The Decision

They stood in the lobby, just eyeing each other with shades of blue and green locked in a silent conversation.

“I just wanted to say that…” Clarke finally said. “I’m really sorry about your parents.”
“You despised my parents,” Lexa stated plainly.
“So did you,” Clarke shrugged slightly, “but they were still your parents.”
Lexa nodded curtly.
Clarke stepped forward, “I don’t…” she started, but paused when Lexa took a step back. “You’re afraid of me?”
The corner of Lexa’s mouth twitched ever so slightly. “Merely trying to stay out of the splash zone,” she replied coolly.
Clarke instantly felt her cheeks redden. “I’m sorry about that too,” she told her earnestly. “I thought you were… It doesn’t matter what I thought. I was completely out of line.”
“You were caught off guard and clearly upset,” Lexa said as she cupped her hands behind her back.
“That doesn’t excuse it,” Clarke shook her head. Totally true.
“Perhaps not,” Lexa agreed with a light nod, “but I will.
“Thank you,” Clarke smiled weakly.

There was silence for a moment. Clarke knew what she wanted to say, but her words were failing her. Their friendship had developed so fast and with such ease. It was natural. They were the perfect example of opposites attracting. Everything that made them who they were, also made them amazing as friends. They just made sense to each other and brought out the best in each other. Never in her life had she had a friend like Lexa, and she missed that. “We were friends, you know, before everything else,” she shook her head. “That was real, wasn’t it?”
Lexa’s eyes softened a little. “Of course,” she answered simply.
“Do you think we could…” Clarke nodded. “I don’t know, maybe lunch?”
Lexa furrowed her brow, her green eyes searching Clarke’s blue ones. She sighed. “I think we could both use a drink,” she told her.

An hour later and halfway through their second drink the conversation seemed to be flowing with much more ease. They were catching up as old friends, rather than former lovers and it just felt nice, and again, easy.

“So, how did you meet,” Lexa paused and waved her hand, “forgive me, I don’t know your fiancés name.”
“Wells,” Clarke nodded. “His name is Wells. He works at the hospital too. Oncology.”
“How long have you been together?” Lexa questioned as she shifted in her seat.
“Two years. He’s sweet and nice,” Clarke shrugged and chuckled lightly, “albeit a tad too arrogant and uptight at times, but he’s a good guy.”
“Well, he sounds several levels above Finn,” Lexa grinned at her.
“Oh God, Finn,” Clarke shook her head. “He died, you know? A few years ago.”
“I didn’t,” Lexa answered. “What happened to him?”
“Bar fight,” Clarke answered, still shaking her head, “over a woman, of course. Apparently his temper never improved.”
Lexa merely sighed.
“You know, I was always grateful that you were there,” the words just fell out of Clarke’s mouth as a slight smirk crossed her face. “That you came to my rescue.”
“Hey, you rescued me too,” Lexa surprisingly smirked back. “Remember?”
Clarke nodded slowly and smiled. She did remember. After all, it was the first time she found herself questioning how she really felt about Lexa.

**************************************************************************************************************************************************

Clarke was standing with Raven, Anya and Octavia at the fall festival, laughing as they watched Lincoln and Bellamy take on Jasper and Monty in a competition of bobbing for apples – losers had to pay for dinner. Lexa had excused herself to the bathroom some time ago and had yet to return.

“Lincoln, you better win this,” Anya told him with a stern eye.
“It’s him and Bellamy,” Octavia laughed. “Of course they’re going to win.”
“Ever notice how no one is ever on our side?” Monty shrugged with a goofy smile.
“If you’d actually ever win, perhaps someone would be,” Raven told him and everyone laughed.
“Fucking bitch.” Anya suddenly breathed as her eyes sharpened their attention to something behind Clarke.
“What?” Clarke said, turning quickly. “What is it?” Her eyes fell and Lexa about fifteen or twenty yards away, talking to a flashy brunette and looking absolutely unhappy about it.

They watched as Lexa shook her head with her jaw clenched, they appeared to be having some sort of argument. The girl stepped forward and placed her hands on Lexa’s collarbones, but Lexa grabbed the girl at the wrists and eased her back out of her space as she continued to shake her head.

“Who is that?” Clarke finally questioned.
“Lexa’s ex-girlfriend,” Anya answered, her voice stony. “Costia,” she finished and started to move towards them, but Clarke was already steps ahead of her.

She didn’t know too much about Lexa’s last relationship, other than the fact that it had ended badly and Lexa had gotten hurt, but she didn’t really care. She stopped a few feet away and listened.

“Lexa, come on,” Costia pleaded, but her tone seemed lighter than it should have been. “You know how much you mean to me.”
“Clearly, not enough,” Lexa said sternly and again shook her head. “Just leave me alone.”
“We can work this out,” Costia insisted. “You know that we can.”
“I don’t want to work it out.” Lexa interrupted through her gritted teeth.
“Of course you do.” Costia told her confidently. “I know how much you miss me.”

Clarke had heard enough. She didn’t like seeing Lexa this way, cornered and vulnerable, with her shoulders slouched and her eyes cloudy. Whatever the deal was with this chick, her presence was clearly upsetting Lexa and Clarke would be damned before she would stand idly by and watch it.

“Baby?” Clarke said as she reached Lexa’s side and slipped her arms around her waist, ghosting a kiss on her jaw. “Are you coming? Everyone’s waiting.”
“Who the hell are you?” Costia demanded, looking utterly taken aback.
Clarke replied only with an offended look, but Lexa seemed to understand instantly what was happening and adjusted her arm to let it fall across Clarke’s lower back, her hand resting on her hip as she squared her shoulders.
“Oh,” Costia’s voice came out smaller. “Okay. I see," she nodded lightly. "I guess we really are through.”
Clarke felt the hand on her hip tighten, so she moved a hand to Lexa’s collar to calm her. She could feel the heat radiating off of her as her heart pounded furiously.
“We were through the second that you decided you needed more than just me to warm your bed,” Lexa said coldly and glanced at Clarke. “Are you ready to go?”
“More than ready,” Clarke answered and without another word they walked away to rejoin their friends.

“Thank you for that.” Lexa told her as they neared the group.
“You don’t have to thank me,” Clarke replied as she moved her hand from Lexa’s collar back down to her waist. “I could see how much she was upsetting you. I didn’t like it. She’d be wise to just stay away from you,” she dropped her head back into the crook of Lexa’s neck. “She really doesn’t want to piss me off.”
Lexa grinned lightly, but said nothing.
“Bad ass,” Raven said with a wide smirk as they rejoined their friends.
“I totally approve.” Anya nodded at her as everyone else also gave her approving nods and smiles.
“She’s still watching,” Lincoln told them.
“Let her,” Clarke responded with a shrug as her arms tightened around Lexa.
“So, uh, tell me,” Raven leaned forward and wiggled her eyebrows. “When’s the wedding?”
“Oh, shut up!” Clarke laughed as Lexa took a handful of Bellamy’s popcorn and threw it at her.
“Clarke, you didn’t just see yourself,” Raven said putting her hands up. “That was fucking hot.”
“Stop it,” Clarke huffed as more popcorn flew through the air.

Clarke hadn’t really given much thought to what she had done, when she was doing it. She was flying on autopilot and instinctively knew that the easiest way to defuse the situation was to step in the way she did and make Costia think that Lexa was with her now. It was easy. Being physically close to Lexa was nothing abnormal, it had always been so natural.

Suddenly she couldn’t help but wonder if it was supposed to feel so natural, if it was supposed to feel so good. As the thoughts entered her mind, Clarke shook her head, but she didn’t let go.

**************************************************************************************************************************************************

“Anyway,” Clarke said, looking to change the subject. “What about you? Do you have someone?”
“Ha. No,” Lexa shook her head quickly. “I have no interest,” she answered simply, but must have read the look on Clarke’s face because she added, “Don’t get me wrong, I’m human, I just,” she paused, as if trying to find the right words. “Fuck it,” she finally shrugged. “I’m just not there when they wake up.”
“Oh,” Clarke nodded, feeling her cheek heat up slightly. "I see," she turned her attention turned to her phone.
“Is it time to go?” Lexa questioned.
“No,” Clarke shook her head. “It’s just O and Raven, wondering where I am.”
“You don’t have to tell them that you’re with me,” Lexa offered.
“Oh stop,” Clarke brushed off her words.
Lexa grinned slightly. “Well, I’ll let you chat with them a bit,” she said getting to her feet and walking off towards the ladies room.

O: Hey bitches, how about a drink?
Raven: Sounds good to me. Today Sucks! Clarke, you in?
Raven: CLARKE?!!
Clarke: I’m already having a drink with Lexa. Actually, we’re on our second one.
O: You what???
Raven: What the fuck?
Raven: How’s her eye look??
Clarke: Painful.
Raven: Fuckin-a right it does :)
O: What are you doing?
Clarke: Nothing. We’re just catching up
Raven: Bullshit.
Clarke: Shut up!

Clarke looked up and saw Lexa was coming back. As she watched, her a sudden pang of emotion went off in her chest and her stomach twisted into knots. “Stop it,” she mumbled to herself.

Clarke: Okay. I might have a problem.
O: ???
Raven: Bathroom not big enough for two? ;)
Clarke: Stop it!!!
Raven: Where are you???
O: Fucking shit…
Clarke: Polis.
Raven: 10 minutes!

Lexa was back at the table. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, yeah. Everything is fine,” Clarke laughed and tucked her phone away. “I hope you don’t mind, O and Raven are going to stop in.”
Lexa’s left eye twitched.
“I promise Raven won’t hit you again,” Clarke assured her, crossing her heart.
“It’s fine,” Lexa nodded. “I actually have to go soon.”
“Oh. Sorry,” Clarke said quickly. “I never considered that I might be keeping you from something.”
“Oh God, no, you’re fine,” Lexa insisted quickly. “It’s not like I have anyone to answer to.” As the words left her mouth something flickered in her eyes, almost a realization.
“Can I ask what happened?” Clarke found herself asking.
“Car accident,” Lexa answered plainly. “I hadn’t seen them in a long time though.”

An awkward silence suddenly fell between them

“Everyone missed you, you know? After you left,” Clarke finally said, her voice was soft and sad. “It took a while for everyone to get used to you not being there.”
Lexa sighed lightly, her eyes suddenly filling with warmth. “I missed them too,” she said softly.
“Them?” Clarke scoffed jokingly. “But not me?”
“Well, you are a bit of a pain in the ass,” Lexa teased lightly
“True,” Clarke acknowledged with a nod. “But, at least I’m a cute pain in the ass.” As soon as the words left her mouth, she wanted to take them back. She could feel her face burning.

“Hey there, bitches,” Octavia’s said loudly as she and Raven entered the bar.

Thank God!

“We figured we’d pop in for a quick drink before stealing Clarke for dinner,” Octavia told them rather matter-of-factly as they approached the table.
Lexa motioned to the two empty chairs, but her expression didn't change.
“Nice to see you again, Commander,” Raven said, popping her eyebrows as she sat down next to Lexa. “Ouch. Clarke was right. That does look like it hurts.”
“Only when I blink,” Lexa replied, her tone snarky.
“How are you, Lexa?” Octavia questioned politely, but there was definitely fire in her eyes.
“I’m fine, Octavia,” Lexa replied passively, “and you?”
“Very good,” she smiled, turning to the bar. “Okay, I think we definitely need some drinks.”
“I’ll join you.” Lexa nodded and stood up, adjusting her collar.

Clarke watched them walk to the bar and once they were out of earshot, she turned to Raven. “I think I’m in trouble,” she whispered.
“You think?” Raven smirked. “How the hell did you even end up here?”
“I don’t know,” Clarke whined quickly, dropping her head into her hands. “I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened. Then I got myself thinking about college and I realized that I still missed my friend, even though we weren’t friends anymore and we were way more than friends when we stopped speaking. And then I wanted to offer my condolences for her loss, and apologize for spitting on her, because I still can’t believe I even behaved that way, and everything was going, eh, mostly fine, but then I looked at her and I felt…”
“Slow down,” Raven said holding up her hand. “Better yet, just stop. Did you really think you’d just be able to go out and have a drink with Lexa and everything would be fine? I mean, it’s fucking Lexa!”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Clarke shot out quickly.
“You’re kidding, right?” Raven asked, cocking an eyebrow and grinning naughtily.
“Stop it!” Clarke muttered as Octavia and Lexa returned to the table.
“Seriously? I have two words for you,” Raven dropped her voice. “Karaoke night.”
Clarke’s mind was ripped back to the second time she questioned what was between her and Lexa.

**************************************************************************************************************************************************

The night found the group at a local karaoke bar. Everyone seemed to be having an enjoyable evening and had taken their turns at the microphone, everyone, except for Lexa.
“Come on, Commander,” Raven nagged. “Don’t be afraid.”
Lexa’s eyes narrowed. “I’m not afraid,” she replied sternly. “It’s silly.”
At this Clarke stood up. “There’s nothing wrong with being silly every once in a while,” she said taking Lexa’s hand. “Come on, we’ll do it together.”
Once on the stage Clarke selected a song and gave Lexa a challenging smirk. “I know that you can sing,” she said slyly. “Now, come at me, Woods.”

As the beat began to flow from the speakers Clarke watched as Lexa’s head and shoulders popped slightly, following the rhythm while a light glimmer appeared in her green eyes. Clarke playfully took the first verse and was pleasantly surprised when Lexa came into the second with careless enthusiasm. She was more open than Clarke had ever seen her. As the chorus approached Lexa fixed her eyes with Clarke’s and jerked hand in a motion towards herself as if to say, bring it, and Clarke did just that. Their movements and words were burning with power and passion as they threw everything that they had at one another. The room faded away as they got lost in the music and lost in each other. They matched each other verse for verse and blended their way seamlessly through the chorus. When the song ended the bar erupted in applause, snapping them back into reality. They smiled at each other and made their way off of the stage. However, when they returned to their table, everyone was quiet.

“What?” Clarke asked curiously as she glanced around at the group.
“Okay,” Raven said, exhaling softly, “is anyone else as turned on as I am right now?”
Everyone’s hand went up.
Clarke felt her face burning as she redirected her eyes to Lexa who set her jaw and swallowed hard, but didn’t meet her gaze.
“Knock it off,” Clarke said, but she knew her voice was lacking the conviction, as a pang of sudden emotion went off in her chest. Maybe she really was beginning to see Lexa in a different light.

**************************************************************************************************************************************************

“So, what’s it like being back in the states?” Octavia questioned Lexa as she sat back down.
“It’s quite surreal actually,” Lexa answered. “I wasn’t sure that I’d ever be back, so.”
“What was Bangkok like?” Octavia asked, trying to make conversation.
“It was nice, I suppose.” Lexa replied shrugging lightly.
“Nice?” Raven said harshly. “You sure as fuck took your sweet time leaving it.”
“Bangkok was business,” Lexa sternly retorted, her eyes had gone cold and her body rigid.
“Okay you two,” Clarke interjected quickly. “Knock it off.”
“Actually, I have a meeting that I need to prepare for,” Lexa said suddenly as she got to her feet. For a second, Clarke saw something flicker in her eyes, “but, this was nice. We should do it again.”
“Typical Lexa, all work and no play.” Raven said to her own satisfaction.
“Uh huh,” Lexa rolled her eyes lightly. “Go fuck yourself, Reyes,” she sighed.
“I have actually. Just this morning, in fact.” Raven grinned devilishly and popped her eyebrows. “It was fun.”
Lexa’s eyes instantly flashed with something familiar and her mouth twitched slightly. She gave a short nod and walked away.

“Was that really necessary?” Clarke snapped when Lexa was gone.
“It absolutely was.” Raven answered and took a sip of her drink. Octavia nodded in agreement.
“Why?” Clarke shook her head feeling utterly confused.
“Did you see how she reacted?” Raven asked as she pointed over her shoulder. “She’s still Lexa.”

It was true and something that Clarke had already noticed. Somewhere, beneath the hardened eyes and the flashy clothes was the woman that they all still remembered. Time and space might have changed a lot of things, but it hadn’t changed that. Lexa was still Lexa.

Clarke leaned back in her chair and sighed. Now what?