lips already beginning to shake with sadness, Lexa’s heart breaking in the process.
“But money doesn’t come in our wallets with magic, we have to go to work to earn it. You understand?” Lexa asked again, trying to explain to him why it was important. “I am going to work every day so I can have money to buy food for you and your mommy, or go to the water park, or go see the animals at the zoo” Lexa explained. “I am not leaving the house because I don’t want to be with you. I am leaving because I need to. You understand?”
“So you want to play with me?” Ayden asked, a single tear rolling on his cheek.
“Yes, bud, I wish I could stay here all day to play with you” Lexa smiled to him, wiping his cheek. “But I have to go to work, and you, young boy” Lexa tickled him, “you have to go to school, so you can have a job later, like me!”
“Stop Yexa, stop!” Ayden laughed, rolling on the floor as Lexa was tickling his sides.
Once he stopped laughing, Lexa put her serious face again. “I love you, Ayden. You know that, right?”
Ayden nodded, sure this time. “I know” He said back with a big smile, before throwing himself at Lexa’s neck to hug her, before his eyes widened when he remembered something Lexa had said.
“Yexa! I have to go to school or we won’t have money! Mommy, quick! Clothes! I have to go to school!” He shrieked, suddenly in panic.
Clarke and Lexa busted in laughers as Clarke was being dragged into the kid’s bedroom looking for clothes.
“Yexa! You wait to leave! I come with you!” Ayden shouted as Clarke was trying to put clothes on him.
Lexa chuckled, watching him hurry himself to be hurry, even if it was early and he still had a lot of time before school time. This was why they had agreed with Clarke being the one to drop Ayden at school in the morning, because it was only starting at 9; Lexa needed to be in her office way earlier than this.
But it was 8, and one crossed look with Clarke was enough to agree that Lexa could drop Ayden at school today.
“I’m ready!” Ayden shouted, coming back into the living-room, almost falling as he was running to Lexa.
“Slow down speedy boy” Clarke chuckled, “You forgot your bag”.
Ayden blushed, going back to Clarke to take his backpack.
“Lexa, I didn’t have time to make him lunch so maybe you could stop by...” Clarke said, but was interrupted by Lexa.
“You know what Ayden? What about we have a worker lunch together, today?” She asked the boy.
Of course, Ayden’s eyes widened with excitement. “Yes!”
Lexa smiled fondly at the boy; and Clarke fell in love with her even more. The Brunette got close to Clarke to peck her lips before going. “You can spend the day with Raven, as I will take care of Ayden today” Lexa said, smiling to her girlfriend. “Go pick him up at four though”.
“Yes, m’am!” Clarke laughed, kissing Lexa.
“Stop it, mommies!” Ayden pouted, clinging to the Brunette’s hand to make her move, “Come on, we are going to be late!”
Lexa froze a few seconds, having heard Ayden say “mommies” for only the second or third time. She caught Clarke’s look, and saw that she was totally ok with it. Lexa threw the Blonde a last smile, whispered an “I love you”, and closed the door with Ayden’s warm palm in her hand, heading for the school.
Clarke stayed still for a few seconds, a fond smile on her lips, and took her phone out of her pocket to text Raven.
Anya was slowly awakening, as the few last mornings, by Raven’s side. They hadn’t done anything yet; they weren’t even official to their friends, and they had exchanged only a few kisses, there and here. Truth was, Anya didn’t really know where they were, what they were; and it was starting to stress her out.
She put herself on her elbow, looking at Raven’s cute sleeping face. The Brunette was so calm when she was sleeping, Anya couldn’t almost believe it was the same Raven as the not sleeping one. Anya knew Raven had had a tough life, she knew that all of their friends had been in delicate situations; and she couldn’t wait to learn more. She wanted to know everything she could know; not because she was a spy and it was in her blood, but because she wanted to know what Raven had gone through, what could trigger the girl, make her happy, or make her sad.
And if Anya was really, really honest with herself, she would confess she wanted what Lexa and Clarke had. This complicity, this light they were bringing in each other’s lives. Anya had never been one for relationships, but now, she was finding herself wanting to love, and to be loved. And perhaps, perhaps Raven was the one making her feel this way.
But her dreaming thoughts were interrupted when Raven’s phone buzzed on the night stand, making the girl turn in the bed, grunting.
Raven took her phone as Anya was intrigued by the app Raven was on.
“Hey, Raven” Anya murmured, not wanting to break the quiet off the room.
“Yeah?” Raven hummed, reading the text Clarke had just sent her.
“What it is?” Anya gestured to the phone.
“It’s... A phone?” Raven raised her eyebrow, not sure to understand Anya’s question.
“Of course it’s a phone” Anya huffed playfully, “I meant this. This app. It looks like a spy thing”
“Oh” Raven said. She thought for a few seconds, considering whether or not she should tell Anya about the secret app. Then, she decided she could; Clarke had probably already told Lexa anyways.
Anya had guessed it was kind of a secret as she was watching Raven think hard inside her brain. So she waited for Raven to take a decision; she was really curious, but she wouldn’t push Raven to explain if she didn’t want it.
“It is indeed a secret app” Raven finally said, turning so Anya could see the phone better. “I invented it. With Monty. We needed it because...” Raven trailed off. She wasn’t ready to tell Anya about the reason why they needed this app. The night where Finn had gone mad.
“So we could communicate with each other better” Raven said instead. “It works like this. Every one’s phone in sending a location to the app, so we can always know where each of us is”.
“But it’s violating private life” Anya frowned.
“Yes, and no” Raven said. “We cannot see the location like this; it is only for emergencies. See; to access Clarke’s location, for example, we need to enter four different codes; each of us has one, it is a secret and no one knows about it, except the one with the code.”
“So you have a secret code of four numbers, that no one knows?” Anya asked, to be sure she understood well what Raven was explaining.
“Yeah” Raven nodded. “In case of emergencies, four of us have to agree to use it to find the missing person. But there’s a catch; when the phone is turned off, the location is inactive. So after... Some situation” Raven explained instead, “We promised each other to never turn off our phones”.
Anya hummed to show Raven she was following her explanations.
“But we can also send our location to the group, when we’re feeling unsafe and that you need rescue or something” Raven added. “There’s also a code system, to say how dangerous the situation is. It goes from one to five, one being a small concern and five being a death situation... Or an already dead person” Raven murmured the end of the sentence, remembering when they had used the code for the death of one of their friends.
“It’s a huge communication thing” Anya raised her brows, clearly interested by the device.
“It is” Raven agreed. “We also have a group chat, so we can have one conversation together, and it does a few others things too”.
Raven got up. “But I’ll talk about it later. I have to meet up with Clarke”.
Anya got up too. “What about?”
“About what I discovered about...” Raven stopped herself before telling Anya she had done researches with Monty behind her back, “About this new restaurant place” Raven quickly added, hurrying herself to get dressed.
Anya raised her brows again, finding Raven’s behaviour weird, but said nothing. She got dressed up too, and left the place to go to work, saying Raven they would meet later in the day.
On their way to the school, Ayden was proudly walking by Lexa’s side, trying to look as bossy as she did, his tiny hand in hers. Lexa was kind of proudly walking too; he was not her kid, but it sure felt like it, and she was thrilled to bring him school on her own. Of course she was happy because it meant Clarke trusted her with him, but mostly because the boy had wanted Lexa to be the one dropping him at school today.
“Yexa?” Ayden asked, jogtrotting next to Lexa, trying to follow her big steps.
“Ayden?” Lexa said back, looking down to the boy and slowing her pace, noticing he had trouble following her.
“You and mommy love each other” He stated.
Lexa hummed, waiting for him to develop whatever was on his mind.
“And Zoe’s parents love each other, too” Ayden said again.
“Who’s Zoe?” Lexa asked, not having heard of any Zoe in their circle of friends.
“Zoe’s my friend!” Ayden exclaimed, a bright smile suddenly lighting his face, “She’s super cool!”
Lexa chuckled.
“So, Zoe’s parents love each other” Ayden said again in all seriousness. “And Zoe said they make a real family because they are married together”.
Lexa tensed and slowed down; she had an idea of where the conversation was heading, and they were almost at the school; she didn’t want Ayden to go to class without having an answer to his question.
“So, I have a question” Ayden raised his chin to look at Lexa. Lexa nodded at him, so he could ask.
“When will you marry Mommy, so we can be a real family?” He dropped the question.
Even if Lexa had kind of seen this coming, her heart still jumped in her chest. She kneeled in front of Ayden, sensing the boy’s sadness at thinking that because Clarke and Lexa weren’t married, they weren’t a real family.
“Ayden, listen to me” Lexa gently said. “Two people who loves each other doesn’t need marriage to make a family” Lexa said, trying her best not to confuse the boy more; “Sometimes, it’s because of the blood bonds, like your Mommy and yourself, or Bellamy and Octavia who are siblings. But Finn, although he’s related to you and you share his blood, is not part of the family because you don’t love him. Being part of a family is about what you feel here” Lexa said, putting her hand on Ayden’s chest, “Sometimes, you love and care so much about someone that the person becomes part of your family. That’s why Monty, Raven, Bellamy and all the others are part of your family, even if they don’t share blood with you. You understand?”
Ayden nodded, but said nothing, as he was waiting for Lexa to say more.
“I love your Mommy with all my heart, as much as I love you. I am your family now, if you accept me as such. Do you want me to be part of your family?” Lexa asked, making sure the boy understood.
“Yeah, of course!” Ayden said with assurance.
“Good!” Lexa smiled, “You see? It’s not because your Mommy and I aren’t married that we can’t be a family”.
Ayden nodded with a smile this time.
“One day, I will ask Clarke to marry me” Lexa confessed, “But we have to wait a bit before I ask her to be my wife. I have to wait until I’m sure we are both ready. Until then, can you keep the secret?” Lexa asked with a playful look on her face.
Of course, Ayden, being the little boy he was, he took it very seriously. “Yes, I’ll keep the secret safe, I promise!”
Lexa laughed, and they promised each other not to tell the secret by intertwining their pinkies together.
The school’s bell rang, and Ayden hugged Lexa as she kissed his cheek, before he was running towards his classmates.
“See you tonight Yexa, yove you!” Ayden shouted, and he watched as Lexa’s froze, her heart stopping at the boy’s words.
He giggled, waved at her, watched her wave back, before he disappeared into the school.
Lexa stayed still for a couple of minutes, a single tear rolling down her cheek. It was a happy tear, this one. Because what she had said to Ayden was true; blood was not making a family. And even if Ayden wasn’t her biological kid; he was still her child, now, who she was raising with the love of her life. And even if Lexa had gone through hard stuff, and had lost more family members than average, she had a whole new one, counting on her, waiting to be loved by her. A family who loved her back just as much as she did. And to Lexa, that was everything.