Maybe Someday
Song: Let Me In by Sonofdov
In the kitchen, Lexa and Ayden had just finished preparing breakfast. Ayden had butter and jam all over his face and fingers, and Lexa had to stop herself from laughing at him. She quickly made him clean himself before he could put his dirty hands everywhere.
“Okay Ayden, what do you say if we put all those things on a tray to have breakfast in bed with your mommy?”
“Yes!” Ayden shrieked, clapping his hands together.
Lexa smiled at him, and put everything they had made on a tray, making her way towards her bedroom, quickly followed by Ayden.
“Mommy, you awake? Breakfast time!” he yelled, jumping on Clarke.
Lexa smiled at the scene in front of her; Clarke half-awake, and Ayden trying to tickle her to wake her up. Lexa caught herself thinking about more days like this, Sundays with breakfast in bed, and the whole life in front of them. Lexa shook her head, because it wasn’t Sunday. There were not her family. But deep within her was this new feeling, the feeling that maybe, maybe someday...
She was taken out of her thoughts by Clarke’s look, curious about why Lexa hadn’t move yet. Lexa quickly approached with the tray with the food on it, and carefully put in on the bed.
“Look Mommy, we made breakfast!” Ayden said, pride in his chest.
Clarke’s heart melted for her son, smiling from ear to ear. It was a long time since she hadn’t seen Ayden being this happy and excited about small things. Yes, he was five, and five years olds were usually happy and curious about the world and excited for nothing, but not him. No, Clarke sadly knew it; her son wasn’t the happiest kid on Earth, even if he was doing a good job at hiding it. Clarke was amazed by her son’s ability to forget about himself not to bother her. Ayden was never fussing, complaining or frustrated. Clarke knew that deep inside he was, and sometimes she just wanted to cry for her boy who was only five but who had to act like he was four times his age. Clarke hated herself, blamed herself so much for the life they were living. Yes, it would have been easy to leave Finn and go back living in Arcadia with the others, Clarke knew they would have protected her and Ayden, but over there, there was so much violence, so much that Clarke’s chest was compressing every time she needed to go back there. She had seen so many people die, so many friends she had lost, and she didn’t want this to be her son’s environment. She hadn’t wanted to live with the fear of him being attacked on his way to school, and this constant fear, Clarke couldn’t bear it anymore, not with Ayden.
But she had nowhere else to go, and she had faced her only two options; violence, or being homeless, out of Finn’s reach.
Clarke got out of her thoughts when Lexa handed her the fuming cup of coffee.
“I made coffee, I didn’t know what you would prefer, and Ayden didn’t know either”, Lexa said, “but I can make tea if...”
“Coffee is perfect Lexa”, Clarke whispered, still feeling dead sick, “thank you”.
Lexa nodded, and Clarke noticed the sincere smile on the brunette’s lips, who quickly took away her attention to Ayden, making sure he wasn’t spilling his hot chocolate all over himself. And Clarke watched everything, sipping on her coffee. Maybe there was a third option, after all.
Ayden must have made a joke, because Lexa was laughing, and it was something Clarke immediately was in awe for. When Lexa laughed, her whole face was ravaged by her beautiful smile, and it was lightening everything. Shut up Clarke do you hear yourself talking?, she growled at herself. But there was no possible denial; Clarke was seeing something in this girl.
And apparently so was Ayden, because Clarke was beginning to notice how close those two were. Ayden didn’t have any barriers, and was opening himself to Lexa without a second chance; laughing at her, let her touch him. Ayden’s eyes were everywhere Lexa was. He never had done that before, not even with Raven or Octavia. But right now, right in front of Clarke, something was building itself between her son and that stranger brunette. But Clarke was still too sick to think about it too much, and she finished her coffee, with Lexa forcing her to take some medicine. A few minutes later, Clarke was asleep again, and Lexa silently took Ayden by the hand into the living room to let his mother rest.
Midday and Raven was getting out of her lab to meet Harper and Monty for lunch. She held her hand in the air, calling for a cab. Their meeting spot wasn’t that far, but since the plane crash, Raven had a shitty leg and a brace to help her stand on her feet. She couldn’t walk for long, and run was out of the question. Of course, a surgery could have fixed it quite well, but that shit was expensive, and obviously she didn’t have the money for it. It was her battle scar, Raven liked to think. A constant reminder of how life is fragile and that everything can break, at any moment.
Finally, a cab parked next to her, and she gave the driver her destination. Settled onto the backseats, Raven got her phone out of her pocket and saw she had texts waiting on their secret app.
Octavia: Any news from Clarke?
Octavia: Guys, I’m leaving for two weeks
Monty: I’ve got nothing.
Monty; Wait, you’ve already got another mission O?
Murphy: Seems like Princess is invisible
Bellamy: Not funny Murphy
Murphy: Sorry. I’ll ask Emori to ask her brother. Good luck Octavia
Bellamy: Thanks. Be careful sister
Harper: We’re gonna hold the fort while you’re gone Octavia, stay safe! J
Jasper: nothing on Clarke either, Maya will ask some friends of her at Mont Weather, bye Octavia
Octavia: Guys
Octavia: I’m leaving for two weeks
Octavia: What if something happen to Clarke? I can’t go away that long
Raven frowned. No one had heard from Clarke yet, and Octavia was leaving again. She only came back last week, she usually had at least two weeks in town before having to go back, and it was weird.
Raven: Clarke will be ok O, do what you’re born to do. And please kick asses will ya?
Octavia: Thanks Rae. I’ll see you all soon, keep me updated
Lincoln: Bye my love
Raven: I’m gonna puke right now
Monty: Let them be Raven, and you’re late for lunch
Murphy: Octavia won’t be able to answer to us, why keep her updated?
Harper: because she asks us to
Maya: bye O
Murphy: Whatever
Raven: On my way Monty
She sighed and put her phone back in her pocket. She let her eyes wondering outside.
A few minutes later and the cab had dropped Raven in front of the little bar restaurant they were spending their days.
“Hey Raven”, Harper greeted her.
Raven smiled at the duo, and sat next to them. Like the others, she didn’t have seen their relationship coming; Monty was a geek, always stuck with Jasper while Harper was minding her own business, and one day, they had told the group they were together. Of course, everyone had been excited to hear the news, but it was definitely not something they were expecting to hear. Raven, she didn’t have anyone on her life. It was a simple statement, not a complaint. She was born in a shitty family, with fathers who didn’t care about her. If she was alive today, it was because of Finn, the boy next door. He used to be her only family, once, but now, after everything they had learned... She didn’t know what Finn was anymore. She didn’t even know who he was.
Raven had had a hard time getting over Finn when she discovered he was falling in love with Clarke, a gorgeous and smart blonde, back in high school. But slowly, she had accepted it, seeing he only had eyes for the blonde. But still, maybe a part of her had always been in love with him. He was the closest thing she had of a brother, and had always been there, in her world.
Raven knew Finn, she knew him very well, and everything Bellamy had told them didn’t sound like Finn. She knew he had changed, that night, but seriously, hitting Clarke? Breaking everything in their house, maybe hurting their son too? Doing harm to the girl he used to have eyes only for, becoming violent? He was a hundred per cent not Finn.
But she trusted Bellamy too, and he wouldn’t have made up this entire story if it wasn’t true. Yeah, Raven owned most of her life to Finn, but, even if she was sometimes trying to forget, the other half of her life was because of Clarke. Or rather thanks to her.
The blonde had saved them after the plane crash. She had done everything she could to keep Raven alive and save her leg, even if she couldn’t walk as good as before. After the crash and back in Polis, Clarke had been the one supporting Raven, to keep her from giving up on herself, the one to give her reasons to fight and sometimes kicking her ass to make her move forward. Of course, Octavia and the others girls had been here too, but it was Clarke, mostly Clarke. It always had been her, even if they sometimes wanted to think they could handle themselves very well without her. The fact is, they couldn’t. They were never fine when Clarke was not here, in charge, taking responsibilities on her shoulders, for them. I bear it so they don’t have to, Raven remembered Clarke once said. She was a mom to them, caring about every each of them, forgetting herself in the process.
Now Raven knew things had changed, and needed to change even more. Clarke couldn’t forget about herself that much anymore; she had a son, a beautiful, strong and caring little boy, and they were all grown up. Right now Raven knew they should make him come first, and she knew it was probably the reason why Clarke hadn’t try to reach them. It was understandable really, and even if Raven was hurt Clarke didn’t trust them enough to protect Ayden, she knew their lives and environment were full of crap, and a kid couldn’t live surrounded by violence and fears.
Harper snapped her out of her thoughts when the waiter came to take their orders. Raven sighed, still thinking about how they were going to reach Clarke and actually help her.
It was five o’clock already, and the sun was beginning to fade. Winter was really there, Lexa thought for a moment.
“Yexa, concentrate or you’re gonna lose!” Ayden said, very excited about the game they were playing.
Lexa smiled at him, and reversed two small cards. A horse and a turtle.
“Too bad Lexa, they are not matching!” Ayden shrieked, and reversed two cards, two pandas.
“Yeah, I won!” He screamed with pure joy written on his face, “You saw Lexa? I won this game! I’m the best!”
Ayden was jumping in the living room around the table, showing Lexa the pair of matching cards. Lexa couldn’t help herself and laughed at the boy, completely submerged by his happiness. This game was really simple, a memory game, and obviously Lexa had pretended to have a bad memory and to forget where each matching cards were, but still, Ayden was good at this game, and seeing his reaction, Lexa was glad she had lost.
“Well done”, she congratulated him, “you’re the best! Do you want to eat something? Maybe a hot chocolate?” she asked the boy a little smile on her lips, waiting for his reaction.
Once the words had reached the boy’s brain, his eyes widened, and he clapped his hands very eagerly.
“Yes yes, hot chocolate!”
Lexa laughed again, quickly passing her hand through his hair before going into the kitchen. Ayden didn’t protest when Lexa disappeared from the living room, and Lexa was glad he didn’t. It meant he trusted her, right? He trusted her enough to believe she was not abandoning him, and that she was going to come back right away. Lexa wanted to believe the boy trusted her. She knew Clarke didn’t, and would probably never do so, but if Ayden trusted her, it was enough for Lexa.
Five minutes later she was making her way back to the boy, who had put every card’s face against the table to play again. Lexa sat on the carpet, like they had done so for the whole afternoon, and handed the cup of hot chocolate to Ayden. This time, she had had the idea of giving him a straw to drink it, and avoid to spill the milk on him. She was pretty proud of her idea when Ayden’s eyes widened even more when he saw it and began to drink his chocolate with it. They resumed their game, and as the twenty times before, Lexa let Ayden win.
Caught up in the game, Lexa hadn’t seen Clarke standing a few feet away, leaning on the door frame. She didn’t see Clarke observing her, noticing every single small gesture she was doing towards Ayden.
Clarke had been awake for a while now, and she was hearing all of Ayden’s joy screams and Lexa laughs. Curious, she got out of bed, trying to steady herself on leaning on the walls. Once in the living room, the scene in front of her stunned her. Lexa and Ayden were drinking hot chocolate and playing a game together, like a family. If Clarke didn’t know Ayden was her own son, she would have instantly believed he was Lexa’s. She didn’t know if she was glad or afraid that Lexa and Ayden were looking so close; what did her son was finding in Lexa? What was making Lexa so special to him? Because even if Clarke and Ayden hadn’t talked about it, Clarke knew her kid fully trusted the brunette. If he hadn’t, he wouldn’t be so open with her. Because right now, he was completely relaxed, playing, joking and laughing with her and everything were making Clarke think of a real family. Not the one she had made herself through the years; no, a real and concrete one, which hot chocolates on Sundays and family game time.
But Clarke coughed, caught up by her cold, making her presence known, and Lexa turned back, fixing her worried green eyes on Clarke’s. Maybe someday, the blonde thought.