I'll Keep You Safe
Song : I’ll keep you safe by Sleeping At Last
A few minutes later, Lincoln was parking in front of Lexa’s loft. The brunette opened her pursed and gave him more money than needed, and once again she didn’t let him gave the spare cash back to her.
“Alright but I’m helping with those bags”, Lincoln had said.
Lexa smiled, and let the guy took the bags and carry them into her apartment.
At the moment she opened the door, an excited Ayden ran into her legs, shouting.
“Yexa you’re back!”
Lexa smiled again, but then she looked at Lincoln, and frowned because the man had his mouth completely open in shock, and he almost dropped the bags.
“Lincoln?” Lexa asked.
“Hum yeah” he shook his head, “Ayden what are you doing here?”
Now it was Lexa’s turn to drop her jaw, and her eyes widened even more when Ayden turned himself to face the man.
“Hi Uncle Lincoln! I’m staying with Lexa now” Ayden shrugged while hugging his legs, as if it was the clearest thing in the world.
Lexa was frozen on spot. What the fucking fuck was going on here?
Lincoln wasn’t better, as he didn’t understand how Ayden could be here.
“But...” Lincoln stuttered, “Where is Clarke?”
“Wait, how do you know Ayden?” Lexa stopped him, not believing what she was hearing.
And at this very moment, because the situation wasn’t complicated and weird enough, Anya came into the living-room looking for Ayden who had run off the room they had been playing in.
“Lincoln? Why are you here?” Anya frowned when she saw the man standing in the entrance, Ayden still hugging his legs.
Lexa’s eyes widened a little more, as Lincoln’s. How Anya could know Lincoln? Why everyone was knowing everyone?
“This is too weird for me”, Lexa murmured, “can someone explain why the...”
But of course Lexa was cut off when a very pale looking Clarke made her way into the living-room, wanting to see the cause for all that noise. Her eyes widened when she saw Lincoln, standing alongside Lexa. Lincoln didn’t waste a minute, put the bags he was still carrying on the floor and approached Clarke, slowly at first, but determined.
“Clarke” he whispered, “we were all looking for you”.
Clarke stayed still in shock. Why was Lincoln here, how did he find her? She didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t ready to see him, to see them, not yet. But eventually now that Lincoln had found her, she wouldn’t be able to keep this a secret for long. Clarke felt his look on her, and lowered her head so their eyes don’t meet.
Lincoln suddenly leaned forward, and took Clarke in his arms, hugging her, under Anya’s and Lexa’s stares, both unbelieving what was happening. The blonde shivered first, but then relaxed into him, and put her arms around him to reciprocate the hug weakly.
“We missed you”, Lincoln murmured, pulling away.
Clarke looked at him, not knowing what the right thing to say was. She wasn’t ready for them. Lincoln then turned himself to Lexa.
“Is that the girl you said you...” Lincoln began.
“Yes”, Lexa cut him off.
She didn’t want Clarke to know what they had talked about in the cab, did she? But the brunette didn’t understand a single thing. First Lincoln seemed to know Clarke and Ayden, and that was very confusing because Clarke had said they were on their own. Second, Lincoln had said “we missed you”, so the blonde was definitely not alone in this town. Third, Ayden had called the guy “uncle”. Again, what the fuck was going on?
“Clarke we know everything” Lincoln started to speak again, “we know about Finn. He’s never going to approach the two of you again. You have to come back with me to Arcadia, the others...” Lincoln sighed, “The others are missing you. It’s not the same when you’re not here.”
Clarke looked down at her feet.
“I’m not ready...” She whispered.
“But why?”
Clarke sighed, and Lexa got closer to her, to protect her if she needed it, while Anya was taking Ayden by the hand to let the others talk. Clarke took her hair out of her neck, showing Lincoln the bruises she still had and then lifted her shirt, showing him the purple zone all around her torso and stomach.
Lincoln put his hand on his mouth, in utter shock. He could never have guessed Finn had hurt Clarke that much. Lincoln never showed his emotions, and could act like a cold-hearted person sometimes, but right the only thing she wanted to do was cry. His heart was aching for the blonde, and he was feeling like dying, because they had let something like that happen. He had let this happen to the woman who had saved their lives multiple times.
“Clarke...” Lincoln murmured, focusing on his voice so it wouldn’t break.
“I’m ok”, Clarke weakly smiled, “Lexa... Lexa rescued me.”
Lincoln nodded, understanding that Clarke wasn’t probably feeling safe yet and would rather stay a little longer with Lexa, because apparently she had been the one to save the day.
“I understand you don’t want to come back with us yet, but what do I say to them...?” he asked, “I can’t lie; they all had been worried sick about ya”.
“You can tell them you saw me” Clarke said with a tiny voice, “Tell them I’m ok and I’m with a friend and I’ll get in touch soon, but please Lincoln, don’t tell them where I am”.
Clarke had been begging her last sentence; she couldn’t even manage herself right now, she couldn’t face the others and look at all the pity in their eyes, she had enough of that in herself. Lincoln reluctantly nodded; he wasn’t very happy about hiding Clarke’s location to the others –because he didn’t want to have secrets- but if this what Clarke wanted, so she would to come back to them, he could accept it.
“OK Clarke. But please, turn your phone and the app on. Don’t go off radar again”. Lincoln asked in a worried voice.
“Will do”, Clarke whispered.
Lincoln nodded. “Ok. I’m going to go now. Stay safe, we will see you soon”.
Lincoln got out of the loft after hugging Ayden and exchanging a few words with Anya.
Once Lincoln was outside, he noticed he had several texts on his phone. He opened the secret app.
Bellamy: meeting at my place. Got news.
Raven: you got yourself a girl, Blake?
Murphy: What’s up?
Bellamy: shut up Raven. It’s about Clarke.
Raven: On my way.
Murphy: We’ll be here in five.
Harper: Meet you there.
Lincoln: I’m coming
Murphy: I’ll be there quickly too.
Lincoln frowned, because he didn’t know what Bellamy had to say. Lincoln was the one to actually discover something today; anyways, this meeting could be a great thing, since Lincoln had still to tell them he had found Clarke.
Twenty minutes later, Lincoln was parking near Arcadia and noticed all the cars were here; everyone was already there, probably waiting for him. He rushed upstairs, kicking into the apartment door.
“I found Clarke” Bellamy and Lincoln said at the second Lincoln crossed the door frame.
Everyone shot them questioning glares.
“I found Clarke”, Bellamy repeated.
“Wait, what do you mean you found Clarke?” Monty asked.
“That’s impossible”, Lincoln protested, “I...I just saw her, and there’s no way you found her”. He didn’t want to say he had been where Clarke now lived, but Bellamy couldn’t have found her as Lincoln was the first member of the group Clarke had seen.
“I didn’t say I’ve seen her, I just... Wait, you’ve seen Clarke?” Bellamy asked, getting closer to him.
Raven got up too. “Lincoln, you saw Clarke? Today? Where is she?”
Lincoln sighed, and sat down next to them.
“I did see Clarke today, and Ayden too. She is well. She’s with a friend, and she’ll get in touch soon” Lincoln repeated what Clarke had said to him.
But of course, it wasn’t enough for them, and certainly not for Bellamy.
“Oh I know that friend of hers. She’s staying at Lexa Woods’” Bellamy spilled, “learned that at the police station earlier”.
Lincoln frowned as everyone else gasped. Neither Clarke nor Lexa had talked about the police station, and the others were confused about the Lexa Woods part. “What?”
“Finn is in a cell right now” Bellamy explained to the group, “we found him this morning with Bryan, some guy named Marcus Kane had brought him there yesterday”.
“Marcus Kane?” Raven frowned, “Abby had a friend named Marcus Kane. He is also friend with Thelonius Jaha”.
“Yeah” Bellamy confirmed, “Kane is Clarke and Finn’s neighbour apparently”.
For a minute, no one said a word, taking all the info in. “Why is Finn in jail?” Emori asked.
“She hum.. Clarke has a lot of bruises on her body” Lincoln began.
“Domestic violence”, Bellamy told them, teeth clenched.
Jasper took his head into his hands as Monty was kicking a pillow. They knew Finn had hurt Clarke and that it was the main reason Clarke had left, but this much... They wouldn’t have guessed it.
“So you’re saying you know where Clarke is, right?” Jasper asked.
“Yes” Bellamy nodded, “I just have a call to make and I’m going to go there to bring her back”.
He turned himself to leave, but Lincoln caught him by the arm, keeping him from moving.
“Bellamy, don’t”, Lincoln said.
In the room, everyone raised a brow.
“Let me go, Lincoln”, Bellamy said, teeth clenched, “Clarke belongs with us, so we can protect her”.
Lincoln sighed, because there was no way Clarke would like to see Bellamy arriving into Lexa’s loft.
“Bellamy, she said she would get in touch soon. It’s her choice. We can’t force her to do anything”, Lincoln tried to argue.
“But she is with a stranger, we can’t let her down!” Harper protested.
“Yeah, Clarke needs to come home!” Monty agreed with his girlfriend.
Soon enough, everyone was giving his mind about the situation, and Lincoln was ready to explode. He wished Octavia was here; she would have understood, and she would have helped him.
“Guys, guys!” Lincoln suddenly shouted so the others would shut up.
They went silent in a second, fixing him with curiosity. Lincoln had never raised his voice with them, not a single time since they had met him.
“You haven’t seen her guys, she’s... She is different” Lincoln sighed again, “and Finn hurt her bad, like very bad, and I don’t know what happened but Lexa saved her life, and Clarke feels more safe with her, for now”.
“That part is true” Bellamy nodded, “Kane said Lexa Woods saved Clarke by neutralising Finn”. He stopped talking to be sure everyone had heard well, “but it doesn’t change the fact Clarke is staying with a stranger!”
“Shup up Blake” Raven suddenly said, and she had all eyes on her. “We need to trust Clarke on that. If she’s not feeling safe to come back here, maybe we need to make things safer here. This is not a game, and Clarke is not alone; Ayden is there too, and we need to protect the two of them. Ayden can’t live here, surrounded by all the crap in our lives. We need to make this right, for them.”
Bellamy wanted to protest and tell them that Clarke would still be safer with them, but the others seemed to agree with Raven, so he kept his mouth close. For now.
“Are you sure she was fine?” Harper asked.
“I don’t know” Lincoln sighed, “she told me she was. But guys, all she needs is time. She knows we are here. The least we can do is give her that time she needs to figure some things out.”
They agreed on this, and promised Lincoln they wouldn’t try to reach for her before she did. Lincoln secretly hoped they would all keep this promise, but who knew?
Once the door closed behind Lincoln, Ayden began to try to carry the heavy bags in the kitchen, failing to lift them up.
Lexa and Clarke were watching each other without saying a word, and Clarke was afraid. She knew she had lie to Lexa about her being on her own. She knew Lexa was probably going to kick them out soon, so she didn’t say a word. In fact she was already starting to go to the bedroom to collect her things, accepting the fact Ayden and her were going to be on the streets again.
But that wasn’t what Lexa was thinking about. She saw Clarke’s face drop, and when she saw her move again, she knew Clarke was going to go.
“Don’t leave”, Lexa whispered at the blonde’s attention, before kneeling down next to an oblivious Ayden to pick up the bags and bring them into the kitchen, helped by Anya.
“Did you see my uncle’s muscles? He is very strong!” Ayden said, showing his own arm to Lexa.
“Yeah, he looks like it”, Lexa sighed, still not accepting the fact Ayden had a real family somewhere.
“Maybe he could make an arm wrestling against Anya, to see which one would win” the boy said again, unpacking the fruits Lexa had bought.
Lexa smiled, and Anya laughed at the boy’s words.
“Anya, maybe Ayden and you could make lunch for this time?” Lexa asked her cousin, because she really needed to talk to Clarke who had run off into the bedroom.
Anya nodded, and Lexa left the kitchen to go find Clarke.
In the bedroom, Clarke was absent-mindedly looking at the ceiling, tugging at her pants, fists closed, like she was ready to explode anytime soon.
“Clarke”, Lexa said, sitting on the couch next to her. And then, at the way Clarke was breathing, Lexa recognised it; the beginning of a panic attack growing inside the blonde.
Suddenly, Clarke was having troubles breathing, and was constantly putting her hands on the bruises she had on her body, trying to rip them off of her.
“Clarke”, Lexa said to bring her back to reality, “Clarke look at me”.
I'll keep you safe
Try hard to concentrate
Hold out your hand
Can you feel the weight of it?
The whole world at your fingertips
Still panting, Clarke looked up, and locked her eyes on Lexa’s.
Slowly, Lexa kneeled in front of the blonde and put her hands on Clarke’s forearms to stop her from hurting herself. The brunette was careful not to constrict too much the blonde’s arms; she didn’t want her touch to trigger something.
“Clarke you’re ok”, she whispered, “you’re ok, you’re safe”.
Your darkness will be rewritten
Into a work of fiction, you'll see
As you pull on every ribbon
You'll find every secret it keeps
Clarke’s panting slowed, but now her eyes were watering, still locked in Lexa’s. The brunette continued to calm Clarke, drawing circles on her forearms.
“You’re safe, it’s over, you’re ok, Ayden is ok, no one can hurt you” Lexa murmured again.
You are an artist
But your heart is your masterpiece
And I'll keep it safe
And then, that was it. The breakdown Lexa was waiting for. Tears began to fell from Clarke’s eyes, and soon she was sobbing uncontrollably. Lexa’s heart broke for the thousandth time.
Clarke leaned forward, and rested her head on the crock of Lexa’s shoulder on her chest. Her whole body was shaking, and Lexa progressively put her arms around Clarke, trying to soothe her.
“You’re ok, I’ve got you, you’re ok” Lexa kept saying, gently rocking Clarke.
Don't be, don't be afraid
Our mistakes they were bound to be made
But I promise you I'll keep you safe
I'll keep you safe
A few minutes later, Clarke was exhausted. Lexa silently helped her to change into comfy clothes and made her lay in the bed.
But just as Lexa was beginning to leave, Clarke hanged to her shirt, keeping her from moving.
“Lexa stay” The blonde said in a whisper, so low that Lexa almost didn’t hear what she had just said.
Lexa nodded and laid beside Clarke. At Lexa’s surprise, Clarke turned around and snuggled into Lexa’s chest. Soon, tears were soaking her shirt, and Lexa knew Clarke was crying again. Lexa couldn’t take it anymore, and put both of her arms around Clarke, trying to make them as one person, pulling the blonde as closer to her as possible.
Lexa felt Clarke’s hand grabbing her shirt. She didn’t mind; Ayden and her had done it before.
“Clarke, listen to me” she finally said in a whisper, heartbroken to see Clarke like this, her beautiful blue eyes ravaged by tears, “everything will get better. You’re ok, he won’t ever touch you or Ayden again. I promise you”, Lexa continued to say, “You’re safe, Ayden is safe. I know you don’t trust me yet, but I just want to help you...”
And Clarke believed her. At this very moment, Clarke surrendered, and all she wanted was to stay buried in Lexa for the rest of her life.
“Thank you”, Clarke murmured, slowly calming herself, still crying a little.
Dismiss the invisible
By giving it shape
Like a clock maker fixes time
By keeping the gears in line
Don't be, don't be afraid
God knows, these mistakes will be made
But I promise you I'll keep you safe
Lexa gently smiled to her, and without thinking, kissed Clarke’s forehead. The blonde shivered, and buried her nose a little further in Lexa’s neck.
Lexa began to draw circles on her back, helping her calm down. A few tears were still falling from Clarke’s eyes, but she wasn’t sobbing anymore.
Then, a knock was heard on Lexa’s bedroom’s door. The brunette frowned, and saw someone slowly push the door open.
“Yexa?” someone said.
Lexa recognised the voice, and apparently Ayden wasn’t in the kitchen with Anya anymore.
“Yes Ayden, I’m here” Lexa answered.
Ayden got close to the bed where his mother was still in Lexa’s arms.
“Can I have a hug too?” he asked.
It made Lexa smile, and she gestured for him to get onto the bed with them. The boy quickly got in, while Lexa was wiping away Clarke’s tears from her cheeks so Ayden couldn’t see his mother had cried. For that, Clarke was thankful. For that and for everything else Lexa had done for them.
Ayden placed himself between his mother and Lexa, sinking into their embraces. He was safe, here in their arms. This is my family, he decided.
Clarke was submerged by feelings, too. Submerged by Lexa’s kindness and care, submerged by her son fully trusting Lexa, submerged by the feeling of being safe for the first time in her life.
“Mommy”, Ayden suddenly whined, “your hair is tickling me”.
Clarke couldn’t help herself and laughed.
“Oh, am I? Like this?” she asked her son, putting more of her blonde curls on Ayden’s face.
“Stop Mommy stop!” Ayden laughed too, trying to get rid of his mother’s hair.
Lexa had a beamed smile on her face. Clarke had smiled and actually laughed, for the first time since the accident. And in her bed with them, Lexa couldn’t get rid of the idea of the three of them, together forever.
They suddenly heard Anya shouting them that lunch was ready.
“Go help her set the table Ayden, we’ll be there soon” Lexa told the boy, shaking his hair.
Ayden nodded, and disappeared from the room. Lexa got up too, kneeling in front of Clarke once again.
“Clarke” Lexa said.
The blonde sat up in the bed, waiting for what Lexa had to say. Instead of speaking, Lexa reached for the ointment Nyko had given her for Clarke, and silently asked Clarke to remove her top so Lexa could apply it. Clarke seemed to hesitate, but then removed her top –actually it was one of Lexa’s shirts - on her own.
“Clarke, don’t run off again”, Lexa finally said while she was applying the ointment with extra-care. She knew she probably sounded like she was begging, but she didn’t care. All she cared about was Clarke and Ayden’s safety.
“Lexa, I can’t...”
“Yes, you can”, Lexa cut her off, “you can stay here, please don’t leave again, you can just stay...!”
Clarke closed her eyes. She really wanted to say yes, god how bad she wanted to stay with Lexa forever, but they couldn’t barge into Lexa’s life like this.
“That’s not that simple...” Clarke weakly protested, her voice a little broken because of the fact she was going to refuse the only thing she wanted.
“I know, and we have a lot of things to talk about” Lexa nodded, “but just for now, until things are easier. Please Clarke, you have to let someone help you...”
Clarke opened her eyes, looking at Lexa. The brunette girl wasn’t wearing any walls anymore, and Clarke could read right through her. She slowly nodded.
“Okay”, she finally whispered, “we’ll stay”.
Lexa smiled, unconsciously coming closer to her.
“But there are things I need to take care of, things I need to tell you, and...” Clarke said again.
“We have time”, Lexa said, “and I’ll stay by your side”.
Clarke nodded with a tiny smile on her face. Lexa whipped the tears from Clarke’s face and kissed her cheek without thinking about it. Clarke’s heart melted at the affection, and she threw herself at Lexa’s neck, pulling the brunette into a bone crashing hug.
Lexa was surprised first, but immediately reciprocated the hug, putting her strong arms around the blonde.
“Hey, why are you always hugging without me? Come on, lunch is ready!” Ayden shouted at their attention.
Lexa and Clarke laughed, the brunette helped Clarke get out of the bed and they both came into the kitchen under Anya’s stare, studying them.